Jiae felt horrible when she woke up the next morning. So many things going on inside her head. It was still hard for her to believe that her girlfriend actually had the heart to lie to her. She could not help but begin questioning herself; Why did Jisoo do that? Was she getting bored of me? Did she have someone else? But she was with her family the other day, was not she?

Just, why?

As the omega continued to think and think, she found herself getting lazy to get up. Heck, she did not even feel like going to school at all. Because going to school meant she had to face Jisoo too.

However, she had no choice but to move from her bed as she heard the sound the door to her bedroom being knocked repeatedly. She thought it must be her maid, so, involuntarily, Jiae finally got off her bed and walked out of the room. But, the sight that greeted her once she opened her door was unexpected.

Jisoo was there, already clad in her school uniform while bringing her school bag, as if she was ready to pick her girlfriend up to school.

“Jiae-ya….” Jisoo was the first one to speak as she received no response from Jiae at all. The other girl was not moving from her spot, a frown apparent on her face.

“What are you doing here…?” The omega finally spoke up after a few moments, her eyebrows furrowed in displeasure.

The beta heaved a sigh as she took one step closer to her girlfriend. She was now left to no choice but to tell the other girl the truth. “We need to talk, Jiae-ya….”

But Jiae was only making things difficult by the way she responded to Jisoo. She shouted at the other girl, almost angrily. “There is nothing that needs to be talked about!” She stepped back as she noticed that her girlfriend was moving closer towards her. Jiae knew better that they definitely needed to talk, but right now, her stubbornness was getting the best of her.

To the omega’s surprise, she suddenly had her back slammed against the wall, her eyes were widened in shock as she had Jisoo’s hands grasping on her shoulders firmly. Never once Jisoo acted this way before.

Before Jiae could utter a word, she suddenly heard Jisoo’s speaking in a shaky voice, her head hanging low as she spoke.

“Why……..” By now, Jiae could tell that the other girl was crying as she spoke to her. “Why can’t you understand that it is hard for me too…. Jiae-ya…?” A pang of guilt hit the omega hard as she was met with a sight of her girlfriend’s crying face the moment the beta lifted her head up to face her.

And then it happened. Jisoo finally told her girlfriend about the truth, about her illness, about how there was a high probability that she would not be able to stay next to Jiae for a long time. The news caused the omega to burst into tears, bawling like no tomorrow as she uttered continuous apologies to her girlfriend. The pain of knowing that her girlfriend had been suffering alone all this time, along with the undeniable guilt because she had been very stubborn and selfish wrecked her heart.

The two girlfriends ended up skipping school as they cried together that day, holding onto one another so tightly, as if it would be their last time to see each other.

 “Why wouldn’t you do it, the chemotherapy…?” The omega questioned that as they were snuggled with each other in her bed, the both of them were preparing to go to sleep since Jisoo decided to stay over at Jiae’s place that evening.

The room was filled with silence for a couple of moments, until Jisoo finally opened to answer her girlfriend’s question. “I have heard stories how chemoteraphy doesn’t guarantee that the patient will be completely cured….” suddenly, the beta trailed off, contemplating whether she should tell Jiae her other reason.

Eventually, Jisoo continued her words. “Besides, I have heard how hard things would be during the treatment—not only for me, but also for the people around me. It might cause me to be very weak, and it would also be stressful for people around me. I… at least, for now, I could live my normal life instead of being bed-ridden because of the treatment. At least….”

But Jisoo went silent again, and this time, she did not even proceed to finish her words even after a minute passed.

“Jisoo-ya…...?” Jiae glanced at her girlfriend worriedly as she waited for her to continue speaking.

Hearing her name being called, Jisoo took one of Jiae’s hands and held it. Her head was lowered down slightly as she finally continued her sentence.

“At least, when the time comes, I will just go like this. I will not go looking weak, stressed out from the therapy.” Despite her shaky voice, the beta continued her explanation. “I will go just as how my mother, my father, and you—I will just go as everyone remembers how Seo Jisoo has always been….” She ended off her sentence with a smile on her lips, yet an apparent sadness could be seen in her eyes.

In the end, it was Jiae’s response which led Jisoo to tears which that had been holding back.

“Don’t….” the omega was already teary-eyed as she responded to her girlfriend’s answer. “Please don’t say that, please don’t say anything about the end…. Just, please…” The hand that was holding Jisoo’s was tightened while her other hand was clutching onto Jisoo’s shirt. It did not even take long for Jiae to start sobbing again.

“I am sorry……” was all Jisoo could say before she pulled her girlfriend into a hug. Only at that time, Jisoo found it difficult to utter even one gentle lie which would stop Jiae from crying. Instead, she cried along with her girlfriend, for the second time that day, until the two fell asleep in each other’s arms.

