MIR'S POV:

Have you ever felt love? Everyone can feel the existence of love even I, myself have felt them before. Normal cases, love story will ends happily where the hero and heroine or the prince and the princess will meet and be together. Then, they will have a fight or problem and ends with a happy together ending. Everyone has that case. Me, I’m having the different case. It started a couple of years ago when a university girl moved next to our dorm.

I am well known as loud MBLAQ’s magnae at that time. I live with my 4 hyungs in a dorm. It was a big building with 20 floors and our dorm was right at the 20th floor. I know that it is too high but that’s just the way on how we can hide from paparazzi and fans from knowing where we live. If they know, seriously, they will always wait for us in front of our dorm. No one knows that we live there even the people who live inside the building. There was a secret stair going to our dorm. Each floor, they will have two dorms which the front door are facing each other and at that early year, the dorm in front of ours were empty.

A couple of months after we release our new song called Y, we were given one week holiday for us to have a rest. I know it was a short time but at least, we still have some times to have a rest. It was Saturday afternoon where our apartment manager knocks on our dorm’s door. He told us that a girl just moved in to the dorm next door. At that time, we seems like we doesn’t even care since everyone were still sleepy and still need to rest. When the manager told us that the girl came from another country, far far away, I was very curious why she move to Korea. So I asked the manager and he told me that the girl was a university student. I don’t really care about it and so when the manager left, I went back to bed.

The next week, we don’t have anything to do. As normal, G.O hyung will be sitting in front of his computer. Joon hyung will be building up his muscle. Cheondong hyung will be playing games with Seungho hyung. Me? I’ve got nothing to do. I decided to go outside and stand at the middle of the stairs, looking down the street. There was it, the time when I saw such a pretty girl walking on her own going towards the apartment. “So pretty. Where did she live? Which floor?” I ask myself a couple of times. I started to just give up on her. Then suddenly, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I saw the same girl that I’ve saw down street before. She doesn’t realize that I was standing there since she was busy looking at her handbag. I think maybe she was trying to find her key at that time. I pretend to cough and she immediately looks at me. She smiles. “Annyeonghashemnika” she greets me politely with a soft angel voice. I smile and greet her back. Now I know where she lives, in front of our dorm. “So this is the university girl who just moved next door” I said to myself and I was very curious about her name. 

The next day, I’ve got a variety show to do. It was very tiring but it was fun since everyone is so funny. Then, at 4 o’clock in the evening, we don’t have anything to do. So I decided to go to the middle of the stairs outside, looking at the busy road. It was the time when people went back from work and school. My eyes were very attracted to the busy road and suddenly it change when I saw the same girl walking on her own. Why is she walking on her own? Oh yeah, university is not very far from our apartment but why? She should have just taken a taxi. The weather is too cold for her and plus, she’s a young girl, it’s too dangerous for her to walk on her own in a busy city like Seoul. There she is again, smiling at me without saying any words and every time she smiles, my heart beats so fast. And starting that time, I always came out before 4 o’clock just to see her and watch her walking on her own on the street.

After one month doing the same routine every 4 o’clock, the first time, she went back home so late. I was very worried at that time, watching at my watch and it says that it is already 5 o’clock late. And then there she is, walking on her own again with a two hands full with shopping bags. I bet she was doing her shopping just now and my heart calm. Joon hyung came and hold my shoulder from the back. I was shock at that time. “What are you doing here? I realize that you’re always here every day before 4 o’clock” he asked me. I didn’t answer anything. In facts, I just look at the street. Hyung followed me by looking down the street. “Oh, so you’re watching at the girl?” he said again. I look at him and smile. He rubs my hair and chuckle. He walked to the dorm and I stopped him when I said “don’t tell the others” he smile and said ok. After seeing her, I went back to the dorm and I realize that Cheondong hyung was not inside. I asked G.O hyung and he told me that he was at the balcony. I realized that the balcony was facing to the same street that I saw, and the same street where the girl was walking on her own. Did he saw her? He then walks inside the dorm, smiling at me. I could only smile back at him. Joon hyung started to spread the news and everyone starting to know the reason why I always get out from the dorm every 4 o’clock.

The next day, again, I stand there at the middle of the stairs, waiting for her. After a couple of minutes, she came. But I was surprised when I saw Cheondong hyung was there, walking towards her. He blocks her way and she gets mad at him. They both laugh and act like they know each other. I was very worried at that time and I try to stay calm. Then I saw them shaking hands and they both walk together towards the apartment. What just happen? I ran immediately inside the dorm before they both saw me. After half an hour, Cheondong hyung came in. I was sitting on the sofa where I just moved in front of the door. Holding a water gun, I stare at him with a serious face. “Tell me, what just happen?” I ask him. He smile and said nothing. Nothing?!! I bet he’s hiding something. He walks passing me with an innocent face. “Ya!” I shout out loud. I stand up from the couch and shot him with the water gun. That was the time where all the hyungs started to join us. 

