ONCE

'C'mon just once'

'Hanbin, I said no, go back inside. I will be back in 5'

Hanbin whined and instead of doing what his hyung said he stayed to look at him. A common view for him, watching jinhwan puffing the smoke at the night sky. He was so curious, about how does it feels like, if Jinhwan does it then its something good, right?. 

At first Jinhwan smoked in secret, and didn't want to anyone to see him. Everyone in the group already knew but he thought if they didn't look at him, they would not follow his example. He still thought the same but he couldn't fight back everytime someone wanted to accompany him, mostly of the times, Hanbin.

'Why I cant try it too?'

'Hanbin we already had this conversation, dont start again with the same.'

This is when it was very obvious who was older, outside the practice room, at the rooftop, when Hanbin looked at Jinhwan smoking and begged for it. 

'I don't know why you always stay here, is bad for you to be close to someone smoking' The older taps the cigarette and the ash falls on the floor.

Hanbin looked away, he thought the same, why? Maybe because it was very hypnotic, the action of Jinhwan lips closing, him inhaling and then exhaling, the smoke escaping through his nose, him his lips and repeating all again. 

Maybe because it was Jinhwan. If someone else asked him to go outside to see them smoking he would totally say no, "I have more important things to do" he would say. But this was different, Jinhwan have never asked for his company, he always sneaked away, and he follows him. He still couldn't figure out why he liked watching the other doing it, it was entertaining, beautiful and peaceful for him. He stared at the cigar in his hyung's tiny hand, it looked out of place but at the same time it fitted him, his fingers looked longer than usual with it. His hand rested in a cool way, elegant and delicated. The tip of the cigarette going red every time the wind blowed or when Jinhwan took a drag. Jinhwan always blew the smoke far from him, at the opposite side, and Hanbin usually moves his head to look at it, to look how it scaped from his lips in a straight flow.

'Its hypocrite of you to try to not make me smoke when you do it' 

'Hanbin' He only said, in a stern low voice, he wasn't in the mood for this.

Jinhwan has been smoking for a year, maybe a little more and this conversation was always present. Hanbin sighed. Almost done, the cigarette was becoming more and more little. 

'Just once' Hanbin said and take action to get closer at him.

Jinhwan was surprised and took a step back, putting away the cigarette as far as he could. He was scared, he knows if Hanbin tastes this, the next thing was him next to him, both of them smoking, Hanbin has enough stress to fall into a slight addiction for it. He didn't want it. People will hate him, as how probably a lot already does with him, people will judge and point at him. He would became dependent, getting angry every time he couldn't have a cigarette in the right moment, he will be scared of doing it in front of his family. And more of a lot of things that and things that korean society has against it, and lets not even talk about the health thing. Jinhwan fingers trembled.

'Jinhwan' was the only thing he heard before he started pushing him away.

It was unfair, Hanbin was using his height against him. A push here and there, and a bad movement and-

'Oh ' Hanbin said covering his hand and checking it, bringing it close to him

'Hanbin, jesus ing christ, I told you to stop. Here let me check it' He first left the little cigarette on the ashtray before he brought and grabbed the younger hand and looked at the little mark on it, luckily it was only red, it will disappear in a day or two.

'If you only stayed still, I wouldn't have burned you, this is you fault you know' He said quickly almost without breathing in between, he pushed his hand away and ran a hand through his hair. Sighing.

'Are you going to cry?' 

'Leave me alone, give me some space.' He was not going to cry, even if he wants it. 

The guilty attacked him. The guilty of doing something that probably a lot of people, fans, his sister and even Bobby were t