***

Day by day passed. Ever since Jisoo spilled the truth to Jiae, the slightly younger girl could feel how protective her girlfriend had become towards her. Each day, the older would check Jisoo out, making sure that she ate her meals properly and got enough rest. She even started accompanying Jisoo and her family for the weekly check-up.

But time never stopped, not even for a second. Without them realizing, May had already come, and that year’s spring was nearing to an end.

Spring had always been Jisoo and Jiae’s favourite season, because their first meeting occurred during that season last year. Besides, there was a special event which happened around that time as well, which was no other than Jiae’s birthday.

“What would you like to have this year, baby?” it was two weeks before Jiae’s birthday when Jisoo asked that.

It took Jiae quite long to answer. Her head was tilted to the side as she was contemplating of what she actually wanted for her birthday. She only told her girlfriend the answer after several minutes of consideration.

“A date at an amusement park sounds good!” That was what Jisoo heard when her girlfriend finally responded to her question.

“A date?” Jisoo’s eyebrow was raised upon asking for a confirmation from the omega.

Jiae immediately nodded her head. “Yes, spending one entire day at an Amusement Park, only the two of us… doesn’t that sound amazing?” The omega could not help but smile at the image of that, and Jisoo knew better than trying to resist the dreamy look on the other girl’s face.

“But we can always date on some other occasions, you know? Are you sure about it? Is it special enough to be done on your birthday? Don’t you want anything else?” Jisoo gave her a questioning look, but it only annoyed her sassy girlfriend out.

The omega crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. “I am 100% sure! Once I said I wanted it, it means I really wanted it!” she then flashed a playful glare at her girlfriend after giving her an affirmation

Seeing Jiae at the moment only made it harder for Jisoo to resist. To her, Jiae’s sassy side was one of the most adorable side of Jiae. Not that she planned to refuse Jiae’s wish in the first place, anyway.

“Alright…..” The beta patted her girlfriend’s head gently as she spoke up. “A date at an amusement park. Only the two of us. On May 21^st.” with a smile plastered on her face, Jisoo confirmed their plan for Jiae’s special day

Jisoo’s reaffirmation caused Jiae to beam her eyes while clinging onto her girlfriend. She uttered out a ‘really?’ to her girlfriend, and a nod from the beta was all Jiae needed.

The 21^st of may came faster than they expected. As the two were seated down inside the bus that was driving its way to The Amusement Park, they held each other’s hands. However, Jiae could not help but notice how thin her girlfriend had been getting.

With a concerned look on her face, Jiae asked her girlfriend. “Jisoo-ya, is it really okay for you to go like this?”

The omega’s question made Jisoo up her eyebrow. “Why are you questioning that so suddenly, Jiae-ya….?

Jiae heaved a sigh as she played with her girlfriend’s fingers. She could not help but feel slightly bad. Perhaps she had been so selfish and did not consider about Jisoo’s health when asking her to grant this wish of hers. “I feel like you I have made such a difficult birthday wish…...”

It did not take long for Jisoo to get what actually her girlfriend meant. Shaking her head, Jisoo cupped her girlfriend’s face and made the omega face her properly. A warm, reassuring smile was the sight that greeted Jiae’s eyes when they faced one another.

“Actually, I have been feeling very good lately. Especially today, it felt like I could do anythiiiiing.” The beta kept the smile on her face as she told her girlfriend about her condition. “Maybe the herbal therapy is finally working?” At first, Jiae doubted her girlfriend and thought she was only saying that so she would not be worried. However, the bright smile which was shown on Jisoo’s face told her no lie.

“Sooooo…”, suddenly, Jisoo pinched Jiae’s face in a playful manner, causing the slightly older girl to whine. “Don’t worry about me and let’s have fun all day today, okay?” The beta finally let go of her girlfriend’s cheek and gave it a light peck. And Jisoo’s reassurance was more than enough to cease all of Jiae’s doubts.

The two spent the entire day at the amusement, riding probably almost everything they wanted to, taking a lot of pictures, having fun together without any worries in their mind.

To Jiae, that day was like a miracle. Her girlfriend looked completely fine despite her thin figure. She was able to move around so freely and had fun energetically, as if she was completely healthy. Because of that, Jiae could not help but think that perhaps, perhaps miracle did exist. Perhaps her girlfriend had been getting better gradually, and today was one of the biggest progress for her. Perhaps, perhaps they would be able to stay together longer, or if possible, forever.

They arrived at Jiae’s apartment around 8 pm. Jisoo stayed over Jiae’s place that night, something which was also done by her girlfriend request. Being tired after the fun and energetic date, the two quickly prepared to go to bed. Jiae had just finished showering, already clad in her pajama, when her girlfriend called her to sit down next to her on her bed.

“Come here, Jiae-ya.” Jisoo waved her hand at her girlfriend, signaling her to come closer to her, and Jiae did not waste her time to do as she was told.

