By the time that the hype of Youngwoon’s birthday get-together passes, another birthday arrives.

Kyuhyun wakes up on the morning of Friday, February 3rd, with an expectant grin on his lips. Today is his eighth birthday, a day that sparks memories of great parties past and an immense amount of gifts from his extended family. Memories of chocolate ice cream cake with rainbow sprinkles, and the smile on Jungsu’s face as Kyuhyun blows out the candles. Memories of the Chois handing him a huge wrapped box with a red bow on top, and of the Shins trying to beat him at his favorite video games. Every single one of these thoughts forces Kyuhyun’s reminiscent smile wider and wider, until his whole face is one big grin.

He hops out of bed. Ryeowook is missing from his own, which means he’s probably asleep in between their parents after another one of his nightmares. Kyuhyun scrunches his nose up at that thought, sneaking into Jungsu and Youngwoon’s bedroom. There’s no one there and the bed is made. Kyuhyun his head, wondering where everyone could possibly be. Then he glances at the clock; Jongwoon and Youngwoon are already at school and work by this time. The other two should still be in the house...

He suddenly hears a tiny giggle, one that could only be possessed by Ryeowook. He turns around and heads out the door and down to the kitchen, his heart racing.

“Happy birthday!”

Kyuhyun blushes. There is a giant cupcake sitting on the table, a lit candle standing in it. Jungsu and Ryeowook surround it, bright smiles on their faces.

Kyuhyun shrieks, rushing into the room and hopping up on a chair. He leans over the cupcake, brown eyes reflecting the flame. He puckers his lips and blows out the candle in one try.

“Yay!” Ryeowook claps, turning to his father, “Can we eat it now, Umma?”

Jungsu chuckles, reaching over to ruffle his son’s hair, “It’s for Kyuhyun only, silly. You’ll get one for your birthday.”

“Aww…” Ryeowook pouts, puffing out his cheeks. Then, all of a sudden, he is overcome by compulsive sniffing, growing in intensity, until he finally lets loose a huge sneeze, all over the table, the cupcake, and even Kyuhyun.

“Ew!” Kyuhyun screams, jumping up and down and rubbing his eyelids. “Wook, you sneezed all over me! So gross!” When he opens his eyes, he notices the big, disgusting glob of snot covering the frosting swirl on top of his birthday cupcake.

Kyuhyun feels hot in his cheeks, and the burning sensation of tears in his eyes. “You ruined my cupcake!”

“I’m sorry,” the boy wipes his nose with a tissue that Jungsu hands him, “It was an accident.”

“We can get another one,” Jungsu reassures, but Kyuhyun doesn’t hear him.

The tears blur Kyuhyun’s vision. Here is a perfect, and probably delicious cupcake made specially for him, and Ryeowook, the stupid, immature little brat he is, has to go and ruin it all!

“You did it on purpose!” Kyuhyun jumps onto the table and knocks Ryeowook out of his chair and onto the kitchen tiles. The boy screams upon impact, curling up into a little ball.

“Kyuhyun!” Over the selfish roaring in his ears, Kyuhyun hears Jungsu gasp loudly, rushing down to scoop up the injured boy. Kyuhyun’s stomach drops when he sees the incredulous look on his father’s face. He scrambles off of the table, smooshing his ruined cupcake all over the kneecaps of his footie pajamas, and stands in front of the them.

As he watches Ryeowook wail in pain, he is faced with the gravity of his mistake. Everyone and everything else suddenly looks bigger; the table and chairs tower over him, Jungsu is a giant, and the kitchen is a gaping cavern. Kyuhyun is so small that Ryeowook’s glasses, thrown on the floor, look immense.

He picks them up gingerly, hands shaking, and then hands them to Ryeowook, who doesn’t take them. Jungsu grabs them, standing up with the boy in his arms, and looks down at Kyuhyun with unfamiliar scolding eyes.

“If you aren’t ready for school in the next three minutes, then I’m taking Ryeowook to the hospital and leaving you at home.”

