One Night

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvPrcFNVHFY

It’s breaking, it’s breaking, the worn out memories
It’s disappearing, it’s disappearing, that certain face
Into my days that casually pass by

The music is turning a bit sensual and she can see how the crowds are starting to dance heatedly. It is funny how out of place the rookies are. They sit by the bar, fiddling on their skirts. Some seems like they want to go to the dance floor but behave themselves. They eyed the sunbaes with a hint of intimidation and it grows bigger when the sunbaes’ group is even higher up the kpop chain. She does not need to do stuff like that anymore. Socializing for the sake of boosting their group place.

Seohyun frowns as she drinks the last gulp of the beer.

“Hoorayyyyyy!” The group chorus in loud cheers.

“Now, for another glass let’s spin the bottle again.”

“Have you ever felt like quitting our career?”

“YES! Even the maknae feels it that way.” Hyoyeon tries to reason and in return, nudges the shoulder of the maknae sitting next to her.

“Ah.. ne..”

Seohyun gulps nervously feeling the bottle is pointing up to her again and then it did. And it happens like the 10^th time by now. Her cheeks are red hot by now gulping around the 4^th drink already.

“Truth!”

She chose truth because she was dared of kissing her bestfriend Minho before. It’s the most disgusting thing to do, because Minho is like her kin by now.

“Are you or are you not dating Changmin oppa?”

“Unnie!”

“Answer or drink!”

“I’m not! Not for now at the very least. Ask Minho if you guys don’t trust me.”

“Araseoo..”

They spun the bottle again and it ended at her.

AGAIN?!

“Have you ever kissed Changmin sunbae at the lips? French kiss?” Min giggles after asking her the question.

“Aniyo! Can you guys like pause for a moment. Why do I keep getting pick?”

“Blame the bottle!” They exclaimed together. “And you don’t need to date someone to kiss them.”

“Seohyun ah, are you sure you don’t even like brush lips with him.. We heard rumors you know.”

“I don’t! Can you guys just continue on. No question allowed until the bottle reaches me again.”

 Honestly, she feels too hot in here too… she is about to adjust the straps of her heels when she sees a magnet planted with a video recorder under the table.. Funny.. really funny.

They are trying to prank her.

She lifts her head, slightly adjusting her hair properly.

“Minnie~ I’m going out for a while.”

Yes, she needs to get out of here before she ends up wasted. Purposely by them at that.

“Come back faster.” Min laughingly smacks Seohyun’s .

“Araaa..” She nods, feeling a bit tipsy.

She cursed inside.. She indeed has a bunch of crazy friends.

She breathes a sigh of relief once outside. She knows what the group of girls are planning, they want to video tape her drunk.. she overheard them though at first but she doesn’t know the plan will be commenced today.

She walks slightly in front, not wanting to hear anymore of the loud noise. It feels like the loud sound is piercing her ears.. banging her head with its non-stop ‘dum’ ‘dum’.That is when she notices him, the infamous leader of the famous band… Jung Yonghwa, wearing a black trench coat with a pack of cigarette on his hand,  his back slightly hunch as he kicks the pebbles on the street.

‘He smokes?’ That’s news to her.

She stands there contemplating whether to greet him or leave the seemingly brooding guy alone. It is unnecessary though, because somehow he looks up and sees her.

His smile creeps by and his face brims at the sight of her.

It’s somehow painful for her to see this sight of him.

“Hi.” She slightly waves.

“English woman now aren’t you?” He grins cheekily.

His teeth are now lined up perfectly. No more snaggletooth oppa with a charming smile.

“Omo SNSD Seohyun sshi! What are you doing outside?” He exclaims, faking a fanboy excitement.

He still has the same of joke, after all.

“Fresh air.” She pauses and looks back at the clubbing scene on her back. She looks at him before sighing. “What about you, oppa?” Like a reflex, her eyes trail on the pack of cigarettes in his hand.

And he sees that.

“Fresh air too. It’s too stuffy inside and I still don’t smoke by the way. Holding this feels like releasing my stress.” Yonghwa opens the box and shakes it to prove that everything is still inside. He never touches them.

“You don’t have to explain.”

“I want to though, I don’t want you to think badly of me. You see, the only thing I have left is this.” He points at his throat. “I can’t possibly ruin it for a fleeting enjoyment.”

“Oh.” Seohyun nods and then the atmosphere suddenly turn awkward so she cleared in attempt to strike another conversation. “I heard your album, it’s a nice one.”

“Do you really think it’s nice?”

“Not exactly my preferences. There are a lot of sad songs.”