“Could you turn around?” the beta asked her girlfriend again once she sat down next to her.

“Mmm.. sure…” Even though she had no idea what was Jisoo’s intention at all, Jiae complied to her girlfriend’s words. As she was now sitting backfacing Jisoo, she could hear a sound of something being taken out from a plastic bag, and the next moment, she felt something being wrapped and tied around her neck.

Jiae looked down, curious of what it was, only to find a necklace, a light pink necklace with a ‘J’ pendant on it.

Feeling rather surprised, Jiae quickly looked over her shoulder to face her girlfriend. She took a look of the necklace one more time before she lifted her head up to face the beta. “Jisoo-ya…? This is…?”

Jisoo could not help the proud smile that was creeping upon her lips. Jiae looked so surprised yet happy, and her girlfriend’s reaction was enough to take Jisoo to relief. “It’s my other birthday present for you, do you like it?”

A solemn nod was Jiae’s response to her question. “I like—no, love it!” she draped her arms around her girlfriend’s figure, her head rested on the beta’s shoulder. “Thank you, Jisoo-ya…”

“You are welcome, my dearest Jiae….” As she uttered those words, Jiae could feel Jisoo’s gentle face on her, while her fingers were running through Jiae’s silky hair. Sometimes Jiae thought that her girlfriend was an angel. An angel sent to earth to love and protect her.

“I love you, Seo Jisoo…..” those words had been uttered so many times, yet it always sounded so special for the both of them.

“And I love you too, Yoo Jiae…. My Yoo Jiae….” As soon as she finished saying those words, Jisoo cupped her girlfriend’s cheek and leant forward, her lips met with Jiae’s for a gentle, loving kiss.

***

What came the next day was not something Jiae expected after all. In fact, it was not something she ever wished to happen. At that moment, she wished it to be merely a nightmare.

That morning, she woke up to the sight of Jisoo looking weak and pale, a complete opposite of how she looked the other day.

The next moment, Jiae found herself seated next to Jisoo’s bed in the hospital room, Jisoo’s parents, Sungjong, Soojung, and their other friends were there as well, Jisoo’s unconscious body lying down on the mattress. The omega could barely understand what was going on anymore, the only words she could remember from the doctor was “her condition had dropped drastically” and “it would not be long”.

It could not be. That was what Jiae thought as she held onto Jisoo’s hand tightly; She refused to believe whatever the doctor said. It could not be happening. Jisoo would wake up soon. She would wake up and be healthy like the other day. She would smile at Jiae and tell her that everything would be alright.

“Ji….ae….” the omega was awakened from her thought the moment she heard her girlfriend’s familiar voice calling for her, weakly, it barely came out as a whisper.

“Jisoo-ya!” Jiae did not waste her time to respond to her girlfriend, both of her hands were now holding onto the other’s hand. Tears were already falling down from her face as her gaze met with Jisoo’s.

“I am sorry…” The Beta uttered the words as she looked at Jiae before her gaze moved to her parents and her other friends who were present at her hospital room.

Before the others could respond, Jiae already spoke up. “Why are you saying sorry? Don’t say such a thing, Jisoo-ya… You just need to rest, alright? Later you will feel better again, then we will spend our time together just like the usual…” but Jiae knew better, everyone in the room, and Jisoo herself knew better, that it would not be happening. That such a chance would not ever occur again.

With her gaze fixed at her girlfriend, Jisoo uttered another apology. “I am sorry, my dearest…. I don’t think I can do it….“

And that was when Jiae felt as if her heart had been stabbed. It was reality, and she needed to face it. But she could not do it. She was not prepared. She still needed Jisoo and would always need her for her entire life. She could not let Jisoo go yet, and she would never do such a thing.

“No!” Jiae’s sudden outburst surprised everyone in the room. “I don’t want to hear it…. Please…. please……. Please tell me that you will be okay, lie to me just like the usual. Please, Jisoo-ya……” by now, Jiae’s head was hung low, tears spilling from her eyes continuously as her hands that were holding Jisoo’s weak hand were not loosened even a bit.

“Jiae-ya….” Despite her weak condition, Jisoo managed to speak up again. “I am sorry, I can not stay with you any longer……” those words were enough to make the beta’s mother, who had been crying along with Jiae, cry even harder, and also made the others in the room cry.

“I hope you will…. someday, you will find your fated mate….” As Jisoo continued her words, Jiae remained silent. The only thing she had in mind was Jisoo, yet at the same time, she did not want to hear what the other girl was saying.

After finishing her words for Jiae, Jisoo’s eyes moved to where her parents at. “Umma, Appa, I am sorry, I haven’t done anything to make you proud of having me as your daughter…. Thank you, for letting me born into this beautiful world….” By now, her mother was crying uncontrollably just like Jiae was, while her father, even though he tried his hardest to stop, the tears just continued to spill down from her eyes.