~

Ryeowook holds the ice pack to his temple, head tilting as he is pulled into sleep. The car brakes, waking him back up just in time to see the big white building towering over him.

Jungsu parks in a stall close to the entrance. Ryeowook holds the ice tighter to his head when there is a throb of hot pain. Then the waterworks start again.

“Umma…” he calls when his father opens the car door, “It hurts!”

Jungsu shushes him gently, unbuckling the third grader’s carseat and holding his arms out, “Wook, I can only carry you to the front entrance, okay? Then you have to walk like a big boy.”

Ryeowook nods, grasping onto his father’s neck and sobbing into his shoulder. The ice pack slips out of his hand and into the elder’s, who wraps his arms tightly around the child’s back and bottom.

Ryeowook loves his Umma. Jungsu pampers him the most, almost to the point of spoiling him rotten. He sings to him when he has nightmares, gives him sweets when he asks for them, and often helps him with his homework in spite of Jongwoon’s claim to be free enough to help Ryeowook on his own.

Ryeowook wouldn’t know what to do without his adoptive parents. He doesn’t remember anything about his birth parents, whom he was told by caregivers gave him up as soon as he was born. He doesn’t even know their names. All he does know is that Jungsu is his Umma now, Youngwoon his Appa, and Jongwoon his big brother.

It’s only in his imagination where Kyuhyun really is his little brother.

~

Kyuhyun wears a scowl on his face the entire school day. He doesn’t care if it’s his birthday; nothing good has happened and there is nothing to be happy about. Max notices this sudden change at lunchtime.

“Kyu, what in the world is wrong with you?” he puts his tiny fists at his hips, pouting with his thin lips, “You’re like a grumpy cat.”

“Grumpy cat?” Kyuhyun’s eyebrows furrow, “I’m not an animal, Max.”

Max pokes his tongue out, “You’re such a meanie. Did your mommy forget to pack you a lunch?”

Kyuhyun picks his lunchbox up from the floor and places it on his desk, “No, it’s right here.” He opens it up and takes out the daily message. It reads: “Happy Birthday Kyuhyun, my lovely star.” Kyuhyun smiles warmly at it; Jungsu probably wrote it way before this morning’s incident.

“What?!” Max exclaims, having eavesdropped over the boy’s shoulder, “It’s your birthday? That’s awesome! But why are you so upset?”

Kyuhyun shrugs, taking his tangerine out and peeling it slowly.

Giving Kyuhyun a scowl, Max suddenly rips a piece of paper out of his notebook and begins folding it up. Kyuhyun doesn’t pay him any mind, eating the tangerine pieces and then unwrapping the straw for his juice box. The dark clouds linger in his head, and he starts to feel really tired. He’s not sure if the tightness in his chest is anger at Ryeowook for ruining his cupcake, sadness for his birthday not being what he wanted, or guilt for hurting his brother. He likes to think it’s not the last one.

“Here.” Max shoves a thin object in Kyuhyun’s face, in between his lips and the straw.

Kyuhyun puts his drink down and takes it. The blue object is an origami fish, decorated crudely and quickly with a yellow highlighter and a black marker to make it look like Dory.

Max clears his throat, “Happy birthday, Kyuhyun. Next time, tell me yesterday so I can make a prettier present.”

Kyuhyun just stares at the cute little paper fish. Max made him an origami version of Nemo for last year’s birthday. It was so much neater than this one, but Kyuhyun suddenly doesn’t care. This is the only real present he’s gotten all day. That puts a smile on his face.

“Thank you, Max!” Kyuhyun swoops around in his chair and embraces his best friend. When he pulls back, the boy’s big ears are crimson red.

“You’re welcome…”

The bell rings and Kyuhyun closes his lunchbox, having only eaten a tiny bit. Max didn’t eat anything except a banana. He leaves Kyuhyun’s classroom with a pink blush and a wave, going back to his own second grade class.

