a/n: felt lowkey bad about the cliffhanger, so here's a wee lil update i was able to squeeze out in some free time today.

 

warnings: homophobia, death mention

---

Mark felt like somebody had pushed him underwater.  All the air was forced from his lungs and he was struggling to breathe.  The illusory water around him muffled Jinyoung’s voice.  Mark’s ears were clogged and unhearing.   There was no way this moment could be real.

“What?”  There were so many things flowing through Mark’s mind and all of them made him sink deeper into the depths of a place he knew he couldn’t escape from.

“I’m sorry!  I didn’t say… I...”  Jinyoung’s eyes were full of shame as he stared at Mark.  “Please don’t leave.”

“No, don’t apologize.”  Mark was grasping for something to say but all he wanted was some indication that this wasn’t a dream.  He got up on his knees like Jinyoung and took his arm.  “Say it again, what you said before.  Please.”

Jinyoung looked confused.  “Say… what I said before…”

“What made you change your mind?”  Jinyoung was flushed and he was staring at the ground.

“You, Mark.”  He said it a bit firmer this time, his eyes rising up to meet Mark’s.  “In my mind I still can’t explain it, but the one my heart wants is you.”

Mark should’ve been getting closer to the surface but instead, he kept sinking deeper.  So deep the water was black and he didn’t feel the need to breathe anymore.  There was no going back; the water’s surface was now a distant memory.  Strangely, he felt content.

“Mark, why are you smiling?”  He hadn’t noticed he was smiling until Jinyoung said something.  “Are you… okay?  It’s fine if you don’t want to meet anymore but… stop smiling so menacingly at me.”

“It’s funny.”  Jinyoung still looked so fragile and all Mark wanted to do was spend the rest of his like reassuring him that everything was okay.  “I thought I would ever meet someone I truly admired, that’s why I agreed to be married.  Then you came along and ruined that plan so royally, I should hate you, really.”

It was Jinyoung’s turn to gawk at him. 

“I couldn’t hate you, though.  It’s quite the opposite.  I really, really like you.”  Mark pushed away the mantra in the back of his mind that kept telling him that this was wrong, so wrong.

“Wait, Mark, no.”  Jinyoung looked like he was trying to search for a logical solution to explain this situation but was failing.  “In that way… Mark… You don’t understand.  I like you as in… romantically.”

“I like you the same way.”

“No, you can’t.  You really can’t.  This is…”  Jinyoung was visibly shaking.   “This is so illicit… so...”

 “Stop thinking for a moment,” Jinyoung’s gaze was fixed on his.  “Let your mind take a rest and follow the actions of your heart.”  Mark remembered the deal he had made with Jackson to not suppress what he felt, and he was hoping Jinyoung would do the same.

Jinyoung took a deep breath to calm down.  “Okay.”  Jinyoung’s reached up and took Mark’s face between both of his hands, resting them against either cheek.  Mark could feel all his confidence from before melting into the ground.

Mark was burning slowly from how intimate the moment was.  Jinyoung brought his face closer until the tips of their noses grazed against each other.  Mark felt dizzy in the most wonderful way; his hands lay on his knees trembling in anticipation.

Jinyoung brought his face upwards and laid the softest kiss against his forehead, Mark barely felt it.  Then he set his gaze back down to meet Mark’s.

 “Is this okay?” 

Definitely not okay.

Mark nodded his head yes.

Jinyoung brought his lips to the side and ghosted them over Mark’s right cheek, giving him another kiss.  He asked again.

“Is this okay?”

I shouldn’t be doing this. 

Mark nodded his head yes.

Jinyoung brought his lips to his left cheek, giving him a firmer kiss.  Mark could hear himself breathing louder than normal.  Jinyoung’s voice came out in a throaty whisper.

“Is this okay?”

This is completely wrong.

Mark nodded his head yes.

Jinyoung looked for any signs of hesitation in Mark’s face as he closed the gap between their mouths at an excruciatingly slow pace. 

They stumbled at first, their noses knocking together clumsily and both of their eyes shooting open in embarrassment.

“S-sorry.”  Jinyoung managed to squeak out before Mark nodded for him to continue.

 Jinyoung fixed his positioning by tilting to his side just a bit and shut his eyes again, trying not to ruin the moment. 

Mark stopped breathing altogether when Jinyoung finally let his lips meet Mark’s, a surge of electricity running through his body.

