Luhan forced himself to shower, fix the house, and prepare some dishes, because he knew how stubborn Sehun was. Indeed, at Lunch break, knocks were heard and Luhan opened the door on a smiling Sehun. “I brought salads and fruit. I got also some cooked meat from a nearby store, and rice cakes.” Sehun said as he got in. “I told the ajumma that you were sick and that you vomit easily so she gave me this.”

“You saw me vomiting?” Luhan’s voice was small but filled with horror.

Sehun noticed his discomfort, as he put everything down in the table, so he lied. “No, my friends told me when they took you to the nursery once.” Of course it was him. He felt so guilty when the man fainted that it ate him up for the next day. “Come eat. That was the past.”

Luhan sat down and ate silently while Sehun did the same observing him. “Do you speak Chinese?”  the question surprised Sehun who looked away.

“I majored it in high school and I am majoring in Chinese literature in the university.” Sehun admitted making Luhan look up. “This is how I managed to recognize your accent. My friends swore you were from Jeolado.” Sehun chuckled. “I made a bet about it so once they know I was right, I’ll make them pay hard.”

Luhan chuckled bitterly before pausing. “Don’t lose your friends.” Sehun blinked but he smiled reassuringly.

“They are fine now. I told them how I feel and they understood.” Luhan looked at Sehun, confusion written in his face. “I want to be your friend. I would love to be your friend.” Sehun sighed looking away. “God, I wish I could pull you to my friend’s circle but I know inside me that they will annoy the out of you.” Sehun looked back to Luhan who seemed frightened suddenly. “I didn’t want to push you on befriending my weird friends.”

Luhan looked down to his food and forced everything in his throat. He barely chewed and Sehun noticed that Luhan was shaken but he knew he needed time to force it out of Luhan’s lips. The Lunch break ended and Sehun stood to leave. “I’ll bring you something for your dinner, at the end of the day. Don’t leave your bed. Ok?”

“Don’t bother. I don’t take dinner.” Luhan said with a small tone while Sehun held his hand, making him freeze.

“Please eat as many meals as you can. You are killing yourself like this.” Luhan didn’t react but once Sehun was out of his side, he chuckled bitterly. He chuckled long enough to end up crying in his bed.

Sehun showed up in dinner and Luhan opened the door with a weak smile. “Here dinner. Soup and fruits.” Sehun put down the bags and looked up to Luhan who seemed out of it. “I guess I’ll get going now.”

“I have AIDS.” Luhan said suddenly. “This is why I am alone.” Sehun froze and looked at Luhan, with horror written in his face. “I got pranked by some idiots in a cinema’s theatre and sat on a needle last year.” Luhan’s body shook. “If I didn’t donate blood after that day, god only knows how many I would have infected. Please, Sehun… don’t get near me anymore. Stay safe and away from me.”

Sehun paused there, frozen to the core; he didn’t know what to think. He went to sit, before sensing himself panicking. “God…” Luhan walked back to his bed and slept in, shedding tears, while Sehun sat there, unable to swallow the news. He indeed left but much later. Luhan cried himself to sleep, as his fever worsened and he felt like dying.

Sehun returned surprisingly few hours after that. Around Midnight, he knew he won’t feel at ease as he paced for hours around his room. He ended up heading back to Luhan’s dorm. The door was shockingly still as unlocked as he left it, and he was glad Luhan was still safe… except from his raising fever.

“Luhan? Luhan!” Luhan blinked tiredly. “I’ll take you to a hospital, ok? You can’t stay like this.” Luhan shook his head and pushed himself up.  Sehun tried to push him back.

“Don’t risk people’s lives like this.” The words left his lips so heavily it made Sehun’s eyes get filled with tears. “Just keep me close. Ok? I’ll be fine.”

Sehun hugged him in a rush, burying Luhan in his tight embrace. “At least let me bring medicines, or something to calm the fever.” Luhan shook his head and Sehun was exasperated at how unwilling Luhan was. “Luhan! Please…”

“Thank you.” Luhan mumbled weakly. “Thank you for according me some of your time.” Sehun rested his head on Luhan’s, holding tears. “Thank you for acknowledging me.”

“Luhan, please… don’t give up now.” Sehun pleaded, unable to hold his broken tone. “I just got you in my life.” Luhan chuckled and nuzzled Sehun as he closed his eyes. Sehun tried to sleep at it but Luhan was too hot and he kept hallucinating for a while. He couldn’t stay still. He tried to find a helping hand, somewhere in the internet. He tried to know if he could save Luhan somehow.

