Luhan carried a heavy burden in his heart, a secret he tried to forget and live without, but failed miserably as he ran away from everything that counted to him. As he got in his new university, in a different country, he knew he was playing a dangerous game. So, His glare became heavy, and his steps were even heavier as he avoided people.  He truly thought it was enough but stupid people pop from time to time for ruin his already ruined mood.

“You are cute.” He stiffened, looking back to a man standing behind him. “What?” The man smirked until Luhan kicked him in the side, sending him off to the lockers. The man doubled in pain, as his friends surrounded him.

“Say that one more time, and I’ll kill you.” His accent was heavy so he blushed, as he lifted his chin up. He walked away when a hand made him look back and he got a punch in the stomach that he took without much word; he looked at the tall faced man, who punched him, right in the eyes before walking away with a smirk.

“The is wrong with that man!” He could hear them yelling. “!” He got in his class, and sat down, allowing himself to wince in pain as he was still alone in the class. He rested his head on the table, clenching his arms around his stomach, and tried to breathe.

The day was eventless after that and Luhan managed to live his day despite the growing pain.  However, as he reached the night time, he felt it kicking in harder. “ I skipped Lunch for you to stop hurting. What do you need more?” He rushed to the toilets, and freshened himself. He breathed loudly enough to make people look at him weirdly.

Suddenly he was offered a chocolate bar, left behind by a man who smiled to him. “Skipping meals always cause such pain. Take this, it will help.” Luhan wished he could be rude but he felt so in pain that he attacked the bar, while the man left him behind. He was thankful the man wasn’t there to see him vomiting what he kindly offered.

“…” He vomited everything, even the water he forced himself to drink. He could hear the restroom door open but he was too in pain to notice anything. He tried to breathe; he truly did but ended up fainting in the spot.

When he woke up in the nursery, noticing the day light made him groan in frustration. The place was surprisingly empty so he took his stuff and rushed to find the nurse who gave him excuse for his absence. He went directly after that to the classroom.

He tried to live that day normally, to forget he was weak in front of god knows how many people, but he could feel eyes on him and his insides twisted at it. At the lunch break, he bought his food and sat in a very shadowed and isolated spot. He thought he was finally alone and at peace when he heard people talking from above.

“Yah, don’t ignore me like this Oh Sehun.” The familiar voice made Luhan clench on his food. “It was you who punched him in the stomach, not I.”

“I did it because you are stupid.” The quiet voice was surprisingly matching the image stuck in Luhan’s head. “If you didn’t talk to him, he won’t kick you and I won’t have to kick him back.”

“You didn’t have to kick him back.” The other man said with a scoff. “And what is wrong on being honest with someone. I saw he was cute and I told him so.” Luhan’s food stuck in his throat, and he swallowed it. “I didn’t think he considered it as an insult.” Luhan packed the food, as he was fed up with what he heard and he walked away, surprising the two men.

He made it midway to the cafeteria when a hand held his shoulder. He looked back, with a dead expression. “What?” The man kept his stoic face on, despite the clear confusion he had for a moment. Luhan nearly walked away as Oh Sehun didn’t speak up.

“I’m sorry for my kick.” Luhan paused, looking at Sehun for a moment then scoffed.

“I didn’t fall sick because of the kick. Don’t think too high of yourself.” He walked away, with a smirk on, while Sehun nearly pulled him to kick him in the guts but held himself enough to regain his spot between his friends.

“So, how did it go?” Sehun didn’t answer Kyungsoo, one of his best friends, huffing in annoyance. “As I thought.” Kyungsoo sighed as he said so, sitting by his friend. “I told you he is an .” Jongin sat by Sehun’s other side, and hugged him.

“Don’t be so mad. Ok, sehunnie?” Sehun pushed them away and walked away. He was walking aimlessly when he noticed Luhan, sitting in a corner and eating. The sight of the man alone made him pause and look. Luhan didn’t seem fond of loneliness, but in the same time seemed as he seeked for it.

