PROLOGUE

“Soonyoung!” I called out to the crowd and he looked at me, all with his goofy smile and tousled hair sticking to his sweat-clad forehead. His cheeks were pink, probably from the alcohol and all the dancing he did, but it made him all more attractive to me.

Hello. My name is Lee Seokmin, and I am in love with my Kwon Soonyoung, my best friend.

Well, he never really saw me as a best friend, he had a whole lot of friends in his circle. And I was one of those close ones he trusted with a portion of his life. It might not be much but to me it means the world. And I call him my best friend because I see him as one, I never say it in front of his face though. But one thing I would say in front of his face is… We’ll get to that later...

“Seokmin! You’ll never guess what happened, I just met a childhood friend on the dance floor and he has grown so hot I--” I had to cut him off by grabbing his wrist and flashing him a wide smile as we made our way to the door. I’d rather to leave it just there than to hear what he actually has to say.

“Let’s get home before you get too drunk. We still have an exam tomorrow, remember?” At this point, I was glad that he agreed without much protest. If he drank a bit more, he would’ve been his stubborn and chatty self.

We hailed a cab and asked us to drive to the dorm he’s staying. Throughout the ride he was quiet and was fighting back sleep with me constantly poking on his shoulder to prevent him from getting a mild hangover the next day. He looked so cute with his already small eyes opening and closing every now and then, head bobbing slowly as if he was listening to a slow beat.

And until now, the vivid image of his cute and innocent sleeping expression still tugs at my heart and makes it skip a beat.

And when we arrive, I made sure to have him inside safe and sound, making him drink an ample amount of water and preparing a few packs of instant noodles in case he gets a mild hangover first thing tomorrow morning.

“Soonyoung…” I started to say and that was when I had second thoughts. What if he couldn’t remember because he’s half asleep. Ah, but I promised myself that today would be now or never. Today would be the day he finds out if he’s just played with my feelings or if he’s just genuinely dense.

I saw him lay on his bed and he looked so angelic, so pure that I wouldn’t even think that he’d be the type who flirts around with others a lot, the type who thinks of himself more than others, who has his way with getting what he wants by charming others with his words, someone who has that kind of a dark side.

Someone who I fell in love with despite all those flaws.

He soon responds with a hum as he stirred in the bed, pulling the sheets up to his neck. “Seokmin, you’re still here? It’s quite late, will you spend the night?” And oh boy, if I was in my right state of mind I would have said yes then and there. But tonight, I know that after what I’d do, he wouldn’t want me by his side. It’s a risk that I’d be willing to take at this point.

Four years of having all these feelings for him, four years of enduring and being tested by fate, and it would all come to this. When I have him with me by my side, I’m giving my chance to let him slip away. But this is me setting him free. If fate wants him for me then he’d stay, and if not, I’ll find ways to let go.

I declined the offer and tried to find reasons to counter his protests, any leeway to get me out of here, but when he grabbed onto my hand as I headed to the door, time seemed to stop.

“I like you, Soonyoung. I can’t stay because I like you and I don’t know if you feel the same or not.”

And this is the moment that changed our lives forever. As friends, as best friends, we were supposed to turn this way, or so we thought.

This is how everything began.

Hello, my name is Lee Seokmin. I love my best friend and I just told him. And he just told me he doesn’t feel the same but we could still be friends.

But can you really be just friends with someone you love?