Later, Jisoo’s gaze shifted to her girlfriend again. The omega was still crying, and Soojung and Sungjong were seen to be comforting her from behind.

But time never stopped, neither it ever waited.

As she brushed her thumb against her girlfriend’s hand, Jisoo managed to say it.

“I love you, Yoo Jiae….. please be happy….”

And that was Jisoo’s last word before she closed her eyes, forever.

Jisoo’s funeral was held the next day. After they were done with all the process, Jiae found herself inside Jisoo’s bedroom, staring at many pictures which Jisoo placed on her desk. A picture from Howon’s and Sungyeol’s graduation ceremony, a picture of the two of them and Sungjong during a school trip, and a picture of the two of them only, they all could be seen there. And even though they all smiled in those photos, at the moment, it only caused Jiae’s heart to sting.

It was still hard to believe that her girlfriend had gone forever, only a day after her birthday.

As the omega continued to be lose in her thoughts, she suddenly heard someone’s voice calling for her name, that voice sounded so familiar, and when she turned around, she found Jisoo’s mother entering the bedroom, approaching her.

Never she knew that Jisoo’s voice was actually very similar to her mother’s.

“Auntie…..” was Jiae’s only respond as the woman was now standing next to her, one of her arms draped around the omega’s shoulder.

“It’s still hard to believe that she is really gone, huh…” Jisoo’s mother uttered the words as she took a look at the pictures one by one, sadness was apparent in her swollen eyes.

Silence filled the room for a couple of minutes until Jiae spoke up all of a sudden.

“Auntie…” even if it might not sound nor look so, it actually took Jiae a lot of courage to ask this question. “Would she still be here had I not asked her to go out with me…..?”

Jiae’s question only made Jisoo’s mother frown. Jiae knew she should not have asked such a question. But she could not help it. If she could turn back the time, she would do anything to bring her Jisoo back.

“Don’t say such a thing, Jiae-ya…” the omega felt a warm, gentle hand on her head as she heard Jisoo’s mother speak. It was the woman’s hand on her head, caressing her hair gently, just like how Jisoo used to do.

“But----“ her words, along with her gentle action only hurt Jiae’s heart, and now, she found herself holding her tears back yet again. Something she had been doing ever since she entered her late girlfriend’s room.

“My dear…” Jisoo’s mother started again. Jiae could see that she was holding her tears back as well. But the woman was strong, stronger than Jiae at least. Of course it was also hard for her and her husband to let their one and only child go. But they knew that crying would not bring her back. “You might have thought that our Jisoo had lied to you, that she pretended to be alright all day just to make you happy……” yes, that was what Jiae thought. Jisoo had uttered yet another gentle lie only to grant her selfish request.

The woman continued her words after shaking her head. “But, as her mother, I would know when she lied and when she told the truth. That morning, I asked her whether she was feeling okay, and her expression told me no lie, Jiae-ya…”

Somehow, the way Jisoo’s mother called her reminded Jiae of Jisoo a lot. By now, Jiae was too choked on her own tears to form any coherent words.

“It was Jisoo’s wish to spend her last day with you, and it had been fated that way. So, please, could you let her go for me, for me and his father, and of course for Jisoo too?”

“Is my feeling for her wrong, then?” In the midst of her sobbing, Jiae managed to utter a few words. “She is the only one for me, and yet I….” eventually, it was hard for Jiae to finish her words.

To her surprise, she felt Jisoo’s mother pulling her into a hug. At that moment, it felt as if she was back in Jisoo’s arms once again.

“Someday, you will finally understand why you have to go through this, dear….” Jisoo’s mother never stopped comforting her late daughter’s girlfriend “Someday, you will find your true fated mate, and you will understand why some things had to happen. So please, continue to live your life, and be happy. Jisoo said it herself, did not she? She wants you to be happy, even though it means living your life without her.”

“Auntie….” Resting her head on the woman’s chest, Jiae let everything out. She knew that she would eventually have to move on and live her life, because no matter how hard it was, you had to continue and live it on. And that was something she learned from Jisoo. Seo Jisoo, her amazing girlfriend who continued to live her life until the very end, no matter how hard it was on her.

And that was when Jiae realized that even if, even if someday she met her true fated mate, Seo Jisoo would always be in her heart. Everything about Jisoo; her smile, her love for her, her words, her touches, and even the gentle lies she uttered to protect her—to protect the both of them, everything about Jisoo would always be tied into her heart by a broken crimson thread.

A/N : so, yeah, that was the best i could come up with after a few months of writer-block. to be honest, i am not satisfied with how it turned out to be, and i know the ending seems so rushed, but yeah ;;

anyway, i am not sure whether i will continue writing the spin-offs as planned. i do want to write them though, especially the yein/jiae and sujeong/myungeun ones, but we shall see

please support this precious ship ♥