He walked closer and sat opposite of Luhan who looked at him, silently. Sehun picked a chocolate bar and munched it silently while it took Luhan few minutes to eat again. They were sitting close but each one of them seemed in a different world.

“You aren’t Korean.” Sehun spoke as he noticed Luhan packing the rest of the food. “I can get that from your accent.” Luhan looked at him expressionlessly. “You are lucky to have no one around you. It’s peaceful to be alone.” Luhan didn’t answer, sitting there and looking away.

“Where can I get that chocolate bar?” Luhan’s voice was void of emotion and Sehun pointed ahead. Luhan stood to find a vending machine right where Sehun pointed. He paused there, between the urge to be rude and the wish to thank someone properly when Sehun stood as well and walked ahead.

“You are welcome.” Sehun said loudly enough for both of them and Luhan nodded, only smiling at Sehun’s manners when the man was away. He bought the chocolate bars and went to his class. Sehun found Luhan in the next Lunch break, sitting alone again, and he sat by his side. They didn’t say anything, not even a single word, and Luhan seemed appreciating it. They parted with no word, only to meet up again at Lunch break, over and over.

Sehun probably spent more time in Lunch break with Luhan than with anyone in particular. “Do you know a good place to eat Chinese? I am carving them suddenly.” Luhan shook his head and Sehun sighed in frustration, going through his phone. “Just my luck.” Sehun sighed and closed his eyes when he felt a poke in his arm. He opened his eyes to notice Luhan offering him a box.

“It’s a Chinese dish.”  Luhan offered and Sehun smiled as he shook his head.

“No, you barely eat anything. Eat it; I’m fine.” Luhan stepped back, looking flustered and grumpy. Sehun beamed at it and he didn’t know why he smiled widely about it. “If you eat it, it is like I ate as well.”

Luhan blushed madly as he stuffed his mouth with it. He avoided Sehun’s eyes as he ate the whole box’s content. They parted away; while Luhan felt grumpy and mad that Sehun refused his handmade dish. The next day he met with Sehun with no food. Sehun noticed so but didn’t make any kind of remarks, as he seemed tired and closed his eyes as soon as he and Luhan sat in an isolated spot. “Are you ok?” Luhan cursed himself for asking but Sehun shook his head and Luhan blinked at him confusedly.

“I fought with my best friends.” Sehun opened his eyes. “They scolded me for giving up on them at Lunch break.” Luhan’s expression darkened, as he pushed himself away from Sehun’s side. “But I didn’t tell them why I’m here.”

“And why are you here?”  Luhan growled, as his stomach claimed food.

“I love your company.” It made an astonished Luhan look at Sehun who stood and offered his hand. “Come, I’ll threat you for lunch.” Luhan didn’t answer and Sehun leaned to hold his hand, pulling him. “Let us eat Chinese.”

Luhan didn’t say a word, as Sehun took him to a table and ushered his friend to follow him to a Chinese restaurant. Nobody told him why Luhan was pulled by him, nobody spoke to Luhan, and nobody dared to look at him. Luhan ate in silence, while Sehun sat by his side, ignoring the loud discussion going on. “You see now? They are so loud.” Luhan looked at Sehun. “I prefer living in the silence by your side than to be in such loud company.”

“You don’t know what you are saying.” Luhan hissed, standing up and left to the keeper who held him and invited him to sit. His voice rose, and the woman was shocked as he bowed and ran out. Sehun as the others watched with blown mind.

“The is wrong with this man seriously?” Kyungsoo said as he looked over an utterly shocked Sehun. “What did you say?”

“Nothing worth this reaction.” Sehun ran out too, not finding Luhan outside, and he sighed loudly. “Where are you, Luhan? Seriously…” He returned to his spot by his friends’ side and he was glad nobody spoke about Luhan.

The man didn’t show up in Lunch break, in their usual spots, so Sehun worried. He was dead worry and it did hurt him that Luhan didn’t explain much of what he meant. Maybe Chinese people take things differently. He looked for the man the whole day, giving up as the university was big and had many departments. It will take him time to spot Luhan in his classroom.

