Ever since they met all those years ago as trainees, Taemin had been fascinated by Minho. He didn’t necessarily know why, but he did know that he could stare at the older for hours on end if he’d let him.

 

Taemin had been daydreaming, just staring out the window of the van to avoid the temptation sitting next to him when he heard a voice that broke his concentration.

 

“Are you okay, Taemin?” Minho had asked quietly.

 

Said boy felt a warm hand on his shoulder, and he couldn’t help but shiver and feel butterflies flitting around his stomach in response. He turned to face Minho before answering his question.

 

“I’m j-just f-fine, hyung… just thinking…”

 

Minho chuckled. “You do that a lot now, you know.” Taemin looked at him, confused.

 

“What?”

 

“You think a lot.”

 

“Doesn’t everyone?”

 

“Well yeah, but not everyone spaces out and stares out the window for an hour every time they think.” Taemin blushed out of embarrassment.

 

“Wha-whatever…” Taemin turned back to face the window again and began to continue his thoughts in la la land about Minho’s abs.

 

Minho chuckled. “Whatever you say, Tae.” He then went back to whatever he had been doing before on his phone.

 

The younger didn’t hear, though. He was too busy wondering if Minho’s abs actually tasted like the chocolate they look like.

~~~

A few hours later after all of their interviews, Taemin found himself in position as earlier that day. He was looking out the window, and the most beautiful man in the world was sitting right next to him.

 

“You know... “ Taemin heard Minho’s deep voice on his side say, “I’ve been thinking about earlier and how much thinking you’ve been doing, and

thought it might be good for you to write it all down.”

 

Taemin turned to face the older. “Why?”

 

Minho shrugged. “I don’t know. Just an idea to get it all out.”

 

As Taemin thought it all over, he realized that it might actually be a good idea. If he got all his thoughts of Minho out, he may be able to focus more and finally get a good night’s sleep. He knew it wasn’t all that healthy to keep all his emotions in, so this may help with that.

 

“Alright,” Taemin said, smiling. He then turned to face the front. “Key Umma! Do we have any extra notebooks at home?”

 

Key turned from the middle and answered, “I’m sure Jong has some from all that songwriting he does.” Jonghyun shot Key a glare from the diva’s side as he said his last words.

 

“I need those, you know!”

 

Key rolled his eyes and turned to his boyfriend. “You can do without one, Jong.”

 

“No, I can’t!”

 

“Yes, you can!”

 

“No, I can’t!”

 

As the couple continued to keep bickering like they were old and married, Jinki turned up the volume in his headphones, Minho kept scrolling through his phone, and Taemin went back to his thinking.

~~~

The minute they got back to the dorm, Taemin  took one of the empty notebooks from Jonghyun and Key’s room, and holed himself up in his and Minho’s shared one after dinner.
 

He stared at the blank pages, not knowing what to write about. This was a little confusing to him, considering he thought about Minho all day, everyday, so to think that his mind was blank was a weird concept. He had ran his hand through his hair in frustration when Minho walked in with a bottle of banana milk.

Taemin looked up to see it in Minho’s outstretched hand and took it gratefully.

 

“I thought you might want this to get some of those creative juices flowing.” Minho smiled, and Taemin returned it, although very sheepishly. Minho then turned to sit on his own across from Taemin’s.
 

“So… Have you started writing anything, yet?"

 

“Nope. Not even a letter.” Taemin started tapping his pencil on the sea of white in front of him. He frowned at it despite it being an inanimate object.

 

“Hmm… Well, what were you thinking about earlier?””

 

You. “Uh… Stuff,” Taemin answered. Minho chuckled under his breath.

 

“Okay, then write about that until you get a new idea.”

 

“O-Okay.” Taemin started to blush as he thought about the fact that he was thinking of Minho’s body at the time, and now, he had to write it all down.

 

He started off by naming the journal on the inside of the front cover with what it’s most likely going to filled cover to cover with:

Minho

Taemin paused for a while, not knowing what to say about his hyung. He was an expert of thinking it, but he did not have the best writing skills in the world, so… As he mused on how to start off, pictures started to trickle into his mind, and he started writing, almost absentmindedly, soon enough.

 

Dear Journal,

 

I… really love Minho. Not love as a bro or something like that, but… more than a guy should love his best friend.

 

I’ve no idea exactly when or how, but it all just sort of happened. As soon as I got to look at him during trainee days, my stomach tightened a bit in that first moment, but I had originally disregarded it as hunger.

 

Over time, though, I found that with that explanation, I would not be eating nearly enough. I had to come to terms with the fact that I really liked Minho hyung in THAT way.

 

As the years went by and I grew older, Minho hyung started to be even more different to me than before because of hormones and stuff like that. started to focus a little less on his beautiful personality, but a bit more on his beautiful body.