He beams and she hates how he beams even when she’s criticizing his music. “Well my personal life is not exactly as great as my career.” His answer seems to be left hanging, and his eyes is seemingly asking her to ask more of why his personal life aren’t as great as his career but she chooses to opt out and nods blankly instead.

“Why are you standing so far away? It’s awkward if you keep a distance with me.” Yonghwa chirps happily and pat the air on his side. “Come here.”

“I don’t think it is necessary.”

“Why, do you think I will eat you up or something? I’m not a wolf.”

You are a wolf for me..

“Ahrasseo..” She tries to step forward but almost stumble down on a small rock.

“Are you tipsy?”

“No I’m not.” She defies strongly. Too strongly that it seems almost laughable even to herself.

He chuckles, albeit too loud for her liking. Is it too obvious she is quite tipsy now?

“Are you shy then?”

“No!” She frowns weirdly at him. “Why are you saying that i’m shy?!”

“Your cheeks look pretty red to me.”

She is really annoyed by this time, so she naturally do that ‘puffing the air out of her nose’ reflex which cause Yonghwa smiles to dim a little.

Which she doesn’t notice… due to a loud squeaky voice screaming from inside the club.. heading to them. “HYUNNIE!”

“Oh no..” Seohyun looks panic.

“You don’t want to go back there?”

She shakes her head.

“Hmm…” He ponders for a while… whereas Seohyun is looking around, panicking. “Want me to help you?”

Yonghwa can see how she suddenly froze at his offer.. “Take it or leave it.”. “

Hearing the nearing clacking heels of her friend, Seohyun finally says.. “Please do.”

Her eyes are shining. It was like the ‘Puss in the boots’ eye thing going on. Totally oblivious of how Yonghwa is looking at her in a pain expression. Silently, he curled his fingers into a fist of frustration. ‘Still oblivious of the advances, this girl.’ He chuckles bitterly inside… hidden from her sight.

“Okayyyy..” Yonghwa smiles sheepishly, approaching her and in a split second, grabs her hand and pulls her along with him really swiftly.

Too manly for her liking.

She slightly bumped into him and her heat beat starts to fasten uncontrollably.

She looks at him confusingly, he too look at her, but with a grin plastered all over his face. They exchange eye contact and his grin turn into a wider cheeky one. Naturally, like it is the most normal thing to do… he interlaces his fingers with hers just like before.. just like the old days before he screams… “RUN!”

Just like that, she is pull towards him and her legs starts to move really fast.

They are running, both of them. Running to god knows where.

Seohyun takes a last look at the fading club scene behind them.

Min is panting trying to catch up with them while Hyoyeon face is unreadable to her. Far away from their line of sight.

Silently, Hyoyeon mutters to herself. “I don’t know if this is a good idea or not but let’s leave them alone.”

Min whines.. “But some hot guy wanted to have a go with Seohyun.”

“Does ‘having a go’ matters most than the love of your life? No right?”

Min looks at Hyoyeon, her eyebrows knitted together. “What do you mean?”

“Look at her eyes.. and look at him. I never saw them beaming with the opposite like they did with each other. That is enough explanation. They are meant to be together.. they always have.”

***

On the other hand, Seohyun who is still running with Yonghwa, turns her head to her side, looking at the guy that is guiding her. She smiles and he laughs.

“This is fun!” He screams again.

“I know right.” She answers him.

She cannot imagine anything that is better than this. It’s like being into the moment, into some kind of vortex. The people are all moving slowly, the buildings are left behind and there is just two of them, running and laughing. It is like she is running to a realm of unknown. A realm with endless possibilities.

Endless possibilities..

Like him…

Like what if, she ends up with him instead..

How does it feels to be wrapped around his sturdy arms..

The weird thing is that, she suddenly feels an urge to cry. Of course she won’t… no she won’t but he turns to look at her. She is greeted by a ray of sunshine in the form of his smile. It is blinding her.

She can feel her heart being shattered into pieces.

This is painful.

It is like looking to what if.

What if..

What if they are together.

She closes her eyes. She cannot see him because it pains her. It pains her to be this happy.

Just like that, she feels an overwhelming feeling rushing through her.. hidden feelings, distant memories.. Everything.

They stop running, because she stops. Her trail of steps slows down and he looks at her worriedly.

His eyes seek her and look at her questioningly.

 “We leave them far behind, I don’t think we should run anymore.”

“Sorry, I forgot but it was just so fun wasn’t it.”

