“How long did you know?”  Mark was lying on his bed, face buried in his pillow.  He hadn’t thrown up but he was still in a state of disbelief.

“Well, I had my suspicions since the day I met you, but after Junho, it was kind of obvious.”  Mark kind of wanted to throw the pillow at him but then he wouldn’t have anywhere to hide.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”  Mark felt a bit betrayed.

“Mark, this isn’t something that I’m supposed to tell you!  Even if I had, I doubt you would’ve believed me.  Self-realization was the key.”   

Mark groaned into his pillow.  “This is a disaster.”

“Are you okay Mark? I didn’t think you’d be this…”

“Upset?  Devastated?  Scared?”  Mark felt sick.  In his heart, he knew there was no denying the way he feels anymore but his mind kept telling him that what he was feeling was wrong.  So many things made sense now but he still didn’t want to believe himself. “I’m abnormal, a freak,disgusting.”

Jackson sat down next to him on the bed and tried to get him to lift his head from his pillow.  “Hey!  Don’t say things that aren’t true.”

“It is true!  That’s exactly what everyone would say if I told them.” Jackson kept trying to pull him up but Mark wasn’t budging. 

“Then don’t tell anyone.”

“I wasn’t planning to, it’s probably an offense!  If they get wind of this I’ll be sent to the middle of town to be hung, or burned alive or…”

Jackson hit him hard on the back to shut him up. “You’re not a witch Mark, you just like guys.  Big deal.”

“How are you so calm about this?  Don’t you think I’m disgusting?”  Mark finally turned around to look at him; his eyes were red and swollen. 

Jackson panicked a bit seeing the state Mark was in.  “No! Of course not!  I could never find you disgusting Mark, truly.  I mean, I can’t say that I’m not attracted to guys either so-“

Mark slapped a hand across Jackson’s mouth before he could continue talking (he had learned from experience that was the easiest way to shut him up).  “Wait, Jackson, what did you just say?”

Jackson looked at him for a second after Mark removed his hand before he repeated what he said.  “I don’t find you disgusting and I can’t say that I’m not attracted to guys too—“

Mark felt himself slowly forgetting about the initial shock if his realization and was now more curious about Jackson.  “You like guys?  I was pretty sure you liked girls… don’t lie to make me feel better.”

“I like girls, guys, everyone really.  It’s never been a weird thing for me, no judgment.  Why should you limit yourself to only one gender?”  Mark knew by now how to tell when Jackson was joking and when he was being serious.

Mark was shocked to find this out.  Not that he had ever put a lot of thought into it, but Jackson did seem to be open to a lot of people not really caring about who they were.  He would happily get touchy with everyone.  “Why didn’t you ever tell me that?  What happened to best friends tell each other everything?”

“I didn’t know how you would react, I mean, considering your first thought was that they should be hung or burned alive maybe it was a good call…”  Jackson was trying to lead the conversation back into a less serious zone but Mark wasn’t going to allow that just yet.

Mark was more curious than anything.  “When did you realize that you… you were like this?”

“I mean, there was no sudden realization, I always knew I was like this.  It was always natural for me to like everyone the same way; it never really occurred to me that there was anything wrong with that way of thinking.  It’s just the way I am.”  Mark was staring at him intently.

The puzzle was complete but the picture was clearer now.  “I understand…”  Mark finally felt a bit relieved, not only knowing Jackson was in a similar position but now that he understood his feelings towards everything a bit more.  “Wait, you don’t have a crush on me, right?”

Jackson threw him the most disgusted face he could come up with.  “I can’t believe you just asked me that.  That was so… typical.  I feel like I’mgoing to throw up.”  When Mark just kept staring at him he realized he was waiting for an actual answer.  “No!  God no!  Mark, if I had a crush on you trust me, you would’ve known by now.”

“Well, you are kind of touchy.”

“I’m touchy with everyone.”  Jackson groaned and tried to change the subject.  “Anyways, now that our little secret sharing rendezvous is over, don’t tell anyone about this that you don’t trust.  It is actually dangerous for the wrong people to find out.”

“Relax, I wasn’t planning on telling anyone but you, I’m still not sure if this is even okay to feel like this...”  Mark was dealing with so many conflicting emotions he felt like his heart was fighting a battle with his mind, neither side close to victory.