 

Don’t get me wrong, though. What made me first fall in love was his caring manner, cute smile, and huge eyes, but now his abs and arms are making me fall even harder. I still love him to bits for being just the way he is, but the physical aspect just adds to his beauty.

 

That was what I was thinking about earlier, and it was very hard to not look at the real thing next to me.

 

What I want most in the world is for that man to be mine so I can appreciate him even more than I can from just sitting from afar. That would also keep me from having to bottle up all my feelings like I have all these years. If I have to keep it in any longer, I might just explode!

 

Why can’t Choi Minho just be mine, already?
 

Yours, Taemin

 

Taemin looked down at the filled page, wondering where he had gotten all those words from. Even though it wasn’t like anything he was expecting, it still meant the world to him. He perked up when he heard Minho get up from his bed. The sound of his footsteps told the maknae that the older was heading towards his bed. The boy immediately snapped the notebook shut.

 

“Aww! Why can’t I see?”

 

Taemin stayed silent as he looked up at his hyung. His blush got darker. He knew if he said something even  remotely truthful, he would blow his cover. Then there was also the fact that Minho could always tell when he was lying, so he just decided to stay silent. Taemin saw Minho’s eyes widen, but then unexpectedly, the older of the two started to burst out laughing.

 

“So, you’ve been thinking about that, huh? TMI, man!”

 

Taemin looked at him confused as to what was so funny.
 

“Well, it is understandable,” Minho mused. “You are growing older with a bunch of hormones swirling around in there, so I can see why you’re thinking of that kind of stuff all the time.” Minho let out a chuckle.

 

It took Taemin a bit to understand what Minho had said, but once he did, he ended up blushing even harder. He took his pillow from behind him and threw it at Minho, putting the sheet over his head immediately after.

 

Taemin heard Minho laugh from his place under the sheet, and felt the older pat his head.

“It’s normal. Don’t worry.”

Taemin heard the door shut and took the sheet off his head with a long sigh following after.

 

‘I don’t think it’s normal to love your best friend.’

~~~

Over the next week, Taemin wrote in the notebook every chance he got. Every day, after shows and interviews, he would just sit in silence in the back of the van, just gushing on and on about how Minho was the best and most handsome hyung in the world.

 

There were a few times that Minho had looked over to him to see what he was writing, but Taemin was quick enough to snap the book shut when he did.

 

It was good that he could get everything out onto paper, but it had taken a toll on his social life with the other hyungs when they were at home in the dorm.

 

A lot of the time, he had promised himself that he would go out of his room when he was done. Whenever he did that, though, he would end up writing until one in the morning.
 

One day, after they had gotten home from an interview, Taemin was sitting and writing on his bed when he heard a knock on his door.
 

“Come in! ” he called. The door opened and he could see Key in the doorway. “Yes, Umma?” Taemin could see that Key had a small, sad, smile on his face.

 

“Hey… Are you doing alright, Taemin-ah?” said boy was taken aback by Key’s question.

 

“What do you mean?” Key twiddled his thumbs as he thought about his answer.

 

“Well, you haven’t really been talking to us lately, and all of us have gotten a bit worried…” Taemin didn’t have a chance to process what Key was saying before he added something more.

 

“Especially Minho.”

 

“Minho?”

 

“Yeah… He’s been acting kinda weird since you started being quiet. He keeps saying he wants you to go back to the way you were where you would talk to him every day…”
 

‘Minho? Why’s Minho so worried about any of this?”
 

“Anyway,” Key continued. “The other guys just wanted me to check on you, and see if you wanted to watch a movie…”

 

Taemin smiled. “Of course.” He picked up a pencil and his notebook, just in case the movie got boring and he wanted to write. He didn’t miss the slight frown on Key’s face when he picked them up, but he ignored it for now as he followed his hyung out to the living room. When they arrived, all Taemin could see was his hyung’s eyes staring at him. All of them, including Minho’s big ones that had a bit of a sad look at the time.

 

It was awkward for a few moments until Key suggested the movie they should watch. Everyone else nodded in agreement and Taemin and Key took their spots in the living room.

 

Jinki took the massage chair, Jongkey cuddled on the loveseat, and Taemin and Minho sat on the couch. They sat close, but they never really touching.

 

The movie wasn’t all that good, so Onew had decided to turn in for the night, and Jongkey had gotten a bit frisky, so they had each gone to their rooms. This left only Taemin and Minho sitting awkwardly, just staring at the T.V. Taemin still held his notebook close. Before he knew it, he was dozing off, and soon he had fallen asleep after the kissing scene in the movie.

~~~

Taemin awoke with his head on Minho’s shoulder about an hour after falling asleep, but he found his notebook was gone. He started freaking out, jumping off the couch and somewhat hyperventilating. He turned around to the couch to see Minho looking up at him.

 

Minho sat down the book he had in his hands onto his lap. Taemin’s heart dropped from the horror when he recognized his own hand writing on the pages.
 

