“Jaebum we have to go now,” Jackson and Jinyoung called gently from outside the door in the hallways. Normally they would have been from the hotel room and usually Jaebum would have left no one behind. But this wasn’t the hotel, and someone was going to be left behind.

“Just go Hyung…” Youngjae coughed gently, squeezing Jaebum’s hand that he was holding. “I’ll be here, waiting for you, don’t worry… the staff will stream the performance for me…” Youngjae tried to smile brightly like usual to reassure Jaebum, but he nearly broke down in whimpers in tears. It broke his heart that he had to let Jaebum perform alone, just like he had done the same weeks ago but this time, he wasn’t going to be waiting for him backstage; he would be here in the hospital.

Jaebum saw how Youngjae’s eyes were tearing back and how hard he was trying not to cry, he had to go. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Jaebum laid a soft kiss on Youngjae’s forehead, grabbing his backpack, getting ready to leave.

Youngjae coughed gently to clear his throat, “hyung…” Jaebum looked up and his eyes locked with Youngjae’s, “fighting.”

Jaebum nodded, “mm, fighting.” Jaebum slipped his backpack on and grudgingly left the hospital room, how much he wanted to stay and not attend the concert, how much it might hurt Youngjae to be left alone with the guilt of not being able to participate. But he knew that Youngjae would want him to go, to fill in the role of his brightness that left a gaping hole in GOT7’s presence. He wouldn’t let him down.

~~

“Jaebum you’re up,” one of the manager's called Jaebum up to stage. Jaebum nodded grimly and marched himself up to the stage. The fans cheer loudly and he can hear beneath them the soft yelling and shouts of comforting messages: “Jaebum fighting!”, “Youngjae get well soon!”, “Jaebum you can do it!”.

The lights dimmed and Jaebum sat down on the visible white chair, the white piano and bench beside him, mocking him. His heart could barely take it, the walls that he had constructed to prevent his emotions from seeping through were slowing crumbling to the floor. You’re the leader, you can’t be weak. Youngjae wouldn’t want you to be weak. You have to represent Youngjae as well as yourself. Don’t cry.

Don’t cry.

The music slowly grows in and Jaebum starts to sing alongside the recorded voice of Youngjae, but something is different. Even though the recording is so similar to Youngjae’s voice, something is different. It’s different knowing that Youngjae isn’t with him, it’s different knowing that his sunshine isn’t with him, meeting his eyes while they harmonize together, instead, it’s an empty seat. Still, he tried his best. He tried his best to harmonize with the unreal recording of the person he loved, loves.

But as the song continues on, he feels the walls crushing down, his earducts flowing and the tears filling up his eyes. He couldn’t cry. He heard the fans shouting his name and cheering him on, but he couldn’t prevent the tears from flowing down. He needed Youngjae.

The rest of the concert was a blur, he had wiped his eyes dry and had gone along with the concert, putting on a smiling mask as his inside thoughts consisted of only Youngjae. How he wished the concert would end faster.

~~

Jaebum gently knocks on the door, pushing it open to the dimmed room. He heard the whimpers and he pushed himself in faster. Youngjae’s cries and whimpers was all that it took to crush Jaebum’s heart. Seeing it himself, he couldn’t help the tears from flowing.

He rushed himself to Youngjae, immediately placing a hand on the side of his face, the other pulling his back in so that he could embrace him.

“I-I’m sorry Youngjae…” Jaebum’s voice cracked and he felt the tears stream down even stronger. Youngjae’s frail hands embraced Jaebum as well and their cries sounded throughout the hospital room.

“H-Hyung…” Youngjae whimpered as he nuzzled himself deeper into Jaebum’s chest. The guilt he felt from not being able to stand beside Jaebum and support him, crushing his heart to pieces. But slowly, as he pulled himself away from Jaebum’s warmth, he looked at him, a small smile crossing his exhausted face.

“Youngjae,” Jaebum whispered as he laid a kiss on Youngjae’s forehead, his hands Youngjae’s gently.

“Jaebum,” Youngjae stared straight into Jaebum’s brown eyes lovingly,

“you did well Jaebum. You did well.”