Yixing woke up suddenly, no transition from slumber to awareness, pulled from gray unconsciousness in the snap of two fingers. Sunlight slanted across the sheets, blinding him momentarily as he opened his eyes. Like gold-and-white candy canes, Lien said once, the way the light fractures through the blinds. Not really, Yixing thought then, but mornings are horrible times to argue with Lien, when she is always bright and cheery and Yixing’s still half-asleep.

He his side, reaching out for that familiar warmth, but his fingers touched nothing but emptiness. He smiled to himself. Lien probably went to buy fresh bread from the bakery around the corner from their house, as she feels the sudden urge to do every once in a while.

Yixing’s too old to go looking for her. He’ll about getting old and walking slowly when she comes back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“What’s this?”

“A house.” Yixing can’t look at Lien, scared to death of what he’ll see spelled out on her face. He concentrated instead on the rust-colored stones lining the walkway, leading up to the biggest commitment of his life.

A touch on his face startled him. He let out a breath he doesn't know he's holding. An unspoken question laid in Lien’s fingers as they cupped his face, tilting his head up.

Like jumping off a cliff, Yixing thought, covering Lien’s hands with his own.

He stepped off the edge.

“A house,” he repeated, voice low with nervousness. “Our house.”

Lien’s eyes widened. “Our house?” she repeated.

Yixing nodded. “It’s ours. I mean, if you want it, of course. To live here. With me, I mean. Together. Until we grow old….” He trailed off and mentally kicked himself on the head.

“Yixing ….are you asking me to marry you?”

He nodded again, mouth too dry to say anything.

The corner of Lien’s mouth lifted in an amused grin. “You know, other guys would get down on their knees and produce a ring with a big, fat rock.”

Yixing shrugged easily, masking his anxiety. “You know me, I like to be original. I’ll still get down on one knee, though,” he grinned as he bent down, “but instead of a ring, I’ll give you this.” He opened up his outstretched palm to reveal a large, copper key. “It’s the key to this house. So…will you marry me, even if I don’t have a ring with a big, fat rock?”

A few seconds ticked silently by, and Yixing cursed in his head. He knew he should’ve just gone to the jewelry store and bought the biggest ring they have instead of trying to be different and original. He began to stand up and opened his mouth, ready to offer to drive Lien to the store himself and let her choose whatever ring she wants.

A slight pressure of Lien’s fingers on his face was all the warning he got before Lien crushed him in an embrace, kissing him long and deep and Yixing doesn’t know if he was still holding his breath or if it was the happiness that’s suffocating him right now, but he doesn’t care.

When they broke apart Lien’s eyes were bright, and her smile outshined the morning sunlight she loves so much. Something constricted in Yixing’s chest as he touched the wetness on her cheeks.

“Hey,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. “What’s with the crying, huh? You’re supposed to be all happy and giddy now that you’re marrying me!”

Lien hiccupped-giggled into his shoulder, then punched him weakly in the arm.

“What’s this?” Yixing pulled away in mock anger. “Is this how you treat your boyfriend who is now your fiancé? Who just bought you a house? I changed my mind, I’m returning it-”

Lien kissed him again, intense and golden and stealing away his soul as only she can.

“I love you,” Lien whispered in his mouth, like she was telling a secret. And then she was running up the path, half-shouting, half-laughing her excitement.

“Come on,” she said from the white-painted doorway, impatient. “We have to see it together!”

A light breeze floated by, carrying the scent of autumn and hope and future, and Yixing grinned as he walked towards the rest of his life.

I’m home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yixing opened his eyes, sleepiness still clung onto his lashes. He blinked a couple of times, before his gaze settled on an old baby shoe on top of the dresser. He found it in one of the old boxes they kept in the attic, and even though he knew it belonged to one of his sons, for the life of him he couldn’t remember whom.

He had a fond smile on his face remembering those times when they first had the twins, the sleepless night, the constant feeding and supervision, the exhaustion.

He looked at the shoe again and made a mental note to ask Lien who the shoe belonged to when she come back. She would know, she always does.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Family, I’m home!” Yixing shouted as he closed the front door, carelessly dropping his bag on the floor.