“If you’re still unsure then why don’t we just run it as a test case?  You don’t try to suppress anything you feel from now on, and if you find out it’s really nothing you can just forget this ever happened.   Just don’t ignore any of your true feelings from now on.”

Jackson was right.  He was always right when it came to situations like these, no matter how much he hated to admit it.  “Deal.”

No matter how hesitant Mark was feeling he decided to take everything in stride.  He wouldn’t be feeling this way without a reason.

Jackson just smiled and tackled him back down on the bed in a bone-crushing hug.  Mark decided not to complain and just let Jackson hug it out.

Dinner time was hectic.  He was guided to the larger dining hall and was seated near Sooyoung at a long dinner table.  Servants were all running around trying to prepare everything so that it was perfect.

Queen and King Park were seated closer to the middle and that was already a ways away from him, then at the end of the table…

“Hey, I think that guy over there is waving at you.” Jackson said from behind him. Sure enough, Mark looked up to see Jinyoung frantically waving his hand from the opposite side of the table, quite a distance away from him.  Mark waved back shyly, wondering why he was so excited to greet him.

“Hey, Mark, is that guy, you know, the guy?”  Jackson asked from behind him only to be shushed by Mark as he gestured to Sooyoung who was sitting right next to him.

“Mark,” Sooyoung spoke up next to him and he jumped, not expecting it.  “Do you know my brother?  He keeps waving over here.”

Mark heard Jackson snort with laughter behind him, trying to hold it in.  Great.

“Oh, yes.  We’ve met once or twice.”  Mark was trying to think of a way to discreetly slap Jackson across the face without making a scene.

“Ah, sorry.  He’s kind of weird.  He didn’t say anything bad about me, right?”

“Actually, he said a lot of great things about you.”

“Oh!  That’s… surprising.”  It was hard to tell how she felt about her brother purely from her actions.  Mark wondered if they were close.

Jackson decided this was the perfect moment to lean over and start whispering in his ear, as he’d finally been able to reign in his laughter.  “That guy you have a crush on is your future wife’s brother?  Seriously?  I thought you were pretty boring Mark but this sounds like a scene from a novel!”

“Jackson, be quiet!”  He said in a hushed shout.  This time Mark did manage to discreetly elbow him in the ribs.  Sooyoung seemed to notice but decided not to question them.

“Mark that actually hurt this time!”  Jackson rubbed the sore spot with a pained expression on his face. 

“You can’t just be saying things like this, whispers or not.”  

“Fine, I’ll keep my teasing for when we’re alone.  I have to go work on the serving staff anyways.  Hopefully, I’ll be able to make a couple of trips to the other side of the table to get a closer look at this guy—“

“You say anything to him I swear, Jackson…”  Mark could think of numerous scenarios that could play out if Jackson decided to talk to Jinyoung and they all ended badly. 

“Alright!  I get it, I’m leaving, and your wife seems to be staring at you anyways.”  With that Jackson left and he turned around to face a confused looking Park Sooyoung.

“S-sorry about that. “  He genuinely hoped that she hadn’t been able to catch any parts of their conversation.  He tried to change the subject before she got the chance to question him.  “So, what’s for dinner tonight?”

She listed off the usual five-course meal for Tuesdays and he could feel himself zoning out by the time she got to the third course.  Small talk didn’t come naturally to him, especially when the other made no effort to actually try to engage him, so they ate in silence for the most part.  The only sounds that could be heard were the clanking of utensils against their plates and the soft melodies of a piano being played.  He wasn’t sure if anyone at the table was talking, the rest of the family too far to tell if they were having hushed conversations.

The atmosphere was cold and he was used to it.  His family dinners often felt the same.  Even if the family wanted to talk it was hardly welcomed, his parents seemed to be set on keeping subjects strictly formal.  He preferred not to speak at all.

He inhaled course after course as it was laid before him.  Whoever thought combining breakfast and dinner into one meal obviously had a small appetite. It was had been torture for his stomach waiting for the dinner hour to begin.

He finished the last bites of his meal before anyone else and decided to just kind of sit there and wait for others to finish.  He wasn’t aware of the way the household worked yet.  He would rather stay put and not come off as rude. 

He found himself looking back down to the opposite side of the table.  Jinyoung sat alone on one end.  He assumed the usual set up would be for each sibling to sit on the far ends and the parents sat in the middle, which was the opposite of the way his own family sat together.  He decided it must’ve been something specific to the northern kingdom.

