Sungyeol is sure he’s dead. It’s the only logical explanation he can think of—the fact that he’s still capable of thought isn’t lost on him, though. He doesn’t feel anything; not his fingers or his toes or any part of his body. He can’t tell if his eyes are open or not, but everything is black. He doesn’t hear anything either. Not at first. The sound comes slowly and quietly, like he’s underwater or very far away. It starts as a mumbling, but becomes clearer when he strains to hear it. Someone’s talking to him. Or maybe just near him. It takes him a moment to place the voice; his mind is sluggish and his memories are hard to recount.

Sunggyu. Sunggyu is talking. He sounds tired, like he hasn’t slept or rested in days. “This is my fault,” he says. His voice sounds hoarse and Sungyeol wonders if he’s been yelling and if so, why. “It’s my fault.” Sungyeol wants to ask what Sunggyu is blaming himself for; he wants to know why he sounds so sad, so regretful. But he can’t seem to find his voice. When he struggles to move, to give any indication that he's heard Sunggyu, he starts to feel like he's falling. Sunggyu's voice fades away as Sungyeol is plunged back into nothingness.

Unlike the first time, he regains consciousness all at once. The sound of waves lapping hits him at the same time as the scent of saltwater and the feel of sand underneath his palms. He opens his eyes slowly, squinting at the sun shining into them. The sky is blue; a bright, clear blue that he doesn't know the name of, but he's sure must be the most beautiful color he's ever seen. This must be Heaven, he thinks. The thought doesn't send him into a panic like it probably should. He should be more worried about dying; he still has (had?) so much life ahead of him, things he wanted to do. But all he can think is that Heaven is not what he'd imagined it looking like.

"Are you just going to lay there all day?"

Sungyeol jumps at the new voice. He shoots up, looking around himself for the source. His eyes land on a man a few feet away. He's dressed in black jeans and a black t-shirt. There's no expression on his face as he looks Sungyeol over. Of course Sungyeol isn't the only one in Heaven. That wouldn't make sense.

"Are you an angel," he asks. The man's face is perfect enough for it.

A small smile cracks the otherwise serious look on the man's face. "You're not dead," he tries to assure Sungyeol before correcting himself. "Not yet anyway."

Sungyeol's eyes go wide. His heart and stomach both sink like stones. "Are you an angel of death?" The man (is he even human?) must be here to take his soul to the other side. Now the panic is starting to set in.

"What?" The man looks thoroughly confused. He takes a step closer to Sungyeol. "I'm not an angel."

"But—"

"I told you: you're not dead."

Sungyeol wants to argue. Most of the signs are pointing to death. But the man seems adamant in him believing otherwise. He stares down at Sungyeol, probably waiting for him to refute the claim. When Sungyeol only holds his gaze, the man moves to sit next to him. "I'm Myungsoo," he says in greeting as he holds out his hand.

"Sungyeol." They shake hands tentatively, at least on Sungyeol's part. He's filled with curiosity and questions. "What is this place," he asks, looking around. In front of them an endless ocean stretches out. The waves crash onto the shore before receding and then come crashing in again. It's a rhythm Sungyeol finds calming for his racing mind. He watches the waves moving as he listens to Myungsoo's answer.

"I'm not sure. It’s like a dream, but also reality. You can do whatever you want, be whatever you want. Everything looks and feels real, but it’s not. We're not dead, but we're not really alive either."

"How do you know we're not dead? How did we get here?"

"I don't know how it works," Myungsoo responds slowly. For someone who's not-quite-dead he seems strangely at peace. "This place is sort of somewhere in between being alive and dead. You can’t get seriously hurt; you don’t need to eat or sleep. It’s almost the same as being alive except… There’s something missing here. It’s hard to explain, but if you let yourself go to sleep you can go back to...back to your body, I guess."

Sungyeol takes a minute to digest the information. "So, you're saying this is all in my head and I'm lying unconscious in a hospital somewhere?" Myungsoo nods in answer. "And I can go back? I can...I can wake up?"

Myungsoo hesitates. He looks uncomfortable for the first time since they met. "Well, I've never gotten that far. I haven't woken up yet, but I've been awake in my head, if that makes sense. Like, I could hear the things happening around me. All of my senses were working, but I couldn't move; I couldn't even open my eyes." He looks down at the sand where he's drawing abstract shapes with his fingers.

What little hope Sungyeol had been holding onto dissipates like smoke from a blown-out candle. There's a good chance he'll never leave this place. If he dies will he even realize it? Or will he just continue existing in this dream world forever?

