ii

 

"I honestly can't believe she said yes,"

 

Jungkook looked over at his best friend Taehyung, as they walked to the train together and the latter took a bite out of his candy bar before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

 

"I know," he sighed and ran a hand through his hand. "Man I just-- I was so shocked. I still can't believe it,"

 

His steps felt light as they crossed the street and went down the stairs to the train. They swiped their cards in the machine then walked to the end of the platform where another group of students were waiting by the doors for the next train to come. Jungkook adjusted the straps of his bookbag and leaned forward on the tip of his toes while Taehyung shot him a funny look.

 

"What do you even think made this time different than the last?"

 

Taehyung had been witness to every single proposal since freshman year. The cliche teddy bear and heart shaped chocolates at her desk, the birthday balloons with a card, the lunch date that turned into a stuttering fest for Jungkook and Taehyung's personal favorite, the powerpoint presentation that he did in physics class junior year, that had Sana blushing for a week.

 

What was so special about the Festival of Lights? And this time Jungkook didn't even plan an elaborate way to ask her, he had just strolled over to her locker and asked and she just said yes? Taehyung shrugged and took another bite of his candy bar.

 

"I don't know, maybe she felt sorry for you?"

 

Jungkook frowned down at his friend and was just about to open his mouth when the train finally came and everyone shuffled forward to get on as the doors slid open.

 

"She doesn't feel sorry for me," he mumbled underneath his breath.

 

 

ii

 

 

"Chocolate or strawberry?"

 

Momo scratched the top of her head before reaching for the strawberry bottle of milk and handing it to Sana as she put it in the basket. "I drink too much chocolate. I need to try something new every now and then,"

 

"Okay," Sana snorted. They walked down the rest of the aisle and picked out various other snacks like chips, Pocky, two ice cream sandwiches and finally a pack of gum. The store wasn't partically crowded so when they went up to the counter, it didn't take long. Both girls played rock, paper, scissors to see who would pay and Sana lost unfortunately which had Momo cackling into her arm and squeezing her hand. 

 

"Maybe next time?"

 

"I always lose every time," she pouted. Sana pulled out her wallet from her school bag and handed over a few dollars to the woman who smiled sweetly before giving her change and handing them their bag.

 

"I think we need to pick a new game,"

 

"No way," Momo shook her head quickly. They both ended up laughing at that and walked the rest of the way to the bus stop that would take them to their neighborhood.

 

On the way there, they passed an animal shelter that had been there for about as long as Sana could remember. She had had memories of looking into the window and sometimes pulling her mom inside when she would walk her to school when she was younger. That seemed like such a far away memory that she couldn't help but chuckle as she stared back at the doors. It was painted a mint green color now and there were new designs along the glass with paw print stickers along the frame of the door. An older man was sweeping the front steps and looked up just as Sana caught his eyes. He sent a simple wave and she did as well.

 

The bus was packed and Momo squeezed through people once they got on and was able to find them a seat in the back. Another girl had on the same uniform as their school and Sana thought she recognized her from literature class but she wasn't too sure. As usual, Momo leaned her head against her shoulder and they both shared an ear bud since the ride was rather long. Momo scrolled through her playlist before choosing OH MY GIRL's I Found Love. The summer before senior year, Momo had developed a major obsession with the group and had went out and bought all their mini albums, posters, and dragged Sana to a fansign event in which she almost fainted from shock. 

 

 

Needless to say, this song was nothing new but Sana chose not to say anything and instead listen to the lyrics while staring out the window.

 

Only time will tell

Oh now that I found love

When I'm not looking at you

You were looking at me

Oh yeah oh yeah

Now that I found love

 

Immediately Sana's thoughts strayed to the end of class and Jungkook coming up to her with the same wobbly smile and shaky fingers that were so familiar, it was second nature to her. Ever since freshman year when they were both placed in the same history class, Jungkook and Sana had somehow became it. It was weird to explain with words but the gangly freshman with bunny teeth and his NINTENDO DS in his back pocket, had became fast friends with the awkward teenager with braces and pimples that she tried so hard to cover up with BB Cream. 

