11- word count 3200; warnings: ual content

“Jagi-ah?” a voice whispers in the darkness, forcing me to open my eyes. The dawn light seeping through my apartment windows is just enough to make Namjoon’s worried expression clear. His eyes are wide, eyebrows drawn, his thick lips tugged into a pout.

“What is it Joonie? I was sleeping.”

“Don’t be mad, promise?”

I sit up, rubbing my eyes quickly. “Namjoon what did you do?” I demand, standing up. He hangs his head and leads the way to my kitchen, gesturing sadly towards the counter. The coffee pot’s lights are blinking, an unhealthy groaning sound coming from the inner mechanics of the appliance.

“I just wanted to make us some coffee. I pressed the buttons just like you do, but it started doing this and I can’t fix it.” He sighs. “I’ll buy you a new one…”

Rolling my eyes, I reach for the machine and press a few buttons swiftly, taking out the filter and peering around inside to make sure nothing is out of place. After a moment I step back, watching as rich brown liquid begins flowing into Namjoon’s chipped mug.

“How did you do that?” he asks dumbfoundedly. I giggle, wrapping my arms around his waist and pecking my lips to his cheek.

“Don’t worry about it. I can fix things just as easily as you can break them.” My boyfriend simply blushes, a sheepish smile spreading across his face.

He leaves for his studio and I leave for mine, one of his stolen hats shading my eyes from the autumn sun. It’s twenty degrees celsius, or sixty-eight in fahrenheit, so I trade my usual tank top and shorts for leggings and one of Namjoon’s sweaters. Paired with the hat, I figure he’ll have to buy new clothes soon since I keep stealing his. I can’t help myself; his sweaters are soft and warm, and the sleeves are long enough to give me paws.

My students grin when they walk in shortly after I arrive. “Good morning Ri-nim,” Ji-Won says in a chipper tone. “Is that sweater new? You’ve never worn it before.” He would know, he’s been at my studio since I first started. I lift my shoulders in a shrug. “You could say that.”

Hyunjin calls over from where she’s beginning her stretches. “I bet it belongs to her mysterious oppa, the one she won’t tell us about.”

“You would be correct- and I’m not telling you about him today, either.” I ignore their pleas and start the music so that they can stretch and warm up. The hours of dancing are usually the only thing I have to do, but now the practice seems to drag by, keeping me away from my six new brothers and their ringleader.

“That’s enough for today,” I pant as the afternoon turns to evening. My students all breathe out heavily. “Before you go, I want to let you know that I’m going to be out of the country for a few weeks in december and january, visiting America. My friend Diya is going to be your replacement instructor until I get back. She’s very capable and experienced, I’m sure you’ll get along just fine. She already knows all of the routines you’ll be working on.”

Ji-Won grins. “That sounds really fun, will you take pictures of your trip for us?”

“Of course Jiwon-ah. Now get going, it’s going to be dark soon.”

Halloween arrives, my single favorite holiday. With a lot of pleading and puppy eyes, I persuade Namjoon to ask his managers for a little party. ‘I’ll let you help me pick my costume…” I purr in his ear, causing him to shift uncomfortably in front of Bangtan. “Alright, fine,” he huffs. “But if they say no it isn’t my fault.”

They didn’t say no. I make my way to Big Hit Studios on Halloween night with a smirk. Some members from other groups are there, groups that I’ve fangirled over for years. I enter the building quietly, hearing Taehyung’s selected “spooky” music coming from the lounge. The room is busy with people, a collection of both staff and idols. I can spot familiar faces from GOT7 and EXO; I even see female idols, one of which being Kim Ye-Rim who is chatting with a very flustered Jungkook.

“This is amazing,” I say when Jin approaches me in a zombie costume. “I thought you guys didn’t hang out with other companies much?” Jin’s eyes turn to crescents in a happy smile.

“We don’t really. This is the first time we’ve hung out with female idols. I think Suga’s in heaven.”