Kyuhyun’s teacher gets up from his desk when the second bell rings. The boy expects him to start explaining today’s art activity, but he doesn’t. Instead he makes Kyuhyun’s heart sink.

“Now, class. During our art activity today, I am going to talk to each and every one of you about your last math test scores. Some of you did very well; one of you even got a perfect!”

The class murmurs with rumors of who is most likely to have gotten the 100%. Many of them whisper Kyuhyun’s name.

Kyuhyun doesn’t say anything. That test was the hardest one he’s ever taken, in spite of what others said. He’s not exactly sure he did all that well, or that he even wants to know how he did. Especially not on his birthday.

“Kyuhyun Kim. Please come up to my desk.”

Kyuhyun glances up from his lap. He missed what the art project was, but that doesn’t matter since he’s first to learn his test score. Just great.

With feet heavy as lead, he stands up and walks over to his teacher’s desk. The man stares back at him with warm brown eyes, plump lips pressed in a concerned line. Kyuhyun knows that something bad is coming.

“Yes, Mr.?” Kyuhyun doesn’t call him Mr. Choi, because that’s Siwon’s name. Plus, his teacher lets Kyuhyun call him Minho when they’re alone after school sometimes.

“Come around here,” Minho gestures for the boy to come behind the desk, where no student is allowed, “Look here.”

Kyuhyun does so, trying to process the chart that Minho shows him on screen: a bunch of tall, green bars, and then one really short red bar at the end. “What’s that?”

“Your exam scores.” Minho hands him a piece of paper, a familiar one. It’s covered in red marks and the sight of it makes Kyuhyun tear up. He hides his face from Minho’s view. “I’m really concerned, Kyuhyun. Your scores are usually at the top. What happened with this test?”

Kyuhyun hangs his head, “I don’t know. I wasn’t feeling too good.”

“Well, if you ever need help, you are always welcome to ask me.” Minho says, and then sends the boy back to his desk.

Kyuhyun stuffs the test into his backpack immediately, tears blurring his view. Then he buries his face into his arms and rests on his desk.

Worst birthday ever.

~

    Jongwoon receives a text at three o’clock in the afternoon. He has just finished sixth period  and is about to walk home. His parents let him, as long as he has a friend to accompany him.

Zhoumi strolls alongside him, on a strawberry lollipop. “Is it your Appa?” he mumbles around the candy.

The slightly younger boy shakes his head, “Umma says that he can’t pick Kyu up from school today since he took Wookie to the doctor’s and they say he needs a lot of rest. Plus Appa is at work.”

“Oh!” Zhoumi grins, the lollipop stick poking out of his mouth, “I’ll walk with you to pick him up. It’s not that far, is it?”

“Not really. Thanks, Mimi.”  

The best friends walk together along the sidewalk in mostly silence. Jongwoon goes over his algebra flashcards in his head while Zhoumi listens to his iPod. They don’t usually talk on the way home, so it isn’t weird for the only sounds to be of other walking children, passing cars, and the cold wind. The weather is freezing; the younger pulls his scarf up over his pink nose. Zhoumi doesn’t seem to notice the cold, ironically because his head is much higher in the clouds than Jongwoon’s is.

It takes half an hour to walk to Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, and Henry’s elementary school. On sidewalk paths around it, there are still leftover puddles from this morning’s rain, and the grassy field is covered with droplets of water. The two walk up the path, almost bumping into a group of kindergartners rushing past them.

Zhoumi chuckles, thumbing in their direction, “Remember when we were that squirrely?”

Jongwoon rolls his eyes, “You’re still like that.”

“No way!” Zhoumi claims, “You didn’t know me in kinder. I was a nightmare! I ate all of Hyuk’s candy and drank the cola he bought from the convenience store. I once drank a whole liter bottle all by myself! Well, I got very sick after that, but I was so proud.”