 

From that point on the two became fast friends somehow, finding interest in the same things such as music, movies, tv shows, celebrities and sports. Around the winter holiday just before classes were to end, Jungkook relayed his very first confession to Sana at the mall as they shopped for presents for their parents. They were bundled up due to the cold weather and Jungkook had mumbled so quietly underneath his breath that Sana didn't hear him until he said it again. Sana remembered smiling and just shaking her head as she politely rejected him and rubbed his arm. 

 

"Not ready, yet." She grinned. 

 

So she was ready now? She laid her hands in her lap and smiled as a different song began to play. She thinks so.

 

 

ii

 

 

Along the way, Taehyung and Jungkook split up to go to their houses; Taehyung to meet his little brother and help  him with his homework while Jungkook worried over what to wear for his first official date. 

 

He unlocked the front door to his house and stepped inside, kicking his shoes off and padding into the kitchen where his mother was.  She was preparing dinner while his baby sister, Junyul, who was seated on the counter in her holder and played with the toys that hung from the bar above her. Jungkook smiled and poked her chubby cheek while she squealed and clapped her hands before his mom turned around and rubbed the back of his head gently. 

 

"How was school?"

 

"It was okay," he shrugged. He set his bag down and leaned his back against the cabinets while smiling widely. His mom wiped her hands on the front of her apron and raised an eyebrow at him. They both had the same look on their faces but she was more suspicious than anything.

 

"What happened? Did Taehyung get his foot stuck in the bleachers again?" she sighed loudly. 

 

"No mom!" Jungkook snorted. "He didn't something else though..."

 

"Did you forget to bring a change of underwear for gym class again?" she narrowed her eyes. "I told you if you don't wear any boxers under--"

 

"Mom!" he blushed red and shook his hands frantically. "Please! No it's not that! Jeez why are you thinking of these things suddenly?!"

 

She laughed loudly, holding a hand up to before turning back around to the stove and mixing the noodles that were starting to boil. "Well then what is it? You are not saying anything Kookie,"

 

The eighteen year old sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose while Junyul made babbling noises behind him. "I asked Sana out and she finally said yes,"

 

The spoon that his mom used to stir the noodles clattered to the floor loudly and his mom spun around before screaming. She literally threw her hands up in the air and screamed, startling the nine month old, who looked at her with wide eyes and stopped playing with her toys. Jungkook jumped too and he almost had a heart attack when his mom ran over to him and grabbed his hands so they could jump around in a little circle. 

 

"OH MY GOD! SHE SAID YES!"

 

"SHE SAID YES!"

 

"YOU'RE FINALLY GOING ON YOUR FIRST DATE!"

 

"SANA ACTUALLY ACCEPTED YOU!"

 

It was a silly sight to see actually. A grown woman jumping up and down in the kitchen with her son who was a head taller than her and towered over her small frame. But that's what they did, they jumped up in a small circle right as the water from the pot boiled to the top and cheered and shouted with each other, until Jungkook's dad ran downstairs to see what all the commotion was about. He was confused as to why they were celebrating in the kitchen and he was even more confused about why Jungkook was so happy. He walked over slowly anyway and picked up Junyul as she continued to stare in shock, not taking her big brown eyes off of them.

 

"Is everything okay?" he shouted.

 

No one heard him at first and he frowned before repeating himself. "Kim! Is everything okay?"

 

Jungkook was the first to stop, and his mom followed suit until she was taking a deep breath and fanning herself with her hand before turning with a wide smile on her face towards her husband. Her face was flushed and her hair was all over the place but he just waited.

 

"Sana finally said yes!" she squealed.

 

The older man's eyes bulged and he stared at his son in shock before waving a hand. "You mean Minatozaki Sana? Freshman year Sana with the braces?"

 

"Yes!" Jungkook nodded his head quickly. "I wanted to take her to the Festival of Lights tonight and she said yes,"

 

Mr. Jeon could only sigh in awe as he continued to stare at his son before looking down at his daughter and patting the top of her head. "I can't believe-- it's been years. What's different now?"