She did not answer it, a distant look can be seen on her eyes. It is somewhere he cannot reach. She is at it again. Just when he thought he is able to penetrate into her wall. It came right back up.

“I should go back.” She says. Not knowing the words are killing him inside.

“Seohyun..”

She looks at their hand. Their sweaty hands, interlace together. Sharing warmness in this cold weather…

“If we did not meet each other, don’t you think it would be less painful for both of us?” She raises her head, a painful smile decorating her face. She pulls her hand away slowly from him but then he grabs it.

He looks scared…

Why is he scared?

“Are you trying to chicken out now?” He asks in the spurt of the moment, knowing Seo Joohyun never like to be challenged. 

“What do you mean?”

“When you accept my hand, and then we run… should not you give me a bit of your time as a gesture of gratitude?” He grins… and she grows tense.

went dry.. she knows she shouldn’t do this but… “Where should we go?”

She did it.

“I’m thinking of accompanying you to your house, but I’m thinking of walking.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

“And I’m thinking that you should stop thinking.” He chuckles at her perplex looking face when he withdraws a can of beer inside his trench coat pocket, before offering it to her.

“I should have known. There is a reason why Changmin oppa called you an alcohol monster. Nevermind oppa, you must want to drink it badly. I will give it to you.”

“We can share.” He says nonchalantly and she blushes at the thought of the indirect kisses they will make.

He opens it and gulps the beer. She can see his Adam Apple bulging out and moving up and down with every gulp and the drip of the beer trailing from his lips to his neck.

She blushes even more. Feeling a weave of insanity and logic abandoning her.

He offers it to her, noticing how her shoulder suddenly become tense. He knows, he has managed to leave an impression to her. That he is a man above all. “Sure.” She answers and she gulps it. She drinks about a quarter of it and he can see that she become more tipsy than previously.

“Since I ask you to stop thinking and do what your heart feels. I feel it’s only fair for me to do so too.” She looked at him, confused. “Are you seeing Changmin hyung?”

“I’m not.. but why do you ask?”

“Can’t I ask?”

“No you can’t.” Her tone is sharp and definite.

She gives the can of beer back to him which is unexpected of her to do. He thought she is going to finish it but something in her eyes tells him that she is challenging him.

He looks at the lipstick mark on the can and blushes.

Seo Joohyun is a bad..bad girl. He chuckles and when he is about to drink the beer, his eyes look at her amusingly.

Her face is as nonchalant and unaffected so he place his lips exactly on the lipstick mark. He gulps on the drink, still no change…

“This beer tasted even better than the first time. I wonder why.” He lets her lips linger more on the mouth of the can..   his upper lips and smile sneakily. After all, it takes two to play the game and this Seo Joohyun is definitely an amusing one.

She knows a thing or two on how to flirt around… he feels grim by thinking about the men venture she has gone through. So he takes a quiet stroll at her side, under the starlight… in a silent alleyway. Controlling the burning heart he is feeling now when he feels her hands are brushing on his right hand. He tries his best to ignore it.

But then, she grabs his pinky finger. All hell breaks loose.

Do she thinks she can leave him unscarred after this walk?

She will be leaving dent all over his heart like she always did.

“Why do you ask about Changmin oppa?”

“You won’t like the answer.”

She smiles… that sort of innocent smile that feels like a lamb is giving itself away to its predator. It’s too much… too much for him to handle.

“What are you trying to do?”

“You say don’t think. I’m not thinking.” She giggles… that sort of addictive giggles where he just wanted to pinch her cheeks but instead he reaches for her hands fully and grabs it. She then starts to swing their hands together like a happy kid.

“It’s a beautiful night, don’t you think oppa?”

“You are tipsy Seo Joohyun.”

“I’m not.” She denies before randomly singing “twinkle.. twinkle little star.. How I wonder what you are?!”

“Your face is all red. It’s obvious. What did your unniedul do to you?”

“Then should I act even more tipsy?” He stops and looks at her.

“Should i?”

Inside he is screaming don’t do this to me. But outside he tries to be all the more composed and instead he messed up her hair. “Jasshik.”

“It’s cold oppa.” She makes a statement but it feels like a demand. “I’m cold, do something.” She jumps around like a kid, trying to leave the cold out of her body which is obviously a stupid move.

He laughs and puts her hand inside his pocket but she flares her nose in return. “Not working.” He can feel a slight wriggle on her hand. It’s getting sweaty.

“My entire body is cold.” She claims yet again. “It is because you wanted to take a walk instead of riding a comfortable and warm taxi.” She playfully glares at her oppa.

Yes, her oppa.

