“Good day Chan! Why early today?” Minseok, Chanyeol’s co-worker slash friend here at the restaurant where he works, greets.

 

“Just the mood hyung.” He says as he removes his backpack then slips it inside the locker, grabs his apron, wears a hairnet, then closes it.

 

After Chanyeol has finished preparing himself to work, he walks towards their workplace alongside with Minseok.

 

To say Kim Minseok is a kind person is an understatement ‘cause really, he is more than that. He’s one of the head cooks yet his presence always comes first to help and guide his assistants, one of the main reasons why the restaurant owner likes him very much. He might not be the type of person who is easy to befriend contrary to his soft and buddy-buddy looks but he is courteous, hospitable, and caring, the type of person who is willing to give you advises even though he only knew you for a brief span of time. He is competitive but never haughty, passionate but not a leech. That’s why Chanyeol likes him and qualified him as his friend. 

 

Minseok proceeds to his workplace leaving his friend on his. Not only him but also many of the cooks consider Chanyeol as one of the best cook in the restaurant, which makes them wonder why is Chanyeol still not promoted. Not to mention he invented the restaurant’s best-selling dish, truly commendable.

 

It’s been an hour since Chanyeol came almost 30 minutes ahead of Minseok’s. The restaurant will open in an hour and almost all of the workers are already present and working. The janitors and waiters are also done preparing the tables and chairs whilst the other cooks have helped them in placing the paper mats, utensils, optional relish and condiments and other things usually placed on each table. Everything is neatly settled.

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol makes the best fish pancakes. That’s a fact. Every morning, many people tend to visit the restaurant because of that. And that just makes workers wonder more, why is Chanyeol still not a head chef?

 

It brings them to the possibility of what if Chanyeol and the owner or the HR or anyone from authority has some sort of a feud, and to be quite honest, Chanyeol has been asked of this question for a mass of times and his answer remains ‘no’. In fact, it doesn’t really bother him that much.

 

He has never fought with anyone and is good terms with everybody. Chanyeol is an adorable person, though he possesses a lot of surprises. His oh-so-cute looks contrasting to his deep voice. Sometimes he’ll look hot as hell accompanying his tall and handsome built that will make you think of unnecessary things almost preposterous and face palm-worthy but the truth is, he is innocent, which is kind of disappointing.

 

FUSION, the name of the restaurant where he works, offers him a good pay. Two years ago, he worked as a supervisor in a Burger King branch but he got demoted due to purloining issues that were never proved, which he never did in the first place so he decided to file a resignation. Chanyeol always tells himself he came up with a damn right decision because those Burger King staffs were slanderers as . Hateful because of how fast he got promoted. He was already on the brink of whether resigning or staying even before he got demoted. He just waited for the right time, which he doesn’t know when, for he honestly doesn’t have an underpinning for how to know when is that ‘right time’ in the first place. He just had heard of it when his heart told him, probably.

 

 

Maybe that is why Chanyeol’s interest for promotion decreased. He can’t afford a house as much as he can’t afford to lose a job.

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol leaves immediately after the morning shift, he has to. As much as he wants to help his co-workers to prepare for the next shifters (which isn’t really necessary), he can’t or he’ll be late for his afternoon work. Albeit Chanyeol doesn’t tell them why, his actions infer implicitness, which thankfully, his co-workers are smart enough to understand. He’s often at Fusion at 7 and leaves by 2 and then he starts afternoon shift by 3.

 

Cook by day to afternoon then a music instructor by afternoon to night. Sometimes, he works as a DJ at some club in downtown Seoul every Friday and Saturday nights till midnight as a part time job.

 

Closest to his desires, he works as a music teacher at a music school in Myeongdong, mainly piano. Chanyeol knows many instruments such as drums, piano, guitar of any kind, and consider djembe as a plus, also chiefly the reason why his Chinese childhood friend Wu Yi Fan who part time works as a bartender, brought him to the actual world of disc jockeys.

 

Sunny, the registrar, smiles at him as soon as she sees him at the door. Chanyeol smiles back.

 

The 178 square meter school is located near an actual art school that is why the centre is quite in demand. Ostensibly, the owners plan for an expansion and make it as a two-storey establishment but Chanyeol just rolls his eyes at the thought. The owners often pay the rental either 2 or 3 months overdue enraging the real vicinity owner that they almost have to change locations but farther, having Chanyeol to almost resign.

 

 

He asks Sunny if his student is already here. She nods and points at a cubicle implying that his student is present.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been a long day again, as usual. For a less fortunate person like Park Chanyeol, time is precious and working is necessary if you ache for luck.