 

Jungkook shrugged, "maybe she likes lights?"

 

 

ii 

 

 

"What's so special about the Festival of Lights anyway?" Momo asked her as she sat back against the headboard and took a bite off a stick of Pocky. 

 

Sana looked over at her friend and blew out a heavy sigh before frowning. "It's such a beautiful thing to see at night. I've never went but all those fireworks at night lighting up the sky is probably amazing to see,"

 

Momo took another bite and glanced down at Sana. "No, I mean like why are you going with Jungkook suddenly?"

 

Sana was a bit surprised at her question but sat up a little bit more anyways. "I actually want to. I know it may seem kind of silly, even stupid but I feel ready to go out this time,"

 

"It took you four years to get ready?" Momo raised her eyebrow.

 

"Shut up!" she punched her arm. "That's not what I mean-- just like I feel like he's finally proven to me, that's all,"

 

"Proven what? That he's obsessed with you?" she rubbed her arm.

 

"Yes,"

 

"Wait what?"

 

Sana grabbed the pillow that was behind her and lifted it up to hold against her face when she felt the blood crawling up her neck. Her fingers held onto the material tightly when Momo tried to grab it from her and the latter eventually laughed until she was rising up on her knees and wrestling with her to pull it away.

 

"Sana yah! You like that boy being obsessed with you?! Huh?"

 

The pillow was finally wretched out of her grasp and she fell back in defeat while Momo held the pillow above her head and stared at her with a questioning look.

 

"I just wanted to make sure that he really liked me you know? That his feelings for me were the same as they were freshman year. He's done nothing but be persistent and continued to find ways to ask me even after the countless times I said no. I guess, I don't know it just felt good to know that he was willing to wait for me I guess."

 

Her chest felt so funny as she said all of this that she didn't know what else to do when Momo continued to stare at her and only brought the pillow down to hug her chest with a weird smile.

 

"What's with that face?" she said wearily.

 

"Can't believe you actually like him now,"

 

"Yah!" she grabbed the other pillow and chucked it hard at her best friend who yelped and flipped off the bed, landing on the carpeted floor with a hard thud.

 

"Sana!" her arm flailed from the floor and she stuck her head back up after a second with a deep frown on her face while her best friend laughed and clutched her stomach on the bed.

 

"I'm going to kill you!"

 

ii

 

Jungkook's fingers hovered above the keyboard as he looked down at his cellphone. 

Sana's name was across the top of the message and he took a deep breath while chewing on his bottom lip. He was just going to text her for God's sake! Why was he freaking out so much? How would he be able to pull himself together when they meet up in person later?

Calm down, don't think so far ahead he sighed.

He looked down at the screen again and started his message.

 

To: Sana (My Sun)

It starts at eight, so I'll pick you up at 7:15 if that is alright with you? If you want me to pick you up later or earlier just let me know okay?

 

As soon as he sent the message, he turned his phone over and got up from his desk as he began pacing back and forth in his bedroom. Was it too early to tell her? Should he have waited? But it was already 5...so maybe it was good that he had sent the message. Just so she could have time to prepare and everything. Right? His brain was running so fast that he almost jumped out of his skin when his phone buzzed on the desk a minute later.

He almost broke his nose lunging for that stupid thing. 

 

From: Sana (My Sun)

Okay! :D I'm so excited, I can't wait! Don't be late, I'll be waiting for you

 

Jungkook actually blinked three times as he read the message over and held the phone up to his chest before smiling. If he could sing, he would have belted out Lee Hi's My Star  and opened his window to serenade his neighbors and the dogs at the house next door. He actually climbed onto his bed and jumped up and down in excitement before falling back with a huff and a ridiculous smile on his face that could have cured cancer. It was such a simple response but it felt nice to know that their feelings for tonight were the same.

 

"Dad!" he suddenly shouted.

 

He heard footsteps carry across the hardwood floor before his door was opened gently, and the older man peeked his head in curiously. "What's up?"