“He sure looks happy. Kookie looks kind of scared though…”

“He probably is. Don’t let him see you in that dress or he might not be able to talk to you anymore.”

I blush at his comment, glancing down at my outfit. I’m supposed to be a vampire, with a black corset hugging my torso and a blood red skirt flaring around my hips. Fake blood is smeared across my lips and dribbling down my chin, and I even got some high quality fangs from Eunja’s sister, a makeup artist. My heels make me tall enough to almost see over Jimin.

After a few moments of talking to my eldest friend, I turn to locate Namjoon. When I spot him, he’s sitting on a couch with Jackson. The former wears a pirate outfit while Jackson is dressed as an old fashioned prisoner. I wonder idly if he’ll lend me his shackles for later. “Hey, RapMon.” I say casually, approaching with a smile. Tonight I have to be his choreographer again.

“Ri-nim!” Namjoon exclaims happily, standing and pulling me into a quick hug. “It’s about time you showed up.” He lets his eyes slide down my figure before he turns to Jackson, who stands as well. “Hyung, this is our choreographer, Kay Victoria.”

I bow to the idol, grinning and speaking in Chinese rather than Korean. “Call me Ri. It’s an honor to meet you, I love your music.”

Jackson looks at me with a pleasantly surprised expression. “You speak Chinese?” and then to Namjoon, “She speaks Chinese?” My partner laughs. “She speaks five languages. Amazing, yeah?”

I shake my head awkwardly. “I just had a lot of spare time as a kid.” Namjoon tells Jackson where I’m from, leading to the three of us speaking english for a while, switching back and forth between languages the way Namjoon and I often do. Jackson calls his fellow group member, Mark, over to meet me.

“This party was kind of Ri’s idea,” Namjoon chuckles. “She loves halloween.”

I smirk- “Guilty as charged.”

V bounces over, hands full of candy. “I brought you some candy Ri-nim,” he says, as if it weren’t obvious from the piles of sugar he presses into my hands. His smile alone could give me cavities. “Aw, thanks.” I gush, taking a lollipop and slipping it into my mouth. The cherry flavor leaves my tongue red, much like the fake blood on my mouth.

Later I walk around to mingle, talking to the staff and being dragged around by the maknae line when they want to introduce me to people. Hobi insists on dancing with me, his long limbs making his movements seem wild. I can’t keep from an effervescent laugh, dancing with the leggy idol and watching his gleeful expressions.

A few hours in, Namjoon catches my eye, tilting his head evocatively towards the hallway. I slip away in the direction he’d indicated, turning casually to the left and finding an empty room. He joins me there just a moment later, eyeing me with long glances. “Did you need something oppa?” I tease, reaching for his hands. He smiles, pressing his lips to mine gently.

“I just wanted to see if those fangs were as sharp as they looked…” I oblige to his unspoken request, tugging on his bottom lip with my teeth. The gesture incites a low groan from him, his slender fingers weaving their way around my waist. “You looked so cute when you were dancing earlier...ya know, with Hoseok.”

I chortle under my breath, a sassy tone in my mouth. “If jealousy were a disease, you’d be quarantined.”  He laughs-

“Guilty as charged.”

As November draws to an end, I pack my bags to return to my home country. After so many years, I feel nerves fluttering as butterflies in my stomach. I’ve kept tabs on major news, but I wonder how things have changed. Fashion, slang, the fads that fluctuate over the seasons, they are all unfamiliar to me now. I shiver with anticipation when the van comes to pick me up just a few days after Jin’s birthday.

A light rain is falling, the near-freezing temperature making the water turn to sleet. I hurry to get into the vehicle, putting my bags in the back with Bangtan’s and shimmying into a seat between Yoongi and Jimin. The traffic is light, which is good when you have multiple vans headed to the airport. It’s before dawn, the unavoidable packs of fans easier to avoid at such early hours in the morning. Guards help the boys through security while I linger behind, making my way to the terminal with much less hassle.

