Once

Adverb

1. at one time in the past; formerly

2. even a single time; at any time; ever

December 16, 2011

It was a normal day for other people. Some go to work, some to school while most people prepare for Christmas. But today wasn’t normal for Kim Myungsoo. Because on this dreaded day exactly a year ago Myungsoo lost a part of him. He lost his life, his sunshine, his everything. He lost his Sungjong.

‘Sungjong.’ thought Myungsoo as he smiled warmly at his cup of coffee. Even now just the thought of his little angel’s name could make him smile. It was really ironic at how he would call Sungjong his angel then, and now, he literally was his angel that was watching him from up above.

Myungsoo finished the last of his coffee before going to the counter to buy one of those Christmas cakes that Sungjong liked so much. He then made his way to the exit of the coffee shop only to see a familiar face enter.

“Woohyun-hyung,” greeted Myungsoo catching the other’s attention.

“Myungsoo!” Woohyun replied cheerfully hugging the other male. “I thought I’d never see you again in here.”

“Why is that hyung?” asked Myungsoo curiously when the other let him go.

“Well… cause…” Woohyun was at a sudden loss for words. “Isn’t this where you and Jongie would meet back then?”

“Yeah,” Myungsoo replied rather weakly. This café was near the university the two of them go and the apartment that they lived together in which is why they made this shop their meeting place, and also because Sungjong deemed that the cakes here were super delicious. Honestly, even after Sungjong died Myungsoo would still come here and drink at least one cup of coffee. The place just brings so much memories and he could almost feel Sungjong’s warmth inside the shop.

“Sorry Myungsoo,” Woohyun said apologetically. “I brought up sad memories haven’t I?”

“No,” smiled Myungsoo reassuringly. “It’s the opposite hyung, since I have no sad memories of Sungjong, and I’m glad you still remember that about him.”

"Myungsoo," started Woohyun as he looked at Myungsoo while wearing a warm smile. "I'll never forget Jongie. Little balls of sunshine like him is just too hard to find."

"I know hyung," Myungsoo smiled.

"So whose the cake for?"

"I'm actually on my way to Sungjong's parents," explained the younger. "They invited me over for dinner tonight."

"It's already been a year, huh?" Woohyun sighed. "I feel like it was just a while ago that I made a corny joke and Sungjong pretended to gag in front of me." he then laughed at the sudden remembrance.

"You really are pretty corny hyung," Myungsoo laughed along.

"Yah! I worked hard on my jokes and I wait for the right timing too!" defended Woohyun.

"And yet we all laughed at Jongie's antics and side comments more than your joke," teased Myungsoo. "I've got to go now hyung, it was nice seeing you again."

"I hope I see you again," replied Woohyun with a warm smile. "I'll bring Sunggyu here next time."

As Myungsoo made his way to Sungjong's family house he stopped by the flower shop first. He bought a dozen Stargazers since it was his beloved's favorite flower.

Before he went to the Lee's family home he went to the cemetery where Sungjong now resides.

The feminine boy's grave was at the east part of the cemetery but it was also one of the parts often visited by people. Other people came not because they knew Sungjong but because there was a shady tree above a park bench beside his grave. The young boy was the one who requested that because even when he's dead he didn't want to be the cause of inconvenience to others.

As Myungsoo approached his lover's grave he noticed that scented candles where already placed there.

'His mom must have already visited,' thought the handsome boy as he placed the flowers between the candles.

"Hi Jongie," started Myungsoo as he sat on the cool grass. "It's already been a year since you went up there. Is it snowing up there just like it did yesterday? I remember how we would play in the snow when we were kids. You would always make the prettiest snow angels."

"I met Woohyun-hyung today," continued Myungsoo. "He still looks well and happy so I think things are going great for him and Gyu-hyung."

"I miss you Jongie," Myungsoo said after a moment of silence. "I know I didn't cause your death but I can't help but blame myself sometimes."

Flashback

"Hyung!" greeted Sungjong with a warm smile as his lover entered the hospital room he was residing in.

"Hi Jongie," replied Myungsoo as he approached his lovers bed and kissed him gently on the lips and then sat on the bedside. "I brought you that Christmas cake you wanted."

"Yay!" cried Sungjong happily as he received the beautifully wrapped cake box from Myungsoo. As soon as he opened it the fork in his hand instanly took a slice and then entered the pastry into his mouth. "Hmmm~ so good!"

Myungsoo smiled at how adorable his lover could be. He really admired Sungjong, even with his heart sickness like that the boy still managed to smile and appreciate little things in life.

"Neh hyung?" asked Sungjong all of a sudden bringing Myungsoo out of his reverie. "Can you take me to see the Christmas lights in the city?"

"But the doctor said that you couldn't leave the hospital anymore," replied Myungsoo. "He said it could worsen your condition."

"It's not like my condition could worsen hyung," Sungjong said. "Please Myungie? I really want it to be one of my last memories with you."