"Look, I didn't mean to crush your dreams or anything," Myungsoo apologizes. His hand hovers over Sungyeol's forearm like he's not sure if he's allowed to touch him. "You could still wake up."

"How are you so sure?" Sungyeol doesn't know why he's putting so much stock into the words of a complete stranger. There’s no reason Myungsoo has to tell him the truth and no reason he should believe him. It must be the sadness in the other man's eyes that makes Sungyeol sure he can trust Myungsoo. They're both in this together—whatever "this" is—and Sungyeol can feel it, in his bones or his heart or his gut, that they can help each other. They need each other. They just have to figure out in what ways.

Myungsoo shrugs, an odd smile playing on his lips. (Sungyeol's too distracted by the dimple that forms in one of the man's cheeks to wonder what the smile could mean.) "Anything can happen here."

Myungsoo has no idea how long he's been in this place. It could be anywhere between a couple months to years. He remembers the accident that brought him here, though. It's impossible to forget. He had been out walking in the woods—alone, because that was how he'd liked to spend his time. It was that time of spring when everything was green and full of life and the sun was warm. It only seemed right that Myungsoo capture it all on film. With his camera hanging off his shoulder and no trail to guide him, he was wandering aimlessly when he found an old quarry. The sun had been just starting to dip down in the sky, almost half of it covered by the trees. Myungsoo had climbed onto a large rock near the edge of the quarry to get a better look at the rocks below. As he focused his camera on the scene in front of him, his foot slipped on a patch of moss he hadn't noticed on the way up. He teetered back and forth for a moment, trying to regain his balance, before his legs failed him and he fell head first down into the stone pit. Sharp edged rocks sliced at his face and arms as he tumbled. With his camera pulled close to his chest to protect it, his back and shoulders felt most of the impact. He landed at the bottom in a heap with a sickening crack when the side of his head hit a rock jutting out from the ground.

A loud ringing in Myungsoo's ears replaced all other sound. Gasping for air, he stared up at the sky through blurry eyes. There was the coppery taste of blood in his mouth from when he'd bit his tongue during the fall. For a long while all he could do was lay there, every muscle and bone in his body screaming in pain. It had seemed like that was it for him; there was nothing he could do to save himself. He was going to die there. Alone, without anyone knowing where he was or what happened to him.

But then he heard it. Music. The sound bounced off the walls of the quarry, ironically bright considering Myungsoo's current situation. It took most of his energy to turn his head to find the source of the music. Just a few feet from him was his phone, the screen lit up from the incoming call, but it might as well have been miles away. Both the fall and the loss of blood had stolen most of his strength. Any sort of movement felt impossible. Myungsoo would have given up at that moment if the thought of his family not knowing what happened to him (or worse, finding out too late) hadn't entered his mind. The last thing he wanted was to cause his parents any pain.

It took an immense amount of effort for him to reach his arm out towards the phone. By then the music had stopped. The woods seemed silent without the noise despite the chirping birds and other sounds of nature. Even with his arm stretched out the phone was still too far away. The sharp rocks dug into his back as he inched closer. Just as his fingers grazed the edge of his phone, it started to ring again. Somehow that gave Myungsoo enough energy to get a good grip on the phone and pull it closer. It was a struggle to slide his finger across the cracked screen and then bring the phone as close to his ear as his aching arm could manage. His brother's confused voice greeted him on the other end. The static across the line from the weak cellular reception as well as a dizzy spell made it difficult for Myungsoo to fully understand his younger brother's words.

"H-he...help..." Having still not recovered his breath, his voice came out in a gasp. There was a heavy weight on his chest keeping him from getting air fully into his lungs. His brother went silent on the other end, his quiet laughter cutting off abruptly. Myungsoo couldn't hear what the other said next. His head was swimming. Sights, sounds, feelings; everything mixed together until he was sure he was about to pass out. But he couldn't do that yet. First he had to tell Moonsoo where he was. So he could find him. So he could save him. It took a couple tries before he was able to get the words out. His tongue was failing him along with nearly every other part of him.

The last thing Myungsoo remembers is his brother saying he would find him. And he must have because Myungsoo doesn't think he would be where he is now if Moonsoo hadn't found him. He owes his brother his life. If he can ever wake up.

"So, if this place is in both of our heads, how do you know I'm not just a figment of your imagination?" Sungyeol had been quiet during Myungsoo's recounting of his accident. Apparently that's what he'd gotten out of such a horrible experience. "Or that I'm not imagining you for that matter?"