 

"I can borrow the car tonight right? I promise I won't mess it up or get it dirty and I'll be back at one anyways! Please?" he actually had the nerve to jut his lips out in a pout that was low even for him but he had to impress Sana to the fullest tonight.

 

His dad stepped further into the room and folded his arms across his chest with a raise of his eyebrows. "The Civic right?"

 

"Yes,"

 

"And no funny business. Just pick her up and get both of you there in one piece and back right?"

 

"Yes,"

 

"No speeding and seat belts at all time right?"

 

"Dad," Jungkook groaned. "I'm eighteen and I took my test and passed already remember?"

 

"That was only two months ago!" he said with wide eyes. "So let me be a little scared for my baby will you?"

 

Jungkook scoffed and sat up on his bed. "I thought your kids were your babies?"

 

"Junyul is my baby, then mom, the Civic and last, you,"

 

"Hey!"

 

Mr. Jeon shook with laughter but Jungkook only frowned at the man before he finally stopped laughing and wiped the tears at the edge of his eyes.

 

"Okay okay, you can use the car tonight. Just be careful alright, I want you both to have a good time and come back in one piece alright?"

 

Jungkook smiled and saluted his dad before the man rolled his eyes and closed the door as he left. As soon as he could hear the footsteps dissapear from his door, he picked up his phone again and sent a message to Sana.

 

To: Sana (My Sun)

Me too and I never went before so this is my first time

 

He hoped that he didn't sound weird but just shrugged that thought away when she replied back.

 

From: Sana (My Sun)

Same! Momo is jealous because you're taking me. Thank you!

 

To: Sana (My Sun)

Anything for you :D

 

His cheeks flushed red as he re-read the message and laid the phone against his chest. That was so risky, oh my god why would he even think of sending that? He felt his toes curl anxiously and he wished that he could go back and erase that. Now it was floating through internet waves and across poles and probably already on her screen by now.

God, why did he have to say that-- his phone buzzed and he picked it up so quickly that it dropped on his face, smacking his nose as he frowned and rubbed the skin.

 

From: Sana (My Sun)

If you say something like that then I really will burst from feels, Jeon Jungkook :) 

 

Jungkook did not screech. He did not let out an unmanly scream and punch his Iron Man pillow out of joy after reading that. He didn't at all and he didn't have a ridiculous smile blossoming on his face.

 

ii

 

It was already 6:31 and Sana didn't have any clue of what to wear. Her and Momo both stood in her walk in closet, going through racks of clothes and tossing articles of clothing on the floor that almost covered their feet.

 

She had so many things to wear but everything either seemed too dressy or underwhelming and sloppy. She got tired of looking at jeans and high waisted shorts. Most of the things still had tags on them and she frowned in distaste as she looked over at her friend and let out a deep sigh.

 

"Find anything?"

 

Momo moved another hanger to the side before pulling down a simple peach colored sundress and whirled around to show her. "What about this?"

 

The dress is simple but also pretty and Sana can't help but smile at her best friend as she nods her head eagerly. "Seriously what would I do without you?"

 

"Wither away in despair," she shrugs. Both girls chuckle and Momo leads her back to the full length mirror, handing her the dress and running back to the closet to pull out a denim jacket and sandals that match with the white pattern along her dress. "This will look okay, it's summery and pretty,"

 

"You'll help me with my hair and make up right?"

 

"You'll help me with my calculus homework tomorrow?"

 

"How is that the same thing?"

 

Momo frowns at her and Sana laughs, leaning over to kiss her cheek gently. "Of course I will,"

 

While Sana changes into her clothes, Momo puts on some music and Mamamoo's Girl Crush starts to play and the latter grabs the remote control to the TV before she starts singing along and moving around in place to shake her hips. 

 

"Momo!" Sana laughs. "You're getting distracted!"

 

The blonde haired girl whirls around and whips her hair before smiling. "But I love Mamamoo!"

 

"I thought you loved OH MY GIRL?"

 

"OH MY GIRL are my daughters, I would marry everyone in Mamamoo. There's a difference" she says with a straight face.