 

Chanyeol waits at a bus stop. It’s been almost twenty minutes and he’s getting really bored but on top of it, hungry. He last ate a while ago for lunch at Fusion. It was lot, yes but he’s been through lot too. He rubs his face with his palm fully opened in annoyance. He’s face is also getting oily. The sudden desire for bath came into picture, which made him more annoyed because why the is still there no bus? Damn it.

 

After a long wait, a bus finally comes that drives its way to his route. He gets in and smiles as he proffers his pay because finally, he can get to home now.

 

 

 

 

 

Little did Chanyeol know, he fell asleep inside the elevator that’s why when it reached the 11^th floor, the lift doors stay open for a couple of seconds until finally the passenger woke up. Good thing it’s only him there or else it’ll be embarrassing. He steps out of the door and not long when he reaches the flat’s one. He puts in the key then yes, finally, he’s home.

 

Chanyeol places his things on the table near the door at the living area and sprawls himself on the couch with his head laid back.

 

 

 

He’s too tired that it took him a few minutes to notice the television in front of him, on.

 

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol is drained but he manages to say his boyfriend’s name loud, but not scream, to call him out.

 

“Chanyeol?”

“Yeah.”

 

Baekhyun runs after that, following the voice. He sees Chanyeol in full exhaustion, all worn out. The state he’s in today is normal but also not normal. He’s always tired but not always this disheveled.

 

“What happened to you?” Baekhyun sits beside him, tone full of worry. Chanyeol doesn’t answer. He wants to but he’s too tired and just wants to be lazy for a while. The shorter respects his decision and just nods to acknowledge the situation.

 

Chanyeol wants to say and ask things like.

 

“You should be aware next time. What if someone duplicated the key and barges in and burgle? If I hadn’t called out for your name, you wouldn’t know I’m here.”

 

 

But again, he’s too tired answer except for one thing.

 

 

“Have you eaten yet?” Baekhyun asks.

 

“No.” He replies in full emphasis.

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun have been in a relationship for 4 years.  They are roommates for almost 7 years since their 2^nd year in college while entering the same university. That also stood as the pillar for their relationship till they developed deeper feelings. The first year went well making everyone to adore their relationship even their homophobic relatives, but the next following years didn’t. Everything has suddenly changed especially with Baekhyun. Sometimes he is understanding, sometimes he’s not, sometimes he’s caring, sometimes he’s selfish. Baekhyun demands for attention, Chanyeol desires comprehension. Everything is just so complicated making their relationship status go steep, as if being with each other is a Gehenna. Their relatives even attempted to interfere to help them but it’s useless.

 

They say a fight between two lovers is normal, Chanyeol understands it. But too much isn’t, never it will be. If that’s the case, it means something’s wrong. As a matter of fact, they’ve been under so many interrogations that why are they still with each other. Chanyeol’s friends tell him to split up already, even Baekhyun’s if only Chanyeol knew, but both of them don’t comply. Honestly, Baekhyun and Chanyeol don’t know the reason for either why are they still keeping up with each other and why they always fight. They don’t even know if they’re relationship is still worth fighting for.

 

 

They’ve been under so many useless-almost-pointless quarrels, relentless wrangling even in front of others. If Chanyeol doesn’t yield, Baekhyun won’t. If Baekhyun doesn’t yield, Chanyeol won’t. Sometimes, if one’s mood is worse, if one yields, the other still won’t. Until one walks out or leaves then that means the fight is over but the tension is still not. It mostly lasts for a day or two.

 

They had their worst fight when Chanyeol came an hour overdue for a family dinner at Baekhyun’s house because he lacks money to take train so he walks instead to go at the near bus stop for a ride. He didn’t even spare him a glance when his parents welcomed him in full glee. Chanyeol doesn’t know if Baekhyun’s parents were mad but at least they acted polite.

 

The dinner didn’t go well, too many indirect hits from Baekhyun’s awful mouth, hidden subtexts from his actions, making his parents shift to another topic, and Chanyeol, fully aware that he’s the one Baekhyun is talking about, had no choice but to keep his mouth shut and listen to his boyfriend indirectly humiliating him.

 

After the dinner, Baekhyun’s parents apologized to him after they confronted Baekhyun to settle whatever bothers him with his boyfriend and stop being immature, so they did, they talked, but instead of making everything better, Baekhyun shoved how wrong Chanyeol is, making him almost regret it.

 

 

“You won’t be poor if you didn’t kill your parents.”

 

“Baek—“

 

“I’m right, right? You became poor because you killed your parents. Right Chanyeol?”

 

“Stop it!”