Myungsoo stares at Sungyeol for a long moment. After their introductions, he had suggested they move to some place Sungyeol would feel more comfortable. He figured the other man would accept his current state more easily if he was in a familiar setting. Which is why they're sitting across from each other in a cozy little café. And because this is a strange place with strange rules, the typical sounds of a coffeehouse fill up the space around them despite the fact that they are the only two people around. There are even two half-empty cups of coffee on the table. (Not needing food doesn't mean they can't have anything if they want it.)

Sungyeol isn't as freaked out by any of this as Myungsoo had thought he would be. Or as any normal person should be. His eyes had grown wide with wonder as the beach around them had faded before his eyes, the sky and sand and ocean blending and melting together and then solidifying into the walls of the café he used to frequent as a stressed out college student. Myungsoo could sense the excitement building in Sungyeol even as he'd only let out a muted "oh" at the sudden change of scenery.

"That's a very detailed backstory your mind's created for me then," he finally answers Sungyeol. He doesn't plan on fighting the theory or insisting on his existence. Sungyeol can believe what he wants.

Sungyeol shrugs, picking up his lukewarm Americano. "I've been known to have a very active imagination," he throws back before taking a sip of his drink.

Myungsoo finds himself returning the smile Sungyeol sends his way. Albeit a more subdued one. "That explains why you thought I was an angel."

"You try waking up suddenly in a strange place and have some guy show up out of nowhere," Sungyeol says, his tone bordering on defensive. There seems to be a hint of a blush dusting the apples of his cheeks.

"I have. Just the waking up part, though," he clarifies. "It was only me before you came here."

That piques Sungyeol's interest. He leans closer to Myungsoo, resting his forearms on the table. "You were here by yourself all this time?" He sounds slightly amazed, like he can't believe someone could survive completely alone without anyone to talk to.

Myungsoo can understand the other man's surprise. Most people need to interact with another person to stay sane. And Myungsoo would include himself as one of those people. It's also incredibly lonely to be by yourself. But the thing about this world is that time is subjective here. While that's usually not a good thing, Myungsoo thinks it is in this case. There was a stifling loneliness that had settled over him and this place when he'd realized he was all alone. He didn't know when he would see another person again—if he would see another person again. But since Sungyeol's arrival it feels like Myungsoo's solitude was only a few hours ago. Days, if he was being generous. It hardly feels like he'd spent most of his time in this place by himself.

"It wasn't so bad," he tries to downplay the true extent of his isolation. The limitless possibilities of this world hadn't taken the sting out of the fact that he was alone. What good is having the world in the palm of his hands if he had no one to experience it?

Sungyeol doesn't look very convinced. And with good reason. "Well, now you don't have to be here by yourself." He states it with a nod of his head as if to say he won't be going anywhere. His eyes hold Myungsoo's, wide and sincere and deep enough that Myungsoo feels he could fall into them and never get out.

Wait... Myungsoo shakes the thought away. Now's not the time for that—whatever that is. He should be advising Sungyeol to focus on trying to wake up. Getting out of this place would be better than making friends. Instead Myungsoo finds himself holding out his hand to the other man.

Sungyeol stares at it for a confused moment. (Myungsoo can't blame him; he doesn't know what he's doing either.) A grin breaks out on Sungyeol's face as he reaches out to grab Myungsoo's hand. He shakes his hand like they've come to an agreement. To be friends as long as they're in this place? That Sungyeol will keep him company until one of them has to go? Whatever that agreement is, Myungsoo can't say that he's too concerned. He is, however, very concerned about the odd tingling he feels in his hand once Sungyeol lets it go. It's unlike anything he's felt before, in this world or the real one.
 

Sunggyu is by his side the next time Sungyeol regains consciousness. And he's not alone; Sungyeol's brother is there too.

"You don't have to stay here the whole time," Sungyeol hears Daeyeol saying from one side of his bed.

Sunggyu's answer comes from his other side. He sounds as tired as he'd sounded the first time Sungyeol had heard him. "I can't just leave him alone like this."

"He's not alone."

"I know. I know he's not, but I just—I have to take care of him. I have to be here for him." The tremor in Sunggyu's voice sends a chill down Sungyeol's spine. He's never heard his friend like this. He sounds so desperate, so broken. And close to tears. In all the time he's known Sunggyu, he's never seen him cry. Not after a breakup or during a sad part in a movie and Sungyeol's almost certain onions wouldn't make him tear up either. This is the most emotional Sunggyu has ever been in front of Sungyeol. And Sungyeol isn't even fully sure as to why.