Mark instinctively deepened the kiss, wanting to be completely shrouded in the warmth radiating from Jinyoung’s body and the heavenly feeling of Jinyoung’s mouth against his.

Jinyoung faltered for a second before he leaned into Mark’s advances.  Mark wrapped his arms around Jinyoung’s lower body and pulled him closer, completely lost in the moment.

In the back of his mind, there was a little voice telling him that this was wrong.  Kissing another guy was wrong.  Kissing your fiancé’s brother waswrong.  Kissing Park Jinyoung was wrong.  There was another voice, though, one that kept pushing him forward that spoke louder than all others.

How could something so wrong feel so right?

It felt like hours had gone by when Jinyoung finally pulled away from the kiss and Mark suddenly became aware of reality again.  His eyes widened and his hands went up to cover his mouth when he realized what he had just done.

“Mark… oh my god…”  Mark shook the shocked expression off his face and grabbed Jinyoung to pull him into a hug.

“Jinyoung, don’t worry… this is fine.”

“It’s not fine, you know that.”

Mark sighed and pulled Jinyoung closer to him, trying to reassure him through his touch.  “Stop thinking unnecessary things and just let it happen.”

We’ll figure the rest out later.

---

Mark and Jinyoung decided to keep whatever they had between themselves a secret for the time being.  If this kind of information leaked out the consequences would be harsh, they both knew that.

Jinyoung was extremely hesitant at first, still doubtful that Mark could even feel the same way he did.  However, he warmed up quickly to the way Mark expressed his feelings in more deliberate ways, like the way he let his touches linger longer than they should, or the way he would gaze at him until he became flustered, and of course, countless stolen kisses between the shelves of the library.

Things were more or less the same as before, except with a lot more freedom and earnest adoration.

They had done a good job at keeping everything a secret as well, for the most part.  Jackson had asked him why he smiled so much recently, and Mark had brushed it off but he was sure Jackson knew something was up.

Then there was Sooyoung who he met with every morning for brunch and then they parted separate ways.  She didn’t seem like she knew about anything, nor did she even really care.  He was grateful and curious about that, but Jinyoung said she was hard to figure out at times, so he ignored it.

Today it was a beautiful day outside, it was almost a shame that Mark and Jinyoung were cooped up in the library.  The shame quickly disappeared when Jinyoung laughed and pressed his lips to Mark’s again and again.

“Mark! Are you in here?!”  Mark jumped off Jinyoung and looked down the hall. I thought nobody ever came here, why was everyone suddenly aware this was where he liked to hang out?

Jinyoung pouted but let Mark go back down to the entrance while trailing behind him.

“Jackson?” 

“Mark!  Pal!  It feels like it’s been ages since I saw you!  I’m your personal servant you know… you need anything I’m here… not like I miss you or anything.”  Jackson peered around him and eyed Jinyoung. “He meets you and suddenly there no time for Jackson…”  Jackson’s words trailed off and he started mumbling to himself.

“Uh, Jackson?  Did you actually need anything?”  Mark asked, hoping he could get him to leave so he could get back to what he was doing before.

“Oh!  Right, your fiancé was looking for you.” 

“What, Sooyoung?  Really?  For what?”  She rarely saw him during the day so it was a bit suspicious that she would need him for anything.

“She didn’t tell me!  She just told me to come get you; she’s waiting in the main lobby.” Mark exchanged glances with Jinyoung and sighed.

“Alright, I guess I’ll have to go.”  Mark dragged his feet across the floor towards the door reluctantly. 

“Don’t you worry about your little companion here,” Jackson swung his arm around Jinyoung’s neck in a way that was completely inappropriate from a servant to do to someone of such high stature.  “I’ll keep him company!”

Jinyoung looked a bit petrified and Mark just shrugged.  “You should run while you still have the chance,” Jackson glared at him and Mark just laughed.  “I’m kidding, don’t worry I swear he’s a fun guy to hang around!  You’ll be fine.”

With that, Mark smiled and bid farewell.  Hopefully, Jackson wouldn’t divulge any unsavoury information about him.

---

“Mark!  My love!”  As soon as Mark entered the lobby he was tackled by Sooyoung roping her arms around his neck.  “See dad, he’s right here.  He’ll me to town!”

Sooyoung was clinging on to him so tightly he was having trouble breathing, but he didn’t want to push her off him so he tried to bear it and smile.

“Alright, I’ll always support you two spending more time together,” The king said.  “I have other duties I will attend to; I’ll leave this to you.”