Jongwoon shakes his head, laughs spilling out of his lips. Zhoumi is a very entertaining friend; on any given day, he’s either absolutely bonkers, super intelligent, incredibly caring, or impossibly adorable. Sometimes all at once, like now.

The office building comes into view, a stocky red-brick block encircled by groups of children and their parents. Jongwoon knows to check there because the gate to the classrooms is locked, which means that there should be no one in them.

“You gonna pick Henry up too?” Jongwoon asks, opening the glass door.

Zhoumi shakes his head, “Dad dropped him off at Chen’s place already.”

Jongwoon nods in acknowledgement. A family squeezes between them, mumbling apologies.

They spot Kyuhyun across the office, sitting in a red chair that’s way too big for him in spite of his taller-than-average height. He glances up, but looks away almost instantly. His expression is too sober for someone whose birthday is today.

“Hi, Kyuhyun.” Zhoumi says when they get closer, “We’re here to pick you up today.”

Kyuhyun nods, silently picking up his Snoopy backpack and joining them. Jongwoon feels a strange pang when he watches his brother crumple up a paper in his hand and hold it to his chest protectively.

“Whatcha got there?” the eldest asks, holding the door open for the other two.

Kyuhyun shakes his head, rushing ahead of them on the path to the sidewalk.

Jongwoon catches up, “Is it a birthday card from someone? Why are you crumpling it?”

Kyuhyun locks eyes with him, “Yeah, it’s a-"

“It’s your birthday, Kyuhyun?” Zhoumi gasps, “Well happy birthday! What are you, seven now?”

“Eight,” the kid shoves the paper into his jacket pocket. Even though he doesn’t seem to be angry at his brother or Zhoumi, Jongwoon can detect a storm brewing behind Kyuhyun’s brown eyes, furrowed brow, and pursed lips.

Jongwoon makes a turn onto the next street, “Something wrong?”

Kyuhyun’s eyes widen, and he turns his head away from the preteens. But then he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the wad of paper, shoving it into his elder brother’s hand.

Exchanging wary glances with his friend, Jongwoon opens up the paper. On it are twelve math problems, and a bold title at the top that reads “Chapter Test”. Covering the paper is a layer of red: red Xs, slashes, corrections, and a big fat 33% scribbled on the corner.

At the bottom, the teacher has written What happened?

Jongwoon echoes, “An F? Kyuhyun, what happened?”

Kyuhyun shrugs in answer, wiping his eyes which, now that Jongwoon notices, look swollen from earlier crying. “I dunno. I thought it was easy. And I thought wrong. Whatever.”

Whatever? Jongwoon’s face feels hot. “School isn’t ‘whatever’, Kyuhyun.”

Kyuhyun shrugs again and that makes Jongwoon’s brow furrow so much that it hurts. How can a seven-year-old, who doesn’t know any better than to do what his parents tell him, think that school is just ‘whatever’? Jongwoon is reminded of the perfect student that he was at Kyuhyun’s age, when they lived farther north. He didn’t question the justness of his education; he did what he was told. His father’s voice echoes in his head: Family may be first, but your education is a close second.

“Remember what Appa told us, Kyu.”

Kyuhyun presses his lips together in a line, “I don’t need to remember. I do what I want!”

“You what?” Jongwoon’s ears redden and he can nearly see stars. He has never yelled at his little brother before. Well, Kyuhyun has never failed a test before.

“Why are you so mad at me? It’s only one test!”

“But you’re really good at math. We even practiced together last weekend; you seemed fine!”

Kyuhyun shies away, eyes refusing to make contact. He doesn’t seem to want to answer. Having stayed silent the whole time, Zhoumi takes notice of this and pats Jongwoon’s shoulder. “Let him be. It’s not the end of the world. Plus, who didn’t have trouble with adding fractions?”

Jongwoon remains ticked off. He wants to be a good influence to his brother and not criticize him for this simple thing, but he almost can’t help it. “Kyuhyun, this isn’t like you!”