Daeyeol's sigh is heavy. "And who's taking care of you," he counters. "You should go home. Bathe, eat, sleep, do something to distract yourself for a little bit. He'll still be here when you come back."

"That's the problem." The room goes silent except for the sound of Sungyeol's heart monitor and he can imagine the two of them staring at each other over his still frame. He's caught by surprise by a hand that suddenly covers his own. It's warm and soft and Sungyeol can easily tell it belongs to Sunggyu. "I keep thinking I'll leave and as soon as I do something'll happen to him. Or I'll go and come back and he'll still be the same. He'll still be like this." Sungyeol thinks his heart could break from how sad his friend sounds. This isn't a side of Sunggyu he ever expected to see (well, hear in this case) or one he even knew existed. And it's because of him; Sunggyu is so close to tears and probably making himself sick from worrying because Sungyeol is stuck in his own head with no idea how to get out.

Daeyeol sighs again. From the shuffling sound of shoes on the floor Sungyeol guesses he must be moving around the bed to Sunggyu's side. "Go home," he says gently, "Just for a little bit. You need to rest. You're no good to him if you end up in here too."

Sungyeol expects Sunggyu to argue. From what he gathers, his friend hasn't left his side since he got here. While he appreciates the show of loyalty he doesn't like knowing that Sunggyu's suffering because of it. But he senses there's more to it than that. There's more to it than Sunggyu being a good friend. So after Sunggyu leaves with his shoulders slumped from both exhaustion and defeat and Daeyeol starts talking to him (it's mainly trivial things that he wouldn't have mentioned if Sungyeol was able to contribute to the conversation), Sungyeol gets to thinking. He thinks about Sunggyu’s odd behavior and how he ended up in the hospital in the first place. And then he starts remembering.
 

They're at the beach again. It's a place Myungsoo had visited often to take pictures and just relax. He hasn't asked Sungyeol's opinion on their location, but the other man doesn't seem to mind. He's sprawled out on the sand in almost the exact same position Myungsoo had met him. Myungsoo's sitting next to him, observing his new companion. Sungyeol doesn't seem to mind that either. Probably because his eyes are closed. He hasn't changed out of the clothes he'd been wearing when he got hurt even though Myungsoo told him he could. A pair of dark wash jeans, a vintage-looking t-shirt, and worn sneakers. It suits him, Myungsoo concludes, the simple casual style. He looks like an easy, comfortable kind of guy.

"Do you stare this intensely at everyone or am I special?"

Oh. Myungsoo quickly averts his gaze, but avoids making any sounds that could be considered an admission. His friends always told him he had a staring problem. Oddly enough, it hadn't seemed like much of a problem to him up until now. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Sungyeol crack one eye open to look at him. Myungsoo hopes the sun is too bright for him to see the embarrassed flush coloring his entire face.

"So which is it," Sungyeol presses. He snorts softly when Myungsoo stays silent. "Fine, you don't have to answer that." Getting up to his elbows, he fixes both eyes on Myungsoo. "Tell me what you do instead."

"Here?"

Sungyeol rolls his eyes. "I know what you do here—nothing. I meant what did you do before, when you were, you know?"

"Alive," Myungsoo finishes for him. Sungyeol nods and sits up fully, crossing his legs as he turns to face Myungsoo. "I was an accountant."

Sungyeol's nose wrinkles at the answer. "Accounting? That sounds so boring."

Myungsoo laughs at the other's reaction. He's used to getting similar reactions. "It was kind of boring," he admits. "But I liked it. I like math." His smile turns bittersweet as he starts thinking about his job. Even though he'd only been working at the firm for just under a year, his boss had said he had shown promise. He did his work well and completed it on time. He was respectful to his superiors and well-liked by nearly everyone. (The exceptions were probably women he'd politely turned down at first and then had to be blunt with when they didn't get the hint.) He misses it; he misses walking into the building and greeting everyone and eating lunch with Minseok and Soojung and even the late nights and awkward company functions. He misses all of it.

"I don't know how anyone can like doing math all day long," Sungyeol is saying, bringing Myungsoo out of his thoughts. "That's not me at all."

Myungsoo takes that as his cue to turn the tables on the other man. "What about you? What did you like to do all day long?"