 

“No Chanyeol I won’t. Why would I? Are you guilty? Huh? Cause you’re a pest? That something bad always happens to the person you love? That you’re cursed—”

 

“Let’s just settle everything okay? You don’t have to be that harsh! Baekhyun please.”

 

Chanyeol said, crying. He begged, almost on his knees just to kneel to make his boyfriend stop.

 

Chanyeol is guilty, for lifetime. As much as he doesn’t want to, Maybe Baekhyun’s right, maybe he really did kill his parents.

 

 

Chanyeol’s parents are fortunate, but not rich, and at the same time complicated. The time they got separated, they still weren't married. Chanyeol stayed with her mother since she owns a mini grocery to sustain, until she found a new love and they got married. Her mother’s husband slash his stepfather treated them well. He wasn’t rich but it’s fine, everything’s fine. The only thing is he was not capable of producing a child so they decided to adopt one. A year after, Chanyeol’s biological father died and there he knew that his father also got a new family.

 

When Chanyeol was 10, he was diagnosed of a brain tumor coming with that is a colon cancer both in their second stage. Many people helped even from his father side but it was never enough so they had to sell their house and lot. Chanyeol’s benevolent stepfather sold his car for his medications. He might have retrieved his life, but he also diminished the littlest of fortune they have.

 

Because of this Chanyeol’s mother was no more capable of sustaining her business. His stepfather who worked as a delivery boy became their last resort to live, but still it wasn’t enough.

 

They started living from relative to relative but never permanent. If worse, they live under a bridge or on an overpass. Sometimes, they stay at Han River until securities go after them. Until one day, while they were running to escape, her younger stepsister continued on running not noticing there is a bus approaching. Their father pushed her sister subsequently him to be the one hit. He died after that.

 

Months after, her mother was killed after stealing a bread, not by the baker but a group of people also from a penurious circle.

 

Chanyeol had a legal claim to his parents’ little wealth but his biological father’s were given to his newfound family. Her mother’s littlest of wealth were made to be partaken by him and his stepsister, but it’s too little for a lifetime. Luckily, a relative found them in streets whose actually Chanyeol knows. Then sheltered the two of them. When he turned 16, he settled on his own until he got himself in a university, total contrast to Baekhyun’s.

 

 

 

Chanyeol was quiet throughout the whole dinner and Baekhyun understands it. After they finished eating, he let his boyfriend rest for a while before going to sleep then he lets himself do all the work.

 

When Chanyeol wakes up, he noticed Baekhyun wasn’t on his bed. Even if they are boyfriends, they still sleep separately. But he notices a neon- yellow post it note, which he grabs later on.

 

‘Be gone for a week. Take care :)'  It says. Sure it’s Baekhyun. It’s not like it’s the first time he’ll be gone, but he’ll miss him. Everything’s fine. He just wished Baekhyun wrote why.

 

Chanyeol lifts himself up and gets off the bed. As soon as he stands up, his day is starting again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh Sehun is Chanyeol’s friend for roughly 10 years ever since college and even if he is 2 years behind him, it never hindered their friendship. Sehun works as a bellhop at a 5-star hotel in Busan, and as he stands by near its cafeteria, he notices something familiar so he goes inside. He remembers the first time Chanyeol introduced Baekhyun to him. He thought ‘Baekhyun’ was a girl though he knew about his friend’s double-uality. His taller friend showed him a picture and there he confirmed that Baekhyun is a boy.

 

Baekhyun is also Chanyeol’s wallpaper both home screen and lock screen and Sehun often borrows his phone so he’s kinda used to seeing his friend’s boyfriend’s face. That’s why when he saw that Baekhyun who seems to be flirting with another man who looks just around his age. He took his phone and took a photo of it. Take note that phone is prohibited.

 

 

He knows what he’s doing is wrong so he observed them a bit more. He’s about to take everything for granted and dismiss Baekhyun’s actions as something professional but when the stranger man held both of his hands and kissed it, plus the smaller guy didn’t pull away instead he smiled more. He pulled off a smile that should only be meant for Chanyeol.

 

Sehun feels frustrated. So frustrated he wants to beat the two up but he knows he’s in no place. He’s still not sure but a greater part of him already is. He’s feeling the way every time he sees his friend cry over Baekhyun and no matter how much he tells him that he doesn’t deserve someone like that, Chanyeol being Chanyeol doesn’t comply and it hurts him more. It makes him mad. He knows he’s being conclusive and what he’s about to do could be interposing but maybe— maybe this is the right time for Chanyeol to know.

 

He sends his friend a text.

