Cry - Mandy Moore

Gwiboon sat on her front porch, sipping absentmindedly from her glass of ice water. She watched the world go on around her as if she was in slow motion but everything else was put on fast forward. The cars moved faster and the clouds rolled by, but she was forever stuck in this weird limbo of being just in the midst of everything but out of reach.

“Mom?” Minho’s deep voice reached her and she turned around slowly, giving him the best smile she could muster at the moment. Sighing at her expression, the teen sat down next to his mother and wrapped a strong arm around her slight frame, pulling her into a side hug. He kissed her hair and let them sit in silence even though Gwiboon knew he was dying for her to say something.

Gwiboon let the silence settle, allowing it to blanket them from the busyness of the world around them. A small twinge of guilt swept over her at the thought that her son found her like this all too often. Some days were better than others, but today would never be an easy one, even 15 years later.

Jonghyun’s brilliant, smiling face haunted her. His beautiful, pale skin; his bright, full-of-mischief eyes; his soft lips that could kiss away even the darkest of moments.

A tear slowly rolled down Gwiboon’s cheek at the nostalgia coursing through her body, dropping silently onto Minho’s shoulder. He took in a deep breath, his arms tightening around his mother as he ached to help her.

“Tell me about him,” he whispered, knowing that she was lost in her own little world and hoping to bring her back to him.

“Oh, Minho-yah…” she breathed gently, patting his arm that was wrapped protectively around her. “He would have been so proud of you, he loved you so much.” Gwiboon allowed her voice to trail off for fear that more tears would escape her control but she found that Minho’s strong presence helped to settle her.

“I’m sorry, this day is supposed to be about you…” she said, turning in her son’s embrace to trace his cheek. He was so handsome, so like his father that it warmed her heart to think of the two of them together.

“He was so happy the day you were born, we both were. I couldn’t have asked for a better husband, a better man to be the father of my child…” she trailed off as the memory of the day of Minho’s birth came back all too clearly, even all these years later.

“You sure were in a rush to get here,” she teased, pinching his cheek and causing him to stick his tongue out and blush. “I was in the middle of traffic, running an errand for your grandfather, when my water broke. I didn’t even think, I called your father – even though he was in an important meeting with his record label – and he dropped everything… everything,” she emphasized, remembering the important meeting Jonghyun had been in that day, “to get to me. To get to us.” Gwiboon Minho’s hair, moving her other arm so that she was now the one embracing him. He leaned into her touch and settled into her small frame as she continued telling the familiar story.

“Somehow he ended up at the hospital before I did, and was beside himself with worry. As I handed my car keys off to the emergency room valet, your father scooped me up and ran me in to the front desk.” Gwiboon chuckled at the memory, the sight of an anxious Jonghyun rushing through the hospital making her heart light. Jonghyun’s neat attire from that morning was in disarray from all of his worrying and his eager face had been overshadowed with worry.

“By the time they got me into a hospital gown, you were anxious to say hello to the world and they had to rush us into the delivery room. Your father about fainted when your little head popped out, but I think my death grip on his hand kept him grounded. He was so in love with you from that very first scream that it was like I didn’t even exist!” she chuckled fondly. Jonghyun hadn’t been able to tear his eyes from their small bundle as the nurses had taken their tiny Minho over to be examined and cleaned. Gwiboon had been so exhausted and in awe that she hadn’t even minded.

“When they finally brought you over, all swaddled in a soft blue blanket, your father looked like he was afraid to break you. He held you so carefully that I wasn’t sure he would be okay. But then you sneezed and it was like the spell had broken. Your father smiled the biggest smile I had ever seen and he finally brought you over to the bed so I could see you and hold you.” Gwiboon rubbed his arms lightly, feeling more grounded as she told the story and shared a little piece of her husband with her son.

“Your eyes were so big! You were the cutest baby I had ever seen and I was instantly in love – we both were.” She could vividly remember the look of adoration on Jonghyun’s face as he had handed their son over to her, her body exhausted but desperate to hold her baby boy. Jonghyun had wrapped an arm around them, leaning down to first kiss Minho’s tiny head and then Gwiboon’s cheek as tears flowed down both of their faces.

“He’s perfect,” Jonghyun had finally whispered, his eyes unable to look away from the sweet baby that lay nestled in Gwiboon’s embrace. Minho had yawned, his cute little face scrunched up in such a way that both of his parents were unable to contain their “ahs” at how cute he was.

“Mom?” Minho asked now, dragging her back to the present. Gwiboon saw so much of her husband staring back at her in the kind curve of Minho’s smile and the loving look in his eyes, that her heart stopped and the world rushed back to her.

“Let’s go, Minho-yah. We can’t be late for your party, now can we?” she asked lightly, kissing his forehead before standing from her spot on the porch and going inside to grab her things before they headed off to his birthday party.

Minho followed shortly after, lingering on the spot just a bit longer to look out at the busy world that rushed by and reminded him of the passing of time.

“I love you dad,” he whispered, the strong feeling rushing through him that his father was somehow there.