Sungyeol shrugs, his eyes falling down to the ground between them. "Nothing, really," he answers honestly. The good-natured smile is gone. Myungsoo doesn't say anything in the hopes that he'll elaborate on his own. It takes a moment of silence—except for the crashing of the waves—before Sungyeol does. "I'm not working right now," he says quietly. "I'm—I don't really know what I want to do with myself. So I've been doing nothing." His mouth quirks at the weak joke, but it's not a real smile. "That's probably why I ended up here."

Myungsoo furrows his brow, trying to find the connection. "What do you mean," he asks when his curiosity gets the best of him.

Sungyeol turns to look out at the ocean. "Well, long story short: I had a fight with my friend over it and after I stormed off I got hit by a car."

"You think you're being punished for not having your life figured out yet?" What Myungsoo really wants to ask is for the long story. He wants to know why Sungyeol fought with his friend and what led up to it. But he's not one to pry, especially when the other doesn't seem inclined to talk about it. Plus, they've really only just met; it's a bit early to exchange life stories.

The humor comes back to Sungyeol's voice as well as his face. "When you say it like that it sounds irrational," he says, leaning back on his hands as he peers at Myungsoo from over his shoulder.

"It is, isn't it? Even if you hadn't argued with your friend you could've still been hit by the car. You could've even had a full-time job and it still could've happened. The two aren't related at all."

An amused smile spreads across Sungyeol's face. He turns back to face Myungsoo, an excited twinkle in his eyes. "So you're an expert on karma too?"

Myungsoo tilts his head to the side in answer. He's smiling back at Sungyeol, equally entertained by their conversation. Maybe it's because he hasn't talked to anyone in so long that talking to Sungyeol feels so enjoyable and interesting. Or maybe it's just Sungyeol himself that interests him. "That's not karma," he says to chase away the errant thoughts. "That's just life. Or fate. If it's meant to happen, it'll happen."

"You're wise too. I should come to you for advice while I'm here."

Myungsoo brings his hand up to cover his mouth as he laughs. Sungyeol hasn't said anything funny, but the idea that Myungsoo has even the slightest grasp of life (especially in a place like this) is laughable enough. He tries not to read too much into the way Sungyeol looks at him as he laughs. Once his laughter subsides, he rises to his feet and dusts his pants off. "C'mon," he says, holding a hand out to help Sungyeol to his feet. The other man accepts it wordlessly. "As your mentor I should bestow my knowledge onto you."

Sungyeol raises an eyebrow. "When did we agree on that title?"

Looking down at where their hands are still connected, Myungsoo flounders for a second for an answer. "That's not important," he replies. "Where do you want to go first?"

With a shrug, Sungyeol gestures at their surroundings. "This is your world. You lead the way."

If Myungsoo smiles a bit wider after that, he doesn't think too much of it.

"You can't be serious."

"You said I could do whatever I want."

"I know, but this?"

"I can teach you if you don't know how."

"I know how to roller-skate," Myungsoo says defensively. His hands are holding onto the waist-high wall of the roller rink even as he glares at Sungyeol. Of all the places in the world they could be, Sungyeol had to bring them here.

Sungyeol skates over to him with a grin that shows off his gums. "The wall's not going anywhere," he teases. He pries Myungsoo's hands off of the wall (with some difficulty because Myungsoo's perfectly fine right here, thank you very much) and takes them into his own. "It'll be fun," he says reassuringly. He starts skating backwards with Myungsoo half-walking, half-skating in front of him.

"If I fall I'm taking you down with me," Myungsoo warns. His heart is pounding in his chest and he won't even bother pretending it's not because of something other than his feeling of impending embarrassment. He just hopes Sungyeol doesn't notice how clammy his hands are. Sungyeol's laugh makes Myungsoo's heart stutter in his chest.

"Don't worry, I won't let you fall." Sungyeol tightens his hold on Myungsoo's hands before letting go of one so they can skate side-by-side. Well, Sungyeol skates; for Myungsoo it's more like stumbling. "See, it's not that hard, right?"

Myungsoo scoffs. Obviously it's easy for him. "You couldn't think of any other interesting thing to do?"

"I've always wanted to go on a date in a roller rink. They looked like fun in the movies. Or bungee jumping. I've always wanted to try that too." Sungyeol wraps an arm around Myungsoo's waist when they make a turn and the other loses his balance. He holds Myungsoo close as they glide across the floor.

