This is going to be in Mark's POV

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"Mark hyung, try not to stay up too late okay? We have a pretty busy schedule tomorrow." Jinyoung called out to me, as i sat on the sofa watching the television and he entering his bedroom.

"Yeah okay" 

I flipped through the channels and stopped at one of the 'Roommate' reruns from when Jackson was son the show. 

Jackson had black hair back then compared to the platinum blonde shade he was carrying off currently.  If Mark was to be completely honest he had always liked the dark-haired look on Jackson. Not that Jackson didn't look great in other shades, he did, but it was just a tiny preference. Mark smiled to himself as he pondered over the colour of Jackson's hair. 

"It's been a while since I've seen you smiling like that while looking at me." Jackson's voice interrupted my thoughts, I looked up at him and saw him looking at himslef on the TV screen with a playful smirk.

"Ah Jackson, you're home." I said almost quitely, trying my best to avoid eye contact. 

"Yeah, it's pretty late, I wasn't expecting anyone to be up." 

I just offered a tight smile, still looking down at the floor. It hurts to look at him, it hurts even more to see him smile at me and it hurts the most when I start thinking that  the smile is a look of love and then the truth crushes me telling me it's just him being nice. Why would he look at me lovingly, after all the times i only pushed him away. 

But it still hurt. 

A lot.

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"Mark! Look at me when I'm talkimg to you."

"Jackson this is stupid. You're are just kidding around right? Well stop, because this isn't funny."

"Are my feelings a joke to you? They are stupid? I'm telling you that I'm in love with you Mark Tuan. I have been since the day I laid my eyes on you and my feeling for you have only grown evry single day since then. And I know you love me too Mark, I can see it in your eyes when you look at me even when someone else is talking. The slight curl on the edges of your lips whenever you try to hold your laughter in when I make a dumb joke which all the other guys groan at. I can feel it when we stand and sit to together. I love you Markipooh. I always have and I always will." 

Tears burned my cheeks. 

"I'm sorry Jackson. We can't do this"  I said.

"Why the not?"

"I don't like you like that." Is all I offered before I turned around and sought refuge in Jaebum's room. 

That night I could hear noises and groans from Jackson and my shared room. 

And the next morning I was greeted with the most painful sight, the love of my life lying on his bed with Bambam wrapped around him. 

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The memory still crushed me. Thinking about it was just the most painful thing.

"Um you should go get some rest, Jinyoung told me that we have a busy day tomorrow." I say and got up to go to the room I now share with Youngjae.

"Why are you doing this Mark?"

"Huh? Doing what?"

"Smiling at me on TV life I mean the world to you, but when you see me infront of you, you just push me away."

"Isn't it obvious why I do that Jackson?"

"No, it isnt."

"Well then you are just dumber than I thought you were."

"Mark I don't like--"

"YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME! YOU SAID THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS LOVE ME. AND THEN YOU SEE YOU ED BAMBAM? HOW AM I SUPPOUSED TO FEEL JACKSON? PLESE TELL ME BECUASE I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW." I said aggresively, walking closer to him, looking him straight in the eye.

Jackson's handsome face filled with guilt. "I do love you Mark."

The anger boiled within me and for the first time in my life, i slapped him across the face. "You don't get to say such things to me, not when you have a boyfriend who fell asleep waiting for you to come home."

He looked towards the bedroom and then faced me again. He walked closer to me, held my wrists lightly almost to make sure that I don't hit him again, but I'm sure he wouldn't stop me if i wanted to.

"I've wanted to explain everything to you from the very first day, but you always shut me out. I don't blame you for doing that, I totally deserved it. But now that we are here, can we talk Mark? Please?"

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AN: Yeah okay, I I get it. Should i make it a chaptered fic? idk when I first started it I wanted it to be a oneshot, but now I am considering it, please comment and let me know what you guys think!