“Hey, Do you want to hang out this afternoon?”

 

I texted him while sitting at my chair in the middle of break time. After about 5 minutes he replied briefly.

 

“Sure, where?”

 

Somehow I felt that kind of excitement from his reply, and I texted him back.

 

“My apartment, where else?”

 

That was a little bit unfriendly but I don’t care, he wouldn’t take it seriously though he also didn’t care.

 

“Ok, see you”

 

He replied and I put my cellphone in my bag.

 

It had been a month since we do this weird kind of relationship. His name is Kim Taehyung, we didn’t really see each other at school even though we did enter a biology class together but still we didn’t really talk that much. We were going to talk if we had something necessary, it was just like “Hey can I borrow your pencil?” or something similar to that. We exchange glance if we met at the corridor or the cafeteria but we didn’t say Hi. Maybe if we didn’t have this kind of relationship we will be just like an ordinary classmates, but now things were different.

 

It started when one day I was crying at the schools’ music studio, that was the day when someone I love told me that he likes another person so we couldn’t be together anymore. His name is Suho, we were so close even though we were not a lover, yet. I love him and he surely know it but he never said that he love me too. Then I waited, hoping that if I always be there for him maybe he could love me back. But I was wrong, that day he told me that we couldn’t be together anymore because he found someone else. I was shock that he said she was Hyeri thinking that she just broke up with Taehyung about a week ago then now she already had a new one. That day I was crying alone at the studio but someone suddenly barged in and I just realized that I forgot to lock the door. It was an awkward moment as I saw Taehyung was also surprised to see me there crying. Then I just left him and walked out the studio.

 

But he didn’t stop there, the next time we met at school he was always looking at me as if he wanted to know what I was doing that day at the studio, I was crying he surely know that  but his eyes looked like he was so curious about that.

 

Then one day he somehow asked me if he could be my company, I was surely confused and startled at him. Then I asked why, but he just answered as if it would be such a friend with benefits. I knew it right away that he thought it would be fair if Suho dated Hyeri then I should also go out with him. I was shock to hear that and I scolded him as if he thought I was cheap, that I was so frustrated Suho left me and I need someone impingement. But he was so calm instead, and he told me if I agree with that I could see him after school at the minimart near my apartment.

 

And surprisingly, I came to the minimart and there I saw him eating a cup of noodle. That when all these things started. We texted a lot at school even at the middle of the class, I would call him when I had a nightmare about Suho, we talked on the phone for hours just like a lovers. Then it escalated a little when we started to hang out at the nearest food court or minimart, because if we come to the theater or coffee shop we were afraid that we could meet our classmates and the entire school will know that we had that kind of relationship.

 

But I had a commitment that I wanted him to agree, that we’re not going anywhere. We’re not dating and we just take it just like something fair that he intended from the start. I even said some boundaries he had to remember, that it’s okay to have skinships but we can’t kiss or even further from that. Even though I didn’t know why he wanted to do this but I started to enjoy his company even though I know it was wrong and I couldn’t fall for him.

 

“Taehyung..”, I said as we lay down at my bed. I looked at the ceiling and he was beside me playing with his cellphone.

 

“Yeah?”, he said while still focusing at his phone screen. He was so handsome just with a black T shirt and his school uniform pants.

 

“How did you break up with Hyeri?”

 

He finished and locked his phone screen before he looked at me. I didn’t know whether it was something I shouldn’t ask because he was just looking at me and I’m afraid he would be angry because of my question.

 

He put his cellphone on the lamp table and brought one of his hand to be a pillow. He was looking at the ceiling and started to talk.

 

“I don’t want you to think that I’m a jerk but.. yeah I’m a jerk, anyway. So..”

 

I could sense the gloomy aura from him when he started to talk.

 

“I was the one that asked her for breakup.. because I think that we’re just not meant to be together anymore, I mean things were not going the same from when we started dating..”

 

“And then..? What did she say?”, I asked curious.

 

He was thinking for a moment before he speak again. “And then she cried, she told me that we should work it out, we shouldn’t breakup. But I said no..”

 

His gaze was straight to my eyes after he finished the last word from his story. I looked into his eyes, feeling the gloom that he didn’t intended to deliver, but that was just the same like Suho did to me.

 

“I’m a jerk, am not I?”, he asked as if he knew I would agree about that remembering that I always told him that Suho is a bad person because he just left me like that even logically it will never counted to make him a bad person. Who am I, though?

 

“Yeah you are..”, I said to him as he kept looking at me with those beautiful eyes he had.

 

I turned my body to the side so that my back was facing him as I remember that my purpose to invite him was to get a company for a good nap.

 

I could feel he moved nearer to me and he put his hand on my waist. I could feel his warm conducting with my back, his breath tickling my neck as he spoke again before I slumber.

