She told me the plans. She told me the relationship was fake. She told me how sorry she was to drag me into this. But why didn’t she tell me that it would hurt so much?
~
During our first “date” we decided to meet up in a deserted alleyway to run into Jiyong, because Youngbae and Daesung were in charge of taking him here. We needed to establish our “relationship” in front of him. Once we spotted him turning the corner, we began Part 1 of our plan. 
~
I held her hands and looked into her eyes. 
“Hey Seunghyun, here’s Jiyong and I’s couple ring…I’d like you to keep it.” she said loud enough so her ex would hear. I slipped the ring on my finger with a smile. In the corner of my eye, I saw Jiyong’s shocked and betrayed face, which quickly twisted into fury. (Y/N) closed her eyes and sighed, whispering ‘I’m so sorry’ and quickly walked away. 
~
“YAH! Seunghyun HOW COULD YOU?!” Jiyong lunged at me, pushing me. My face hardened. 
I have to do this for (Y/N). 
“It’s not my fault that she doesn’t love you anymore, Jiyong.” 
He flinched back, his face contorting with sorrow, then back to anger. He lunged at me again, but I forced myself to push him back. 
Don’t you see I don’t want to do this, Jiyong? 
He went straight into my face and hissed, “How dare you?” causing me to push him back. We argued for a good amount of time and I could see that my best friend was breaking. Jiyong stared at me with the darkest eyes I’ve ever seen in my life and strode to me, punching me in the face. My breath hitched and I unwillingly made myself punch him back. He hit me once again with more force, pinning me to the ground. Youngbae and Daesung pulled Jiyong off me and Seungri, who was in a car (as planned), held me back. After staring at me one more time, he pushed them off and quickly walked away, leaving me shaking. The three of them helped me with my minor injury and then proceeded to look at me with pained eyes. Youngbae said, “I wish it didn’t have to go like this.”
~
The truth is, I’ve harbored feelings for (Y/N) for quite a while. A few weeks ago, when I heard she needed my help to forget about Jiyong, I quickly agreed- that is until she told me why. She had cancer that was slowly killing her and she didn’t want Jiyong to be heartbroken when she died. “Why did you ask me to do this?” I quietly asked, “Why didn’t you ask Youngbae? Or Daesung? Or even Seungri?” 
She gave me a sad smile, “They are helping by bringing Jiyong to the meeting places. Besides, I know that you are the only one that can actually have an effect on Jiyong- you’re best friends, am I right?” 
Yes…yes we are…but who said that I won’t be heartbroken when you die?
“If you really want to do this, then I agree.” I said, not knowing the consequences of my choice.
~
I held the couple ring she gave me and slipped it off, setting it on a nearby table. I didn’t want to steal (Y/N) from Jiyong anymore, not after what happened today. However, I still wanted to help (Y/N). I didn’t want Jiyong to be heartbroken either. I must sacrifice my feelings. 
The shrill ring of my phone pierced the silence of my apartment room. 
(Y/N) was calling.
“Hello?”
“I’m so sorry for dragging you into this, Seunghyun. I really am.” she said, her voice was shaking.
Ignoring her apology, I pretended she was talking about Jiyong. “No, it’s okay, I’m sure he’ll understand.”
She sighed, “Really? Are you sure? I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me…” 
“He will, (Y/N), don’t worry!” I forced my voice to sound firm and reassuring, although in the inside, I was scared for Jiyong. Scared that he will never see her again.
“Thank you so much Seunghyun. I owe you my life.”
~
A few days after, we began Part 2 of our plan. 
We met up in a car in the parking garage under Jiyong’s apartment. After a whisper of ‘Sorry Jiyong, sorry Seunghyun’, we started “flirting”. After seeing Jiyong enter the garage in a car with the rest of them, I glanced at (Y/N) and s my arms around her, throwing Jiyong a cruel smirk. 
He snapped, ing the car door open and rushing out to our car. 
“WHY (Y/N)?!” he screamed, climbing on top of our car and repeatedly slammed the front window. (Y/N) was still holding my hand and I felt it shaking, but when I sneaked a glance at her, she was giving Jiyong a heartless, cold stare. I tried helping her by squeezing her hand hand comfortingly and threw a sneer at Jiyong. She then proceeded to look out the window, attempting to avoid Jiyong’s desperate cries.
“Drive away.” she whispered.
And with that, we drove away to ditch the scene Jiwon was making. After we were away, (Y/N) broke down, sobbing into my arms.
~
Help me please 
That was all I heard on the other line when (Y/N) called me at 6 in the morning.