 

Chanyeol had just finished teaching his student and now he’s about to go. A while ago, he received too many texts. He saw Sehun’s name on the lock screen but he didn’t read it. He just turned off the ringer. Plus, mobile phones or any form of gadgets are strictly prohibited while working. Chanyeol rolls his eyes every time he receives a text from Sehun during working hours.

 

He finds a near luncheonette. Good thing he still has some spare money, hopefully enough for him to afford food. He is so hungry he can’t take it anymore. In front of the door is a large menu placed on a painting stand. The prices are affordable so he goes in.

 

 

Chanyeol checks his phone as soon as he told his orders. His inbox is full of Sehun’s texts and he wonders why, when he checked it, it doesn’t say anything except for

 

‘I need to tell you something’

 

‘pLEEAASSE HYUUUNG’

 

‘CHANYEOL’

 

‘PAARRRKK CHANHYUNG’

 

‘WHERE ARE YOU GODDAMNIT THIS IS URGENT’

 

and more. Having not much of a contents but it’s not useless. Sehun seems to really have something important to tell so he texts back.

 

‘What is it?’

 

Sehun replies immediately.

 

‘Why weren’t you texting back?’

 

‘I’m working you brat. What is it? Spill the tea!’

 

The exchanges were made immediately but after that, Sehun didn’t reply back. Chanyeol just places his phone on the part where it won’t be messed with the food that had just been brought to him.

 

His phone beeps after 5 minutes.

 

‘I’m sorry hyung’

 

The message comes along with 2 pictures then a message again, more of an explanation.

 

He sees Baekhyun on a first picture, it’s blurred but he recognizes it. Sehun seems to have captured it in discreet. The photo looks like he’s having a conversation with another man he’s not familiar of.

 

The second one is also Baekhyun, with his hands held by the same man as he plants a kiss on it.

 

Sehun works in Busan so…Baekhyun’s in Busan too?

 

He texts back.

 

‘Since when Baekhyun was there?’

 

‘Dunno hyung, just seen him today. U okay?’

 

‘Yeah. Thanks Hun.’

 

‘Did he tell you he was leaving?’

 

‘Yes, 5 days ago he left a letter.’

 

‘I’m sorry.’

 

‘No it’s fine. I’ll deal with it. Thanks again. I’m eating. Text you sometime.’

 

‘K hyung.’

 

 

Chanyeol comes back to his senses after realizing that he’s been tearing up over his food.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol went back home crying as soon as he touched the doorknob. He doesn’t know why but it felt like the necessity to cry were present. Needless to say it hurt so much. But the man is professional, none of his workers noticed that he’s undergoing through something, though he was quiet even during break times but the workers took it as a norm. Tonight will be Baekhyun’s return. He doesn’t know how he should react or should he react, because it weren’t confirmed in the first place. But he is the boyfriend, of course he has the right to interfere.

 

Chanyeol comes back home, as usual, prostrated. Too jaded with life. He rushes towards his closet and gets some clothes. Chanyeol picked his white pyjamas printed with different Italian words in cursive black in font color dissimilar in sizes, and his plain black sweatshirt slightly loosed, then chooses a wife beater for the underneath. He rushes towards the bathroom afterwards.

 

He decided to coo galbi tang since it’s the only dish he could cook from all the available ingredients in their fridge. Grocery is truly a must so Chanyeol decides to go the market next day.

 

A knock draws on his door, causing a few amount of hot soup on his spoon to spill over his pyjamas. He vigorously fans his lap using his hands as if it’s the most effective way to abate the heat. Chanyeol hears another knock then the heat was gone all of a sudden. He stands up as he goes linear to reach the door. There is a knock again with a voice this time. It’s Baekhyun calling out Chanyeol’s name in a calm way but enough to hear from the inside. Exactly a second after that, the door opens.

 

Baekhyun bypasses him at first as he slovenly puts his backpack elsewhere not minding he might destroy something. Chanyeol doesn’t speak until Baekhyun does.

 

“I see you cooked.” The smaller looks at the table across his sight with a bowl placed on its center. He can also see a faint vapor rising up then he sits on the couch while removing his socks and placing it inside his shoe.

 

It was a plain one. Not even a conversation starter aside from Chanyeol has to say ‘yes’ but he still speaks hence prolonging the conversation if right words are to be used.

 

“Yeah. It’s good for two, three actually. I assumed you already ate but I just wanna make sure.”

 

“I’m full actually.” He replies with a smile. “Are you alright?”

 

“Yeah. I just came back too actually so...” He hangs.

 

The other one acknowledges. “Okay.” He then lifts both his pair of shoes with one hand. Index and middle finger used, then his other hand taps Chanyeol’s shoulder as he goes straight towards the room.

