Lost in memories

 

It was raining heavily as I sat by the window and stared at the empty streets with my head leaning on the cold window glass.

A lot of thoughts were running through my mind…

Was coming back a good idea? I could have just stayed at my aunt’s house like I usually did before it all happened.

Walking into my old room and sitting here so calmly is really hard. I feel my heart ache with every breath I take. Too many memories are buried in these walls.

The rain was slowly calming down and I closed my eyes while listening to the light sound of raindrops still tapping on my window.

These small moments are the ones that calm my heart.

I moved away from the window and looked around my room. It was untouched from the day I left. All my books were lazily laying in same spots. My computer was still closed on the table. Closet with many clothes, hasn’t been open in forever…

Only one thing changed.

My father isn’t here anymore…

I was about to leave my room but when I opened the door, I heard my mother speaking with someone on the phone.

“She is fine. Don’t worry…” She Stood in the living room with her back facing me.

“Yes, the doctors were sure that she was okay to leave the hospital.”

“I don’t think that she wants to see you right now.”

“No, I’ll call you. Bye.” And she hanged up while rubbing her forehead with a sigh.

I closed the door behind me and quietly walked to the living room.

“Was that dad?” I asked and omma turned around quickly with her eyes widely open.

“No Y/N… It was just my friend worried about you…” I knew that she was lying but I didn’t want to argue. I wanted a fresh start, just the two of us and no anger or pain.

We both sat down on the sofa and mom was still smiling at me. I guess she feels good seeing me here… Back home.

“How are you feeling sweetie..?” She asked while softly my hair and I gave her a smile.

“I guess I’m fine but—“ I wasn’t able to finish my sentence because the doorbell started ringing loudly.

Mom looked startled so I got up and went to the door.

“Y/N, wait!” She called for me but without listening I opened the door and looked outside.

The person that was standing in the hallway, made my whole body freeze and I couldn’t move. I felt my mouth dry out and mom quietly came behind me and also stared at the door.

“Y/N…” My father tried to smile but I couldn’t even say a word.

“Your mother didn’t want me to come but I was nearby…” His words seemed distant to my ears.

I wanted to close the door but he stopped it with his foot and I looked up at his eyes. Anger build up inside of me.

“Please… Listen to me…” He said while begging and I felt disgusted in him even more.

“You should have spoken when I was still listening…” I managed to speak and my hands crawled into fists with my nails digging into my skin.

Remembering everything my mom and I had to go through because of him, made my chest ache and eyes burn from tears that wanted to roll down my cheeks.

My father was about to say something else but I didn’t listen anymore and ran out of the house without even looking back.

When I got out of the elevator on the 1^st floor it was still raining outside. Without even caring about getting all wet, I started running as fast as I could and people stared at me weirdly.

When I felt like my lungs completely ran out of the oxygen, I slowed down and breathed heavily. I was walking in the rain slowly and my clothes and hair were soaking wet.

I wasn’t sure why did I ran out so childishly… What was even going on inside of my head..?

Maybe during those weeks in hospital I really became a little crazy.

I scared to even think about going back to school tomorrow…

What will people think..? I lost all of my closest friends… Because they all probably know what I did…

 

Dark flashbacks ran through my mind. Of the day when I decided to quit it all and I went to the beach all alone…

The dark waves… My lungs filling with water…

It all became black. I didn’t even see any light anymore…

But someone saved me. Someone got me out of the water and I wasn’t able to quit all the pain around me.

I didn’t even notice how the streets were getting darker and darker. I was walking without paying attention to where I went and now I was in a place that I had no idea where it was.

The rain was long gone and the cold streets were empty. Only some dark figures passed by me and drunk people laugh was heard echoing in the distance.

I started looking around for anyone normal to ask for directions but nobody was on my sight.

Suddenly, a young guy came out of the apartments not too far from me. He seemed sober so I started running after him.

“Hey! Please stop!” I yelled but he didn’t even care and walked even further away with his hands in his pockets and head hung low.

“Yah--!” I was out of breath so I had to stop to catch it back.

After panting heavily, I straightened up and looked before me. Two really drunk guys passed the street and now were walking in front of the guy I was following.

He bumped into those men and they both started yelling at him angrily.

“YAH! YOU PUNK!!!!” The turned him around and I froze in my spot. Something bad was about to happen…

“You have any problems..?” He asked in a low tone and I stopped breathing for a second.

“YOU WANNA DIE?!?!” The men grabbed him by his neck and slammed him to the wall but he just gave them a small smile.

“Please try…” He whispered and chills ran down my spine because it was like I could feel the tight grip on his neck.

What the hell is wrong with this guy!? He’s going to get himself killed!

The men started hitting him in his stomach and face. The kicked him and he moaned in pain.

I stepped forward but stopped again. What can I possibly do..? I am to weak and small next to those two…

When the guy finally fell down to the ground, the drunk men walked away from him while laughing and cheering.

I quickly ran to him and he looked up at me coldly.

“Are you crazy!? You need to go to the hospital!” I said loudly and he just looked away.

“So you are the one who was following me..?” He looked at me from head to toe and chuckled while standing up.

“So you did hear me…” I frowned a little.

“Of course I did. I think that the whole Seoul heard those annoying screams of yours.” He chuckled again and I crossed my arms on my chest. This guy is an , isn’t he..?

He turned away from me and started walking slowly, while holding onto his stomach and quietly groaning from pain.

“Hey! Wait!” I ran after him and now walked beside him. I’m kind of lost anyway… Where else can I go..?

“You look terrible, let me help you get to the hospital.” I said and he frowned from pain but still tried to walk normally.

“How can you take me to the hospital if you don’t even know where you are right now?” I looked down with nothing else to say. Am I that obviously lost..?

“I’ll give you directions back home but only if you come with me right now.” He said while looking down at me from the corner of his eyes.

“How can I trust you...?” I stopped a little and he looked back at me with a smirk.

 

“Do you have a choice..?”

 

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__pnGFfxnjY

Watch it here ^^

I hope you like the story so far! :)