“W-w-why are you reading that?”

 

“I was curious about what’s all been on your mind all the time,” the older replied nonchalantly. Taemin stayed silent as he thought of what could come out of this.

 

‘How much has he read already? Oh, man, I really hope he didn’t get to page 51!’

 

“W-what page did you get to before I-I woke up?” Minho smirked devilishly.

 

“62.

 

Taemin covered his face and plopped down on the couch. He felt Minho’s arm come around his shoulder. The younger kept his face covered as he asked,

 

“D-do you think I’m disgusting now?” Minho smiled, even though Tae couldn’t see.

 

“If I did, I wouldn’t have gotten past the first page.” Minho squeezed Taemin’s shoulder. “I didn’t know you thought of me like that…” Taemin braced for impact. “... and I think about you in the same way.”

 

“I’m sorry, Minho -- Wait, what?” Taemin revealed his face to a grinning Minho.

 

“I said, I think about you in the same way you do me.” Taemin still looked confused and was still trying to process what his hyung had just said.

 

“And what exactly does that mean?” Minho laughed.

 

“It means that I love you in the same way you love me.”

 

Taemin finally understood but stayed silent. Minho squeezed him tighter, sensing that the younger didn’t really know what exactly came next.

 

“What now, hyung?” Taemin was seriously scared of being rejected even though Minho had just confessed and said that he loved him. He looked to the older expectantly to see him still smiling warmly.

 

“Well, would it be too weird to ask if you would be my boyfriend?”
 

Taemin chuckled, finally relaxing after years and years of emotional stress. “Of course, not.”
 

Taemin turned to face Minho and started to lean in a bit. Minho was a bit startled at first but leaned into it anyway. Their lips brushed and then meshed together softly. Minho wrapped his arms around Taemin’s waist, bringing him closer to his own body.

 

They pulled away after a few moments and let their expressions speak rather than actually talk. With eyes lidded, they looked like they were drunk on each other.
 

Minho stood from the couch, still holding Taemin close to himself. They walked over to their room and plopped down on Tae’s bed. They laid down, and Minho started carding his fingers through Taemin’s hair as sleep started to overtake them.

 

“I love you, Taemin.”

 

“I love you, too, hyung.”

 

They slipped into dreamland soon enough, but after what felt like seconds, it was morning, and they were being woken by a shrill shriek coming from the living room.

 

“TAEMIN! Get in here!!”

 

Taemin groaned from the bed, and Minho chuckled.

 

“He found the notebook in there, then, I suppose.”

 

“Yep.”

 

Taemin got out of the bed, and Minho soon followed. They walked into the living room, hands linked, to meet Key who had his nose deep in Taemin’s “Minho notebook.”

 

The diva looked up at Taemin’s face, and, contrary to what the younger had thought was going to happen, he was all smiles.

 

“Taemin-ah! Oh my gosh, this is so adorable!”

 

Ignoring Minho’s presence, Key walked up to Taemin and pinched his cheeks, sighing as he did so.

 

“The way you talk about froggy in here is like how I think about Jong.” Key sighed again. “Well, you know what they say, ‘like mother, like daughter.’”

 

Taemin and Minho started laughing.

 

“Just… Don’t do anything on page 51, okay? I don’t want to be forced to kill my froggy donsaeng over there.”

 

Taemin choked on his spit, stopped laughing, and blushed, but Minho kept on laughing. Taemin slapped his arm to get him to stop.

 

Key gave Taemin back his notebook, and then he sent the new couple to their own room.

 

They laid down once they got there in comfortable silence.

 

“You know,” Minho said, a smile evident in his voice. “We don’t have to do page 51.” Taemin blushed deeply.

 

“What do you mean, hyung?” Minho chuckled.

 

“There’s still 58, 60, and 61 that we could try to reenact.” Taemin hit the older’s chest as Minho laughed, squeezing him to bring him closer.

 

So, Taemin went through a long two days or so of hormones, and those few pages came out of it No biggie, but he was still embarrassed that Minho had read through his fantasies.

 

The couple fell asleep again and didn’t wake up until late in the day because they had the day off.

 

Taemin didn’t like that Minho had stolen his notebook and read through it. Sometimes he wished he hadn’t written it at all so he could avoid all the embarrassment. But then again, if he hadn’t done it, he’d still be daydreaming of those chocolate abs instead of being able to touch in real life, right?

---

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! >w<

 

This is my first oneshot for a while, so I hope everyone liked it^^

 

And yes, that is exactly how my mind works when I think of these two XD

 

It actually turned out longer than most of my oneshots, though, despite it being so long since I’ve written XD

 

Please subscribe and comment to tell me what you thought >w<

 

*squeezes* *waves*

P.S. I will most likely be updating Through the Pouring Rain (which is right there ←) in a little over a week, so watch for it my subbies^^