We board the plane swiftly, Bangtan waving goodbye to the ever-present groups of fans hovering nearby. On the plane the boys settle in their seats and get ready for the long flight. A sleepy Namjoon leans over next to me, resting his head in my lap while my fingers reach automatically to run through his black hair. Within moments he's fast asleep, the takeoff barely disturbing him. Flight attendants make sure we have plenty to eat and drink in our first class seats while I pray that nobody boarding the plane decides to take pictures of Namjoon and me.

The maknae line decides to do a Bangtan Bomb video of their flight to America, making funny noises and trying to speak english. Kookie knows quite a bit, having learned from me during dance and Namjoon the rest of the time. I listen in as Jungkook says "We are very happy to go back to America!" If people think his satoori is cute, they should hear his english.

I drift off eventually, my head against the window, and when I wake up I see Joonie scribbling fervently in his notebook. "New song?" I yawn, stretching my arms. He looks at me with a warm smile, cheeks dimpling in that cute little way that makes me want to kiss him.

"Ye, I'm working on it. Having some trouble with the chorus but I'll figure it out."

"I know you will. You're the smartest rapper in Korea."

His smile fills up the sky and he clears his throat to give me an Outsiders quote- "Get smart and nothing can touch you."

We finally land in Seattle, where I stay with the staff until we can push our way past the squealing fans lining up in the airport. It's cold and rainy, mist heavy over the evening streets. The rain is pouring when we dash into the hotel. Though it's past nightfall, jetlag keeps the boys wide awake. I paid for my own room rather than sharing with staff, which proves to be convenient when Namjoon sneaks across the hall at two in the morning.

"Taehyung won't let me sleep," he complains from my doorway. "He keeps pinching my cheeks." I giggle, pulling him inside and letting him settle on my bed.
"I don't blame him. They're soft and cute." I kiss him on his aforementioned cheek, arms winding around his torso. He turns to look at me, fingers playing with strands of hair that fan over my pillow.

"I'm glad you're here. I missed you last time we went on tour."

"I missed you, too. I missed all of you."

"But me most, right?"

"I don't know, Jin does the most cooking..."

"Jagi-"

"Of course I missed you most. Such a jealous boy." I snuggle against his chest and gesture for him to turn off the lamp on the bedside table. He sighs languidly in the darkness, breath ruffling my hair, and I can feel his heartbeat slowing within his chest when somnolence overcomes him.

The next day starts with a drive through the city. We stop to look around the market, where Taehyung buys me a little keychain with "Victoria" written on it. I get Jin a Mario Kart t-shirt, much to Rap Monster's chagrin, and pay for lunch for the boys as a sort of "welcome back to America".

In the afternoon we go to the stadium where they'll be performing. They warm up and practice for a while before sitting down so the makeup artists can get them dressed up and decent. As good as Namjoon still looks barefaced, I can't help but stare a little when his hair is styled and eyes lined black.

As evening falls I can hear the crowds beginning to fill the stadium. I peek out from backstage to take a picture of the mass of fans. Just the flicker of movement when I appear sets them off into screams of anticipation.

Bangtan races onstage later, setting off waves of excitement in the audience. Seven voices captivate thousands of people, including me. The maknaes and Jin sing House of Cards about halfway through the set, and the sound of fans singing along is almost eerie. This is the second time I've attended a BTS concert, but the devotion of the fans doesn't fail to amaze me. The crowd sings along to every song, language barriers broken by a single love for Bangtan's music. It's no wonder that J-Hope looks a bit tearful at the end of the show.

After three encores they leave the stage, walking right into my waiting arms as I give them each an enthusiastic hug and Namjoon a very enthusiastic kiss. I'm so engrossed in him that Suga has to cough twice before I let go, Joon's hair ruffled from my fingers tangling in the strands. "You guys are so gross," Yoongi whines. "If I wanted to see this I would look at Namjoon's ." My nose wrinkles in disgust, Suga letting out a triumphant chuckle.

