Woohyun gathered himself just in time to see the two Sirena darting away with his partner. A shine of silver caught his eye, and he waded deeper into the ocean to find Sunggyu’s scepter sitting on the sandy floor.

The moment he grabbed onto the staff, it propelled forward, nearly flying out of Woohyun’s hands once again. Instead of losing his grip on the staff, however, he lost his grip on the floor, turning into a lifeless kite as his body whipped about in the wind behind the flying staff.

Thankfully, the staff paid some heed to its human passenger and avoided the boulders and stalagmites that dotted the cave it flew through. In fact, it even came to a steady stop when they arrived behind a boulder that concealed them from the Sirena’s view. It rather thought somebody ought to praise it.

“Ugh, you guys couldn’t pick a more comfortable rock to tie me to?” A voice pierced through the enclosed space.

“Why do you get to play with him first?” one of the Sirena whined, ignoring the hostage’s complaints.

“I didn’t ruin our plan and make us lose the other one,” the other said.

“If it weren’t for me, you would be fried by now.” Woohyun peeked out to see the blonde Sirena nursing a burn mark on her arm. Indeed, Sunggyu was tied to a rather uneven (and possibly slightly sharp) rock with several layers of kelp. “I got hurt in battle, so I should get priority.”

“Jessica’s right,” Sunggyu said.

The brunette Sirena shot a glare at their hostage, “Oh, you shut up.”

“See? Even our hostage thinks I’m the prettier one.”

“Actually, I think Taeyeon is the prettier - “

Jessica whipped her tail around to splash Sunggyu in the face, leaving him coughing and sputtering. “Hey!”

Jessica inspected her fingernails. “Anyway. Can I get the first bite?”

Taeyeon was miffed. “What? No way, I did most of the work!”

“Most of the work, please. I’m the one with the battle scars, remember? Besides, I carried most of his weight here. You were barely holding onto one of his feet!”

“Now wait a minute, I’m not that heavy…”

Taeyeon scoffed, “Well, if he’s too heavy for you, maybe you should find somebody lighter to suit your tastes and just leave him with me!”

“No way! We don’t get young, tender meat around here that often. Sailors are salty and have scurvy.”

Sunggyu smirked. “Ladies, ladies. I know I’m delicious, but can we maybe...move the conversation away from eating me? That sounds like a great idea.”

From his hiding place, Woohyun mentally facepalmed.

Suddenly, the staff began to vibrate. Woohyun quickly let go, not wanting to be flown unceremoniously around the cave again, not to mention risking his own life, and let the staff fly towards Sunggyu. The two Sirena immediately leapt up to try and intercept the staff, but it easily evaded their attempts, landing happily in Sunggyu’s hands.

The kelp around his arms fell off and he stretched out, though his legs were still bound to the rock. Still, his arms were all he needed to conjure a portal above Woohyun’s hiding place and conjure a bow and a quiver of arrows for him. “Try to be useful this time,” he grumbled rather loudly to his hidden partner.

“What the ?” Jessica shrieked. “Did you not tie the kelp properly?”

Sunggyu shrugged, “Let’s just say I have a lot of experience with...", and here he smirked wickedly, "...being tied up.”

“Ew.” Woohyun groaned quietly. “Never again. Besides if you were in that position, wouldn’t you want to stay restrained-...?” Realizing he was speaking out loud, he clamped a hand over his mouth and (blindly) prepared his bow and arrow in case he needed to attack an investigating Sirena.

“We can 100% hear you, you know,” Sunggyu muttered.

“,” Woohyun climbed up onto the rock he was hiding behind, sheepishly smiling, “Hey guys, what’s up?”

Sunggyu rolled his eyes. “Great, the dumb one’s here,” Taeyeon muttered as Woohyun made high-pitched noises and threw hearts at the girls.

Woohyun used Heart Throw!

It wasn’t very effective...

“The are you doing,” Jessica sneered.

Disappointed that his hearts had no effect, Woohyun slumped his shoulders and pulled out an arrow from his quiver. He aimed at Jessica and shot.

The arrow fell pathetically two feet away from him.

Sunggyu groaned. “Damn, you're weak. What are all those muscles for then?” Still, he happily used the distraction to untie his legs from the rock.

“They help my heart throw attack,” Woohyun said with a smarmy smile.