“Sssshh!” Lien glared as she walked out of the nursery into the living room, hands on her hips. “I’ve just put them down to sleep and I swear, Zhang Yixing, I will kill you if you wake them up!”

Yixing walked forward to hug her with a smile, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “I take it the twins gave you lots of trouble today?”

She rolled her eyes as she hugged him back. “Aren’t they always? When one of them is hungry, the other is too. One cries and the other followed suit. Times like this, I really hate the twin genes in my family.”

Yixing chuckled deeply, knowing perfectly well his wife didn’t mean a word she said. “Well, you know what they say, double the trouble, double the pleasure.” That earned him a light smack on the arm accompanied by his wife’s rolling eyes.

They both stood at the nursery’s doorway, gazing at the two identical, pale yellow cribs. The two baby boys slept peacefully, head turning slightly to each other.

“They’re adorable quiet like this, aren’t they?” Lien whispered.

Yixing nodded, arms tightening slightly around her waist as the happiness of being with his family surged powerfully in his veins, his heart almost bursting with joy.

The serene moment was broken a few seconds later when one of the baby woke up and wailed loudly, which immediately followed by his twin. Lien sighed with an exasperated fondness and was ready to walk into the room when Yixing held her in her place.

“Why don’t you go and take a rest, mommy? I’ll handle our sons this time.”

That earned him a grateful smile and a kiss, and Yixing grinned as he reached down into one of the crib to pick up his son.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yixing lazily drifted back into consciousness, blinking slowly. He must have fallen asleep again. He stretched, then winced as he felt his bones crack. He can almost hear Lien now—

“Get up, you lazy old man! How did I end up with the slowest person in the world? Out of all the people in the universe, you, Zhang Yixing! Aiiiish, I’m going crazy! I’m not leaving any almond croissants for you! And no, none of your pouting and whining will get me this time, mister!”

-- and laughed. How many years has it been now since that moment? He knew that he’s old, can see it in the mirror each morning, but Lien has never been anything but young and vibrant in his eyes. Her brilliance kept them eternally twenty, the age where they first met each other.

Yixing yawned, not wanting to leave the warm nest of their bed. Must be a long line at the baker’s today, he thought, nodding off.

He’ll get up and whine the heck out of Lien for the almond croissant like he always does when she returns.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yixing watched on as Lien, his still beautiful wife hopped out of their private bathroom in a half buttoned pants and no shirt.

“Are you going to grin like an idiot at me, or help me pick out shirt?” Lien demanded. “They’re going to be here soon.”

“I got your shirt out already,” he said, and beckoned her close enough to steal a kiss and getting a smile for his trouble.

“Shouldn’t you be watching the food?” she murmured, petting his hair.

“Rice is in the cooker, and everything else is warming in the oven. We’re all set,” he mumbled as he held her closer, nuzzling his face on her neck.

She laughed as she swatted him away, sliding into the comfortable black shirt he’d laid out for her. “Stop that! We’re too old to behave like hormonal teenagers!”

Yixing grinned and shrugged. “I can’t help it; you’re still as beautiful as when we first met.”

Lien snorted as she finished buttoning her shirt. “Liar. I’m old and wrinkled, and I know that for a fact.”

He shook his head adamantly. “Never. I might be old and wrinkled; you, on the other hand, would always be young and beautiful to me.”

She rolled her eyes but leaned up to kiss his cheek. “You’re still a liar, but thanks anyway.”

He pulled her closer to hug her again, her hands squished between their chests as he squeezed her. “I love you, Lien.”

The door buzzed, and he snuck in one last kiss before she pushed at him. “You get the door, I’ll finish up here shortly.”

He patted her bottom as he passed, as she took one more look at the mirror. And at the front door he opened it with a smile, seeing Jia-long, his oldest son’s answering grin, his arm around his wife’s waist. And a third, very important guest, cuddled in the carrier in Jia-long’s hand, their tiny, one-month-old baby girl.

Behind them he saw his youngest son, Ju-long who was being dragged by his own two toddler sons while his wife followed behind them in amusement.