 

Sana can't stop laughing as she pulls up the straps of the dress and smooths down the front before turning every way to get a good look at herself. It's almost perfect. She quickly goes to sit down at her desk and after the song is finished, Momo changes it to F(x)'s Papi.

 

They decide on something simple and apply some foundation and a little blush but otherwise keep it natural as Sana is just naturally pretty, or so Momo decides. As she's just finishing applying eyeliner, Sana hands her the curling iron and she plugs it into the outlet and while they wait for it to heat up, Sana puts on some lip gloss. 

 

"You look excited," Momo chuckles. 

 

"Because I am," she smiles. Jungkook is nice, sweet, and attentive to her and Sana would never admit it out loud, even to her best friend, but she wants this to work out so badly. Jungkook is everything and more as she's watched him through high school. He went from scrawny little freshman to a confident senior and even though he's changed, it's only been a physical one-- everything else like his personality and his smile and the crinkle at the edge of his eyes is all still there. 

It's never left once. 

 

Momo clicks her tongue and picks the curling iron up as soon as the light turns green and she does soft waves on Sana, just doing her ends and lightly ruffling her hair out until it looks full and her curls are wavy.

 

"Is it okay?"

 

"I look so pretty! Thank you Momo!"

 

When she sets the curling iron down, Sana hugs her around the waist and it's already 6:50 when she looks over at the clock on the wall. "You're welcome, but put the rest of your stuff on, Jungkook will be here at 7:15 right?"

 

ii 

 

 

Armani or Calvin Klein?

 

Jungkook looks down at the bottles of cologne before him and takes a deep breath before closing his eyes. He counts down from five and spins around three times before shooting his hand out forward and grabbing a bottle. 

 

One eye peeks open slowly and he smiles as he holds the Armani bottle up. "Good choice, good choice," he says to himself. 

 

He lightly sprays himself a few times with it then turns back to his mirror and smooths down his dress shirt. He decided to go with a white button up shirt and some dark wash jeans and boots. He fixes a stray hair in the mirror and smiles to himself before he reaches for his phone, wallet, and the keys that his dad had brought in earlier. 

 

"Are you ready?"

 

Jungkook purses his lips and goes over the last thirty minutes when he had gave himself a pep talk in the shower and nods his head. "I'm ready, let's just have fun and enjoy it,"

 

He nods, satisfied with himself and shuts off the light before leaving his room and going downstairs. His parents are seated on the couch, his mom watching The Entertainer while his dad the side of her arm as she rests against him. The scene makes him smile and he takes a deep breath before stepping forward a liittle. 

 

"I'm gonna leave guys,"

 

His dad is the first to turn around and his mom pauses the TV as she looks back too and smiles when she sees her son. "You look good!"

 

"Thanks," he chuckles. "I'm gonna go pick her up now and we're just going to go to the festival then afterwards eat and probably catch a movie. Alright?"

 

"That's fine. Just be careful and watch out for her. Be a gentleman,"

 

"I will don't worry Mom,"

 

She nods and his dad grins before giving him a thumbs up. "Have a good time and no scratches I mean it," he glares at the last part. 

 

His mom slaps dad's chest and he laughs while rolling his eyes. "I know, I know. Love you guys, I'll be back later,"

 

"Love you!" they call back and Jungkook unlocks the door and steps outside just as he hears his mom shout, "take lots of pictures!"

 

There's still some time to spare before he get's to Sana's house, so Jungkook stops at a small floral shop and smiles when he looks through the windshield and sees that it's still open. He shuts the car off and grabs his wallet before making his way inside to spot an old woman at the counter, reading a magazine with designs on it. 

 

"Can I help you?" she looks up at Jungkook.

 

"Yeah...um I was wondering if you had any lavenders? I'm looking for a bouquet,"

 

She smiles warmly at him and holds up a finger before getting off her stool and walking around to go through the aisles. "There should be some around here,"

 

There are so many plants in the store, hanging from the cieling in pots, in the windows, and lined up along tables and racks that Jungkook can only look around and stare curiously at the different ones and bouquets. He follows the woman all the way to the back where she looks through a table of plants, before she shakes her head and then goes to a different corner. It looks like a fridge but she opens the door and finally makes an ah ha sound before grabbing down a bouquet. 

