I'm sorry.. for not being the girl in your dreams.

She couldn't breathe. His reply ran through her mind and pierced through her fragile heart. That pain she felt, it was something she'd never experience before. It wasn't the same kind of pain she felt when she accidentally cut herself or bumping into things. This was much worse. Excruciating, heartbreaking, heart felt pain. There wasn't anymore tears left for her to cry out, and all she could do was to sit at the corner of her bed and take in deep breaths as her phone started vibrating continuously.

Do I really mean nothing to you? Her eyes were swollen and puffy from her crying with her mascara slightly smudged. They said confessing means a glimpse of hope for her, but all these tension building inside, the awkward atmosphere she'd to face, it was too much for her. Never did she knew that that day would be the last day of their so-called friendship. Never did she expect that her confession would made her lose him. Never did she imagined that it would be the last time she get to see him. 

[Flashback]
Her silky red hair made her stood out from the crowd. Her outfit that day was simple, yet elegant. She had on a simple black long dress which showed off her hourglass figure, her favourite boots and a few pieces of accessories here and there that made her looked perfect for that day's event. After months of studying dilligently for almost everyday, the examinations period was finally over, and it was finally their prom night. It wasn't anything grand as what she had expected, just a simple mini party held at the grandest hotel in their town. She'd expected something more grand, more dramatic, where the females wore pretty and outstanding dresses and the males wore tuxedos and suits. Sighing at her disappointment, she walked as cooly as she could and joined the rest of her friends at the center of the ballroom. 

Today's the night. 

For the past months, Bom only had her eyes on him, the famous Kwon Jiyong. In her eyes, he wasn't just a fashionista or the leader of BB, he was so much more. Said said said we're just friends. Bom scoffed as the lyrics of Go Away ran through her mind as she caught a glimpse of his side profile. Oh, red headed too. Before she'd the chance to take a longer look at him, Dara was already pulling her to their table. Bom had to constantly remind herself to keep those butterflies in her stomach calm, it wasn't time for her to screw things up. The whole night went well as planned. She'd gave him a card she'd specially prepared for her friends, which he'd accepted it while flashing a wide smile back at her. Bom cringed the moment he flashed that smile back at her. If only you knew.. Taking one last look at him, she gave him a small smile before peeling herself out of his sight as tears started trickling down her cheeks. 
[/Flashback]

She'd been waiting even though she knew what the outcome would be. Memories came flooding back to her every second, and she'd to push them out of her head. She didn't expect that simple crush to evolved into something so foreign to her. Something called.. Love. 

"He's just like this to every other girl. Why are you so bothered by his actions? Look, he does these to me too. It's nothing special. " 

Dara's words repeated themselves over and over again in Bom's mind. Nothing special.. I'm nothing special to him.. Am I really nothing special to him.. 

[Flashback]
She was walking to meet the rest of the ladies after class when she felt a poke at the side of her waist. Ehhh? Turning to her side, she felt her heart jumped as she saw the famous Kwon Jiyong walking beside her and smirking at her reaction.

"Yah!" Without thinking, she did her famous karate chop on him, which caused him to chuckle as he walked away to join the other members of BB. Looking around, she found girls from different levels staring at her with jealously and anger as she stood at the centre of the hallway. 

"Bommie unnie is smiling again~" Bom tried to hide her smile as Minzy and Chaerin started teasing her about the incident that had taken place moments ago. 

"Yah Bom, don't put that to heart. He just tapped me on my shoulders, it's nothing." She felt her heart sank and her heart breaking as Dara said that. But even so, she fought hard with her emotions and kept that plastered smile on her face for the rest of lunch. 

Nothing special.. 
[/Flashback]

I'm not expecting him to want me now. I just.. want to keep on loving him like before.Just keep on waiting. Fresh tears started rolling down as she plugged in her earphones and listened to the lyrics of the currently playing song. Picking up her phone, she scrolled through the messages her friends had sent her, reading them one by one yet replying to none. 

No one understands. No one can understand. He wasn't worth it, he's nothing but a famous Casanova in school, he's such a ing bastard to hurt her, just give up and let him go.. and the list of her friends' words goes on. Yet, none of their words sank in. Opening her blog, she started typing. Every post, every entry, every word was about him. She had been, and currently was obsessed about him. 

[Flashback]
Hugging tightly to the jacket he'd passed to her, she took in a deep breath of his lingering scent. She could tell that he was freezing from the coldness, but he declined each time she offered his jacket back to him even though he was the type who couldn't stand coldness as well. 

"Yah yah Park Bom yang, can't you wear it properly? It won't work if you just wear it like this." He reached over and helped her with his jacket, making sure she felt warmth. Bom blushed and felt her cheeks warming up despite the cold.

Do you do this to every other girls you go out with? 
[/Flashback]

She was in pain, but to her, it had nothing to do with him. He'd told her from the start that they're just friends, and he didn't played with her feelings. It was.. just my one-sided love. Throughout the school term, she'd wished that one day her love for him will touch him and melt that frozen heart inside him. She thought she could forget him during the period of their study breaks, building up walls inside her against him. Yet when the new term came, everything just came crumbling down, leaving a vulnerable her against him. 

It is not because I didn't learn from the past and let you go after knowing how much you affect me.. I just thought the more I put in, as time passed you'll slowly see the good in me. It's not because I can't let you go, it's because I think you're worth the pain, I won't want to and don't want to let you go. I just can't learn how to protect myself from you.. I just.. feel that the feeling you gave me is too beautiful to let go. 

She wiped her tears with the back of her fingers and finally smiled truly from her heart as she recalled those memories all over again. His face. His almond shaped eyes. His killer smile. His many different hairstyles. The period when he had bangs. His teasings. His cute actions. The way he talks. The way he pouts..

Silly, but.. Even though I'm nothing special to you, I'll love you till you're married. 

Author's note: Hello everyone, I'm really sorry for being missing even though my exams are over and stuffs. Just wasn't in the right mood to continue the other ongoing stories and so.. yeah. I hope this will help to make up for my absent. I'm still deciding if I should write one from Jiyong's POV, so not gonna mark it complete yet. Hope you all like this. I'm sorry it didn't end happily..