Oath

Oath

AN: My sincerest condolences for the families of those who died in Orlando Shooting incident.

Soulless s. Loving someone with the same is not a crime. Falling in love is not a sin - killing is.

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(99)

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"With the power bestowed upon me, I now pronounce you as married couple bonded by the hands of God .."

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(1)

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Jung Yunho stared down at the tiny hands that were held before him. His eyes slowly shifted at the boy standing in front of him with a warm smile on his innocent face.

"Come on, let's play!" the kid said, his smile going wider.

With a nod of his head, the boy named Kim Jaejoong grabbed his hand, leading him toward his world.

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(20)

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"I like you, Jae."

That four words were uttered in the stillness of the night. They were walking their way home from their school that night when he reached for Jaejoong's hand.

Jaejoong asked him what's the matter, and he took a deep deep breath before opening his mouth. There was a fleeting moment of silence after the words were spoken with faces tinted in deep deep shade of red.

He counted the seconds in his head.

One. Two. Three, and before another second passed, Kim Jaejoong giggled.

"I know, and I like you too, Jung Yunho."

The four words that took a decade to say only took four seconds to be answered.

Jaejoong grinned at him, grabbing his hand just like the first time they met. They walked home hand in hand, smiles on their faces.

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(31)

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He fixed his tie for the nth time that night, a nervous smile adorning his face when he held his hand in front of Jaejoong. Although they were going out for a month now, his heart would still flit whenever he's with him. 

Jaejoong, with his white tuxedo smiled at him before they walked toward the dancefloor where different array of bright blinding colors were around them.

He hated high school dances but when they began to move with the rhythm of a song, he smiled.

At the end of the night, they're out in the streets. Dancing and laughing and blushing to the sound of the night insects, under the starry night sky.

When midnight came, he pulled Jaejoong closer to him, and when his black orbs met with Jaejoong's dark dark eyes, time ceased to move. He leaned over, pressing his lips unto Jaejoong's.

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(50)

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"Hey," he called Jaejoong's attention who was eating an ice cream that one summer day. Jaejoong turned to him, asking why.

"You see that cathedral?" he asked, pointing a church that stood prefectly in the center of Busan.

"Of course, I'm not blind you know," Jaejoong teased, nudging his sides. "So, what's with that cathedral?"

He reached for Jaejoong's free hand, squeezing it before trying to articulate the words he wanted to say.

"I want you to remember that cathedral, remember every curved letter, every design embedded in the doors. I want you to remember how the seats are arranged. I want you to never forget that place because that's the place where I'll marry you .." he said, eyes boring into Jaejoong's eyes. He saw Jaejoong blushed under his gaze.

"I'll be waiting at the far end of the altar, and when the cathedral's door opens, there would you be, standing perfectly with a smile on your face. You'll be walking to my way, with every step you'll make, your walk would be accompanied by a sweet sweet melody that's our song." he said, closing his eyes.

"You'll be surrounded by flowers. The guests attention would be only yours. Then maybe, we'll shed some tears because that day would be the happiest day of our lives. When your walk ends, I'll take your hand and we'll stand before God, muttering our vows and promises, and only death could take us apart .."

"That's .. That's wonderful, Ho .." Jaejoong said haltingly. "That's just how exactly I pictured our wedding."

Dropping his ice cream on the ground, Jaejoong pulled him closer. It doesn't matter whether they were out in the public or few disgusted looks were in their way because Jaejoong, with bravery on his eyes tiptoed and claimed his lips.

"I love you."

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(61)

"I'm really nervous, Yunho." Jaejoong said, voice shaking as they walked to his house's way.

When he grabbed Jaejoong's hands, he realized he's trembling and his hands were so cold.

"My dad will surely like you, Jae. I'm sure of that but if you're really nervous to meet him tonight, I'll take you home now. We'll go some other time, okay?" he said, sending Jaejoong a reassuring smile.

Jaejoong let out a deep breath, nodding at him. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous, you know?"

He nodded understandingly.

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(75)

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"Dad," he called his father's attention one night as they were having their dinner.

"What is it, son?" his father asked before sipping his water.

"Dad, I'm .. I'm in love." he said, looking intently at his father's reaction.

His father smiled, nodding at him. He smiled too. Then a question came.

"I know. I can see it, your eyes are sparkling these days. So, who's the lucky girl, huh?"

He cleared his throat. "Dad, it's Jae. You remember him? My best friend? It's Jaejoong, dad." he said, his heart beating way too fast.

