The pounding in his ears was so loud and consuming, he couldn`t tell if it came from his heart or his head.

‘Could it really be her?’

He hadn’t seen her since she left him – three years ago. Well to be honest, he had been the one who left her first; `but I made a promise and even gave you a ring, dammit! Why couldn’t you wait?’ he cursed in his mind.

For the first time in his entire career, he couldn't seem to turn off his personal thoughts. All he could focus on was getting an answer from her – the nerves and anticipation so intense, it felt like his cells were trying to burst out of his skin to speed up the process of seeing her face-to-face again.

Drawing the gun tighter and closer to his chest, he withdrew from the shadows and there she was.

All doubts vanished the moment he laid eyes on her pert behind - he would recognize it anywhere having studied it and moulded it with his hands many times. “Physical memories,” Donghae (aka Robin), his cubicle neighbour and best friend had told him one day. “You can forget every little detail about a person – their birthday, the color of their eyes, their names, everything; but sometimes just a single touch can bring back a flood of memories – all fresh and powerful.”

For Siwon, his bond with her was a lot deeper. Just the thought of the feel of her soft skin under his hands alone was about to create a short circuit in his brain.

The tiny sensor alarm under his ear gave a little beep jerking him out of his daze.

“15 minutes, Agent Superman. No mistakes.”

Suddenly back in mission mode, his brain started processing the facts quickly. ‘What was she doing here at this abandoned place, at this hour? Was she by herself? Did the stubborn impulsive girl realize how dangerous it is? Who was she working for? Has she always lived in Seoul?’

The alarm beeped again.

Time was running out. The mission had to be completed.

He ran through his options in his mind. He already knew that he would rather die than pull out the gun on her.

The Chloroform in his inside pocket?

‘No, she would never forgive me.’

But he didn’t have time to think of anything more because a second later, he saw her miss her footing while climbing over the dumpster and rushed forward.

He reached her in the nick of time, skidding on his knees to catch her before she hit the ground.

------------------------------------------------

Hyoyeon’s eyes grew wide in disbelief. Surely, she couldn’t be dreaming..right?

The man she had once loved to the point of madness, the man she had come to hate was there looking over her acting and looking like he was some Knight in Shining Armor (damn!)

She had imagined meeting him again more times than she could count, but never like this.

So for a moment, she simply blinked at him foolishly, slightly agape.

Siwon’s eyes fell on her slightly parted lips. ‘Physical memories, eh?’

Instinctively his grip on her grew tighter drawing her up towards him.

If anyone had asked him about his mission at that moment, he probably would have answered something like, “Mission? Is it a kind of fruit?” For, right now, all that was in his mind was, ‘I can’t believe I found you again!’

“Hyoyeonah!” he finally whispered just as his lips were ghosting over hers, their cold breaths mingling with the surrounding haze – encouragingly.

*Smack*

The sound ricocheted off the walls.  

“What was that for? I just saved your life!”

Not the opening words he had been planning for.

Hyoyeon pushed him away and stood up unsteadily on her feet. She could feel the telltale lump rising in and clenched her fist tightly – ‘Not right now! Heart, please cooperate with me!’ She had sworn she was done crying over him. And she definitely was not going to relapse right in front of him.

“Saved my life? That’s a bit of an exaggeration, isn’t it? The worst that could have happened is a sprain.”

Even though he had quite expected it, Siwon was taken aback by the detachment and coldness in her voice.

“Aren’t I the one who is supposed to be angry?” he asked indignantly but only got a hissed reply, “Don’t forget where we are Mr. Choi. If you agree to pretend you never saw me here, I will do the same. No questions.”

She busied herself with dusting dirt off her skinny jeans and despite everything, Siwon found himself studying her hungrily. The past three years had been really good to her. She looked like a woman now, curves in all the right places enhanced by her all-black body hugging ensemble. It messed with his mind a little to see her in such an elegant monochromatic get-up, having borne witness to quite a few neon coloured fashion experiments and her signature Chuck Taylors. Her hair that always ran free with a strong will that matched its owner’s was now bundled on the top of her head in a no-nonsense bun. Even the way she carried herself was different.

‘What have you been up to these three years, Hyoyeonah?’ He longed to ask the question out loud but the beeping in his ear was becoming more urgent.

“How are you getting back home?”

“I’ve made arrangements.”

“Fine,” he finally said. She was a smart girl. “I won’t ask you anything tonight but we need to talk later. What’s your number?”

“What could we possibly have to talk about, Mr. Choi?” she asked, not sparing him a glance.

“About.. us.”

She laughed bitterly. Her eyes met his this time and held his gaze in a way that made him want to shut both eyes and ears. Whatever was coming wasn’t going to be good.

“There is no ‘US’. And I`m engaged now, to a really good man who loves me.”

The words hit him harder than when he had been struck by a bullet in Azerbaijan.

“What`s his name?”

“Hyukjae. Lee Hyuk Jae.”

“Ha!” Siwon scoffed, “the same as that gagman? Must be a fine catch!”

Her foot made contact with his shin swiftly. “At least I know that he won’t ditch me right after proposing like some other jerks out there!” and walked away.

“Hyoyeon! Wait?”

“What?”

“You didn’t say you love him. You only said he loves you!”

“Of course I..” she stopped herself mid sentence. He could always tell when she was lying and she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of pointing out that he still knew her inside out. Her gaze turned steely and cold, “Well.. I guess I just learned the hard way that it hurts a hell of a lot less when you’re the one being loved.”

With that, she disappeared into the night. He was at the crossroads again - Duty or Love? Siwon let out a curse. He was sure God would let him off the hook just this one time because no matter how much he wanted to run after her, he couldn’t betray his allegiance to his country and his team.

He also knew what was in store for him after the mission was complete -he had been through it all when he discovered the diamond ring on his desk the first time.

A week, a fortnight, a month (however long until his next mission) of endless drinking and raging over the fact that she wasn't by his side ..over what they could have been if the engagement had gone through .. and now he had to deal with the fact that there was some other man who was going to marry her, come home to her every night, holding her as she sighed in her sleep.

He felt his heart breaking all over again.

(if only it really was made of steel)

*********************************************