Now freed from his restraints, Sunggyu stood high on the boulder. “Alright, fun’s over. We need to know how you got here, and we’re sending you back,” Sunggyu said.

“Oh. That’s why you’re here? You should have said so from the beginning. I’m so tired of this and I need my Tiffany,” Taeyeon grumbled.

“I miss my YoonA too! Don’t think you’re the only one who wants to go back,” Jessica spat back.

“It would be nice if we could bring back a souvenir…” Taeyeon eyed Sunggyu and Woohyun, “Or two.”

“No,” Sunggyu said, a bit too defensively. “Anyways, tell us how you got here.”

“Ugh, I don’t even remember. Ask her. I think I see a boat just along the coastline. Be back in a few.” Taeyeon splashed her way out of the cave, and Woohyun made a last attempt at a heart throw (but to no avail).

Jessica rolled her eyes, “Clearly, I’m the smarter one here. Anyways, we were doing our usual thing - drowning babies, killing guys, whatever - and there was this one ship with a funny-looking man on board. I mean, he even had this unnatural, golden brown hair.”

Sunggyu scoffed. Changing hair colors was almost an everyday occurrence from where he came from.

Jessica shot him a glare, and continued, “Everyone else was freaking out and trying to get to the lifeboats, but he was just standing there, with this weird swirling hole on the water next to him.

A portal? Woohyun thought. At that moment, Taeyeon emerged from the mouth of the cave with what looked like a necklace of teeth that Woohyun swore wasn’t around her neck when she left. He grimaced.

Jessica eyed the necklace with envy before continuing. “He was holding this really delicious-smelling sweet in his hands. I had never smelled anything like it before. It wasn’t from our world, but it was...I dunno, it was beckoning to me. I had to have it.”

Taeyeon smirked. “You’re still only at that part of the story?”

The blonde Sirena shot a glare. “Shut up, don’t interrupt. Anyway, Taeyeon got a whiff of it as well and tried to beat me to it, but he jumped through the hole and we followed him. When we got there, he and the sweet were gone, and the hole had closed behind us.”

“Golden-brown hair,” Sunggyu muttered, hastily trying to get away from the Sirena before they had second thoughts about bringing the two men as souvenirs, “And sweets. Good to know. Anyway, it was lovely chatting with you ladies, but I have to send you home now.” With that, he went through his usual portal-opening routine and gestured like a doorman for the Sirena to enter.

The two Sirena took one last glance at the two of them before approaching the portal. Taeyeon stuck her head through to make sure the destination was where they were from. “How did he know where we’re from?” She asked Jessica, but didn’t wait for anybody to answer her before hopping through with a, “I’M COMING, TIFFANY!”

Jessica rolled her eyes and smiled disturbingly sweetly at the two of them. “Thanks, we owe you one. Let us know if you want any...favors.”

She blew a kiss at the two of them.

It was super effective! Kind of. Woohyun felt weak in the knees.

Sunggyu was unaffected.

“Pfft,” she hopped through the portal after her leader.

Before the portal closed, Woohyun scampered up to the opening and poked his head through. “Remember me, my lovelies!”

Sunggyu, fearing that the doofus would either fall through or that his head would get cut off with the closing of the portal, ran up and grabbed Woohyun by the hair. “You need to keep your in your pants.”

“Oww! Ow!” Woohyun slapped Sunggyu’s hands away. “That hurt,” he pouted and started making high-pitched noises again, but this time, unaccompanied by the ridiculous hearts.

“Come on, let’s go get our stuff,” Sunggyu yanked on Woohyun’s arm. “The scepter can fly us back, I’m too tired to walk.”

Before Woohyun could protest, Sunggyu latched onto the scepter, grabbed onto the younger’s hand, and the two went flying off to shore, where Woohyun expected his phone to be happily waiting. Instead, it was empty.

“ ,” Woohyun fumbled through his pockets to pull out his phone, which was now waterlogged and defunct.

“You should really get a waterproof one. How did you not feel it this entire time?” Sunggyu said, pulling out his own phone, which looked very high-tech and was functioning perfectly well, “And who were you gonna call, anyways? I don’t think your phone has interdimensional service.”

He sent a quick message to Hoya, debriefing him on the Sirena situation and telling him to meet him at the cafe immediately. He gestured to Woohyun, who was still lamenting over his phone. With a chuckle, he patted the younger on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s go.”