“Why don’t you check the nursery?” Kyungsoo asked him suddenly, as they headed out of their classroom. “The nurse must know where he is studying since she gave him the excuse note.” Sehun nodded and they headed to the nursery, finding Luhan there, sleeping.

The nurse noticed them standing by Luhan’s side, as they were too shocked to notice her. “Friends of Mr. Xi?” Sehun nodded while Kyungsoo shook his head.

“Why is he here?” Sehun’s voice cracked and Kyungsoo looked up to observe his shaken friend.

The nurse checked on Luhan’s forehead. “He suffered fever since yesterday.” The news was surprising because Luhan seemed fine before leaving them. “He was led here by his classmates as he fainted in class.” Sehun leaned to rest his hand on Luhan’s forehead, and he noticed how warm it was.

“He is still having fever?” The nurse nodded. “Isn’t it suitable to send him to a hospital?”

The nurse sighed. “He has no insurance outside this university.” The woman said with a sad smile. “I’m doing my best but if it continues, I’ll send him to the hospital.”

Sehun wanted to object but Kyungsoo spoke. “Please do. Can you not tell him we visited? I am sure he will hate worrying us, and it will stress him out.” Kyungsoo smiled sweetly. “Stress is not good for him now, right?” the nurse nodded, agreeing on hiding their visit from Luhan. They left the nursery and Kyungsoo sighed in relief. “At least he is somewhere safe.”

“At least.” Sehun mumbled sadly as he went back home. In the morning, he planned on crushing on Luhan in the nursery but when he got in, Luhan wasn’t there. “He left?” The nurse wasn’t there yet, so he hoped it didn’t mean he was in the hospital.  He sat in the nursery, hoping the nurse will show up before class.

“Oh.” The woman got in. “Where did your friend go?” Sehun paled at her question and she laughed. “Don’t worry, I sent him to his dorm room yesterday night, with an excuse paper.” She kept laughing while he sighed in relief, nearly glaring at her. “Your expression is priceless.” 

“Do you know where he lives?” The question made her hold her laughs.

“I thought he was your friends.” Sehun sighed deeply.

“He refuses to give in; we don’t even know his name.” Sehun admitted, as he felt like exploding from much frustration that built up in his heart. “I told him I like his company and he threw a fit before leaving us behind. This is the last time we saw him before finding him in the nursery.”

“I see.” The nurse said before sitting in her desk absently. “I can understand why he shows up alone most of the time.” Sehun wanted to ask about how many times that kid showed up in the nursery but he wanted to see Luhan. “He is the university dormitory. Room B4” the information made Sehun run outside the university to the old dormitory. Rare are people using it, mostly foreigners do, and it didn’t surprise Sehun that the man lived there.

“I wonder why I didn’t think of it sooner.” He reached the door and hesitantly knocked. He kept knocking for a while when tired footsteps were heard and the man showed up. He was shocked to see him at first but soon kept a stoic emotionless face. “I’m sorry for upsetting you… yesterday.”

“ off. I don’t want to see you anymore.” The man tried to close the door but Sehun struggled. “Oh Sehun, I’m not up for your game, so off.” Sehun pouted to the man.

“Isn’t it unfair you know my name while I don’t know yours?” The man paused and looked away, looking tired. “Can we sit?  I am sure you are not in the position of fighting me.” The man paused. “Look, I just want to check on you. Nothing more.”

“ off, Sehun.” Luhan’s tired tone made Sehun’s expression fall. “I am truly not ready to argue or talk.” Sehun nodded as he stepped back for the man to close the door. “And my name is Luhan.” The word left Luhan’s lips before he could control it more.

“The deer of dawn… nice name.” He heard Sehun say behind the door, and blushed as the man said so. “I’m heading to class now. I’ll bring you some food at lunch break, ok? I know you aren’t in the shape for going out and eating, so I’ll bring you some healthy food.” Luhan let out a frustrated groan but he knew that Sehun had left the perimeter.

It was only when he laid back in bed that he realized that Sehun said his name’s meaning in Korean