“Hara, come eat dinner. You’ve been in your room all day.” My mom nagged at me. It was Saturday night and she was boasting about making an amazing dinner today for us after receiving her promotion at work, but I didn’t want to gain more weight from her greasy turkey stuffings wasn’t hungry at all. I was busy playing Stepmania on my computer all day, neglecting my homework that I usually spent Sunday doing. Then, I had an idea. I want to lose weight, so instead of playing dance games on the computer maybe I should exercise. I remembered back a few years ago when I joined cross country and loved every second of it. That was something I needed now—jogging. Excitedly, I made my way downstairs. The air around the main floor felt colder than upstairs, and I shivered a little while pulling my cardigan tighter around my body.

            “Oh Hara, you’re alive.” My mom joked dryly, setting out plates on the table. My brother Hyunseung was already seated, eyeing the pieces of meat like a hungry wolf. I crossed the kitchen to get to my basement door. I remembered there was a treadmill down there, untouched for months, but probably still functional.

            “Where are you going without eating?” My mom nagged again, heading towards me with a bowl of soup. She stopped in front of me and held it up to my nose. I could smell the oil caught in the steam, rising up to clog the pores in my face, and I winced away, pushing her arm down.

            “I’m not hungry.” I lied, patting my stomach pretending that I had eaten a big lunch while she was out grocery shopping.

            “You ate already?” She continued to question like a typical annoying mom. I nodded.

            “She’s lying,” Hyunseung argued, gobbling his chunks of turkey and adding after a loud swallow, “She locked herself in her room since morning and never came out, not even for a washroom break.” I eyed him angrily for blowing my cover. My eyes threw daggers at him, but they had no effect. He was proud and his big mouth always got in front of his sense of reasoning.

            “Oh is that true?”

            “No, Hyunseung’s been so caught up in playing Call of Duty he wouldn’t have time to monitor whether I ate or not.” I defended with hate in my voice.

            “What are you, anorexic?” His question hit me hard, and it wasn’t something I’d want to ponder right now. Even jokingly, it stabbed my heart because in the back of my mind I knew that of all things, I would never want to be an anorexic.

            “What are you, a stalker?” I added to shut him up. He paused and my mom sighed, not wanting a verbal sibling spout to turn into something physical. I was glad she did because I felt like if my brother got into a wrestling match with me right now like we usually did when we disagreed, he could probably snap a limb. I was weak because I needed food lacked sleep. When my mom gave up trying to get me to eat, I descended down the basement stairs and looked around for the treadmill which was conveniently in front of the TV. I’ll have some entertainment while I jog. The TV with the click of a button and to my surprise; it was on the food channel. Images of bulgogi and tteokbokki smothered in spicy red sauce flashed through the screen and I could feel saliva building up in my mouth.

            “No, I’m not hungry.” I whispered with discipline and changed the channel to the sports network. They were showing ski jumping, a fascinating sport that I always wanted to try. I got on the treadmill and pressed start, setting the time for thirty minutes. A short jog should be refreshing.

And it was. I loved it, and I was determined to make this a daily thing.

When I was done, I wiped off my sweat with a rag and went to the washroom, pulling out a scale to weigh myself. I was still above average compared to my twiggy friends. How did Seungyeon keep her slim figure while still eating size extra large ramen every time we ate out? God wasn’t fair when he assigned us each our own metabolism.

            We were planning a Christmas party one lunch time. It was exactly a week before Winter break and we wanted to have a celebration for an awesome school year. All our grades were respectively good, and most of us were feeling the festive joy of the oncoming season. Most—as in everyone except for me. While they all looked forward to exchanging gifts and singing carols, I just couldn’t wait for the school day to end so I could get back on that treadmill that I now considered my only reliable friend. It was always there and it helped me with my weight problems unlike Nicole and Seungyeon who seemed to grow more distant as days passed. The two had more in common than I did with either of them, and the exclusion I felt from the two only made me want to spend more time with my best friend. I went from thirty minutes a day to almost four hours consecutively. My parents never cared because even they agreed with me that this was healthy.

            “How should we split jobs for food?” Seungyeon wondered, drawing my mind back to the topic of the Christmas party. Nicole shrugged, tossing another piece of chocolate in . I eyed her as her hand reached in to grab another one, and I have been doing so for the past ten minutes. This time, she noticed.

            “Oh, you want one, Hara?” She asked, offering up the bag to me. I looked in, seeing the chunks of dark brown cocoa and sugar bunched together with hazelnut chunks. It looked undeniably delicious disgusting just imagining it melting and bubbling in my stomach. I waved both hands in a gesture that spoke ‘no thank you’ and she placed the bag back down.

            “Ahem?” Seungyeon coughed obviously, waiting for one of us to answer her question.

            “Oh, I can make pasta.” Nicole finally offered, and Seungyeon scribbled it down in her notebook. Then, she looked at me.

            “I have to make something too?” I wondered, pointing at myself. She nodded.

            “Then, I guess I’ll handle dessert.” Hesitantly, I pitched in, not completely aware of the king of temptation I was putting myself in. Seungyeon finished writing down the jobs and we decided on a date—the 23^rd—and lunch was already over. Nicole took with her the entire bag of chocolate and left for her locker while Seungyeon dawdled a bit with her books. I, clutching my stomach inconspicuously headed for my next class.

            “Please don’t grumble…” I whispered to my stomach idiotically, knowing it wouldn’t hear anyway. Outside was surprisingly sunny and warm for a winter day, but even indoors with protection from wind, why did I still feel like a block of ice?

A/N: Here's another update^^! Hope everything still remains realistic and truthful. Not all people diagnosed with anorexia nervosa go through the same procedures, experience the same feelings, or turn to the same solutions. With my friend, her solution was obsessive exercising which is a symptom of anorexia.