“Leave me alone!” Kyuhyun shouts, tears in his eyes, “I don’t like when you yell! Everyone yells at me too much! Appa yells at me too much! You sound like Appa!”

“But I can’t have you making a mistake like this!” Jongwoon snaps.

“Woonie…” Zhoumi whispers.

The younger doesn’t listen. “What will happen when I tell Appa and Umma? What will they say?”

Then Kyuhyun cries out. He balls up on the sidewalk and covers his face with his hands, wailing.

Jongwoon blinks quickly, realizing that he has gone way too far. Kyuhyun is only seven years old; there is no reason to be putting such pressure on him. He didn’t realize how mad he could get since hardly anything makes him like this.

Zhoumi crouches down and wraps his arms around Kyuhyun, who buries his dark brown head in the elder’s shoulder. Jongwoon is frozen to his spot for a moment, and then he begins to regret everything.

“Ah, Kyu...I’m so s-sorry,” he stutters, reaching down to the other boys.

Kyuhyun pushes him away, “No, I don’t want you!”

Jongwoon’s eyes widen. Zhoumi looks up at him with an expression that is a mixture of sympathy and disapproval. The younger doesn’t know what to do. His brother probably hates him now.

They remain quiet, the only sounds are Kyuhyun’s sniffles. Jongwoon is glad that nobody is around at the moment; adults would be so concerned and would want to know exactly what has happened.

Kyuhyun actually falls asleep in Zhoumi’s arms, right there on the sidewalk.

“Can you carry him?” Jongwoon asks, brushing his black hair out of his eyes.

Zhoumi shrugs and tries it out. Kyuhyun is very light, although quite tall for his age. “Yeah, it’s okay. How much farther is your house?”

“A few minutes.”

“Okay.”

This time the silence isn’t exactly settling.

~

Kyuhyun’s dreams are no escape. Jongwoon’s shrill, scolding voice brings back memories of the bad times in his life; at the orphanage, and even in the few years that he has been adopted by the Kims. The times that made him cower in his room, hot tears streaming down his face and chest heaving with choking sobs. The times where he missed his old family, his real family, the one with no one left. The times that are so minimal, yet incredibly salient in his mind.

You better learn your ABCs right now, otherwise no one will want to adopt you! The caretakers used to tell him when he was only two years old, when no one had ever spoken to him like that before.

Leave me alone! Go to your studies! Jongwoon every night.

I don’t wanna play with you! You’re mean! Ryeowook says to him constantly.

Kyuhyun, Umma is very busy now. Jungsu every so often.

Appa is upset with you, Kyuhyun! Youngwoon, every time Kyuhyun messes up.

The voices echo in his head. They say such mundane things, but each word slices through his heart, makes him understand that he still doesn’t belong with them.

That the Kims are still not his family.

~

Kyuhyun wakes up in his shared room, and he’s not alone. Ryeowook is asleep in his own bed, covers piled on top of him. The younger glances at the owl clock hanging on the wall next to him; it’s almost four o’clock, which means that Jungsu has already left for work, and Youngwoon should be home.

Kyuhyun gets up from his bed. He is about to exit the room when a whine catches his attention.

He knows that Ryeowook is having another nightmare. He doesn’t want to look back. Doesn’t want to comfort his adopted brother. Doesn’t care.

But he can’t help himself. He turns around and kneels by Ryeowook’s bed. The boy is curled up in a ball, fists clenched, thumb lingering near his lips. Watching him sleep, Kyuhyun doesn’t understand how this is his older brother. Ryeowook has always acted younger, been more spoiled by Jungsu, allocated the most stuffed animals. Kyuhyun loathes him; he’s too whiny and annoying. Plus he ruined Kyuhyun’s special birthday dessert.

So why does Kyuhyun find himself brushing the boy’s bangs out of his eyes and holding his hands?

Kyuhyun hates this. For the past four years, he has been on the fence about whether or not the Kims really are the family he is meant to be with. He is completely confused and out of place; thinking about this gives the little boy a headache that he doesn’t need. So he tries to ignore it.

