[Slight warning for mentions of eyebrow raising content *wink**wink*]

Min Yoongi was quite a sight in the early morning sun that would manage to seep through your closed curtains, hair askew and dark circles even more prominent under his eyes, he was still sinfully attractive. Messy grey hair was swirled across his scalp, bits sticking out here and there. 

Dark eyes, still half closed, he dressed himself in a slow manner, realizing halfway through putting on a shirt that it was not his and begrudgingly taking it off. Lean arms reached across the bedside table for his watch, glancing at your sleeping figure or a second.

Giving a harsh sigh, his voice was like gravel when he spoke.

“Are you gonna just lie there and pretend to be asleep until I leave?”

Stubbornly refusing to turn around and face him, you simply gave a sigh of irritation and Yoongi was quick to follow with one of his own.

Now annoyed, he spoke again as he went over the mirror, to give himself a once over. Long fingers ran through his fringe, smoothing it out as he refused to look anywhere near the bed. 

Mornings with Min Yoongi were the worst you’d ever experienced.

It had been like that for months. With on and off meet ups and sorry excuses for dates and all in all, if you were being honest, it was just late night followed by harsh words the next morning. And still, you both came back, like magnets. At the start it was exhilarating in every sense, electrifying touches and your stomach doing backflips, you felt like you were on a never ending rush of adrenaline. There was uncommon threads of conversation that sent you to the stars and random phone calls both of you had begun to hope for.

And then, if you were being really honest, it wasn’t just .

And you both began to realize that.

And so the mornings became much worse and he took it upon himself to commit this act.

“We can’t keep doing this”

The first time he’d ever said that to you, was the only time he’d ever seen you reply to this sentence. And all you’d muttered was a nonchalant ‘I know’, before turning around and continuing to drift back off to sleep.

After that he was met with silence.

And it was awfully loud, because his heart was in his chest and he damn well knew he was ing lying and what really infuriated you was the fact that he kept saying it, and he kept coming back. 

It was the terrible truth.

You couldn’t keep doing this. With actual feelings spiraling out of control and the amount of times you both had almost whispered those three damning words, the chances of your relationship just staying ual was pretty much null and void. So with neither of you being able to handle being in a stable relationship, with Yoongi’s schedule being hectic and you college life leaving you too busy to breathe, there really was no chance or possibility for it to continue the way it was.

But he’d said it a thousand times and he would say it a thousand more and you knew he;d end up on your doorstep tonight and the fact that he was slowly tearing you apart each time the words left his mouth in such an emotionless tone. was giving him more power than you’d ever let yourself be controlled by.

And so, you finally broke and did exactly what should have happened the first time the horrid words left his lips.

“You don’t think I ing know that Yoongi? You don’t think I’m smart enough to get the message after you’ve said it a hundred times already? Stop treating me like a child okay? I know we can’t keep doing this, cause it’s bad for both of us but I don’t really see you complaining when you turn up at my doorstep when you get back from tour. So stop saying it, cause I already ing know”

There was a moment of silence where Yoongi had ceased wrapping his tie around his neck and instead stared at you through the mirror he was facing. Like a slow start to a sad song, the rain outside was the only thing that had cut through the stifling silent air of tension that had encased the small bedroom.

It was  like a rush of cloud cover had forced itself through the closed window, and just as quickly as it had begun raining outside, the room was now deadly calm but the shiver of tension was evident in both parties of the room.

Yoongi cleared his throat before trying to at least respond.

Calm as ever, his façade was beginning to make your own crack and his heartbreaking words were enough to make you realize how little this man cared about you.

He begun, so casual it hurt.

“Y/N, you know neither of us can handle a rel-”

“For s sake Yoongi!” you finally exclaimed finally sitting up and swerving to the side of the bed “Stop ing saying it. I know. I know, I’ve heard you say it a thousand times and I’m not gonna let a thousand more go by so just … .  just … “

The build up was strong, your anger evident in your exasperated voice, running a pair of hands through your messy hair, you wondered for a second if your body would betray you and you would cry. Stinging with a certain pang of long pushed away sadness, the feeling in your stomach was nothing short of every bit of insecurity eating away at your insides. Ready to start shaking and collapse into a ball and cry your eyes out, you suddenly regained your composer and faced Yoongi with an impassive look.

You would not cry.

Not for him.

“Just leave” you finished, your voice the same pitch as his was before.

He remained still, knowing full well what you meant but his eyes gave way that he was waiting for you to explain yourself. Explain if leaving meant he’d never come back, and you were quick to spot this.

“Leave Yoongi. Just, please, leave” a long sigh you finished with a solemn look “I’m sick of being treated like a first timer who doesn’t know she’s a one time deal”

“Y/N you d-”

“Stop talking Yoongi. Just shut up and leave. You always do that anyway. It’ll just be for good this time. You can go back to writing your music in peace and pretending like other people don’t have feelings. You won’t have excess baggage. Can’t say you’ll be too heartbroken right?” you chuckled bitterly, refusing to meet his cold eyes “You’re Min Yoongi”

After you finished the sentence there was a moment where his eyes bored into your impassive ones, almost seeming angry but the flash of a coat and the sound of familiar footsteps on your hallway floor were soon present. 

There was no loud bang. And in a way you wanted there to be, because it would have proved your last words to him to be a lie. But there was only a soft click and then the sound of rain and you nodded slightly. Approving this violent discovery of yours that brought a new kind of sadness about you.

“You never had a heart anyway”