“She was more beautiful than he remembered. It was as if the Christmas glitter was concentrated in only one woman.”

The Orange Girl, Jostein Gaarder

 ♦ Ha Yun ♦

Months passed and Jinki was recovering really well. He now could walk holding the bars and he completely recovered the sensibility of his legs.

Ha Yun did as he asked and now they slept together every night as if they were a couple. She also stopped counting the times they had . It was too many to count now and for a man that wasn’t that “active” Jinki had a strong appetite in bed.

That naughty thought always made her smile because she didn’t mind it at all. The highlight of her day was when he kissed her, was caring towards her, sometimes even danced with her making her sit on his lap rotating his wheelchair….and of course how they always ended their day in the same bed, kissing each other or having .

He was back to being the Jinki she fell in love with and soon he would walk away from her.

The fact that he was recovering so fast was a reason for her to celebrate and be sad at the same time.

The quickest he recovered the quickest she would have to stop living with him. Ha Yun dream was ending along with Jinki’s nightmare.

It was a bittersweet feeling and Ha Yun was sure what she wanted. He needed to walk again, her happiness was secondary.

She made her share of memories with him already. They went out on dates a few more times; they make out around the house a lot and had their share of . There was also that funny moment when his parents arrived to his place when she was in his bed and she had to hide in the bathroom .

He reprimanded her for that, saying that it was ok if they found out but it wasn’t for her. It wasn’t as if they were in a real relationship and she would feel bad if they saw her as the girl that was sleeping with their injured son.

However what she would miss the most was waking up beside him every morning. Ha Yun loved to be the first one waking up, the first one able to see his sleepy face in the morning, to touch his cheeks softly, to trace the bridge of his nose and lips and then see him open his eyes in a confused sleepy way until his brain recognized her and Jinki smiled at her.  Nothing in the world was better than that smile and the way he sometimes pulled her closer to him after it, kissing her softly. That was true happiness!

That day was no different from the others and Ha Yun was watching Jinki finish his massage after the physiotherapy.

He held into her hand and she sat beside him while the doctor carefully massaged his feet.

Yes they held hands now too, which she liked as much as when he kissed her in public. It made it feel more real.

“Should I start trying to stand up at home too?” Jinki asked the doctor.

“No not yet. You might fall and hurt yourself but you probably should stimulate your feet. Your girlfriend can help.” The doctor turned to Ha Yun that was moving her eyes from Jinki to the doctor waiting for the first to correct the second about his mistake “You can massage his feet at home every night, if you have time.

Jinki nodded his head still not correcting him and Ha Yun stuttered doing it herself. “W- we are only friends….im not his girlfriend!” She clarified embarrassed because the doctor didn’t seem to believe her, his eyes falling on the way Jinki was holding Ha Yun hand.

She immediately pulled her hand away and Jinki looked at her confused.

They left the hospital with a silent Jinki that seemed to be sulking and Ha Yun that wasn’t sure about what.

“Does your legs hurt? Are you in pain? ” They did sometimes because he was putting a lot of pressure on them now.

“Yes!” he said pouting a little, like a kid, and Ha Yun immediately kneeled in front of him in the parking lot and touched his leg.

“Not there.” He said watching her expressionless.

She moved her hand to his thigh and he shook his head negatively.

“Not your legs? Your head?”

“My chest!” He said touching dramatically the place where his heart was “My chest hurts!”

She widened her eyes worried and pushed his chair on the opposite direction from where the taxis were.

“Where are you going?” he asked trying to stop the chair with his hands.

“We need to check that!”

He chuckled incredulous before he yelled her to stop.

“I’m fine! Just take me home!”

His request muddled her but she did what he said.

 ♦ Jinki ♦

The nights were a little colder now and Ha Yun helped Jinki, pulling the pants of his pajamas over his legs. That was the most he would get dressed to sleep since he normally sweat a lot. She sat beside him in the bed and he pulled the covers over both while she leaned to turn off the light from the table beside his bed.

They stood in silence until he sneaked an arm under her, pulling her to him. She rolled on the bed laying her head on his shoulder and they stood like they did every night, ready to sleep.

However Jinki couldn’t sleep. He was thinking about what happened earlier that morning. Ha Yun said they were friends and that hurt him. Friends don’t make love, don’t sleep together in each other arms, don’t kiss like they do, they don’t have feelings like they have for each other.

Her answer confused him because he thought she loved him. That feeling of uneasiness in a relationship was new to him and he wondered if she didn’t want to reveal they were dating until he could walk again. Maybe she wanted him to keep pushing forward for her to admit that she loved him. Because she loved him right?!

“When did you start to love me?” He asked his lips “And why?”

She moved her head on his shoulder and raised her eyes to him. “I don’t know. It happened.”

“Because you love me, right?”

She rolled staying with her tummy down and leaned over him so she could face him.

“Yes I do.”

Her confession made him smile and he felt relieved.

“You don’t know…” He repeated pondering about her answer and she leaned her head against this chest again, getting ready to sleep. “I love the way you speak softly to me and how you argue with me and call me an idiot. Also the cute little sounds you make when I hug you or how your rub your nose against my neck when we have .”

She froze on his arms and he felt her tense up. Did she realize he was answering to the same question, the why he loved her. He could go on and on describing a couple other things he loved on her but it was pointless. He just did.

“Do you love me Jinki?” She asked raising her yes to him again “do you?”

She seemed as scared of his answer as much as he did.

He did love her but...he sill wasn’t the man she deserved.

“I need to walk first to be able to fully love a woman!”

“This conversation again?” Ha Yun asked sitting on the bed “You love me just right without walking. I don’t care about it and you know it.”

“Then why did you say we were friends today?”

“Because that’s what we are, right?”

She waited for his answer and Jinki realized that Ha Yun didn’t have the same perception of their relationship as he did. She didn’t realize how much he loved her, how important she was to him.

His lack of an answer made her leave the bed “I’m going to sleep in the other room tonight.”

“No... no!” He said leaning on the bed, his body falling forward on it so he could grab her hand before she escaped.

He lay on the bed, his body on a weird angle, his cheek against the mattress. “Stay with me...Don’t go! I need you…”

She sat in the bed and helped him sit back again before she kissed him.

Jinki sighed of relief and Ha Yun hugged him. “I’m not going anywhere!”

He wouldn’t let her go either. It was too late to let her go now.