"Hyung," Jungkook cocked his head, eyeing Yoongi curiously. "Are you getting blind?"

 

Yoongi's hand faltered for a second, as he exhaled heavily. 

"Just because sometimes I wear glasses, it doesn't mean I'm getting blind. I can see without them."

 

Jungkook hummed pensively. He had been watching Yoongi for almost an hour now; his hyung was sitting at his desk in the corner of the bedroom, writing something with deep concentration.

"Then why do you wear them?"

 

"Because it's hard for me to read and write at night, even with the lights on," Yoongi explained. "I like doing them at late hours, though."

 

Jungkook crawled on the bed, until he was sitting on its edge.

"What are you writing about?"

 

"Things," Yoongi shrugged. "Just... things."

 

"About yourself?" Jungkook insisted. "About me?"

 

Yoongi laughed at that.

"I don't think it's the right moment for you to know, but someday you will."

 

Jungkook huffed, but just like always, he held onto Yoongi's words.

 

 

 

 

 

If only he knew that day would never come.

 

 

 

 

 

The first time Jungkook saw Yoongi cry, the sky was crying too. Everything was grey and silent, and the smell of alcohol filled the whole room.

Jungkook didn't know what to do, so he cried too.

 

He cried for all the times he couldn't help Yoongi, resulting in pain and tears.

He cried because someone so fragile and kind like Yoongi didn't deserve any of this.

He cried because he didn't know for how long they would be able to stay together.

And finally, he just cried for Yoongi and himself, because for them there was no such thing as forever.

 

 

 

 

 

Jungkook loved Yoongi's hands. He had long, lean fingers that always ran through Jungkook's hair just right. The palm of his hands were soft and a little cold, but they warmed up easily under Jungkook's touch. When they held hands, it felt incredibly good, and yet Jungkook's heart would always skip a beat.

"Perhaps it is because I'm holding my happiness between my fingers," he absentmindedly whispered.

 

"What?" Yoongi mumbled the question. He was half asleep on the small sofa, his head resting against Jungkook's shoulder.

 

Sleepy Min Yoongi was really beautiful. His expression was peaceful like a child's, extremely different from the one he'd had on his face the first time they slept together. At that time, it seemed to Jungkook that Yoongi was terrified of the dark, holding onto his lighter so tightly that it bruised the sensible skin of his hand. Jungkook felt like his presence helped Yoongi in some way, and he was happy for that.

"Nothing," Jungkook shook his head, smiling contently. "Nothing at all."

 

 

 

 

 

They didn't hold hands outside Yoongi's apartment. Jungkook tried to convince his hyung that it was a normal thing between friends, but he never succeeded. 

 

"For the last time, Jungkookie, I am not your friend." Yoongi shoved his hands inside his pockets, picking up his pace.

 

It was six in the morning and the streets were almost empty, while the sky was crowded with dark clouds. It was going to rain soon, but that wasn't news these days.

 

"But you're my boyfriend," Jungkook said, desperately trying to win just this little argument.

 

Yoongi immediately froze on his tracks, and Jungkook found himself regretting his words.

 

"You really don't need to announce that to the world," Yoongi said rather low.

 

Jungkook watched as Yoongi resumed walking, not even once glancing at him. He honestly didn't know if he wanted to kiss or punch Yoongi.

 

"Why not?" The question escaped Jungkook's lips before he could stop it. "Are you ashamed of me?"

 

Yoongi laughed, but it wasn't a pleasant sound. He sounded tired, as though he had ran a million miles to find something important, just to realize that such thing was gone.

 

"Don't talk nonsense," Yoongi finally stopped on the corner of the street.

 

"Are you perhaps afraid for me then?" Jungkook tried, and this time Yoongi turned to look at him.

 

"Why wouldn't I be?" Yoongi whispered furiously. "You're just a boy, and you like another boy."

 

Jungkook stared into Yoongi's eyes as he stated, "I don't care about that."

 

Yoongi took one, two, three, four long steps until they were face to face, watching each other with pained expressions, but their eyes were still impossibly gentle.

 

"This is not a movie, Jungkookie," Yoongi said, no trace of anger in his voice. "This is real life, and things aren't that simple here."