"You just like tempting fate, don’t you," Myungsoo asks, mainly to distract himself from how unnecessarily close they are at the moment. It doesn't really work. He's more aware of Sungyeol than before. More aware of the warmth of his bare skin under Myungsoo's fingers where he's gripping Sungyeol's arm like a lifeline. Of how dazzling his smile is when there are only inches separating their faces. Of how nice he knows Sungyeol's smells even though he's not bold enough to lean closer for fear of making things weird. He didn't know he could feel like this in here. That he could feel so excited—so alive—just being close to someone. It's not surprising considering it's only the two of them, but it is unexpected.

Becoming friends had been one thing. Sungyeol is easy to talk to with a personality and sense of humor that Myungsoo couldn't help liking off the bat. Developing feelings for Sungyeol is something else entirely. Something that he isn't sure it's worth wanting. If by some miracle Sungyeol feels the same way about Myungsoo, what happens after that? How can they be together in this place? And what if one of them leaves? (Myungsoo doesn't want to think about what "leaving" could mean.) Any way he looks at it, it just doesn't seem like it'll work out.

"I guess I'm a thrill seeker who hasn't learned his lesson." Sungyeol's voice brings Myungsoo back to the situation at hand. They've gone around the rink a couple times and there's an appropriate amount of space between them now. They're still holding hands, though.

Myungsoo doesn't want Sungyeol to know how much he's enjoying it, but it probably shows on his face anyway. He bites his lip to hide the smile threatening to break out on his face. Just being next to Sungyeol makes him so happy. Even if it's futile, he can't help it.

"What about you? What kind of date do you want to go on?" Sungyeol asks when Myungsoo gives him a confused look after the first question. He pulls Myungsoo over to a part of the wall so they can rest for a bit. His hand finally leaves Myungsoo's, but the intensity of his gaze makes up for the loss.

Myungsoo shrugs, looking away from Sungyeol. "It doesn't really matter now..."

"Of course it does."

Biting back the disagreement that automatically bubbles up, Myungsoo studies Sungyeol's face instead. The other seems serious, about his question and Myungsoo's answer. Myungsoo doesn't understand why it's so important to him. Unless Sungyeol is planning on doing something with the knowledge of Myungsoo's ideal date. But that's not possible; he doesn't like Myungsoo the same way Myungsoo likes him. At least a full minute has passed and Sungyeol is still waiting for his answer. "You'll probably think it's really cheesy," he warns, mostly stalling for time. Sungyeol only shakes his head slightly. With a sigh, Myungsoo continues. "I always thought it would be nice to go out at night to, like, the countryside or somewhere and just stargaze. Without all the light pollution the stars would be really clear and we could lay on a blanket and, you know, count the stars and stuff."

Myungsoo watches Sungyeol's face as he speaks. It's nothing exciting like the other's ideas, but Myungsoo had always thought that if he was with the person he loved, the where wasn't important. His friends used to call him a sap for thinking like that. He didn't mind it before, but the possibility of hearing it from Sungyeol fills him with dread. He doesn't want Sungyeol to think negatively of him in any way. While he hopes for a positive response, he's not prepared for the soft chuckle Sungyeol lets out. Or the warm look in his eyes as he slides a little closer to him.

"That's so romantic." Sungyeol moves even closer, leaving only inches between them. And stealing Myungsoo's breath away. "And so you." He says it with a fondness Myungsoo thinks he must be imagining. "I'll have try not to disappoint."

Muungsoo's eyes go wide, his hand tightening on the railing until his knuckles go white. His breath catches in his throat. "W-wha—are you—" The realization that Sungyeol might be asking him out—on a date to look at the stars, no less—is almost too much to handle.

Sungyeol smiles at Myungsoo's dumbfounded expression. He puts his finger under the other's chin and gently pushes up to close his mouth. (If Myungsoo wasn't currently speechless, he would say thank you.) "You know, you're not as mysterious as you think you are," he informs Myungsoo. "You're about as mysterious as a goldfish."

"What," Myungsoo croaks weakly. There are so many thoughts running through his head, too many, honestly. He's trying to process everything Sungyeol's just said, but his mind isn't moving at all.

"I know you like me."

"...Oh."

Sungyeol laughs and closes the short distance between them so that Myungsoo has to crane his neck to look up at him. He moves his hand to rest on the back of Myungsoo's neck. "I like you, too," he admits. The anxious look in his eyes is very unlike him. He his lips nervously, drawing Myungsoo's eyes down to them briefly. "Can I..." He pauses to gather his courage—or so Myungsoo assumes. "Can I kiss you," he asks softly.

