We were in the middle of a fight that didn't even need words to let the other know we were upset well that was before Kai muttered something I caught

"You and your demands" 

I scoffed and pushed his shoulder to make him face sideways; to show him the raging inferno in my eyes. 

"Demands? Kai do you know how many times I've told you that I'm trying to collect information on who is hunting us down. We're stronger than most of those downworlders, It wouldn't hurt to pack a punch to whoever is chasing us." 

His eyes now a mirror of my own, didn't make me cower an inch as I held my defiance. "Why do you think people made the saying 'Ignorance is bliss’? It's like your searching for death." I couldn't help but soften at my brother's overbearing worry over me "I would choose to die if they'd spare you, I don't see the bad in that." He yanked me to a hug as he hissed, "You won't die in anyone's hands but God's." I laughed bitterly "If I had left it to him don't you think he would've answered my prayers by now?" 

He pulled apart and gripped at my arms, hard enough to crush anyone's bones but mine. He was a male but never did he won against me in any spar we had nor any violent fights and tricks we'd pull "You won't die on me!" I heard his thoughts loud and clear; don't abandon me. I don't want to be alone. Without you I - 

"Don’t see what I should live for." I finished for him. He looked at me wistfully and with remorse "If you read my thoughts I didn't mean that they did-" I glared at him and got off his grip as I watched him search for a trace of anything but disdain in my eyes "They did left us." With that the strain between us grew and he didn't attempt venting anymore. He knew fully well I attained whatever he wanted to tell me without saying it. None of his thoughts helped the situation, but it calmed me to know that he didn't share the feelings I felt after that one sentence slipped off my lips. 

I regret saying that after lying to him all this time. 

I figured I couldn't trick myself into thinking otherwise anymore. 

I fully believed that the temporary solace I had received in that small frame of time was nothing but means to gain me and my brother. 

And once those wretched humans found out we weren't tamable, the abandoned us. 

I believed them not killing us was a sign that deep down they did hold us dear not as lab rats, but my heart had grew cold and my mind now was lucid. As coherent as it is from the past years, Kai had argued that I was becoming exactly what they want but I argued that I was simply growing up; taking a step into adulthood. Was it wrong to become this emotionless? If my brother were to die or to turn from me, would my brain blame him instead of me? Had my heart gone forbidding of any self-blame in order for me to keep the last bits of sanity? 

I kept it from Kai that the late-night walks I took weren't simply out of boredom but as a way to vent. A flash of memories swept over me as I took my first late-night walks. The flashback all so real and my heart pounding the way it did that night. 

My hands were crimson while my lips had curved upwards outside of my own volition the sea of corpses in front of me had given a weird sense of tranquility. I felt more composed than I ever was as if my life was now my own, my brother had never crossed my mind that night. Then the night went by selectively as if someone was pulling the covers down on my memories. It continued with me bolting down a narrow alleyway with someone's pleads ringing in the air and my voice sounding giddy as I taunted that person, then switching to me down on my knees bawling my eyes off and then the last was the most vivid. A man in black with a dagger right in front of my eyes, his face was a complete blur but his husky voice captivated me and stayed prominent in my memories ever since. 

"Runaway with me," a slight pause before he chuckled "My Junghee." 

Now, that voice just sends shivers down my spine as if the realization had just dawned me that he was meant to be feared not to be admired - it wasn’t a situation where I could've even felt serene and develop a crush on this man anyways. I mean, he had a knife up to my eyeballs but I am insane; it's plausible. 

I felt the same chill crawling in my skin when I imagined his voice just by my ear but this time with a different sentence “When are you coming back to me?” I found myself replying dumbly “I will?” His deep voice had me purring in my mind as he chuckled darkly in my ears – or mind since there wasn’t a man next to me –

“JUNGHEE GET AWAY FROM HIM!” Kai’s shout pierced the air right before my head kissed the ground and the world went black.