 

Just that. It’s the norm. To be honest, everything was so much better when they were just roommates even when there’s still no feelings because they are friends. Unlike now, which is so plain as if they’ve just met each other for a day or two, as if there are no strings attached.

 

Chanyeol just finished washing the dishes, wipe the table, and put the soup into a plastic container. Everything’s done for almost half an hour and Baekhyun didn’t even come out. For sure he’s not sleeping. His laughs could be heard from the other side of the wall meaning he’s awake. Chanyeol wonders why.

 

Baekhyun notices the door open with an approaching shadow on the ground until the owner of the shadow appears. Of course it’s Chanyeol’s.

He is about to say thank you to him because his boyfriend brought his bag with him but Chanyeol starts first.

 

“You were gone for a week yet you only brought a backpack.”

 

“Travel light” He replies monotonously, but’s true. Aside from that, Baekhyun’s backpack is spacious and stretchable from the inside.

 

The taller nods at his answer just as he immediately diverts his attention on his phone then laughs again.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Ebook.” He says without a glance spared.

 

 

Minutes became hours and Chanyeol won’t wait till those hours turn into day although admittedly, he’s confused right now. He agreed to the thought that he has the right to ask. It’s just that he doesn’t know how to do it right.

 

“Baekhyun?”

 

“Mm?”

 

“Talk to me.”

 

The smaller chuckles as he rolls his eyes.

 

“I’m serious.” With that, he finally made Baekhyun look at him as he puts his phone on the bedside table then faces him with a smile out of something uncertain like confusion and reaction from absurdity? He doesn’t know and his focus will not be spared to decipher the smaller’s smile.

 

“Do you plan to sleep beside me?” Baekhyun asks,

 

But he doesn’t receive an answer to that. “Where were you?”

 

“Why so nosy?” He chuckles. Chanyeol sighs silently. Is he doing it right?

 

“I’m your boyfriend.”

 

Baekhyun tells him he went to a venture necessary to his family’s non-government organization.

 

“Where?”

 

“In Mokpo, Gangnam…” Baekhyun tells different places and Chanyeol waits for a certain name of a place to be mentioned but he finished off with six? or seven locations, without Busan.

 

He says it enthusiastically, if only it were true. Chanyeol still hopes it’s true.

 

Chanyeol continues to pry. Almost not minding if he annoys his boyfriend but he’s aware he already is, he, in fact lost his enthusiasm turning into a tone that he’s forced.  The questions were always plain but it was Chanyeol’s comments hinting subtexts and Baekhyun notices it.

 

“ Chanyeol get straight to the point?”

 

“Why were you in Busan?” Chanyeol answers immediately. It was the straightforwardness, which made Baekhyun stiff and the coldness, which made him frozen. He doesn’t know how to respond. He’s tired too. It’s true he went to a venture, but it’s also true he went to Busan and he’s not someone who’s gonna deny it.

 

“What do you want me to say?”

 

Chanyeol asked for the truth. Baekhyun told him the truth. His tone wasn’t curious but pure anger. As if he knew something. So he told him that yes, he really went to a venture and one day, a man told him to meet him at the hotel in Busan who turns out to be his two-week fling.

Baekhyun told him it was nothing serious, nothing happened between them and he is to break that man’s heart (if ever there really is love) sooner. He explained that he just wanted something different.

 

It was stupid but Baekhyun explained it as if he wasn’t feeling at least a single bit of guilt. He was monotonous as if he’s talking to nobody. Chanyeol is also shocked by how Baekhyun reacted to be honest. He expected either one of them walk out or yell and screams reverberating through walls. Not him being on top of Baekhyun kissing his neck like a vampire thirsty for blood. The other’s hands caresses his back inside his sweatshirt while the other’s encircled on his nape deepening the kiss.

 

It was eager, vigorous and most of all, aggressive. He doesn’t know why all of a sudden he wanted to climb on top of the other and didn’t really expect the other would submit. But maybe they’re just so tired to fight.

 

“Split up with him.” Chanyeol says with emphasis in each and every word, almost sounding like a madman while he tightens his grip on Bakehyun’s forearms, which are now resting on top of his own head.

 

“Okay.”

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun broke up with the man after that night. They went back to normal, as if nothing happened. Bickering will never be gone but that’s norm, both minor and major. Today, both of them go to Baekhyun’s second-degree cousin’s wedding, which will be held in downtown Seoul. Chanyeol drives. Though he doesn’t have his own car at all but his aunt lent him the one a decade obsolete from her garage, gave, actually. Just that he only uses it occasionally because gas.