After having fun, Cheondong hyung told me that he was just asking for her name. I get excited and ask him what her name is. It was Goo Hara. I get more excited now after knowing her name. Starting at that time, I start to brave myself to meet her and there was it, the beginning of getting closer. Everyone knows Hara now. We always came to her dorm to play and sometimes, we invite her to come to ours. It was all great. G.O hyung likes to . Seungho hyung treats her like her little sister. Joon hyung always help her but the most hateful thing is that he always show his abs to her. Cheondong hyung? He always is so close with her. Everyone started to say she’s pretty. She’s pretty, yet intelligent. However, she was very close with me; we always get together at her dorm. I help her when she is not feeling well and down. I am always there for her. I make her happy and it was the most amazing thing that have ever happened to me.

Months after months, it was Valentine’s Day. We were given a holiday on that day, plus, we don’t have any show to do. Bi hyung let us to go out with friends or with ourselves. G.O and Seungho hyung were planning to go to Busan. Joon hyung got a variety show to do. It was me and Cheondong hyung who was left. At that evening, Cheondong told me that he has to accompany Sandara noona doing her shopping. I get frustrated since I don’t have anyone to be with on the Valentine’s Day. I suddenly thought about Hara. Then I decided to go to her dorm and ask her if she want to go out with me on the Valentine’s Day. 

I knock on her door and she opened it. “Hara, what are you going to do on valentine’s day tomorrow? Have you got any plan?” I asked her shyly. ”no, I’ve got nothing to do. I’m just going to stay here, at home” she replied me. I was very grateful at that time and so I ask her to go out with me and she agreed. 

It was valentine day and we both walk in the city. It was very clumsy since my fans were there, following me. It gets uncomfortable and I feel sorry for Hara for letting her to get in to the crowd. We didn’t do anything since everyone started to follow us. It was already late at night and everyone is already gone. We decided to sit on the bench at the park and no one was there. At last, I can feel the romantic atmosphere. I decided to confess to her at that time that I liked and love her so much. I was trying to speak up and I stopped when she suddenly began the conversation. “Mir ah, where’s Cheondong oppa?” she asked me. Why did she ask about hyung? This is so annoying. I told her that he was going on a shopping with Sandara noona. She them remain quiet. I wanted to speak up and start to confess her but she stopped me again. “Can I tell you something but you promise me that you will never tell Cheondong oppa” she said. I was very curious and so, I said I promise. “I like Cheondong oppa” she said and I was very shock. My heart feel in pain and my eyes open wide. My feeling was screaming inside of me. It was so painful. I’ve never felt about it before. I didn’t say anything and decided to bring her home as a reason; I told her that it was already late. 

During the night, I lay on my bed, hiding inside my blanket. I cried … why? Why didn’t she like me? I was the one who always there next to her. I was the one who always make her smile and laugh. I was the one who sent her to hospital and take care of her when she was sick. I was the one who dare to cancel my shooting just to be next to her side when she feels down. I thought she would fall for me all the time. I was wrong. I feel really bad and I feel like I’m a fool.

I was very disappointed at that time. I ignored my hyungs. I felt weak. I even do not have any energy to do my work. I rarely eat and I stay on my bed every time I don’t have any schedule. My weight gets decreasing. I’ve got bumps under my eyes, eye bag and black circle. Hyungs thought I was so lazy. At that time, I don’t even see Hara. She doesn’t even search for me. I bet she was so busy with Cheondong hyung. It was so painful and my heart was broken. I’m not saying that she was the one who should be blame since she doesn’t even know anything. It was my fault. I was too late. Why did I keep everything so long and waited for valentine? I am stupid.

Starting at that time, I don’t even have the time to get close to Hara. I ignored her. I look at her, she was very happy with Cheondong hyung. Even the whole Kpop town knows they both were dating. I stay away from her but my feeling for her cannot get less. They are growing and growing and I am sick of it. For the whole 2 years, I stay away from her and look at her from a far distance. I still waited for her even though I know that I will regret it one day. 

2 years have passed, they went so fast. We doesn’t realize that Hara have finished her year and graduates. It’s time for her to go back and leave Seoul without coming back. Cheondong hyung were very sad and that’s including me. I cried every night just because I only spent 3 months with her. Cheondong hyung also cried at that time but at least he can get the whole 3 years with her. I also feel sorry for him. He keeps on being quiet and does not have any mood. I can’t help him since I was feeling the same thing. I didn’t send Hara off at the airport while the other hyungs were there. I don’t know why, I just cannot afford to see her. I know that her flight will be at 7 o’clock. I stay at home, looking at the clock ticking. 6.50pm, I thought to myself what should I do. I then get up from the couch and run to the airport. I need to tell her I love her! At least I should tell her even though I’m not going to be with her. It took me 15 minutes to run to the airport since it is too far. I can’t even feel tired at that time. When I reach the airport, hyungs were not there and it is almost half past 7. I fell and cried in front of all people. 

I went to the park at the middle of the night and walk on my own. I can’t stop my eyes from tearing. After midnight, I went home. Hyungs were very worried. Cheondong hyung was there, staring at the wall. I know that he is very sad. We both feel sad.

Now, Cheondong hyung still keep in touch with Hara. I heard that she’s going to go to Seoul and become an artist. I can’t wait to see her. However, my feeling still can’t stop growing but it is ok for me. I am willing to try hard to forget her …