Oh, God.

    Irene’s panic grows with every step she takes down the aisle.  What could she possibly get for her lunatic girlfriend that was meaningful and amazing?  Pringles? Check.  Teddy bear? Check.  But what else?  Irene hisses as she stumbles on the shakiness of her shopping cart.  From across the shopping complex, Irene catches the glint of a silver sign that boldly read “Discounted Engravings!”

    She races to the counter to immediately pay for the objects she had currently.  A chicken onesie for Joy, vodka for Yeri and an inhaler for Wendy.  All perfect gifts for the perfect group of idiots.  All that’s left is to get that special something for a special that she loves.  

    Irene’s smile meets her eyes as she catches a silver object encased in glass.

    She’s found the perfect gift.

    “It’s not going to fit,” Joy deadpans as she watches Seulgi struggle with the stump of their new Christmas tree.  They were given the task of getting the tree, even though it was already Christmas Eve.  Joy initially protested, saying there wouldn’t be any trees left for them to choose since it was already so late in the season, but the others pressed on.  She glanced at Seulgi, who is still attempting to push their gargantuan tree into her pick-up truck.  The only reason they had this tree in their grasp is because as soon as they arrived at the site, Seulgi disappeared.  At first, Joy thought nothing of it, and searched around the land for the owner, eager to find a tree and get her home to Yeri (and Wendy).

    It took her a while, but eventually she found the owner… who was screaming at Seulgi while she violently and blindly hacked away at a monstrous tree.  It wasn’t even a damn pine tree.  Joy felt the blood rush to her face as she swept like the wind and bowed profusely to the grumpy land-owner.  His precious tree had been chopped down by an idiot bear, who happened to have an axe handy.

Seulgi huffs, offended, turning to the younger girl with a look of determination, “Do you doubt me?”

“Yup.”

“Motherer,” Seulgi grumbles under her breath before strapping the tree down, even if the trunk was sticking out of the end, “get in the car.”

Joy shrugs, her arms still crossed as she saunters to the passenger seat of the car.  Upon opening the door, she screams.  “KANG ING SEULGI WHAT THE .”

Seulgi rushes to her respective side of the car with a look of alarm, which quickly turned into anger as she screamed back with equal loudness, “SHUT UP, SOOYOUNG, YOU’RE SCARING JOOHYUN’S PRESENT.”

“IT’S A ING SLOTH.”

“IT’S A ING SCARED SLOTH BECAUSE OF YOU.”

“JOOHYUN DOESN’T EVEN LIKE ANIMALS.”

“I’M A BEAR AND SHE ADORES ME,” she blinks before quickly adding, “...I think.”

Joy screams in frustration before limply slamming her head against the dashboard of the bright orange truck.  Her eyebrow twitches as she hears Seulgi coo her pet back to sleep.  Joy takes a moment to gather whatever amount of sanity she has left before lifting her head and looking at Seulgi.  She nearly cries in anguish at the sight of the bear sitting smugly with a sleeping sloth hanging from her arm.  

“Just,” Joy hisses dangerously at the smirking idiot, “drive us home.”

“YES MA’AM,” Seulgi chirps.

Joy ponders the consequences of murder.

    “Wendy, are you sure this isn’t enough?”  Yeri glances around, only to be met with dozens and dozens of cookies.

    Wendy pops out from somewhere else in the kitchen like a weasel.  Alarms in Yeri’s mind sound as she recognizes the crazed look in the elder’s eyes.  Her disheveled hair the the flour that caked her face.  Oh no.  Yeri thinks.  The latter merely scoffs flamboyantly, “The real question is how many cookies is too many cookies?”

    “And what is the answer to that?”

    Wendy grins a grin that Yeri expects to see in her nightmares for the nights to come, “You can never have too many cookies, kid.”

    Yeri desperately tries to remember where Wendy put her medication.  In the meanwhile, she notices the oven timer dinging once more and sees a howling Wendy crawl over before opening the pits of hell and taking a huge whiff.  Her chest juts forward and her eyes dilate.  Yeri sees a gorilla instead of her beloved, sensitive Wendy.  Yeri can’t remember where the bottle of pills is.  “Unnie, where are your pills?”

    Wendy doesn’t move an inch, her eyes still focused on her new batch of babies in the blazing oven.  “I ran out.”

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