 

Chanyeol arrives at the event no longer than an hour but they’re almost late. They were in suits. Every man is in suits. Baekhyun comes out of the car door right after Chanyeol parks without saying a word and he understands because Baekhyun will be singing.

 

Chanyeol feels awkward. This isn’t his family and he barely knew the other’s 2^nd-degree relatives because Baekhyun doesn’t bother to introduce him. It felt worse that he is away and probably will be away for the whole event because he knows how Baekhyun is close to his family. Good thing his bother, Baekbeom, tapped him and accompanied him inside. Chanyeol is slightly close with him.

 

 

 

 

The wedding went well according to terms and how a wedding should be. At the reception, the newly wed couple acted appropriately sweet complementing the pink motif of different shades, monochromatically beautiful. The wedding itself isn’t classy or extravagant like how rich people typically do it but the mélange feel can be truly felt, which makes it more amusing and interesting.

 

Chanyeol proceeds at the back door to take a pee. There seems to be less people there because it’s a little bit far from the reception hall. If needed, most people will go to the lavatory at left side of the hall because it is nearer at the main entrance and closer to the event itself. But Chanyeol prefers a little bit farther so he could stretch his long legs too. The back door leads you to a down stairs that directly proceeds through a miniature botanical garden where lavatories are also located. He sees a white gazebo with vines accordingly draping the entrance. Also a white bench chair near a little fountain with 2 gnomes on its either sides, then he sees the restroom.

 

 

Chanyeol decided to stroll afterwards. Besides the reception is almost done and it’s not as if he’s presence is a necessity there. From the stairs that will lead him back, he goes at the backside of the garden. It’s really cute and the feeling of solemnity exists. It’s not big like parks, but it’s a beauty, as if the one who designed it gave his all to a small one like this.

 

He walks more and more until he hears a sound of flowing water so he strides longer till he proves himself correct.

 

“I didn’t expect that.” He mutters with amusement as he puts his hand on a side of the wooden connecting bridge.

 

He thought wrong because the place is big. The lake is surely man made and doesn’t surpass his horizon, not even close, but it’s really pretty.

 

‘Why is no one going here?’ He thinks.

 

Chanyeol walks more with a smile printed on his face almost borderline long lasting as he slows his pace adoring the place. By four pm, he finally stands up from the bench he’ sitting onto. He’s been there since half an hour ago. He really wants to stay there but it would be disrespecting to Baekbeom who acknowledged him.

 

There he just noticed that there’s a house hidden at the woods. He sees a hint of a door and a little part of the roof peeking out the foliage. Chanyeol knows he won’t do anything to it, he neither has the interest of burgling it or destructing, and it’s not bad if he wants to see it so he does. He walks towards the said house and he sees how relatively oversized it is, like 6-10 persons could live in if it’s big as how he imagines it on the inside. Chanyeol doesn’t grab the knob and goes in but he strolls along its lot. It’s big, and fancy. He wonders if the person who owns the garden and the person who owns the house is the same. He can’t help but feel awe.

 

 

Then Chanyeol hears something inside, like a fallen piece, sounds like a wood that is heavy but no one reacts, no one nags. He’s afraid of whether there is a person inside or a ghost but he still finds himself scooting closer and makes sure he’s in discreet till he finds out that there is someone inside.

 

Not all the curtains were closed but they are beautifully assembled and tied. Chanyeol can’t help but feel mixed when he saw it.

 

 

 

Baekhyun has his laps straddled on top of someone as his back is arched giving the other access to his neck to smear on it. The taller creates a scene in his mind assuming how they entered the house and did what shouldn’t be done that it caused something to fall. Chnayeol feels mad. 

 

He also wonders since when the two were here, did they see him when he fell slightly asleep a while ago? Or they’ve been here even before he came. Chanyeol feels betrayed.

 

He won’t cry, he’s feelings are too hard to determine for him to cry. Instead of barging in and beating that person—whom he realized the man who sang with his boyfriend a while ago at the wedding—screaming at Baekhyun and make a scene, Chanyeol leaves them behind. Chanyeol feels weak.

 

 

“Where did you go?” Baekbeom asks after he saw the taller walking towards him.

 

“I wasn’t feeling well. I hope you’ll excuse me.”

 

“You mean you’re leaving?”

 

“If it’s okay?”

 

“Yeah, sure, I’ll just drive Baekhyun home. And just in case, there’s a near hospital just a kilometer away from here.” The elder says with a comforting smile. Chanyeol feels guilty.

 

He smiles back.

