The nightmares are frequent in number as the nights roll on.

Byulyi lurches up in her bed, her shirt drenched in perspiration from visions of her own heart ripped out from her chest, of Yongsun laughing at her, of her own ears bleeding dark red, of the same scene replaying in front of her again and again and again.

She looks around the room wildly. is too dry to cry out for help and her pulse thuds against soft skin, hard enough for her to remember the pounding of her bare feet against the rough ground as she ran from everything she had ever known that night.

Her lungs struggle for air, for relief and Byulyi scratches at her own neck desperately to seek it.

Footsteps sound closer and closer as a white flash fills the room and a crack of thunder follows it. Hyejin’s face is the first thing she sees and she stretches out for the familiar visage.

“Hyejin,” she sobs, voice cracking and limbs moving wildly to reach out for the younger girl. “Hyejin she’s here- she’s in my dreams, I have to go away from her, from all of this- Hyejin please, please please help me I’m scared,”

Hyejin walks up to the bed, pulls Byulyi into her arms in an instant, holds her as Byulyi scrambles up to clutch at her, fingers digging into her skin, sobs muffling into her neck.

“She’s not here, I promise. It’s just me. You’re okay.” Hyejin says softly, closes her eyes and breathes in Byulyi’s scent, feels the rush climb up her spine. “You’re okay.”

“It hurts,” Byulyi cries. “It hurts so much and I don’t know how to make it not hurt anymore.”

Hyejin only holds Byulyi in her arms.

She doesn’t trust herself to say another word.

“What is this?” Yongsun glances at her over metal pieces and colourful packets. She picks up a piece of paper on the table. “Why does this say ‘cotton candy machine’?”

“Because that’s what it is,” Byulyi snorts and rolls her eyes, hands twisting another part in. “And I thought I was dating someone with more intellect…”

Yongsun throws the coloured packet at her shoulder, where it bounces off harmlessly. “You’re so obnoxious. Byulnoxious.”

Byulyi looks up from where she’s fiddling with the bits of machinery, soft strands of blonde hair falling into her sight. Yongsun stands beside her with crossed arms, a smug smirk playing on her lips, giant sweater slipping off one shoulder.

Byulyi can’t stop the soft bloom in her chest from spreading to her entire body.

“Wow. That hurt. Really gets you right there in the kokoro. Truly. You win.”

Yongsun growls under her breath and leaps, almost tackling Byulyi off the chair and saving her from ending up on the floor by pulling her into a deep kiss.

“I honestly don’t know how I’m going to survive living with you for the rest of my life.” Yongsun murmurs against her lips.

Byulyi startles awake to tears trickling slowly down her cheeks and Hyejin pressed against her side, gentle huffs of breath tickling her neck. They are close together, legs tangled, arms winding together in a tight grip.

She carefully slips out of Hyejin’s grasp, feels the shame of the vulnerability she had shown her the night before warming her cheeks. She tries to rub the warmth away, brushing away tears in the process.

Byulyi doesn’t sleep after that, only holds Hyejin’s hand in a weak grip and brushes a thumb over her knuckles, watches her sleep. There isn’t much comfort to be gained but it distracts Byulyi from her thoughts enough.

It’s not long before she sees Hyejin’s eyelids flutter open. A yawn, along with a wave of morning breath that makes Byulyi crinkle her nose, follows after.

“…orning,” Hyejin’s voice sounds heavy with dreams and Morpheus’s blessings and Byulyi actually feels content watching this vulnerable, completely different side of Hyejin.

“Good morning,” Byulyi whispers back. “You reek of morning breath.”

“And you didn’t sleep at all, did you?” Hyejin runs a hand down Byulyi’s back in concern. “Was it the usual dream?”

Byulyi blinks. “Nightmare. Yeah. The same as always.”

“I’m sorry I can’t do more.” The atmosphere around them is heavy with Hyejin’s guilt and Byulyi feels more of a burden than ever.

“Hey, you did help me last night,” Byulyi says. “And one way you can help me more is by getting rid of that morning breath, it seriously reeks.” She pushes Hyejin away playfully.

“Mention my morning breath again and I’ll kiss you so hard you’ll smell it everywhere you go,” It’s only a joke but Byulyi feels her heart stop beating for a fraction of a second.

“Good morning, love,” Yongsun hums, quiet and b with sunshine and affection that Byulyi doesn’t feel like waking up because she’s sure it’s just a dream.

Until she tastes the saliva Yongsun starts to basically shove down .

“GMH-BLEGDSDH-!!“ Byulyi slurs out in her haze of drowsiness and utter disgust. “That smells horrible!”

“Yongsun’s Ultra Wake Up Medicine has just been administered!” Yongsun cheekily says, rolling over to Byulyi’s shivering form and straddling the younger girl’s stomach.

“That tasted more like poison.” Byulyi gasps. “I really think I’m going to die.”

“Look on the bright side-“

“What bright side is there when you’ve just been poisoned?!”

“Now you’ll smell me wherever you go!” Yongsun laughs, chocolate hair pouring over her shoulders and brushing against Byulyi’s skin.

“This is not the ideal scent I want to carry around with me,” Byulyi yells over her shoulder to the sound of Yongsun’s laughter as she leaps off the bed and into the bathroom to rummage for some mouthwash.

“…That’s something she used to say.” Byulyi murmurs, constricting at the memory.