 

Jungkook knew that, he just really wished he didn't.

 

 

Suddenly, it started raining.

 

Yoongi was so breathtakingly beautiful in the rain.

 

 

 

 

 

After that argument, they still didn't hold hands in public, and Yoongi was quite reserved when they were standing side by side. The only difference was that, now Yoongi's hands always found their way to Jungkook's shoulders, as if reassuring that they were okay. The action became so common between them, that even Jungkook started doing the same.

 

 

 

What is love? For most people, this question remains. For Jungkook, it's the little things.

 

 

 

 

 

Everybody has a good and a dark side. Yoongi preferred to call them qualities and flaws. Some people had more qualities than flaws, which made them pleasant people, not flaw-free. Other people had more flaws than qualities, which made them ugly to society's eyes.

 

 

 

Yoongi was an ugly person, and just like any other ugly person, he succumbed far too easily.

 

 

 

 

 

"I could have hurt you," Yoongi winced in pain. His right hand was bleeding due to another trashing episode.

 

Jungkook came home to find Yoongi breaking everything. Although it killed him to see his hyung like this, it wasn't surprising anymore.

 

One month earlier, Jungkook had found Yoongi bleeding in the bathroom floor. He had told Jungkook that he fell and cut his forehead, and was too drunk to get up.

But the mirror was shattered.

 

 

Even when things seemed to be under control, they weren't. Not really.

 

 

In the darkest days, Jungkook would hug Yoongi until he was nothing but trembling limbs pressed against his own. He would hum old songs and promise to not let go.

Jungkook didn't like fighting fire with fire, he'd rather fight it with love.

 

"But you didn't," he had been trying to clean Yoongi's hand for the past ten minutes, but his hyung wouldn't stand still.

 

"I might hurt you someday," Yoongi insisted, pulling his hand away.

 

"Yoongi stop that now!" They both ended up stopping their movements. It was the first time Jungkook referred to Yoongi without honorific, it felt weird.

It felt real.

 

Yoongi hung his head as a deep sigh escaped his lips. He looked more tired than usual.

"I don't want to hurt you, I'm scared."

 

Jungkook held his breath. Being aware of someone's fear was one thing, now actually hearing them admit it was something else entirely.

 

"You're not going to hurt me," Jungkook stated. He had to be strong. "Besides, I can take care of myself. I can take care of us."

 

Yoongi watched as Jungkook took his hand again and kept cleaning it.

Yoongi watched as Jungkook's eyes focused on his work. His lips were slightly pursed, and his heart was wide open.

Yoongi watched because that was all he could do.

 

"Do you really think you can do it?" He found himself asking.

 

Jungkook did not stutter.

"I can try."

 

Silence fell between them, cold and uncomfortable. This conversation still wasn't over.

 

"This isn't right, Jungkookie." Really not over.

 

"I know, okay?" Jungkook's fingers automatically squeezed Yoongi's. "I know, but I don't mind."

It was true. No matter how many times he had tried to tell himself that this was wrong, that he should care about the fact that this wasn't going to end up well, he couldn't. Just... couldn't.

 

"That's what you always say, but I don't understand," Yoongi's left hand found Jungkook's cheek. It was a light touch, but it meant so much to both of them. "You should mind."

 

"I love you, that's to that." Jungkook closed his eyes, leaning into Yoongi's palm. "I just want to be with you for as long as possible."

 

"What a strong headed brat you are," Yoongi tried to sound mad, but he was smiling.

 

"Hm," Jungkook nodded. "Your favorite strong headed brat."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yoongi didn't plan it, of course not. He would never plan to break a precious heart, and yet...

And yet, there are things in life that are inevitable, especially when you're dealing with someone as inconstant as Yoongi.

Then again, it's not like they didn't see it coming. Stars collapse way before exploding.

The ending was quite obvious, but these two... oh, they were too stubborn to accept their fate was it was.

 

Or perhaps, they were just too in love.

 

 

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Miuna here, sorry for taking so long to update, I kinda regretted everything and was too lazy to rewrite.

anyway, thank you for reading. please tell me what you think, send me suggestions, I'll surely take everything in consideration.

see you guys in the next chapter ;))))