 

 

He did what he thought the thing he needs to do whether it is right or wrong. He remembers the scene in The Vow where the man fights with another man at a wedding for the sake of his love towards the woman. It’s almost the same. Close enough for Chanyeol to wonder why can’t he be like that, but instead of going back, he increases his speed and tightens his grip on the steering wheel. Chanyeol feels weak.

 

He feels mad for seeing Baekhyun doing it with others. He feels frustrated for not being the person all Baekhyun ever wanted. He feels betrayed not just by Baekhyun but by the world as bad memories appear. Chanyeol feels nostalgic. Chanyeol feels melancholic. Chanyeol feels dark. Why is his suffering not enough?

 

 

Chanyeol feels unloved.

 

 

He didn’t fight probably because he’s already exhausted doing it with life. He didn’t speak because he has been already questioning life for his entire life.

 

 

Chanyeol feels tired.

 

 

It is when the thought of suicidal rises. He has thought of it for how many times but he never does it. He loves himself more. But perhaps sometimes, love just really ain’t enough. At seven, he finds himself on the outskirts of town, almost remote if not for the small houses far neighboring each other. There were no cars except for him. He’s familiar with the place and he already went there once, albeit not know where exactly it is.

 

There were no streetlights but Chanyeol could see a hill. The day he last went here, it was morning, and Chanyeol knows where it would lead him when he proceeds.

 

Death—and Chanyeol fears death.

 

He looks at it, driving slowly and silently with his headlights at its appropriate lowest, trying not to disturb people. He thinks of it and it makes him shiver. He’s still willing to hold, it’s just that he wants someone to hold or at least help him hold on. Chanyeol feels grateful to people who aren’t aware that they are trying, but it’s not easy as that.

 

Chanyeol thinks for what he thinks is his last time to do as a brisk paced truck meets his and suddenly hits him, setting him off a hill. Too fast to catch up with everything so Chanyeol doesn’t mind anymore. What’s happening is happening. If he dies, he dies. For the probably last time, Chanyeol is feeling, and he feels alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun received the news a day after the accident. He was admitted into a hospital. Baekbeom presumed that it was because he wasn’t feeling well so it was what he told the police. The only thing they are confused with is why was Chanyeol there. His aunt and stepsister came too. They decide to wait for him to wake up before suing the driver. They also predicted that the truck was too fast.

 

Awake or not, Chanyeol knows he also has a fault in what happened. His lights were too low, pace too slow and his attention weren’t really on the road that time, it was on the hill.

 

The driver could only say sorry and accept the consequences, if only he knows what the other was exactly doing (planning), he would surely blame him too.

 

Right now, Chanyeol is critical.

 

 

After an unknown span of time, he wakes up.  On a bed not his, white comforters, pillowcases in dark blue (some are white) and the bed sheet is also blue. He also notices that the bed is bigger than his usual bed but the room seems to have the same size, but still not his.

 

 

He stands up and finds a small boy standing in front of the bed, looking at him.

 

Chanyeol thinks he’s probably the same age, only smaller that makes him look cute, he admits.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Baekhyun.” His grandfather calls. The said boy turns to look at his grandfather who is reading a newspaper.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Stop washing and talk to me.” He pauses. “Here.”

 

His grandfather is basically telling him to sit in the couch in front of the rocking chair where he’s sitting, as if they have something really important to talk about. So the grandson leaves the dishes and proceeds to where he should be.

 

They both let out a sigh as soon as they are in front of each other. Then the grandfather starts. “Who’s that man at the loft?”

 

Baekhyun’s eyebrows meet. “The man at the what?”

 

“The man at the loft! You, kids these days” Grandfather shakes his head. “You should’ve told me! It’s not that I’ll get mad. You’re already 25, you’re even legal to do—“

 

"Grandfather!" Baekhyun interrupts in advance before his grandfather could say what he means to say and he knows what he is to say and he doesn't want his grandfather to say it, because, 'That's...just--that doesn't sound right.' Baekhyun innocently thinks.

 

“What?”

 

Baekhyun thinks. “He’s just my friend.”

 

“Friend?” He stops at that. Baekhyun’s not sure if his grandfather bought it or not. He eyes doesn’t express disbelief, but somehow, he could see him trying to remember something and Baekhyun wasn’t wrong.

 

“I remember something.” He continues. “You told me you saw him at the Caltex Lake last night. God, Baekhyun you were so drunk, I almost thought you two had—“

 

“Grandfather! Please…and, God! I didn’t drink last night!” Baekhyun defends himself, from many things. He can’t just agree with what his grandfather is saying but he can’t also deny that his grandfather seems to be right. He looks so right to be honest.

 

He didn’t drink last night. He drinks yes, but not last night. And he’s sure of it. But he also can’t remember where did he go.

