Where do I begin? I'm still trying to figure out how we got here, how I lost you. I want.. no, I need to know how I so carelessly let you slip through my fingers. How did I not notice when your “I love you”'s became nothing more than a barely audible whisper. Or when your delicate kisses became distant. How did we go from planning our wedding to barely getting along on a day to day basis?

Some days I miss you more than others, but thankfully today is one of the “other” days. Where the thought of losing you isn't so hard. It's a day that I can lie about being okay and people might actually start to believe me. I'm still hoping, wishing even that things will change and we can go back to being the happy-go-lucky couple that we once were.

Anyways, how are you doing, Yoo Youngjae? It's been awhile since we've spoke. Has life been treating you fairly since you left me? I miss you...

Maybe if I tell people our story, my feelings might be justified and maybe someone can figure out what went wrong, where I went wrong. My therapist tells me that writing a daily journal is “a way to free yourself from your pain” or “its a healthy outlet to get everything out in the open without hurting anyone.” Maybe I'll feel better, or maybe remembering every moment that I had with you will just simply kill me in the end.