Who the hell does she think she is?

                                                                                 Does she think she’s worthy of oppa?

She's nothing but a cheap .

She’s too ugly to be filming with oppa…

She continued scrolling through the comments on the online forum, her fingers subconsciously skipping by the comments that said she looked pretty and that she looked like a good match for Namjoon. Her eyes only focusing on the negative comments.

                      She’s too ugly to be an idol!

                                                         She must have slept with someone high up to have become an idol.

She sighed loudly, drawing her knees up to her chest as she curled up on her chair, looking at her reflection in the large mirror in front of her. She had never thought of herself as ugly, but she had never thought of herself as overly beautiful either. The maknae of their group was known as the visual, a fact that had never bothered her before. She tilted her head from side to side, looking at herself from different angles, her previous confidence in her appearance all but shattered.

She heard the door open from behind her and she quickly logged out of the forum. She smiled at Namjoon as he flopped into the chair beside her. “Hey Sumi.” He said in greeting as he tilted his head back against the chair, his eyes closed, his long legs stretched out in front of him. “Late night?” she asked. He nodded, “Yeah, I got distracted with Yoongi in the studio until god knows what time.” she nodded in understanding, knowing that when the two of them were in the studio, time went completely out of the window. “You know Mother is gonna yell at you for your eye bags.”

He chuckled, knowing that the middle aged makeup artist, whom they all affectionately called Mother, had a fiery temper, especially when they hadn’t been taking proper care of their skin. A moment later, she came through the door. She took one look at Namjoon and instantly started scolding him about getting proper sleep. Namjoon gave her an embarrassed grin as he apologised. She huffed loudly as she got to work on his makeup.

Sumi had arrived long before Namjoon and her makeup had already been done. The director called her to the set to begin her solo shots for the clothing line her and Namjoon had been chosen to model for. She followed the director’s instructions, trying to forget about the horrible comments she had spent the past three days reading. They had taken some teaser shots which had been put up online to test the public’s response to the company’s choice in models.

The feedback had been overwhelming. She figured that this was mainly down to Namjoon's popularity. Her group were still rookies who were making a name for themselves. She had been surprised when her manager had told her about the offer for her to film the advertisements and do the photoshoots with Namjoon. She had instantly jumped at the chance; she had been an admirer of Namjoon's since before BTS had made their debut. She couldn’t pass up the opportunity to work with him, even if it wasn’t musically.

She started to gain back a little of her confidence as the shoot continued, that is until Namjoon joined her. She was already nervous in his presence and when he stood next to her, his arm casually slung over her shoulder, she couldn’t help but think about what kinds of nasty comments would be posted about her this time. The director noticed her sudden stiffness. He ordered them to take a break and pulled her to the side.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his tone firm, but not unkind. She felt a blush work its way onto her face, she knew that if she continued to be awkward around Namjoon that it would affect the shoot. She twisted her fingers almost painfully with nerves. “Is it the comments online?” he asked abruptly, catching her completely off-guard. “How did you know?” she asked, her voice small. He sighed and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Mother said she caught you reading the negative comments online.” She hung her head, embarrassed for getting caught. “Don’t let those crazy es get to you. They’re just jealous that they can’t film with their favourite oppa.” He said, purposely making his voice higher pitched at the word ‘oppa’.

She nodded, knowing that the comments from the anonymous citizens were probably fuelled by jealousy. “I know. I’m sorry. I’ll try not to let it bother me.” She said as she forced a smile on her face. The director nodded, giving her an approving look. “Right, let’s get back to it, ok?” she nodded, heading back to her spot. Namjoon frowned at what he had overheard. He had been so busy recording with Yoongi lately that he hadn’t thought to look up the response to their filming.

When they finally got a break to eat and change clothes an hour later, he pulled up a couple of online forums and was surprised by some of the comments he came across. Most of the comments were positive, saying that the two of them were a great choice but some of the comments were downright abusive. “She’s been reading all these?” he wondered aloud to himself as she came back into the room after changing her outfit and sitting down beside him, helping herself to a bottle of water from the table.

“That’s me done if you wanna get changed.” She said, breaking his train of thought. “Huh?” he said, turning his attention away from his phone and to her. She smiled at him, blaming his behaviour on being tired. “You can go get changed now.” She said. He nodded and stood up, leaving his phone on the table. “Thanks. You should eat some more before we have to go back.” He said as he headed off to get changed.

When he returned, he noticed that her chopsticks remained untouched. He frowned, wondering if the reason for her lack of appetite was linked to the nasty comments online. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a member of staff calling them back out for the next round of photos. She stood up and gave him a smile. “One last round of photos then we’re done.” She said brightly, leading the way back to the set.

As they shot the final photos, he could hear her stomach growling from hunger. He didn’t say anything, not wanting to cause a scene in the middle of the photoshoot. He tried to concentrate on the shoot, but his mind was filled with thoughts of her and how she must be feeling. When the shoot ended, the director reminded everyone that there was going to be a dinner for all the staff. Sumi apologised, telling him that she had an interview to attend. After some negotiating, she agreed to meet up with them all for drinks after her interview. Namjoon frowned, wondering whether or not she was using the interview as an excuse not to eat.

Over the following weeks, Namjoon spent a lot of time on the online forums and various methods of social media as he tracked the comments of their photoshoot together. Most of the comments praised them both for taking such nice photographs, but there was still a lot of negative comments from people claiming to be his fans, saying how she was too ugly and fat to be an idol and how they couldn’t understand how she had been chosen to model with him. The more he read the more disgusted he became. More than once he had to walk away from his computer to stop his rage from getting the better of him.

