Hormone War
Roses' Shop || Closed
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hormone war
Hoshi Kim Seok is moving at the famous Seoul city. She wants her dreams to become true, but that's not going to happen so easily. She is going to live with her brother Jin for a while, at least that's what she thought until she opened the door to find 6 more boys forming the complete BTS group. Dealing with seven guys wouldn't be easy right? But she'll have to deal with the whole 'Hormone War' that's about to happen.
Review
TITLE [003/005]
Your title sounds like the typical schooAu and wasn't really eye-catching to me as it was already used pretty often in the same or a similar way and as it takes away the unknown. As a reader you think in a certain way, reading this title and it is a bit sad as some wouldn't read it as it sounds pretty cliche.
description/foreword [005/010]
Just like your title, your description gives away most parts of the plot so you don't really have to read the story anymore as you can already image what happens.
It would have been better not to go into detail too much that Hoshi will live not only with her brother but with BTS as a whole and that they all gonna fall for her at a point. It sounds like a huge cliche like that, it would have been better to write the foreword a bit different so it sounds more unique and catching.
There are also some grammatical errors in your foreword, here are some examples:
She grew up in London (England) but she speak Korean. Her mother is Korean and her father Japanese that's from where her name comes from (Hoshi=Star). → You forgot the third person "s" so correct would be speaks.
She haven't had any connection with her brother for at least 4 years, he left from their house to go and live at Korea because that was his dream and became a popular band member at the famous band BTS. → hasn't and at is not the right preposition in this case. Correct would be: in
characterization [010/020]
We didn't really get to know the male characters. They all had rather small appearances without showing us much of their characters. I can't say much about their characters one by one besides that they all fall of Hoshi.
For Hoshi, she wasn't that appealing to me either as she was crying pretty often and gave away vibes of a girl that needs to be protected by someone else. Though she is independent to a certain point, most of the time, it feels more like she lets the boys decide on what she has to do.
plot [013/020]
The flow of your story was okay, though you didn't rush pushing Hoshi into a relationship, it wa
Your title sounds like the typical schooAu and wasn't really eye-catching to me as it was already used pretty often in the same or a similar way and as it takes away the unknown. As a reader you think in a certain way, reading this title and it is a bit sad as some wouldn't read it as it sounds pretty cliche.
description/foreword [005/010]
Just like your title, your description gives away most parts of the plot so you don't really have to read the story anymore as you can already image what happens.
It would have been better not to go into detail too much that Hoshi will live not only with her brother but with BTS as a whole and that they all gonna fall for her at a point. It sounds like a huge cliche like that, it would have been better to write the foreword a bit different so it sounds more unique and catching.
There are also some grammatical errors in your foreword, here are some examples:
She grew up in London (England) but she speak Korean. Her mother is Korean and her father Japanese that's from where her name comes from (Hoshi=Star). → You forgot the third person "s" so correct would be speaks.
She haven't had any connection with her brother for at least 4 years, he left from their house to go and live at Korea because that was his dream and became a popular band member at the famous band BTS. → hasn't and at is not the right preposition in this case. Correct would be: in
characterization [010/020]
We didn't really get to know the male characters. They all had rather small appearances without showing us much of their characters. I can't say much about their characters one by one besides that they all fall of Hoshi.
For Hoshi, she wasn't that appealing to me either as she was crying pretty often and gave away vibes of a girl that needs to be protected by someone else. Though she is independent to a certain point, most of the time, it feels more like she lets the boys decide on what she has to do.
plot [013/020]
The flow of your story was okay, though you didn't rush pushing Hoshi into a relationship, it wa
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