He tried to call centers but the numbers kept calling with no answers. “Sehun…” Luhan called suddenly and Sehun looked down to find Luhan opening his eyes. “I’ve waited this moment for so long.” Sehun leaned to rest his hand on Luhan’s, noticing how burning it was. “I waited my death with patience, but when it came… You are here.”

“Luhan…” Sehun smiled. “You are not going to die.”

“I refused friends, I deserted my family, ran away from my home land, to not end up like this.” Luhan was struggling to breathe suddenly. “I wanted to die alone… Sehun… Don’t see me like this.”

“No.” Sehun shook his head. “I will stay by your side until the end. Luhan…” Sehun kissed Luhan’s lost eyes. “I love you.” It seemed bringing Luhan’s color back to his face.

“I love you too, Sehun.” Luhan tried to sit up and Sehun picked him up, helping him to sit. “I’m sorry for doing this to you. I should have pushed you.”

"I'm glad you didn't” Sehun forced his smile, as he shed tears he couldn’t hold. “Luhan…”

“Live.” Sehun paused as he noticed Luhan looking right at his eyes. “Live. Oh Sehun, live.” He held Luhan’s hand and nodded, as he cried in Luhan’s chest, knowing that Luhan’s body was giving in. “I am thankful I managed to live enough to meet you, Oh Sehun.”

“Won’t you fight for me? A little more?” Luhan shook his head, as he winced.

“This burden is heavy for you to bear, and I have to keep you safe.” Luhan’s body was shaking a little as Sehun got him in his arms but at that moment it shook wildly. “Sehun…”

“Luhan? Luhan! Please! Luhan!” Luhan’s words were frenetically shaken rumbles of “Live”, “Se”, “light” until it gave in and froze there. Sehun froze as well, observing the wide open eyes filled with lifelessness and fear. “Luhan? Answer me, Luhan. Luhan?” Sehun shook Luhan as hard as he could before crying out loud which earned him bangs in the door.

His death was known by the university by the end of the day, and Sehun’s absence didn’t surprise his friends at all. They all went to the hospital where Luhan’s body was while knowing that Sehun will be there.

The man was lifeless but as soon as they hugged him, he cried so loud and so hard it did break their hearts. They tried to bring him back to his normal state but they knew the old Sehun died with Luhan. “Sehun… You can’t kill yourself like this.” Kyungsoo hissed, as he pushed Sehun to revise. “The exams are in a week from now, and you didn’t touch your books yet.” Jongin nodded at that, frowning.

“Do you think Luhan would have liked it if he knew what you are doing to yourself now?” it earned him a glare from Sehun and a slap in the arm from Kyungsoo. “Ouch! I said the truth!” Sehun sighed deeply.

“He’s right… Luhan asked me to live but…” Sehun’s eyes got filled with tears. “He didn’t deserve to die this soon and in such huge pain.” He didn’t tell them of course. To accept his tendencies took him a while after Luhan’s death, but he knew he wasn’t much into girls since the mere beginning. “He told me to live… but I feel so dead inside.”

“It’s his fate, Sehun.” Jong Dae spoke suddenly. “It was his time to die, sick or not.” The man left his books to surround Sehun’s neck, resting his head on Sehun’s. “Live the way he wished he could live now.” Sehun hugged Jong Dae back, shaken withheld sobs. “I know it hurts to see a friend dying but you have to move on since he wanted you to.”

Sehun nodded but said nothing. He buried himself in the books and tried his best. Luhan was soon a memory in the people’s mind, but Sehun felt like Luhan was everywhere.

It killed him but somehow, every time he sit in Luhan’s hideouts, he keep hearing Luhan say “Live. Oh Sehun, Live.”

He didn’t know what it meant at first, but getting his first boyfriend gave it a whole meaning. Luhan wanted him to live without restraints, chains, or regrets. To take life fully, the way Tao did. The kid was adventurous and he pushed Sehun into crazy situations that caused Sehun to be mad at some, and to laugh at others.

He lived while every day the image of Luhan showed up in his mind and he wondered why the man smiled. Was he living right? Was he doing what Luhan asked him to do?

Was he living?

"Live" was worth millions words, Luhan... millions...