He had been keeping an eye on Sumi as well. It was easy for him to “accidentally” run into her since they worked at the same company. She never once mentioned the negative comments that were being made about her. But after questioning some of the staff he found out that she had been reading the forums often, despite everyone’s advice not to. He noticed a lot of small changes in her behaviour. She had lost some of her energy when performing, and she had lost weight rapidly as well, she had lost some of her confidence, and he noticed that her smile seemed to be forced.

The clothing line had approached them both again to film a few commercials for their brand. He had heard that she had tried to get out of the filming, claiming that there must be someone more suited to filming than her. It had taken her group, her manager and the director for the commercial to coerce her into filming again. He knew that it was most likely because of the comments that would undoubtedly circle the forums again.

The day after the announcement was made that they would be filming together again, he met her as she was entering the building. He was surprised to see her alone, as she usually came with her members in the morning. “Hey.” He greeted warmly. She returned his smile with one of her own. He noticed how tired and pale she looked. “Hey, how are you?” she asked as they fell into step with one another, heading towards their respective studios. “Good, another late night.” He said with a chuckle. “How about you? It’s unusual to see you here alone.” He commented.

“I’ve been working on some new things for our comeback. The girls were up late last night so I decided to come in and work on things by myself for a while to let them catch up with sleep.” He nodded, understanding her reasoning as a fellow leader. “Don’t overwork yourself, ok?” she nodded, giving him a warm smile as he continued down the hallway. She started to open the door to her studio but quickly slammed it shut again, making Namjoon jump around in surprise. “Everything ok?” he asked curiously.

She nodded jerkily, “Y-yeah. Everything’s fine.” She said trying to force a smile onto her face. Namjoon frowned as he noticed how tight her grip was on the door handle and how much paler she had become. He walked up to her, noticing how uneasy she had become. “Aren’t you going in?” he asked. Her eyes darted to the doorway then back to him. “Yeah, I was just waiting for you to get to your studio safely first.” She said, a weak chuckle making its way past her lips.

He reached out for the door to her studio and she jumped in front of him, pressing herself against the door. “What are you doing?” she asked, her voice rising in pitch from panic. “Sumi, what’s going on?” he asked, his voice deep and laced with concern. “Nothing. Everything’s fine.” She said, praying that he would just turn and walk down the hallway. He took a step closer to her so that they were practically nose to nose. She let out a soft gasp as he leant forward. She heard the loud click of the door as Namjoon reached behind her and swiftly opened the door.

She turned around and tried to pull the door shut, but it was already too late. He had seen everything. “Sumi…” he said, his voice barely a whisper as he took in the mess of her studio. Defaced photographs of her had been stuck on the walls. Awful words had been scored into the images or written in what looked like red lipstick onto the walls.

                                                                  fat cow                         good for nothing         

                                         ugly                               pig                         die

Namjoon looked back at Sumi who had wrapped her arms around herself, her eyes pressed shut as she tried to hold back her tears. Namjoon grabbed her and pulled her against his chest, turning her away from the awful words. One of his arms wrapped around her shoulders, the other her hair as he whispered soothing words to her. He felt her body shake as she started to sob into his shirt. He held her tighter as he felt her tears soak into his shirt. He silently cursed whoever had done this. Her hands lifted and wrapped tightly around his waist as she cried, letting out the emotions and feelings that she had sealed away over the past few weeks.

Namjoon held her until she had no more tears left to shed. Only when her crying had stopped and she had stopped sniffling did he finally pull away from her. He used the pad of this thumbs to wipe away the traces of her tears and her smudged mascara. “Listen to me Sumi.” He said, his deep, warm voice practically demanding her attention. “The people that wrote these messages here, and the ones that have been writing those idiotic comments online are just jealous of you. You’ve achieved a dream that many people try for and never even get a glimpse of. You’ve worked damn hard to get where you are now, and you can’t let these petty, jealous fools stop you from working towards your dream. You are smart, beautiful, kind, caring, funny, talented… and that already makes you a million times better than those people.”

Namjoon was encouraged when a ghost of a smile appeared on her face as she looked into his eyes which were full of passion as he spoke. “Don’t let this get to you, and don’t bottle it all up either. If you ever need someone to talk to, to vent to, or someone just to be there as a shoulder to cry on, you know you have your group, but you can also rely on me. I’ll be there whenever you need me.” He said, giving her a smile. Her grin increased a little at his sincere words. She hesitantly tightened her grip around his waist, resting her head against his shoulder as she let out a shaky breath.

“Thank you so much Namjoon. I can’t tell you how much this means to me. I've been bottling this up for so long. I couldn’t tell the girls; I didn’t want them to worry. We’ve got enough on our plates with our comeback coming up.” She admitted quietly. He held her tighter. “From now on, if there’s anything bothering you. It doesn’t matter if its big or small, or what time of the day it is, you call me, ok?” he said looking down at her. She nodded up at him, her expression grateful. “Thank you.”

He reached over and pulled her studio door shut. “I’ll get someone to take those things down. For now, let’s go get something to eat. And don’t dare say you're not hungry. I know you’ve barely been eating lately.” He said as he pulled out of her embrace and grabbed her hand in his and led her down the hallway. She smiled at his back as he led her away from not only her studio, but from her insecurities. In just a few minutes he had managed to almost completely demolish all of her fears and insecurities. She could only smile at the older man’s back, an unfamiliar knot forming in her stomach as her heart began beating rapidly in her chest. She tried to pass it off as gratitude for his kindness, but deep down, she knew that her feelings for Namjoon had only just begun to develop.