“Where are you?!” I panicked, not knowing what to do at that point. 
“I’m at..intersection…Jiyong’s place…” and after that, all I heard was weak coughing.
“I’ll be right there! Wait for me, okay?” I ran to my car and sped all the way to where she told me she was. When I arrived, I spotted a figure slumped up next to a building.
(Y/N)
I threw the car door open and called an ambulance. 
“You’re going to be be fine, they’re going to operate on you and you’ll be all better again!” I said, partly reassuring her, partly to reassure myself. 
“Thank you so much Seunghyun…tell the boys thank you, too…tell Jiyong…I love him.” before I could say anything, she passed out just as the ambulance arrived.
“(Y/N)? (Y/N)!”
~
“Hey (Y/N), what do you call a rabbit that tells jokes?” Seungri asked.
“What?” 
“A punny!” 
Everyone raised their eyebrows except for (Y/N), who let out a weak giggle. We were in (Y/N)’s hospital room. Her head was wrapped in a cloth to protect her bald head. She was in kemotherapy for 2 weeks since she had been here, and the boys and I visited her every day. Seungri and Daesung took it upon themselves to entertain her, while Youngbae and I got her anything she wanted. 
“Tomorrow is my operation, guys.” she murmured quietly. “I just want to say thank you to all of you. I’m grateful to you guys for the rest of my remaining life. If you want anything…just say it. I’ll leave it in my will.” 
We looked at her with disbelief. “You’re not going to die, (Y/N)!”
She looked at us, “30% survival rate- don’t try to pull that bull on me.”
The room was quiet.
~
Today was her operation. I rushed to the hospital as soon as it opened and stayed with her until her operation preparation, desperate to stay with her until the end. The room was dim and silent.
“I just wanted to say (Y/N), I’ve had feelings for you since I met you, but I back off for Jiyong.” 
Her eyes widened slightly but she quickly returned to her calm composure. 
“I’m sorry I couldn’t accept your feelings.” 
“As long as you fight this, I don’t care, (Y/N). I don’t care as long as you come back out of that room happy and healthy.” I replied firmly. 
“I told you not to pull that bull on me, Seunghyun.”
I could see her energy draining fast. Daesung, Youngbae, and Seungri entered a while after, and I pulled Youngbae aside.
“Call Jiyong.” 
He nodded to me and ran outside with his phone. 
Suddenly, I heard alarms blare and doctors hustling to her room. 
“(Y/N)!” I tried to push the doctors to see her, but Seungri pulled me back.
“Stop, hyung.” 
The doctors pushed (Y/N) to the operating room and as she passed me, I saw her flash a smile and mouth 'Thank you’.
~
Jiyong burst into the room just as the operation doors closed. 
“Talk about bad luck?” Daesung muttered under his breath. 
“Hey Jiyong…” I mustered up the guts to talk to my former best friend. 
“What do you want?” he hissed, looking down and away from me.
“It’s not what it looks like…she knew she had cancer and..and she broke up with you to prevent you from worrying too much. I agreed to help her by being her fake boyfriend because I thought it was right, and obviously it wasn’t. I’m sorry for that.” I took his hand and opened it. I slipped off the couple ring and set it in his hand, after that, I walked away, not wanting to see my friend’s broken state. Nevertheless, I stopped in the corner of the room and watched him cry and cry. I felt tears of my own run down my face, not realizing that I was crying myself. Honestly, I wished that I never agreed to this- it hurt too much. 
~
The doctors came out and shook their heads.
What does that mean? Why are they shaking their heads? She can’t be gone. No.
I tried to convince myself that she was fine. She can’t be dead. She was a fighter! I was hysterical. I refused to believe anything the doctors said. Surely it was a prank? 
However, Jiyong was much different. He seemed to accept it right away. He rushed to her side and leaned down to her level. “(Y/N), I love you.” he whispered. 
Once I finally embraced the fact that she was gone, I slowly walked to her side. 
“(Y/N)?” 
Jiyong glanced up at me. 
“She’s gone, jerk.” 
That caused me to snap.
“Hey look, I was helping her and I thought I was helping you too! Now I know I didn’t. I said I was sorry.” I raised my voice a little. 
“I’m sorry.” he said quietly. “I just don’t want her to be gone.” 
I stopped talking and exited her room. When I came home, I collapsed into a sobbing pile, crying until who knows when. 
Suddenly I felt a chill. 
Sorry Seunghyun 
I felt a warm hug behind me but when I turned around, I saw nothing. 

I hope you’re in a better place now (Y/N).