This was the most awkward hang out of them. Everyone was so careful about what they said and how they acted, liked walking on the steel.

Youngjae hated it. He could feel that Mark wanted to be in Jinyoung's team. But he had no choice, could only stick with him. It made him feel sick, he wanted to stay as far as he could away from Mark and Jinyoung. He crouched against the couch, made an excuse that he needed to have a close look of how the others play.

Ignored the weird look the others were giving him. He laughed as the old him, acting like nothing had happened.

“Youngjae, we need to talk.” Mark leaned against the wall outside the toilet.

Something was wrong.

He didn't like the way Yugyeom was treating his boyfriend. He hated the intimacy between them; he didn't even know when was this started to happen. Youngjae was with the younger when he was waiting for him to have dinner at their apartment. He knew that. Youngjae tried to escape from his question, but he knew who he's with. He doubted would Youngjae came back that night if he didn't call him. They didn't talk for a long time. Youngjae didn't smile like he was the only reason that he lives when he saw him.

He felt like Youngjae was giving up on him. And he didn't know why. He tried to find out the reason yet he found nothing.

At first, he thought that it was because of Jaebum as Jinyoung kept complaining how distant Jaebum was towards him. He was afraid that Jaebum wanted Youngjae back. He could sense the stares that the older gave the younger from time to time.

He wasn't confident that Youngjae love him as much as he did. He was insecure, and he won't dare to talk about it. He was scared as it was a bomb. Once you touched it, it would explode right away, there's no turning back. He tried so hard to fix all the things, to fix his relationship with Youngjae without talking about this. But it seem like all the hard work he made only pushing Youngjae away from him.

“But they're waiting outside-“

“I have told them to leave first.”

“I guess I leave no choice. ” After a minute of silence, Youngjae finally looked at him,“What do you want to talk about?”

They looked into each other's eyes. He saw no emotion in his eyes.

He wimped out.

He scared that it would be the end.

They walked side by side, without anyone talking. No one dared to be the first one to start it. They were ostriches. It's like not saying it out loud, then the problem and the struggle between them won't be real. They were all good like how things started.

The ring of Mark's phone broke the silence. He took it out from the back pocket.

“It's Jinyoung.” He murmured. He looked at Youngjae, waited for his respond.

He knew that the younger didn't like Jinyoung came around that much. That's the only time that he could feel the younger care about him. He didn't like to play game, he had gave the younger so many chance to speak the truth. He needed his words to prove himself, prove that he was loved. But as usual, he waited for nothing.

He sighed then picked up the call.

Youngjae walked quietly, listened to Mark's simple replies. He didn't need to let him know who's he talking to. Why did he have to say it out? He didn't want to know who's calling.

He felt like his stomach was fluttering, there were like blade inside his body. He wanted to grab the phone from Mark and ended the call. He did that a thousand times in his mind, but never had the guts to do it in the reality.

“I get to go now.” Youngjae stopped abruptly. He said, turned away then walked away.

“You are not going anywhere. Who are you going to? Jaebum?” Mark grabbed his hand, held him in the same place. He moved so quick that his phone dropped on the ground. He won't let the younger walked away from him again.

They were standing in the middle of the street.

“What? Why on earth will I go to Jaebum hyung?” Yonugjae frowned; he struggled to get out of Mark's grip.

“Because he has a fight with Jinyoung now. Are you going to comfort him?” Mark dragged Youngjae to the corner. His struggle pissed him off. Was Youngjae really couldn't wait to see Jaebum? How could he leave him like that?

“What? You are talking non-sense. I don't even know they have a fight. Let go, Mark. You're hurting me.” Youngjae begged.

“No! Let you go to meet someone else?” Mark exclaimed, “Youngjae, listen! I will never let go.”

“You are being crazy. I have no idea what are you talking about. Let go!” Youngjae kept struggling, “I'm not planning to meet Jaebum hyung and I won't. You know that I have never talk with him alone since I dated you. You know that!” He felt like crying, the tear started poring from his eyes. He tried to hold it back, but the tears just won't listen.

Wronged. He felt wronged. Why did Mark act like he was the victim when Youngjae did nothing wrong. He didn’t bother him, he gave him his personal time, and he let him do whatever he wanted to do, he- let him stay in a private place with his ex alone. What more could he do? What did he do wrong?

“How about Yugyeom? You're going to meet him?”

“I don't know why you have to drag them into our problem. So what if I am going to meet Yugyeom, there's nothing wrong for me to meet my friend.”

“Ha! Finally telling the truth, so you are going to meet him. I know it!” Mark released his grip, ran his fingers through his hair frustratedly. He knew it. Yugyeom was planning something behind him; he was dragging Youngjae away from him.

“What? You know nothing! Don't act like you're the one who hurt, Mark Tuan!” Youngjae stepped forward, yelled. They were facing each other inches close. They used to share the close proximity with all the love and care, not hate and disgust.

“I let you stay with Jinyoung hyung, I let you do whatever you want to do. He even slept in our place for the last two days! You can share your moment with your friend who is your ex, but I can’t? I guess he is going to stay the night in our- no, your place tonight. Go enjoy your time with your friend.” Youngjae pushed Mark, he couldn't hold it in anymore.

“No, we are just friend.” Mark held Youngjae's hand against his chest,“Youngjae, I'll stop seeing him only if you s-”

“So what?”Youngjae stopped him, “Yugyeom and I are friend, you still don't like seeing us together. Have you thought about me when you hang out with Jinyoung hyung? No, you have never though about me. Jaebum hyung and I chose to stay away from each other because we respect you guys. But you two are so- so selfish. Yeah! You are so selfish. I can finally say it out loud. I hate you, Mark Tuan!” Youngjae yelled hysterically. He shook his head so hard, trying to shake all the nauseous feeling from his head.

“Youngjae, stop.” Mark tried to keep Youngjae in his embrace. He couldn't let him go like that.

“You didn't hear what I say. I'm sorry-”He knew what he did wrong now.

“No! Blame it on me!” Youngjae pushed him hard this time that he fell on the ground. He stared at Mark. “Go have fun with your Jinyoung.”

He ran as fast as he could. There was only one place that he could go.