The question's barely left his mouth before Myungsoo gives his answer. "Please." He's been fantasizing about this moment for days—weeks? Months? He doesn't know. What he does know is that Sungyeol is about to kiss him and he doesn't doubt the reality will live up to his fantasies.

Sungyeol's eyes search Myungsoo's face, probably checking that it really is okay. His hand moves up Myungsoo's neck until the tips of his fingers dip into the hair at his nape. The other hand settles on the shorter man's hip comfortably, the warmth of it seeping through Myungsoo's shirt and kicking his heart into high gear. Sungyeol brings his head down slowly and stops a few inches away from Myungsoo's lips. It's like even after confirming their feelings and Myungsoo giving him permission, Sungyeol isn't entirely convinced. So he's now waiting for Myungsoo to meet him the rest of the way, for literal and figurative confirmation.

Myungsoo is more than happy to oblige. He shifts forward slightly, lifting his heels off the floor to give himself some height. Except, that appears to be the wrong move as the wheels of his roller skates slide all too easily on the floor and neither his grip on the wall nor Sungyeol's hand on his hip are enough to anchor him. He tumbles forward and his forehead collides with Sungyeol's (solid) chin before his face meets Sungyeol's (also solid) chest, sending them both to the ground. He's in too much pain to be even a little happy to have Sungyeol lying beneath him.

Winded and groaning, Sungyeol manages a weak laugh. "You weren't kidding," he wheezes. He lets out a couple more chuckles that sound more like pained . "You really took me down with you." Myungsoo's laugh comes out a lot stronger than Sungyeol's. But that could be because he's not the one sprawled on the floor with a full grown person situated on top of him. "On the bright side, though, that’s one way to get me to fall for you."

Myungsoo picks his head up from Sungyeol's chest (it’s so firm—he must work out) to look at him. "I can't believe I still like you when you say stuff like that. There must be something wrong with me."

A date under the stars had seemed simple enough, but apparently Sungyeol was wrong. They're on a hillside Sungyeol remembers from summers spent with his grandparents out in the country. It's miles away from the bright lights that drown out the glow of the stars, offering a breathtaking view of the night sky. Sungyeol had expected Myungsoo to be ecstatic. He's delivering on his promise to take the other stargazing and yet Myungsoo seems far from thrilled. He hasn't said anything since Sungyeol let him uncover his eyes.

"You don't like it. Did I forget something? Is it not how you imagined it," Sungyeol asks, searching Myungsoo's face for the answer. It's hard with only the moon and stars for light.

Myungsoo's hand finds his in the dark and squeezes. "I do like it," he insists. "This is perfect. Really."

Even without seeing his face clearly, Sungyeol can tell that's not how Myungsoo really feels. There's probably a part of him that truly is happy to be here with Sungyeol. He's mentioned a couple times that just having Sungyeol next to him is enough to make him happy. But all Sungyeol can hear in Myungsoo's voice is sadness. And he can't imagine why. Myungsoo had been fine leading up to Sungyeol's surprise, smiling and joking and making Sungyeol fall even more head over heels. He could hardly contain his excitement when Sungyeol had him cover his eyes. And then the big reveal came and Myungsoo had gone silent.

"Are you sure?" Sungyeol isn't at all convinced that everything is okay. He wants Myungsoo to tell him the truth, but he doesn't want to force it out of him.

Myungsoo hums a yes, pulling Sungyeol's hand into his lap. "Where are we, anyway? I don't think I've ever been to a place like this before." The sudden change in subject obviously means he doesn't want to admit whatever it is that's bothering him.

Sungyeol makes out Myungsoo's head tilted up to look at the sky. The thought of reaching out to turn Myungsoo's head to face him and demanding the truth occurs to him. He hates feeling like Myungsoo doesn't trust him enough to be honest with him. He'd thought they were past that. In the end, Sungyeol answers Myungsoo's question. He tells the other about his grandparents’ home which eventually leads to him recounting several of his childhood adventures in the country with his brother. Myungsoo smiles and laughs and even shares a few memories of his own. He seems happy enough that Sungyeol almost forgets he had been worried about him. The reminder comes when they're out of words and lying on their backs on the grass. Their hands are still linked between them. Sungyeol stares up at the sky, marveling at the vastness of the universe even when it's all in his head—or their heads, however it goes. He can feel Myungsoo's eyes on him.

"You're flattering me." Sungyeol rolls his head to the side to meet Myungsoo's gaze.