 

“What? Stop stopping me. Don’t act like a child. After you finished washing, wake your boy up and prepare him breakfast.”

 

“He’s not my boy. Why—ugh!”

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun goes upstairs after finished cleaning the plates. He’ll go there alone to see him. His grandfather wants him to talk to him alone and Baekhyun couldn’t agree more.

 

He opens the door and goes up to the loft, and his eyes widen when he saw him. Too many things to wonder, too many questions to ask such as how did he even managed to bring this man up to his loft. Is he stronger when he’s drunk? Was he really even drunk?

 

He’s wearing a camouflage sweatshirt and a brown shorts. He could also see his feet still wearing a brand of sneakers he doesn’t know but it looks expensive. Baekhyun couldn’t remember if this was how he saw him last night. He’s still asleep. Looking too serene that Baekhyun is willing to wait till he wakes up voluntarily just to not wake him up by himself. He also fits in the bed despite his tall figure and out of nowhere, Baekhyun laughs at that.

 

But more than everything, he still feels afraid. What if he’s a burglar, a murderer, or some person who’s pretending to be a lodger who has a morbid plan so he tricked Baekhyun last night? Now, Baekhyun almost believes he really was drunk last night, because he doesn’t know anymore what else is to believe so he decides to wake him up but before that, the man got up first.

 

Just from seeing him, the tall figure’s eyes widen. Not to mention Baekhyun’s too.

 

He looks too much at Baekhyun, palpably noticing him but the other doesn’t mind. There was a plentiful of seconds that became minutes before one of them started to talk.

 

“Uh…hi?” The taller guy talks still sitting on the bed.

 

Baekhyun flusters, probably because of his deep voice? He looks nice even in his disheveled hair but he should not be deceived just by the other’s looks. Not because he’s handsome but Baekhyun feels nervous that he couldn’t find the right words to say so he ends up with. “Why were you in that lake?”

 

He didn’t really intend to utter those. It just came out, and Baekhyun could see how the other was confused-almost-terrified.

 

“Huh?”

 

He talks nicely. Mannered. It’s just one word—if ‘huh’ is even a word, but he sounds harmless. Baekhyun thinks. He also thinks it wouldn’t be bad if he answers him with niceness.

 

 

Baekhyun sits on the side of the bed with the other also still on it. It’s not that he’s comfortable. He’s just being casual. But still guarding his actions afraid to seem maniac. Then he talks.

 

“I don’t know as well. I think we were drunk. You and I.” Baekhyun said those with pauses on each sentence, then exhales a slightly long breath after that without inhaling.

 

After a few minutes, he gets off the bed just as he told the other one to do so as well. The tall figure just got taller when he stood. He’s so tall but baby faced and Baekhyun finds it cute. With a few more inches, the other one’s head could already reach the ceiling.

 

The two of them went down without exchanging words. Both of them are too overwhelmed strangers to talk to each other. Baekhyun can’t just shove the other off since he already had him introduced as a friend so his grandfather won’t freak out. The moment he heard of it, he decided to deal with it all by himself. Honestly, he still feels frightened but when he saw the man unarmed, he felt relieved at least. If this man hid his weapons (if he has) somewhere, then Baekhyun has knives in their kitchen.

 

His sight met his grandfrather’s and he can see him preparing the table. He waited long, Baekhyun thinks.

 

 

Baekhyun pulls out a seat and lets the other sit on it, ready to leave him afterwards but his grandfather told him to join his friend in breakfast. When they’re finally sitting on the table beside each other. They will sometimes look at each other and exchange an almost non-existent smile attempting to break the ice, which both of them know isn’t easy.

 

They’re aware that his grandfather might’ve noticed them since he’s sitting in front of them.

 

“Did you know that it’s the first time Baekhyun has let someone sleep here? But it’s not like he has many friends. He’s not sociable I bet you know that. So how did the two of you meet? I’m sorry my grandson has never told me about you.” The grandson couldn’t help but sigh at what his grandfather said. He’s about to reply but the taller guy speaks.

 

“It was a year ago. I was playing—basketball—alone, at the park. Then he came over and asked me if he could join.”

 

“Ooh? Didn’t know my boy could play basketball.” His grandfather laughs.

 

 

The breakfast went well, though of course it was strange. After a few hours, like a half or two, the guy, who Baekhyun knew was Chanyeol, left.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[A/N: Hello hello!!! This is my first story and I'm still a noob >< please bear. This is just a short story, less than 5 chapters....I will love my readers (if ever there are some hehehe)  THank yooo!!! I actually wrote this for my bestfriend who is about to celebrate her birthday. Hepi bornday friend!]