Jinyoung was still eating.  He looked content, carefully picking things off his plate as he sat alone.  He must’ve been staring for a moment too long because he felt someone nudge him on his shoulder.

“If you’re finished you may excuse yourself, just call someone over to collect your plate.”  Sooyoung said from beside him, noticing his chewing sounds had stopped.

“Oh, right. I wasn’t sure.”  Mark had trouble addressing her seriously.  His emotions were so conflicted he didn’t even want to think about the fact that he had to be married in a few short months.  Their conversations were short and strained and he knew she was starting to pick up on his apprehensive vibes.  For the most part, she didn’t seem upset by it; she mostly just kept her distance, hoping he would open up to her when he was ready to.  He appreciated that.  She was so good to him and he felt bad he was unable to reciprocate her feelings.

Sooyoung finished up her plate as well and took the initiative to call someone over before he could.   Once they were both excused she told him she would be going to bed early and disappeared before he could say anything.  He didn’t mind.

He was about to retire to his room when he heard a sound that could only mean nothing but trouble.  High-pitched laughter reverberated through the now almost silent hall.  He turned his head and found the source immediately, closer to the end of the hall.  Jackson had his arms on top of the piano in an unprofessional way as he tried to make conversation with the piano player, who had stopped playing and looked like his whole body was recoiling backward trying to get away from him.  Jackson was never known for his professionalism. 

Mark found himself speed walking towards the piano in an attempt to save the boy from the incoming storm that was Jackson Wang.  

“You see, I’m actually not all that bad at the piano myself!  I learned a bit when I was younger, I mean it’s been a while since I’ve played a full song, but I’m sure I still know a bit!”  Mark arrived just as Jackson plopped himself down on the piano chair next to the boy and started hitting keys, testing the sound.  “Yes… this all seems so familiar.”

“I’m sorry but I get paid to play the piano and I’m not playing the piano when I really should be playing the piano so if you don’t mind I need to…”  His voice kept getting quieter until it faded into mumbles after he noticed Jackson wasn’t exactly paying attention to him.

“Jackson, why are you tormenting this innocent boy?”  Jackson jumped a bit but then just looked annoyed when he realized it was just him.

“Tormenting?  I just came over here because the piano playing was really nice, I had to see who was behind it!  It reminded me of my childhood.  Look, I can play!”  Jackson reached his arms out, shoving the boy farther towards the edge of the bench and reaching his arm across his body to hit the keys.  The boy just looked at him with an expression that screamed help.

Just as Mark was about to step into the situation Jackson was abruptly yanked up from the bench by the collar of his shirt.  Jackson yelped when he realized he was face to face with a very angry-looking someone.

“What do you think you’re doing?”  The man asked him still holding Jackson up by the collar so that their faces were only a few centimetres apart.  He stared him down.

“What the hell?  Are you nuts?  I was just checking out the piano!” Jackson struggled in his grip but he wasn’t able to detach himself, despite being rather strong.  “Put me down!”

“It looked more like you were harassing him to me.  Apologize and maybe I’ll consider putting you down.”  The man didn’t even flinch despite how much Jackson was squirming around in his grip.

“Hey, um, he really wasn’t harassing me, he was kind of bothering me but, there’s no need…”  The boy spoke up from the piano.

“He had his arm across your body,” He turned back to face Jackson.  “You weren’t doing anything weird, were you?”  Mark understood how the scene could’ve looked strange depending on your viewpoint

“I was just trying to play the piano!  You know, that move where you slide your hand down all the keys from the end… you know...”  Jackson chuckled nervously but the man just looked like he was getting more annoyed.

“Jaebum, let go of him.”  Yet another voice chimed, but this one he knew very well.  Jinyoung stood in front of the piano with his arms crossed, glaring at the man.

He dropped Jackson abruptly causing him to fall back on the bench.   The man finally looked up and noticed Mark was there, he was probably too concerned with the other situation he didn’t notice.  “My apologies, Prince Tuan,” He bowed in his presence.  “I acted out of line.  Please forgive me.”

He would have to get used to people treating him like he was royalty all the time, back in his own home he was pretty formal with everyone. 

The boy sitting at the piano seemed to finally put two and two together and jumped out from his chair.  “Oh!  Prince Tuan!  Your highness!”  He dropped into a full bow before him.