They rest for a little while, waiting for the stadium to empty and the tech crew to finish breaking things down backstage. After everything is ready we head back to the hotel in the parade of black company cars, the boys smiling when they see clusters of fans still singing and dancing in the streets. “It’s so amazing," J-Hope says in awe. "Most of them don’t even speak our language but they can sing all the songs. I just love it.”

Namjoon slips into my hotel room shortly after getting back, yawning as his arms wrap around my shoulders. “Mind if I use your shower?” he mumbles against my neck, the flutter of breath on my skin making me smile.

“You seem too tired to stand,” I muse, taking his hands and swinging them between us. “Maybe I should shower with you, ya know, incase you need help.” His chuckle reminds me of the bass speakers from the show.

“That sounds like a good plan.”

The tile of the bathroom floor is cold on my feet, not like the heated floors in Korea. As our clothes are peeled away and the air seems colder, I’m grateful for the promise of a steamy shower. Namjoon climbs in first, giving me an eyeful of the strong lines on his back, the slopes of his neck and where it joins his shoulders. Following him with a contented sigh, I let the water pinging off of his body hit mine instead, soaking my red hair which has grown out to its natural shade. “Relaxed” isn’t nearly strong enough to describe the feeling in my bones.

“You were so good tonight, baby.” I whisper, pressing my lips to his. He hums softly, hands reaching behind me for the bottle of shampoo. His fingers massage my scalp lightly, making bubbles froth in my hair. Once finished he moves aside to let the showerhead rinse away his work, and I return his favor by stretching on the tips of my toes to wash. It’s mostly quiet but for the sound of running water, until it’s time for the good part, when Namjoon pours soap over his hands and starts to clean me off.

The water turns our skin to silk, lessening the friction until his hands are slipping over my back and stomach with ease. I lean into his touches automatically, inciting another chuckle from him. “You must have missed me, jagi. It’s only been a few days, you know that right?” I let out a soft laugh.

“And you know that you have more cravings than I do. If you had it your way we would never sleep.”

He blushes, nose scrunching. “That’s kind of true. What can I say, I’m a man.” And with that he leans forward, kissing me hungrily. His tongue pushes past my lips, exploring. I can feel the muscle slide over my gums, across my teeth, over the roof of my mouth, reaching everywhere until I’m no longer breathing and turn dizzy from lack of air. He moves downwards, the skin of my neck and nipping at my collarbones, leaving his special marks all the way down to my belly button. I clutch his shoulders, guiding him further down, feeling his mouth kiss my thighs with gentle pecks.

After that he’s not so gentle- it takes a lot of work to keep my mouth shut, throat working to keep my noises down. The hotel walls are thin, and I don’t particularly want my neighbors to know what we’re doing. The shower water washes the sweat from our skin as Namjoon works, his mouth doing sinful things that could trump his rapping any day. “Joonie, come on.” I urge. It seems I have to remind him of his duty frequently. He laughs darkly, sending tremors up my spine.

“Okay, jagiya, whatever you say.” He stands, one hand pressing to my back and the other carefully positioning my legs so I won’t slip. He kisses me, allowing me a taste of his work, pressing his hips against mine to align himself. With a single roll of his spine he pushes inwards, my gasp muffled against his neck. He pins me against the wall, grinding his hips until I can’t keep myself from crying his name over and over again. His fingers dig into my hips enough to leave bruises, but the tiny spark of pain only adds to the pleasure.

“Namjoon-” I breathe, my voice a whine that I can’t seem to control. “I’m gonna...ah…” He smiles, kissing my jaw and picking up his pace in an attempt to catch up to me. “Just another minute, gorgeous.” I clench my stomach, holding back as best I can, but the way he moves pushes me over the edge with a moan. He keeps going, riding out my high until he’s there too, the shower water washing away white streams of pleasure.

“Ri?” he asks, voice breaking a little.

“We might have to wash up again.”