She continued to hug him until her dad walked out of sight then she let him go and groaned loudly.  “Sorry about that, but we need to go down to town to make an appearance at the opening of a new school.  My father was going to go with me but I insisted we should go together.  I hope you don’t mind.”  She bowed to him sincerely.

“It’s no problem, I can’t say no to my fiancé, can I?”  In reality, Mark wasn’t too pleased with having to leave the castle while he was spending time with Jinyoung, but he didn’t want to make a fuss about it.

“I really appreciate it, I just can’t stand…”  A set of ten servants approached them.

“We are here to you to town, please follow us out to the carriage.”  One said, before turning around to lead the way.

Mark turned back to Sooyoung as they walked.  “What were you saying?”

She waved him off. “Never mind, forget I said anything.”

---

The visit to the new school was overwhelming.  As soon as Sooyoung stepped out of the carriage there were loud cheers, it seemed as though she was well liked among the townspeople.  People were also scrambling to get a glimpse of Mark, as they had never seen his face since the royal engagement was announced.  There was a lot of yelling, most comments were lost in all the shouting, but he did hear a lot of comments about his appearance and how lucky the princess was.  He still didn’t see why everyone thought he was so attractive.

After the appearance Sooyoung asked to walk through the town, all ten escorts crowding them on both sides to keep the people away.  It was bizarre but he was used to it.  The townspeople were always excited to catch a glimpse of them; the crowds would die down once the people were satisfied with the view.

“Thank you again, for coming.”  Sooyoung said to him, he could tell that she was genuinely thankful.

“It’s not a problem.  It should be considered my duty.”

“I know you don’t really like me, or want to hang out with spend more time than necessary with me, and I’m not angry about it.  I just… really needed you to come today.  I’ll try not to have it happen in the future.”  Sooyoung smiled as to lighten the mood.

“Why do you think I don’t like you?  I…”  Well, he didn’t hate her, but he definitely did not like her in the way she would have hoped.  “I do like you.”

“Thank you for trying to make me feel better, but really.  It’s alright.  No personal feelings need to be attached to this marriage, I just want to get this over with and I can finally leave this place…”  Sooyoung paused for a moment when she realized she had said something inappropriate.  “I mean, we can leave, and start our life together.”  She took a look back behind them; the escorts didn’t seem to be paying any attention to their conversation.

“You seem very excited to get married.” 

Sooyoung sighed.  “I just…”  She dropped her tone down to almost a whisper.  “Listen, my father isn’t exactly my favourite person.  He only cares about himself, and he’s extremely inquisitive.  I’d be wary of him, don’t trust him for a second.  If I had to come down here with him it would’ve been a nightmare, he’s always asking me if we are truly going to get married.  I don’t know why he doubts our relationship; I haven’t given him any reason to think otherwise…”

Mark stiffened at her comment.  That was strange.  If Sooyoung hadn’t done anything to raise suspicions, there was no way he would have known and him and Jinyoung, they’d been keeping this secret even from their friends, but then why…

Mark was so lost in thought he didn’t even realize the crowd around them had disappeared completely.

“…you have violated section 13 of the criminal code by performing acts of gross indecency!”  Shouting and booing rang through the town as Mark and Sooyoung turned to see a large gathering in the middle of the main section of the shopping district.  A man stood upon a wooden stand, a noose around his neck. “You will be hanged by the neck until dead and thereafter your body buried within the precincts of the prison!”

Mark looked at Sooyoung with a grave expression on his face.  He knew public executions happened in the town occasionally, but he never thought he would ever witness one himself.  “It’s just an execution, don’t—“Sooyoung tried to speak but was interrupted by the yelling.

“Sir, do you have any reason why the sentence of death should not be pronounced upon you?”  Mark was a bit far away, but he saw the man quivering as he tried to speak.

“I p-plead...”  The man was sweating through his clothes, his entire body drenched.  “I plead on the devotion to the one I love!  You can’t do this—“

“May the lord have mercy on your soul.”  With that last sentence, the man was pushed over the edge and Sooyoung grabbed him by the head and turned him around to face her.

“Don’t look.”  She said; her eyes somber and her hands shaking.

Mark felt numb.  He didn’t say anything as Sooyoung pulled him along back to carriage quickly.  He didn’t say anything the throughout the trip back to the castle.  He didn’t say anything as he brushed passed her as they walked through the doors, hurrying to him room and lying down on his bed.

He was hoping he could sleep away the anguish he felt deep in his soul.