 

"One right here and it's the last one too,"

 

Jungkook says a silent prayer and smiles to himself. "Thank you ahjumma, how much is this?"

 

He follows her back to the counter and she waves her hand before typing in the register. "I'll give you discount since you remind me of my son,"

 

A blush covers his cheeks and he smiles while rubbing the back of his neck shyly. "A-Are you sure? I can pay whatever the price is, you don't have to do that ahjumma,"

 

"No no no," she shakes her head. "I insist,"

 

"Okay," he sighs. "Thank you," and he bows while she smiles and rings him up before he hands her the money. 

 

With the flowers purchased, Jungkook feels another weight lift off his chest and he checks the time again before hurrying to his car and getting inside as he starts the engine. He makes sure to put his seatbelt on and while he's backing out slowly, he turns on the radio and taps his fingers along to the beat of Dean's song on the steering wheel. As he's switching lanes, his mind begins to drift to ideas of Sana and him. Of what she looks like, how she's done her hair this time even though it's fine every time he sees her. His lips curl up when he imagines what they'll do tonight. Honestly he just really wants to hold her hand more than anything, he wants her to feel safe and comfortable in his presence. He wants her to thread their fingers together and feel their skin together.

 

He can imagine the way she would blush as he dragged her closer, the way her eyes would light up at the fireworks and the smile that would blossom as they both stared at each other afterwards. He hoped that they would hold hands throughout the night. Afterwards he would  take her to the movies and she could pick anything she wanted as long as she was happy then he was fine. He's so excited that he wants to get to her house sooner but this stupid red light keeps him from moving.

 

As he changes the radio station to the next song, he hears a loud screech of tires from behind him and he looks through the rearview mirror to see a semi truck with it's lights flashing, speeding down the road. His eyes widen and he feels the blood rush to his ears as he sees the truck heading straight his way with no sign of stopping. Immediately his hand flies to the gear shift to reverse the car but the stick is stuck in place and he jams it repeatedly before he can hear the sound getting louder and closer.

 

He reaches for his seatbelt and hurriedly tries to eject the strap but it won't budge and he screams in frustration as he throws his full body against the door of the car to try to break himself free.

 

"No no no! No please!" His hands grabs at the door and shoves at it as he feels tears gather in his eyes and his heart jerk widly in his chest.

 

The sound is deafening in his ears and he looks up through the rearview mirror one last time as headlights flood him from behind.

 

 

ii

 

 

"Maybe he's just late. Traffic is probably bad where he's at,"

 

Sana looks down at her phone and it's already 7:32. Jungkook is not one to strike her as being late, especially tonight but she can't help but feel a nagging feeling settle in the pit of her stomach. 

 

She sits next to Momo on the front steps and looks down at her hands before nervously rubbing her palms together and sighing. 

Where are you Jungkook?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jungkook's picture frame above his coffin stares back at her but Sana can't bring herself to say anything as she cries silent tears and feels her hand being squeezed on her left. Momo sits to her other side and has been keeping her head down most of the time, wiping her eyes from time to time and sniffling. 

 

Jungkook's mom is sobbing too hard to even speak, her tears stream down her face in a torrent as her husband holds their daughter in his arms who looks around curiously. 

The world feels like it's spinning, like it's going to tilt over and everything will fall back into its place like it should have been. Sana's hand has been in his mother's since it started, they didn't need to say anything because one look and both of them knew. Her heart feels like it had been stepped on before being smashed into pieces and swept away. 

 

Her skin is cold and her head hurts but all she can do is stare ahead at his picture. That's all she has now. A picture that she can barely see through watery eyes and the heaving of her chest as she sobs. 

 

Lavender flowers rest beside the frame.

 

 

 

 

 

 

---

I'm sorry guys, don't hate me.