The whole story will be told from Sandeul's POV, other than the diary entries, so...cha. Enjoy :)

“Sun Woo, come on. It’s time for our Saturday meeting.”

I was watching tentatively from the side, trying to peek into the room. Jin Young had decided to use the direct approach this time, and to tell the truth, I really didn’t think that it was going to work. And what do you know. It didn’t.

Baro was leaning against the wall on the floor, writing in some notebook of his, when we tried carrying out our plan. He looked up and scowled, and for some reason, this scored bloody streaks across my heart.

“What makes you think I’m coming?” he said, shutting the book.

“Sun Woo,” Jin Young was trying to instruct him, without sounding too forceful. “You’ve been off in your attitude lately.”

Yeah, if lately means the past few months, I thought bitterly.

“You’ve been skipping practice, disappearing at night, and you’re rude to our manager and work partners,” Jin Young listed. “What’s come over you? Listen, stardom comes with a requirement, and that’s hard work. We have to work together for B1A4, isn’t that what we agreed on when we started out?”

Baro stood up, chucking his notebook aside, and for a moment I really thought he was going to come out and tell us what was wrong. Hope just went and stabbed me in the back.

“If you think you can make me do something by throwing your weight around, ordering me with a few words you think are as pretty as you, then you’re wrong,” Baro sneered, shoving Jin Young out of the room. “Get out of my face.”

With that, he slammed the door shut, and I could hear the click of the lock sliding in.

“It’s okay hyung, you tried your best,” Gong Chan was trying to comfort Jin Young, who looked so wounded, even I wanted to go and give him a hug. I knew how much responsibility he felt, being the leader, and Baro was the first with problems of such a large scale that he had to deal with.

Baro...I turned to the locked door, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall. Anxiety was ripping me apart, filling my head with scenarios I never thought he’d be involved in. What happened to the sweet, funny hamster boy of B1A4?

There were times when the Sun Woo I knew would resurface, the times he genuinely smiled, or during moments when we performed onstage. I’d see the passion, the happiness in his eyes, and really, there was nothing more I wanted to see. But then he’d disappear before I could catch him and make him stay forever.

The door suddenly flew open once more, and Baro came out. But my heart sank as soon as I saw him.

“You’re going out again?” I blurted out. He glanced at me, and I winced. I had never gotten used to the deadened glare he always wore.

“What does it look like?”

He wore a thin white shirt under a black leather jacket, and dark jeans, while sliding on one of his tinted shades. I wanted to just grab him and hold him forever so he could never get out and hurt himself like he was doing now. But nobody stopped him as he headed to the door. We all knew we couldn’t.

“Sun Woo.”

Baro turned at the voice, all of us did. I was slightly surprised. Shin Woo never spoke during our confrontations- he only stood aside and observed.

“You’re ruining us.”

It was a shocker, how much emotion he managed to convey through those three words. His stone-hard stare didn’t change, but I could tell that he was just as hurt by Baro as the rest of us.

“If you’ve got something you need to get off your back, spit it out now, or it’ll remain driven up your ,” Shin Woo continued coldly. “Stop running from it like a coward. We formed this group because we dreamt of becoming stars, and you’re taking away our chances with your stupid actions.”

The next thing happened so fast I didn’t have time to react. Baro drew his fist back and made to punch Shin Woo’s face in, but Shin Woo diverted the attack, gripping his forearm and slamming him into the wall.

“Hyung!” The rest of us were rushing up, trying to separate the two of them. Baro was back on his feet in a moment, trying to hit back at Shin Woo, and Jin Young and I were trying to restrain him.

“Stop it!” I was almost crying, I’d never been so scared in my life. “Sun Woo stop!”

Baro managed to push past Jin Young, and let his fist fly. There was a sickening crunch, and for a moment I thought that he’d really hit Shin Woo.

It was worse.

Gong Chan gasped, reeling back against the dining table, clutching the side of his face with one hand. Tears were running down his cheeks, mixed with blood. I felt so terrible seeing this.

For a split second, I thought I saw the old Sun Woo flicker in Baro’s eyes. He looked concerned, worried, guilty, when he stared in shock at what he had done.

But what Jin Young did next made that vanish.

“GET OUT!” Jin Young was shouting in anger, for the first time in all the years I’d known him. The look in his eye was murderous. “GET OUT, SUN WOO!”

Baro looked momentarily stunned, but recovered quickly, glaring at Jin Young.

“With pleasure,” he hissed, storming out the door and slamming it shut.

For a few moments, I could only hear the sound of Gong Chan’s whimpers, Jin Young and Shin Woo’s assurances, as I stared blankly at the shut door. He was gone.

“Jung Hwan,” Shin Woo’s steady, firm voice brought me back to my senses. “Get the medicine kit from the bathroom.”

I nodded numbly, willing my feet to move one after another to the bathroom. I just wanted to scream and scream and scream to get my feelings out.

My fingers trembled as I pried open the cabinet and got the first-aid box out. Jin Young had brought Gong Chan to wash the wound at the kitchen sink, so I put it down on the dining table. I must have looked as dead as I felt, because Shin Woo noticed it. Being the eldest hyung, I think he knew a lot more than he let on.

“It’s not your fault Baro left, and there was nothing we could have done to change it,” his tone was firm.

I gave a half-mutter, half-grunt in response. I could have grabbed him and made him stay.

“Get some rest,” he nodded to our rooms, before taking the first-aid kit into the kitchen.

Shin Woo was right. I just needed to lie down and think about it, right? However, instead of going to my room, my feet took me to the room the other four members shared.

I’m crazy, was the only thought running through my mind as I stared at the top bunk nearest the door.

Not bothering to listen to myself anymore, I climbed up the bunk, delving into the cold, dark blue sheets. It had been so long since he’d slept here, since he was always disappearing at night. It still smelled like him though- like the scent of rain before it falls, mixed with the musky fragrance of his shampoo. I curled up into a tight ball, just wishing he was here with me, to hold me until I didn’t feel so broken anymore.   

However, as I slipped my hand under his pillow, I felt something hard underneath. Frowning, I closed my fingers on it, only to pull out the notebook he’d been writing in before we came in.

Was this his...diary?

I remember giving the book to him a year ago for his birthday. Back when he was...himself.

Would it hold the reason why he changed?

Hesitantly, I flipped open the book, and began to read.

Author's Note:

Yay first chapter :3 I wonder why all my fics have violence...this says something. I'm not too sure what though.

Hope y'all enjoyed it! Subscriptions and comments are appreciated. Thank you ^^

Sincerely
WhiteWings19