The small house was suddenly noisy with crying wails and running little children’s feet, exasperated shouts and amused laughter. As Yixing looked over to the other side of the room with one of his grandson in his arms, he caught Lien’s eyes as she cradled their granddaughter, both of them shared a look of content bliss.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yixing shifted, caught in that space between deep sleep and light consciousness. His arms reached out, but not finding what they seek, curled around a pillow.

“Lien…” he mumbled, a small frown etched on his worn face. “Lien…”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lien was silent as she unlocked the door and pushed it open. Dropping the keys on the floor, she shuffled towards their bedroom.

Yixing bent to pick them up. When he stood, his eyes landed on a framed picture on the counter. For a second he was immobile, transfixed by the sight: his friends and him, arms around each other with happiness, smiling so wide that it hurts to look at it. He cannot stop himself from focusing on their faces, so young and full of life and it felt like lifetimes ago.

Grief punched him in the stomach because it had been lifetimes ago, that he was the lone survivor of that band of friends. He had thought that he had no more tears left, but he was wrong. They spilled hotly down his worn cheeks, and all he can think of as his vision blurred before him, was that he missed his friends, so much, and now he could never talk to them again, hug them.

Cold metal bit his palm. He looked down blindly at his white-knuckled grip and hurled the keys at the picture, turning away before he can hear it shatter.

He found Lien curled on her side on the bed, motionless. Her eyes were open. Blank. Fear gripped Yixing at the morbid picture she painted, black clothes like a stark blot of ink on their white comforter, her figure unnaturally still.

Time is broken, halting and moving again with moments lost in between. Yixing doesn’t remember moving but he was suddenly gripping Lien, shaking her, screaming at her to move.

Lien touched his face, pulled him down next to her, and the tenderness in her touch undoes him.

“Don’t leave me, don’t leave me, don’t leave me,” Yixing whispered, again and again and Lien was holding him as if he might break if she lets go. “Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t leave you,” she said, voice gravelly with disuse. She hasn’t spoken since the funeral, though her hand never left Yixing’s during the whole service.

“I’m all alone now,” Yixing muttered, arms still gripping her tight. “With today’s funeral, I’m all alone now. I’ve buried my parents a long time ago, and I’ve buried the last of my friends today. All of my family and friends are gone and I’m the only one left.”

Lien’s hands that were caressing his hair was old and wrinkled, but to Yixing they still felt as soft and gentle as the first time he held her hand. “You still have me, remember? I’ll always be here with you.”

Yixing trembled, thought seized by what he fears most now. “I’m so selfish.” A sob choked him. He felt like he will never stop crying, as if he’s drowning in an ocean of his tears.

“You’re not, what are you talking abo--”

Yixing cried harder. “I am, I am, and I hate myself for it. I want to die first, I don’t want to be alone, because I--I don’t know--what I would do without you.” The words spilled from his mouth and he can’t stop talking, can’t even think about stopping. “Even though you would be the one alone, I still want to do it, I still want to die first. I’m such a coward and I’m so scared, Lien, I’ve never been so scared in my life.”

A slightly hysterical laugh bubbled out of her and she held Yixing tighter. When he looked up, finally, her smile was edged with tears.

“I promise I’ll let you die first,” she said, his hair. “And then I’ll come find you in Heaven.”

“Don’t wait too long,” Yixing whispered. “I’ll miss you until you do.”

“I promise.”

The grief was still there, hovering above them, but for now, everything is okay.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Yixing woke up again, it was midday. Sunlight shined across the foot of the bed, heavy and bright with dust motes dancing on its stage.

He remembered it all at once.

“You promised,” he whispered. His hands, lined with age, trembled against the covers. “You promised.”

Yixing closed his eyes and sighed out his last breath.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Yixing, did you miss me?”

“Not one bit. I found myself three girlfriends while you were gone.”

“…”
“Ow! Lien, that hurts!”

“Serves you right! I’m only forgiving you because I know you’re lying.”

“Yeah, well, I’m only forgiving you because I found you again.”

“…I’m sorry. For breaking my promise to not die first.”

“It’s okay. I kept your other one and find you again.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“...”
“OW! What was that one for?”

“Say it back!”

“…I love you too.”

“That’s better.”

“I really do. Um, love you, I mean.”

"I know, Yixing."