Once Ryeowook appears to have calmed down, Kyuhyun stands up and leaves before someone finds him comforting his supposedly hated brother.

~

Sitting on the kitchen table, Youngwoon stares at the mutilated paper in his hand with a mixture of emotions. First, Jungsu tells him that Kyuhyun injured Ryeowook, and now Jongwoon has given him Kyuhyun’s first F in math. The boy already had a fight in school yesterday, and even pranked a kindergartner after school. What could Kyuhyun possibly do next?

Since the boy is asleep, Youngwoon calls him lucky. But when he wakes up, he’s getting the lecture of a lifetime. How could a little seven-year-old cause this much trouble in two days?

The man puts the exam down, letting his gaze fall on the dessert resting on the table in front of him. He wrinkles his nose at the fresh strawberry cupcake; he didn’t agree to Jungsu’s decision to get Kyuhyun a new one in spite of the child’s terrible behavior.

I’m sure he didn’t mean it, Jungsu said with a lopsided smile, but his eyebrows were knit with worry.

Youngwoon rubs his eyes, getting up. He should probably work on grading his students’ exams. Probably.

As he walks into the living room to get his satchel, he spots a certain someone playing on his DS like nothing has happened. The boy glares at the screen, focused on playing the game, his fingers moving impossibly fast. Youngwoon watches him get mad at it, growling and then throwing the console on the floor.

He then notices Youngwoon and gasps. “Uh, Appa. Sorry, I’ll pick it up.”

Youngwoon shakes his head in disapproval, gesturing for him to do so. “Don’t throw stuff around, Kyuhyun.”

“I know. Sorry.”

Youngwoon sighs. He doesn’t feel a single spark of anger in his system, even though he should be furious at the boy for what he has done. Hurt Ryeowook, bullied other kids in school, failed a test. Recounting what he was told actually starts to spark up that fury.

“Kyuhyun, is there something you need to tell me about today?” Youngwoon squares his stance, crossing his arms.

Kyuhyun’s eyes go wide. He drops the DS and stands up slowly from his crouching position. “Uhm...it’s my birthday?”

Youngwoon taps his foot. “You don’t need me to yell, do you?”

Kyuhyun holds his hands up, “Please, no! Jongwoon already chewed me out. Please, Appa, I promise to be good!”

Youngwoon raises an eyebrow at him. He needs to punish the boy, but does he have to yell? Maybe not. “Okay, tell me what happened.”

Kyuhyun’s mouth is agape as he lowers his arms, apparently shocked that his father isn’t yelling at him. “Oh...Well, I, uh...I got a bad grade on a math test. And Ryeowook’s bruises...they’re because of me. I’m sorry…”

“You better tell him that when he wakes up.” Youngwoon taps his foot, “I heard a more detailed story from your Umma. So I’m going to have to punish you.”

Kyuhyun hangs his head.

“No games for the rest of the week. And you can’t go over to Max’s house for two weeks.”

Kyuhyun sighs loudly, head still down, “Okay, Appa. But will I still have a birthday?”

Youngwoon sighs as well, placing his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Your Umma bought you another cupcake to replace the one Ryeowook sneezed on. And I have a present for you. Is that birthday enough?”

“Can I have a candle on this one too?” Kyuhyun asks, finally looking up at his father, eyes bright.

Youngwoon feels a pang in his heart, “Sure.”

~

Kyuhyun decides that this might not be the worst birthday after all.

A/N: Hope you liked this chapter! Kyuhyun is too smart for his age lol. I'll try not to make him suffer so much next time. Also, I am officially at 50 PAGES IN MY DOCUMENT OF THIS FANFIC man its gonna be novel-length!...NOW! As a gift to you, my readers, for being so amazing (and having to suffer through this terrible chapter), I have started a Rated M companion fanfiction connected to this one! Go here to read the first chapter! (SiChul is up first!!)