Unlike the first time, the younger man isn’t embarrassed to be caught staring. "I can look at the stars anytime," he says dismissively.

Sungyeol turns onto his side, shortening the distance between the two of them. He leans down to briefly connect their lips. When he pulls back, the light of the moon illuminates Myungsoo’s face, showing the same sadness in his eyes that Sungyeol had heard in his voice. "Do I still have to pretend you’re okay?"

"I am okay."

"No, you’re not," Sungyeol shoots back. He sits up with a frustrated huff, facing away from Myungsoo. "I don’t know if you’re disappointed with the date and you don’t want to make me feel bad. Or maybe there’s something else bothering you that you don’t want to talk to me about. I mean, maybe it’s me. Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me and I’m just not getting it?"

Myungsoo turns Sungyeol’s head to get their eyes to meet. The corners of his eyes glisten with unshed tears. "It’s not you." His voice shakes at the end. Heaving a sigh, he rests his forehead against Sungyeol’s. He stays like that for almost a full minute as he takes deep breaths and blinks back his tears. "You’re perfect," he says softly. "I could never be upset with you. You haven’t done anything wrong. Ever. This date is everything I imagined and more. Especially because it’s with you. I feel so lucky to have met you even if it’s in a place like this."

"Then what’s wrong?" Sungyeol wraps his arms around Myungsoo as the other buries his face in the crook of his neck. He knows they probably haven’t known each other for very long (or maybe they have; it’s hard to tell), but he feels like there’s something between them, something deeper and more meaningful than any other relationship he’s had before. It could be a shared bond from them both (hopefully) recovering from their injuries in the same space. That definitely explains their friendship. Sungyeol isn’t so sure it can explain their feelings for each other. Either way, though, being with Myungsoo has made him happier than he’s felt in months. "Tell me so I can help you," Sungyeol pleads, tightening his hold on the other man.

Myungsoo lets out a sniffle, but doesn't move his head from Sungyeol's shoulder. "You can't... You can't help me. Not with this." He sniffles again and Sungyeol feels the stinging behind his eyes warning him of his own tears clawing their way out. He doesn't say anything, though, only buries his nose in Myungsoo's hair. His tears drop onto the strands as he breathes in the other's familiar scent. "You can't help because you're leaving," Myungsoo finally reveals in a choked whisper.

Sungyeol doesn't think about how rough he's being as he lifts Myungsoo's head. "I'm not going anywhere," he states. His words are as firm as his hands holding Myungsoo’s face. In the beginning leaving had meant waking up, being alive and well, but now it means being without Myungsoo. Sungyeol knows it's selfish and unreasonable to want to stay with someone he could very well be imagining. (He's heard his parents and brother and even Sunggyu praying and begging for him to wake up.) But as illogical and overly dramatic as it sounds, he doesn't think he could live without Myungsoo. He means too much to him to let him go so easily. His fingers run down the tracks of tears on Myungsoo's face, wiping them away.

"It doesn't matter." Myungsoo pulls Sungyeol's hands off of his face. "Your time is up."

Sungyeol swipes at his own damp cheeks. He wants to stamp his foot like a child and whine that it's not fair. "How are you so sure," he asks instead. Myungsoo seems to know more about Sungyeol's condition than Sungyeol himself. "And where am I going?" He doesn't think he's dying; he's sure he would feel differently if he was.

Myungsoo shakes his head, looking down at the ground. "I don’t know how I know; I can just tell. It’s time for you to wake up."

"I don’t want to."

"I don’t want you to either," Myungsoo admits with a sad smile. "It’s selfish of me to want to keep you to myself when you have more important people that need you."

"And what about you? What’s going to happen to you?" Sungyeol doesn’t want to think about Myungsoo being all alone again. Myungsoo only shrugs. "You have to wake up too," Sungyeol tells him desperately. Fresh tears spring to his eyes at the thought of never seeing Myungsoo again. "I don’t want to leave you here by yourself. You have to wake up so we can be together, okay?"

Myungsoo nods, moving to hold Sungyeol tightly in his arms as if he might disappear at any moment. "But how are we supposed to find each other out there," he sighs against the other’s shoulder.

Sungyeol hadn’t given that a lot of thought before, but he doesn’t think it’ll be too hard. There’s a good chance they’re in the same hospital and considering their conditions, it’s likely that they’re on the same floor too. Even if Myungsoo is on the other side of the country, Sungyeol won’t stop searching for him until he finds him. "I’ll find you," he promises, to both Myungsoo and himself. "No matter what, I’ll find you."