 

He went to sleep that night with a broken nose and a bleeding head.

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(97)

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"Father." a voice called him that afternoon, bringing him back in the present that he's trying so hard to escape.

"The wedding will start soon." one of the nuns said, bowing at him before shutting the door of his room.

Father. Yes. He's a priest now. A conductor of too many weddings with couples he really don't care about.

But why, would you ask was he doing there? You see, five years ago when he told his father about the love he's sharing with Jaejoong, his father yelled.

He yelled and yelled and yelled. And he cursed and cursed and cursed. And with every curses that was ringing on his head, there came the series of kicks and punches to snap him out of his foolishness.

The beatings didn't stopped there. He'll went to bed every night with a bleeding head and a broken body parts and a healing scar that were the price he has to pay for loving another man.

His father didn't understand. He said he's living in sin. He said he'll never be saved. He said it was wrong. He said painful things about him, about Jaejoong, and about their forbidden love.

His father yelled and yelled and yelled.

And one night before winter came, the beatings stopped. His punishment arrived and his fate was decided.

"You'll enter the convent Jung Yunho. You'll be a priest and you'll forget about your gayness and you'll repent for all the sins you've committed and you'll forget about Kim Jaejoong." his father firmly said.

And an unspoken threat echoed to his ears.

Before the dawn came, he left home. He left Jaejoong. He left his heart. And he left a broken promise.

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(98)

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He put himself back together and settled himself behind the pulpit, waiting for the bride to come.

A moment later, the bridal song came, and the doors of the cathedral opened, revealing a bride with a sweet smile on her face as she walked down the aisle, where her groom was waiting.

When he glanced at the groom, he find the ghost from his past, and he almost forgot to breathe.

When the couple turned to him, he saw Jaejoong's face again - still beautiful, only now, his eyes no longer shine like a star. He saw Jaejoong's expression turned from shocked before it gave way to fury.

When their eyes met after five long long years, the broken promise he uttered came to him.

 

"Remember that cathedral because that's the place where I'll marry you, Jae .."

 

He saw Jaejoong's face frowned, as if remembering the scene that was playing on his head.

He chewed the inside of his cheeks as Jaejoong mirrored the same look he has because there was once upon a time when they promised that wedding would be theirs.

Time doesn't stop for anybody when he heard the bride's clearing , and he nodded at them, conducting their wedding.

Once the ceremony was over, he find the next words were too difficult to say.

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(100)

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He quickly slipped away from the altar when the guests cheered and clapped. Once alone, far from any people, he knelt down. His knees were too weak, and his heart were broken in pieces, but he smiled. Because he'd fulfilled his promise that he'll marry Jaejoong in that cathedral - only he wasn't the one waiting on the far end of the altar, only he wasn't the one Jaejoong would spend the next forever with.

But still, he smiled.

Jaejoong's fine, and he'll be happy - and for him, that was more than enough.

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End notes: I'll have you know that I hate this too. Like I'm cursing myself while writing this. (=_=')

 

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Comments

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Lubemyshinki #1
Chapter 1: This is heartbreaking but so beautiful. Well written, dear.
shin9095
#2
Chapter 1: What are you doing omg I'm crying :'(
hymeki #3
Chapter 1: Soo beautifull and pain story, there is so many way to fulfill the promise but why this way? T.T
Pooorr my yunjae, hope u will be happy in the next life..
jaeparadise_22 #4
Chapter 1: This is painfully beautiful. *cries in a corner, pats my aching YunJae heart*
balicucha #5
Chapter 1: Bunso ang ganda hay parang sasabog ang puso ko... Proud of you bunso. Big hug :)
loveyunjae4ever #6
Chapter 1: So beautifully written...thank you and well done author shii...but dont you wnat to make it more longer???kkkk jae will be in love with a yunho again and i bet it will be heavy angst ff...anyhow congratulation for this!
sheerasyj #7
Chapter 1: Why? Why oh why?? My heart is as broken as Yunho's heart and body....huhuhuhu T-T
llama_93
#8
Chapter 1: Chapter 1: holy my feels!! I wasn't expecting this! But I love it~♡
Because it explains or shows not everything works out even when the person doesn't want to
But
Aww I loved this ~♡
vyrmag
#9
Chapter 1: It's really pityfull because any of them had forgotten the other and have to life a lie.
primulla
#10
Chapter 1:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tim5nU3DwIE simply.