Mark wasn’t sure how to reply and Jinyoung took it upon himself to try to mediate everything instead.  “Jaebum, I don’t think he’s the one you should be apologizing to,” He looked over at Jackson.  “You’re Prince Tuan’s personal servant, correct?”

“Yes!  That’s me!  I’m Jackson, nice to finally meet you!”  Mark tried not to smack his forehead in embarrassment over the way Jackson grabbed his hand and shook it vigorously. 

The man he called Jaebum just looked at him and scoffed.  “I don’t need to apologize; he was the one who was manhandling Youngjae.  He should apologize.”

Jackson was about to yell back at him but Jinyoung stopped him before he could.  “Youngjae is fine, nothing seemed to have happened.  Jackson, don’t bother Youngjae anymore.  Jaebum, don’t overreact.  Youngjae… tell Jaebum to stop freaking out when somebody tries to talk to you.”  With that, he pulled Jaebum along with him over to Mark. “Sorry, this is Jaebum.  He’s my personal servant; he’s harmless, for the most part.”

Jaebum eyed him up and down before bowing again.  “Nice to meet your acquaintance, officially.”  He didn’t seem much for conversations.

 “You don’t need to bow every time, I prefer being informal.”  Mark replied.

Jaebum just nodded quickly, looking like he just wanted to leave.  Jinyoung gave his a disapproving glance before walking over and pulling the other boy towards him.  “This is Youngjae, he’s a servant but also amazing at playing the piano.  He’s definitely harmless.”

“Hi!  I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you!  I’m Youngjae! Congrats on getting engaged!  Sooyoung is really pretty!  You’re very lucky!”  Youngjae seemed like the type to always talk in shouts rather than normal speech.  Maybe he and Jackson would be able to get along after all.

“Nice to meet you, Youngjae.”  Mark smiled at him and he looked pleased with his reaction.  Cute.

Jackson hopped up from the bench and immediately went over to greet Youngjae himself.  “Sorry if I was intimidating earlier!  I was just excited to see the piano; your playing is amazing by the way.  It brought back so many memories!”

Youngjae seemed to have realized he was harmless and bowed to him.  “It’s alright.  I just wasn’t used to meeting anyone so…excited.  I don’t mind!  Jackson, was it?”

“Yes!  That’s me!  Your playing was so inspiring!  I feel rejuvenated just listening to it.”  Jackson always sounded so genuine, and now Youngjae was smiling at him.   “Hey, you think maybe you could teach me piano sometime?  I really want to get back into it!”

Youngjae was about to reply but he was grabbed by the waist and pulled away before he could.  “We’re leaving, nice meeting everyone.”  Jaebum said as he dragged Youngjae along by the waist. Youngjae tried to get loose with no success.  He eventually gave up and just decided to wave goodbye before he was pulled out of sight.

Jinyoung sighed and turned back to Mark and Jackson.  “Don’t worry about them.  I’m still trying to figure them out.” 

Jackson looked disappointed for a moment then he looked over to Jinyoung and immediately got a spring back into his step and he went over to talk to him.  “So, Prince Park was it?  What do you like to do for fun?  Are you an evening or morning person?  What’s your sign—“ 

Mark grabbed Jackson by the arm pulled him backward.  “Actually, I’m tired.  We’re going to bed.”

“Why am I going to bed if you’re the one who’s tired—hey!”  Mark yanked his arm so that he was standing behind him.

“It was nice seeing you again Prince Park.  Sorry about Jackson.”  Mark bowed in apology and Jinyoung just smiled, his eyes crinkling as usual.

“It’s not a problem.  He seems… nice.”  Jinyoung took a step forward and leaned into Mark to whisper in his ear.  “Don’t forget you promised to meet me tomorrow.”  Mark was flustered again and Jinyoung laughed softly.  He waved goodbye and disappeared in the opposite direction.

Jackson took one look at Mark’s flushed face and started laughing.  “Oh man, you’ve got it bad.”

Mark was annoyed with Jackson already and he wasn’t making the situation any better.  “Jackson, why do you always seem to get yourself into trouble?  I thought that guy was about to choke you with your own tie for a second there.”

“No way!  I didn’t mind it that much anyways.  His face was really close to mine… and damn he was good looking.”  Jackson pretended to fan himself and Mark just stood there staring at him, flabbergasted.

“Jackson… you’re ridiculous.”