“Ooppa!” She giggles yet again.

This girl is drunk all right. She is even doing aegyo to him.

Then screw all his resolve, he pulls her close to him. Body to body. He wraps his manly arms on her waist.

She smiles shyly. Like a kid getting her candy.

So she leans and pecks him on his cheek.

His eyes widen.

“Is this because of the beer?” He raises his eyebrows.

“I think so.” She whistles her answer away.

“I think I need to get more beer.” He states trying to control himself. This is Seo Joohyun he’s talking about.

“I think you should too..”

It feels like her statement is hanging on the end… like she is trying to tell him something.

“You think this is fine? Us being close? Walking without a care of the world… In public? It is like promoting ourselves to be in the cover paper tomorrow.”

“You are the one that say don’t think. So, take responsibility if that happens.”

“Seo Joohyun, you are becoming more blunt with your feelings. I feel like I’ve missed a lot of things in your life.”

“You did.”

Yonghwa is shock by her statement. He looks at her face.. trying to read her. There is a glimpse of resentment reflecting on her eyes.

“You really did..” She says it yet again. “We both changed, we both are two different people than us at 4 years ago.” Seohyun paused for a while before continuing. “Oppa do you know that there is two things in life, soulmate and the one you get married to. Soulmate is the one who changed you but it doesn’t necessarily mean you going to marry that person..”

She pauses and looks into his eyes. A flickered of sparks can be seen in her eyes. It is like the mixture of nervousness and bravery. “What do you think I am to you?”

“I don’t know.”

She nods weakly, before biting her lips, letting herself drown in the complete disappointment despite the anticipation she has felt before.

“I mean.. I can’t possibly know..”

Yonghwa hasn’t finished talking but she chimes in nevertheless and says the word he never expect her to be bold enough to say it. “Well you are my soulmate oppa. I hope you take pleasure on knowing that.”

“Soulmate is someone that made an impact in your life but will never be in your life. They come and go. What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t know, maybe because you seem to figure everything out already, oppa. So I thought you can give me the answer for that..”

“Well Seo Joohyun. I don’t. I mean not everything. Like..”

“Like?”

“Like, you.”

“You haven’t?”

“I haven’t and I would like to figure it out.” Yonghwa let his hand run through her cheek, trying to melt her into him. “Even if it is something deeper? Even if I want you more than a soulmate?”

She does not answer him. Instead, she lifts her hand as slowly as she could possibly have. Her fingers trace his face… her eyes has this unspoken glimpse of sadness as she looks at him.

He is both puzzle and defenseless against her sudden action.

“I’m scared oppa. I’m scared that this thing.. this night we are sharing together… will disappear tomorrow. Like always, I will wake up from this dream. This is going to end. We will end.” Her hands stop at his right cheek. It was about to fall down from his face when he grabs it and put it right at the same exact place.

“Joohyun.. No matter how careful I tried to be, no matter how hard I tried to control it. I can’t help it. I am already in love with you.. and I’m not going to let us to not happen again. After all this almost-lover thing. I can’t take it. It will destroy me to see you with other man. Tomorrow will never ever be different than tonight. I will pick you up, and we will go to a nice date. If you are busy, I will give you a call and wish you a ‘goodmorning’. Trust me?”

She nods. She never felt as defenseless as she did that night. Being so open to get hurt, so fragile… Hanging to his words..

Believing the smile on his face.

Still, she felt it. That everything is going to be fine. That he’s going to fill the empty spot that has been there on her heart for so long.

He will.

Only Jung Yonghwa will.

***

The next day..

“Good morning Joohyun.”

She can’t help but smile. It is a busy day for her again but the different thing is that he is there.

All worn out and tired. But he is there. The man in her life is in fact standing in front of her door, unafraid of anything else, except of losing her.

It was so hard and we were so young
After all this time, I want to open the door
And fix the broken time

Day by day, my sighs increase
There are days I think of you without any reason
In the scattered and broken time
There’s one scene that I want to find, that I want to see
When you gave me your hand for the first time

“Why are your hands like that?”

She sighs.. her shyness was hidden under the dark night sky.

“Jasshik..”

Yonghwa changes their hand position. Instead of linking their arms, he held her hand tightly.

It was different than her appa.

It was a different man.

A man that she felt, she could spend her lifetime with.

-WGM 2010, Episode 27-

Author's Note

I know it has been a while. I've been a fan for more than 4 years by now. No matter what, continue to support them whether its together or individually. Let's not become a crazy shipper but a sensible one.

Till then, Gogus!