Hyejin’s eyes widen, her smile disappearing instantly. “Oh . I’m sorry. I’m so sorry; I didn’t know- I-“ Byulyi cuts her off with a bitter smile.

“It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known.” She says, hands shaking as she forces them into fists. “I’m sorry, I know I’m supposed to try and get better and forget her but no matter how hard I try, she’s always hiding somewhere. In a word or a place or an action, she’s always there.”

Hyejin wordlessly rests her hand on Byulyi’s fists.

“I can’t escape her, Hyejin.”

The sobs wrack her body as she curls up into a ball in Hyejin’s lap, and there are no more words said.

Wheein pops by with an armful of goodies she’s dubbed ‘heartbreak cure set’ and a relatively large box suspiciously hidden by a white cloth. And though Wheein’s attempts do nothing to heal the wounds, they do manage to distract Byulyi from her thoughts.

She pulls the goodies one by one out of the pile on the table and there’s so much that Byulyi loses count. “Oh, and I’ve got some bath bombs-”

“I don’t have a bathtub.” Hyejin dryly says.

“-High-quality instant noodles-”

“Unhealthy.”

“- You know, I’m starting to think you don’t like any of my gifts.” Wheein pouts. Byulyi lifts her elbow and digs it into Hyejin, who grunts in response.

“We do. Thank you for this Wheein. I really, really appreciate this.” Byulyi says, voice soft, and leans against Hyejin, who instinctively brings an arm around her frame. Byulyi doesn’t notice Wheein’s eyes widen slightly but the girl beside her does.

“Later,” Hyejin mouths to her and Wheein nods before turning around.

“And last but not least,” Wheein carefully brings the large box - which Byulyi now recognises as a carrier and sits up a little straighter (Hyejin narrows her eyes) – places it in front of them and lifts the white cloth to reveal a startled Kkomo peering at them from behind the metal cage bars.

“A lifetime supply of Kkomo! Courtesy of yours truly, of course.” Wheein grins at Hyejin’s accusing gaze and the sight of Byulyi slinking down the sofa to sit right in front of the tiny cage door and stare at the creature inside with twinkling eyes.

“Kkomo do you remember me?” Byulyi says in her quietest voice. Kkomo’s ears perk up. “Don’t be scared.”

Byulyi unlocks the cage door and opens it slowly, not wanting to frighten Kkomo anymore than he already is. Kkomo seems to hesitate for a few seconds before he walks forward and steps out of his carrier. “That’s it. It’s just us.”

Byulyi gently picks Kkomo up and cradles him in her hands, soft fur tickling her fingertips. Kkomo chases after her fingers as they poke and tickle him. Byulyi shyly laughs.

“Achoo!” Hyejin sniffles, quickly grabbing a handful of tissues from the tissue box sitting on the cabinet next to her. “I can’t believe you’re using my allergy against me like this. You knew this would happen, didn’t you?”

Wheein waggles her eyebrows. “Hey, you’re not the only one who wants to spend time with Byulyi-unnie. So I went with a more natural approach to kick you out of the picture.”

Hyejin rolls her watery eyes and stands up, looks at her watch and sighs. “I gotta go anyway. There’s some food in the fridge. Get takeaway if you want.” She looks pointedly at Wheein. “I don’t want to see cat fur anywhere near the bedrooms, alright?”

Wheein salutes Hyejin with a playful grin. Hyejin smiles back at her and glances at Byulyi, who’s looking at her with sadness reflected in her gaze.

“You’re leaving?” Byulyi says and Hyejin feels tightness clenching her lungs, similar to the throbbing in her heart back when she saw Yongsun and Byulyi together.

That was a long time ago, Hyejin tells herself. You’re over it.

“Just some work. I’ll be back in a few hours.” Hyejin leans down to brush a lock of hair from Byulyi’s face. “Besides, you’ll have Wheein and Kkomo here for company.”

Byulyi doesn’t say anything, but nods after a few seconds of silence, eyes still dark and hurt and piercing through Hyejin’s body.

“I’ll be back before you can start to miss me.” Hyejin teases her. “Trust me, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’ll be back before you start missing me, Byul-ah,” The words are pressed into her lips so many times that they’ve become a welcomed scar.

“But you’re always doing overtime,” Byulyi pouts. “How am I supposed to believe you when you say that?”

Yongsun laughs, bright red filling her cheeks, eyes crinkling with pure, simple joy. Her hands cup Byulyi’s face. “Just trust me.”

Just trust me.

She remembers those words with every breath that leaves .

Byulyi remembers frantically scrubbing the words away, her skin, her flesh, every thought that’s ever been about Yongsun, every possible, endless red string of fate they could have shared, of every future they had laid out in front of them, every grain of sand that the sandman had blessed upon them to spend together.

She couldn’t; still can’t.

They remain stains on her body, blistering and painful and permanent.

Byulyi forces a smile for Hyejin, ignores the sickening, slithering darkness swallowing her up from the inside.

“I trust you,” She lies.

Wheein glances at her for a split second and Byulyi knows Wheein knows.

took me a long time to write this but hopefully ive done well enough to make up for my absence. I'll be updating this regularly, or at least as frequently as I can to the best of my ability. (let me know if u see mistakes)

It might be inconsistent because im trying to regain my footing in writing creatively and improving my abilities. Leave a comment if u can so we can scream together