01. Long time no see

Jinhwan let out a resigned sigh: he had just realized that it was nearly eleven o'clock in the evening and his husband hadn't yet returned home.

He was seated before the table set with dinner he had prepared, but now the food was cold and the candles were completely consumed.

Suddenly he heard the door's metallic click, Hanbin's high-pitched voice calling his name and his footsteps rumbling in the hallway.

Hanbin stopped when he saw him, freezing himself completely. Jinhwan noticed that he had a bunch of red roses, a box of chocolates and a gift wrapped with gold paper embellished with abstract designs.

"Welcome home" Jinhwan said trying to smile, but that smile seemed very forced and unnatural.

"I'm sorry for the late" Hanbin apologized, "happy anniversary" he said in a whisper, as he did his best to arrange the flowers in the vase that stood in the center of the table.

"Happy anniversary to you, too" Jinhwan murmured, his gaze was focused – maybe almost lost – on the immense, gigantic window that looked out on the balcony.

"This is for you" his husband said passing the gift as he bent over him and left a light kiss on the cheek.

"We had decided not to get gifts to each other" Jinhwan pointed out, then he unwrapped it and found it was a rolex made of solid gold.

"...do you like it?" Hanbin asked but the tone of his voice betrayed his growing nervousness.

"It's beautiful" Jinhwan admitted looking at his new watch, but he didn't seem to be very convinced.

"...but?" Hanbin urged him to continue, "but what? I thought you might like it" he let out a whine of frustration.

"But it wasn't necessary" Jinhwan concluded putting an end to the conversation because he didn't want to argue with him, "you could buy something less expensive, Hanbin, and I would appreciate it the same".

"What's wrong?" Hanbin sounded almost desperate in that moment.

"Do you really want to know what's wrong?" Jinhwan's eyes suddenly became serious, hard as if they were made of stone.

"You're never here! I'm tired of being alone, eat alone, sleep alone..." the words flow seemed unstoppable, "it's a month that you don't even touch me, I miss you so much" his voice was softened, as well as his eyes.

Jinhwan reached out to him and his face.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm terribly sorry" Hanbin said in a low murmur - almost imperceptible – then he walked away.

"You're so different" Jinhwan said with a broken heart, reduced to smithereens, "there's something different about you, even if I don't know what it is".

"I'm working a lot. The workload has increased since the last promotion I received, they have high expectations on me and I don't want to be a disappointment. This job is important for me, and it allows us to have it all!" Hanbin tried to explain, "because everything we have has a price, it's not for free" he said referring to the luxury and wealth in which they lived, and his gaze was obscured by a veil becoming gloomy.

Jinhwan was quiet, determined to remain silent. He went into the bedroom leaving only Hanbin in the living room, which reached him shortly after.

"So do you want me to sleep on the couch?" Hanbin asked beginning to losen his tie.

Jinhwan approached him and helped him. After having untie the knot, he started to his white shirt and he touched his bare chest with the fingertips, so lovingly and gently but always so cautious as if he was afraid of what could have been Hanbin's reaction.

Indeed the other drew back, moving away quickly.

"Are you cheating on me?" that was the only question Jinhwan asked him, deeply hurt by his behavior because all he wanted was to make love to his husband, the only man he loved.

Hanbin felt tears be incipient, his eyes were moist and he had to turn around because he didn't want to cry in front of him.

"How could I ever cheat on you if I love you like crazy?" Hanbin asked, about to lose all his self control - which wasn't that much.

"You're not giving me any choice" the oldest said, "it's a month that we don't..." he tried to say it but he couldn't go on.

Hanbin left the room in a hurry, buttoned his shirt, put on his jacket and took his cellular: he was ready to leave the house.

"Where are you going?" Jinhwan asked as he tried to stop him.

"I'm leaving!" Hanbin exclaimed almost shouting in his face.

"Are you going to him?" Jinhwan was now facing him.

"Move!" Hanbin blurted, unable to control the anger that was mounting from the inside.

"Answer me!" Jinhwan shouted back, "are you going to him?".

"Who?" Hanbin yelled against him, "who are you talking about?".

"Whoever your lover is" Jinhwan replied in a whisper, not knowing that in reality Hanbin's heart was completely his - it always had been, it was and it would be until the end.

"Get out of my way" Hanbin growled between his teeth, his fists clenched.

"Otherwise?" Jinhwan asked firmly, "are you going to hit me?" he regretted it soon after.

Hanbin was shocked: "What did you say? I could never hurt you, especially not on purpose".
"Please, just move. I want to get out of here" he added, and Jinhwan stepped aside.

Jinhwan didn't try to stop him in any way – at least not this time – so Hanbin was gone and he was alone.

He began to cry, s