The way Sungjong was talking right now scared Myungsoo. It was as if he knew his time was near and Myungsoo didn't want to admit it but he knew his lover was right. In the recent days that passed Sungjong would stare out the window as if longing for something making Myungsoo more worried about that than the younger's sickness. But even with this thoughts Myungsoo couldn't deny his lover's request even though he desperately wants to refuse it.

"I'll ask your parents about it," Myungsoo replied finally earning him a huge but weak hug from the younger.

"You're the best lover ever Myungie!"

When Myungsoo got out of the room he searched for Sung Jong's parents and found them at the hospitals canteen.

"Mrs. Lee," greeted Myungsoo politely with a slight bow.

"Myungsoo!" cried Mrs. Lee smiling at him and you could instantly see where Sungjong got his angelic smile. "Sit sit," she then patted on the seat beside her which Myungsoo happily obliged.

"Mrs. Lee, Sungjong asked me to take him to see the Christmas lights tonight," Myungsoo said rather quietely but audibly.

"I know," Mrs. Lee replied sadly. "You feel it too, don't you Myungsoo? Our baby Jongie's slowly slipping away."

Myungsoo couldn't reply. So even his parents feel it.

"It's alright," Mr. Lee interjected. "At least he wouldn't move on with us unprepared."

"This is so typical of him," Mrs. Lee replied with a small smile but you could see the tears daring to fall from her eyes. "Which is why if Sungjong requested for you to take him out then go and bring him wherever he wants. I regret nothing," Mrs. Lee ended tears finally breaking free. "Oh my, what's this? I promised Jongie I wouldn't cry."

When Myungsoo got back to Sungjong's room and delivered the news to the boy made Sungjong's face brighten up making Myungsoo feel that maybe nothing bad will happen.

"We'll go out tonight," Myungsoo said. "In the meantime let's pick warm clothes for you."

When Myungsoo deemed Sungjong warm enough with his clothes they started to make their way to the night city outside, but with a little request from Sungjong first.

"Carry me hyung," Sungjong asked cutely.

"Are you serious Jongie?" asked Myungsoo disbelievingly but smiled at his boyfriend's adorable expression. "Fine. Get on my back."

"Yay!" cried the younger as he wrapped his arms around the other's neck.

"It's a good thing you're as light as a feather."

When the duo got out of the hospital their eyes were met by a marvelous sight. It was as if the whole city was covered by a white blanket that had different colored Christmas lights as a design. Every lamp post was twirled around many different colored lights and the different shops had different Christmas themes but nonetheless they were vibrant and wonderful.

"Uwah!!" cried Sungjong utterly amazed. "It looks so pretty Myungie!!"

"Just like you?" teased the elder as they started their walk.

"You're so cheezy like Hyunnie-hyung," laughed the feminie boy. "How are things between him and Gyu-hyung?"

"They're doing great," Myungsoo replied. "Woohyun even screamed from the roof top of their apartment that they would last forever."

"I wish we could have been like that hyung, sorry," said Sungjong as he rested his head on the crook of Myungsoo's nape.

"Don't say that Sungjongie," Myungsoo said sternly. "The little moments I spend with you is more than forever."

"I'm glad about that hyung," said Sungjong and he smiled as he closed his eyes. "Sing me a song please."

"What song dou you want Jongie," asked Myungsoo.

"Any song hyung," replied Sungjong rather quietly. "As long as I hear your voice."

Myungsoo then sang a simple lullaby to his beloved. He continued singing even though from one point he was the only one listening as the little angel behind his back didn't open his eyes anymore.

End of Flashback

"You must be getting angry at me right now for remembering such things," Myungsoo said as tears fell from his eyes. "Sorry for crying in front of you Jongie."

"Myungsoo-hyung?" a soft voice from behind called making Myungsoo's eyes widened as his head spun around.

"Jongie!" cried Myungsoo hopingly but was disappointed to see Sungjong's little brother instead. "Oh, it's you Seongkyu."

"Hi hyung," Seongkyu said with a small smile while holding a bunch of different colored flowers. He was still wearing his uniform so he must have just gotten out of school. "You're visiting Jongie-hyung too?"

"Yup," replied Myungsoo with a small smile.

"Hyung must be really happy right now," Seongkyu said as he approached the grave then placed his flowers beside Myungsoo's. "You always did make him smile."

"I only wish I could still see it."

"You and I both," sighed the smaller boy. "Now, come on hyung, or else umma will be worried."

"You go on ahead Seongkyu," smiled the elder. "I'll just say goodbye to your brother."

"Ok then hyung," replied Seongkyu as he walked away from the grave.

Myungsoo then faced his beloved's grave once again with a small smile on his face.

"I'll be going now Jongie," started Myungsoo. "Your mom will be worried if I go there any later and I know you want me to take care of them in your place. Watch over us Sungjong and I love you. "

As Myungsoo said those last words he felt a small breeze go by as he felt a familiar warmth engulf his body. He smiled up at the sky for he knew it was Sungjong's way of saying 'I love you too'.

Done!

I'm not really sure about the name of Sung Jong's little brother and I haven't found a decent recent picture of him either.

so what do you think?? is it crappy or not? please comment so you could tell me how I did!!

PS: I was a little bit inspired by the anime Angel Beats