More intensely human

Extrasensory
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Kibum struggled through layers of awareness. There was a pulse beating through him, a rhythm, an imperative. It pounded through him and would not let him rest. Hurry, hurry, it thudded. Hurry or you’ll be too late!

But he was so tired. He felt like he was being crushed between layers of tissue paper like a butterfly in a press, but he could no more ignore the pulsing urgency than he could command his own heart to stop beating. He struggled into wakefulness with a gasp and a jerk, his pulse thumping wildly in his throat. He was half-out of the bed before his eyes were even open, a cry of alarm - his own - echoing in his ears. His bare feet hit a cold floor, shocking alertness through him. He knew where he was. The sounds and smells of hospital were all too familiar.

How long had he been asleep? Hurry, hurry. He tore an IV port out of the back of his hand, barely noticing the pain, and unclipped a pulse oximeter from his finger. Then he stood still and took deep breaths until the hospital room stopped swaying. There was nobody in here, only medical equipment. The heart-rate monitor now was beeping rapidly at him, complaining that he’d taken the oximeter off, and he knew the noise would summon nurses and doctors. In fact he could already hear footsteps. He had to get out of here. Hurry, hurry!

He slipped out of the door into an empty corridor. The approaching footsteps were just around the corner. He darted in the opposite direction and skidded into a waiting bay where several people looked up from their magazines and newspapers at him in surprise. He ignored them. There was an emergency exit across the waiting bay, and he ran for it, through the heavy fire door into a steep concrete stairwell, where a sign on the wall told him he was on the fourth floor. He started running down the steps, the concrete cold and rough beneath his bare feet, the baggy hospital pyjamas flapping around his ankles.

His internal clock had caught up with him. He’d lost a whole day. It was already after 6 pm on Saturday, and he somehow had to get all the way across the city to the park in Incheon where the concert was being held in less than two hours. He had no money on him, and all he was wearing was a pair of hospital pyjamas and a paper medical bracelet. Cursing aloud, he came to the ground floor and an exit leading to the outside. He stepped out onto the street and into a blast of freezing air that nearly took his breath away. The dark sky was underlit a strange, heavy umber, and he smelled rain and thunder in the distance.

Could he hail a taxi looking like this? He had to try. He’d find someone at the venue to pay for him. He ran up the side alley he'd popped out in and onto the main street. Hugging one arm around his chest for the tiny scrap of warmth it offered him, he stuck the other arm out and waved frantically at passing taxis. None of them stopped. He swore aloud. It must be the hospital pyjamas. He probably looked like an escaping lunatic.

"Kibum?" It was Jinki’s voice, so astonished that his voice cracked. Kibum would have laughed if he hadn't been so desperate. He turned around and was pulled straight into Jinki's arms. His friend hugged him fiercely, pressing waves of shock and love and confusion into him.

"What are you doing?" His voice vibrated through Kibum’s chest. He sounded angry, but Kibum knew it was concern that made him sound that way. Jinki pulled back, gripping his upper arms and staring at him. "How did you get out here? God, you're barefoot, you'll freeze to death -"

"Hyung, Minho's concert," Kibum interrupted. "I have to go there. Help me hail a taxi. Nobody will stop for me looking like this."

"No!" Jinki shook his head. "You're sick, you should be in hospital right now. You can't go to Minho's concert. He'll understand. He didn't even want us to come, he wanted us to stay with you, but Mr. Jang insisted - "

"No, you don't understand!" Kibum was nearly dancing with anxiety. "Something bad's going to happen. Jessica warned me, she said Minho was in danger and that we shouldn’t go to the concert. I'm sure Mr. Jang has something terrible planned. Please believe me, I have to get there!" He pushed his urgency at Jinki, so strong that Jinki nearly staggered. His eyes grew round as he felt the intensity of Kibum's desperation.

"I know it sounds crazy, but you have to trust me," Kibum pleaded.

Jinki swallowed. "I can't believe

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midaexiu
The story is complete!
If you need a bit more SHINee OT5 goodness, check out my shorter fic, The Fear Gene, for some cuteness and fun https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1135748/the-fear-gene

Comments

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robin5
#1
Chapter 22: I just finished this and want to express how impressed I am that you tied an amazing story together with a potent message about depression and suicidal thoughts. I enjoyed sensory descriptions which Kibum experienced. You have quite the imagination.

I wish for all people struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide, that they could find the love and understanding they need to fight their demons. I know how you felt about finishing this story after Jonghyun’s devastating death, but I’m glad you did. Your author’s note at the end is one of the best I’ve ever read too.

Thanks again for sharing your wonderful stories. Take care and stay well. <3
Jongtae_SHINee_Minke
#2
Chapter 22: ❤️❤️❤️
5HINee8r00k #3
Chapter 22: A friend of mine recommended this...and i fell in love with it.
Its so heart-warming, it made me think over so many things...a very well-written fanfic indeed.
Sorry i m not good at writing long comments otherwise i would have mentioned all the points that made the story fabulous❣️
reckless_demise
#4
Chapter 22: This is beautifully written and a great metaphor for depression. I enjoyed reading this and appreciate the creativity of the story. One of the best stories on here by far; you deserve more readers. Dealing with chronic depression is an uphill battle and I wish that everyone that is struggling with it finds the strength to push forward. I wish there was more of an open dialogue so that people/idols know there is help and support for them, even when they feel that they're at their worst. Thank you!
jjong1_ #5
Chapter 22: wow your story.. the characterization, plot, concepts-auras and scents, humor, the scenes. (I really like the chapter names too lol)
Overall, this is well written, engaging, and emotional.

I appreciate your author's note and thanks for sharing your story here!
jjong1_ #6
Chapter 13: I'm really enjoying the story, just wow! the scenes and the characters are written well.
Using math as a shield/web is interesting, the character sees it as a helpful yet unexpected development.
The characters' scents are of course distinct and specific, like the roses, olive, snow, violets, yet are still interesting. The idea of auras being wounded or infected is saddening, yet it kind of parallels having a constant aura.
MinnieMin525 #7
Chapter 22: Just wanted to say that this is an absolutely breathtaking story and I love how you visualized one of the most hardest things to talk about. I honestly cried reading this and I just feel that this story really helped me process a lot of internal things. Thank you for creating this fanfic.
amirahrankine1
#8
Chapter 22: this story was amazing and i loved your creativity thank you for sharing this story.
luv_kero
2447 streak #9
Happy birthday!! <3 Super excited to read this for the contest!! ^^