To my utter excitement , there she was , sitting by herself , her tiny pinky finger sticking up as she drank her coffee. I walked into the shop , bringing the cold sea air in with me. I went up to the register to order my drink , trying my best not to look at her right away. I didn't want to be obvious. Or creepy. But I guess I was already creepy , since I had my eye on this for over a year now.

I ordered my coffee and seated myself at one of the small , wooden square tables. I chose my seat wisely so that I had a clear view of her , but she wouldn't have one of me. Because an old man was reading a nespaper in the table slightly to the left of mine. The waitress brought me my coffee , asked If I wanted anything else , and when I answered no , she walked away and left me to my creeping. 

I wondered if she noticed when I had walked in. I wondered when I had walked in. I wondered if she recognized me as the guy that crashed into the chubby man on the beach. I cursed myself for keeping my head down when I walked in. I should have at least glanced at her to see if she made any sort of facial gesture that would express recognition. What happened next crushed my heart for the entirely of my Thanksgiving break and really , the next few months.

A guy , came into the shop and sat down next to my coffeeshop girl. She smiled at him as he leaned across the table and kissed her cheek , making her giggle and glance around shyly. I wanted to flip the table over and dump my coffee on that guy's head. She was dating? She had a boyfriend? 

But of course , she had a boyfriend. A girl as beautiful as her couldn't possibly be single. It was stupid of me to think so. And why did I even think that I had a chance with her? I hadn't even talked her. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to her. And I wasn't even close to being as attractive as the guy that was now cuddling with her. There was no way that she would ever consider me.

 And with these dark thoughts plaguing my mind , I left the coffeeshop with a heavy heart , the image I wanted to cherish during my vacation shattered.

After a miserable Thanksgiving break , dreaming about the girl from the coffeeshop being snatched away from me so unfairly , I came back to university to finish up the semester. I tried to filter out the thoughts of the girl by throwing myself completely into my studies , which I needed to do anyways. After finals slaughtered me , I went back home for Christmas. Christmas served its purpose in lifting my spirits with its holiday cheer. That year , I got a new phone as a present and socks. Lots of socks.

My little sister , who was interested in Tumblr , made me a personalized coffee mug which I promptly went to my room and smashed it. Because it reminded me of the girl that was never going to be mine. My friends and I had planned on going to Busan to see the ball drop for New Year's. This served as a huge distraction. Live easy , Party hard right?

Spring semester of classes went by in a blink of an eye. Before I knew it , I was ending my sophomore year of college. As I ended the year and said goodbye to my friends for the summer , I wondered where my life was going. I knew I was going to have to make some difficult decisions in the following year , but I was satisfied with the past year of my life. I knew things were going to become more confusing and difficult , but at least I would have the regret of not making the most of my college years.

Although , I would have the regret of not talking to my coffee shop girl when I had the chance.

God , I was getting so obsessive.

Imagine If other people found out about my obsession with this girl. My fraternity brothers would never let me hear the end of it. It's not like I was much of a player , anyway. I was much more of the kind of guy that flirted just the right amount so that people wouldn't think I was gay and then slept alone at night.

My life . 

And I knew it wasn't because I was just uninterested in the girls at my university. It was because my heart was set on a different girl , one that was so out of my reach that it was stupid that I was even thinking about her. But I guess the saying is right '' You always want what you can't have'' But I was going to get her. If it was the last thing I'd dp.

Or not.

But then my friends decided to go to Seoul for spring break and we rented out the same apartment I had stayed during the summer after my freshman year. After a long night of partying , I had gone to the coffeeshop to get myself a strong cup of coffee to fight off my hangover. It just so happened that this was also the day I finally found out my coffee shop girl's name. I had stumbled into the coffeeshop at around  8 a.m 

I'm sure I looked horrible. After all , I had just thrown up in my toilet about 20 minutes before. I staggered to the cashier to order