 

“Yeah I’m a jerk, but we should sleep right now..”

 

I chuckled to hear his words. “Is that even relate?”

 

“No..”

 

I smiled and slapped his hand on my waist, but soon he tightened his embrace and I couldn’t feel more secure with that. He’s just a nice person, I’m always thankful that he was there whenever I need someone, but still we should hold that commitment firmly.

It was the time for biology class, means that I could see Taehyung there and somehow I felt happy for no reason. We can’t talk freely like if we’re outside from school though.

 

I came in the class with my friend, Eunmi, and we met Hwayoung there when we entered the class. But there was only one empty chair next to Hwayoung so one of us should take another one. I told Eunmi to sit there while I was looking at the other empty chair and I found one at the back.

 

I opened my book when the teacher came in and I looked at the empty seat next to me. I guessed I have to seat alone for the next one and a half hour.

 

But that thought was gone when suddenly someone barged in the class, a little bit lucky that the teacher haven’t start the class yet. He was Taehyung.

 

He was little bit panting and his eyes was searching for an empty seat around the class. That was when our eyes met and I looked away immediately.

 

I focused on my book even though I didn’t really read it when Taehyung pulled the chair next to me and sit there. He put his book and one pen on the table and he leaned back to the chair.

 

I looked at him who was still panting, I guessed he ran to this class because he almost late earlier. He loosened his tie and his uniform looked a little bit messy, then suddenly he caught me staring.

 

Taehyung smiled to me, and I chuckled to see him like that.

 

The teacher started the class and I tried to focus on studying. At least that what I intended to do but I just couldn’t ignore Taehyung’s presence next to me.

 

Suddenly he held my hand and started playing with my fingers. I glared at him but he just replied with a smirk. I pulled my hand but he held it again, and for the second time I pulled my hand and put it on the table.

 

He didn’t stop there and kept disturbing me when he took my note on the table and wrote something on it. He moved it nearer to me and I read it.

 

Sorry :3

 

I couldn’t help a smile to read that emote icon he added but I didn’t reply and back to focus on my teacher’s writing on the white board.

 

He took my note once again and began to write something a little bit longer this time. Then he moved it nearer to me.

 

A cup of ramen tonight with me?

 

A smile formed once again on my face and I made an “ok” sign with my fingers while still looking at the front. He got the sign and suddenly wrote down a page full of writing.

 

YEAY!!

 

“Hey!”, I whisper to him with a high pitch as I was really angry that he used one page of my note. I took away my note from him while he was giggling at his chair. Silly Taehyung

“Yeay~ Ramen~”, he said cheerfully as he split his chopstick and opened the ramen cup that he had been waiting to be ready.

 

Why does he look like a kid? I thought.

 

We were sitting before the window of a minimart that we usually visited. I got myself a bag of chips and a canned drink even though he insisted that I should eat a cup of ramen too, but I had enough of ramen this whole week.

 

“Be careful it’s hot”, I said to him when I saw the hot steam on his cup. He didn’t budge and put the hot noodle into his mouth right away.

 

“Ouch!!”, he said while he stick out his tongue. His face was so ridiculous but I also feel sorry for him.

 

I opened the mineral water that we bought earlier and give it to him.

 

I saw him gulping his drink in a hurry and I just found him so cute at the time.

 

“Oh my tongue..”, he said as he tried to speak while sticking out his tongue.

 

I still couldn’t really stop laughing as I saw he looked so pissed and kept stirring his noodle and blowing it. Soon he ate the noodle as if he didn’t eat for a whole week, I even thought that he finished it in a one shot.

 

He didn’t talk even a little bit and just concentrated eating his noodle and then I saw something sticking at the corner of his lips. My thumb wiped it and he seemed really surprised he even stopped eating.

 

“What are you doing..?”, he asked and he made me startled.

 

“There’s something on your lips, why?”

 

He touched his lips at the spot where my thumb was touching. I was still confused what to react when he casually back to eat his food.

 

What’s wrong with him?

 

I was about to open my bag of chips when suddenly he circled one hand at my shoulder and gave me a quick peck on my forehead.

 

“Thanks!”, he said cheerfully and at the same time I felt stiff all over my body because I was so surprised and I could feel my heartbeat racing.

 

What was that for? I thought in my mind as I saw him eating like nothing happens. Then he caught me staring at him.

 

“What? That doesn’t count, does it?”, he asked while he was busy sipping the noodle soup.

 

He was right though it wasn’t a kiss on the lips that we agreed at the first time we do this. But my instinct said that it would be dangerous if that kind of thing always happening but somehow I started to feel those butterflies these days when he was just smiling at me, holding my hand and moreover kissing my forehead earlier.

 

I shook that thought immediately, afraid to think about what could happen next time.

 

“Whatever..”, I said as I focused on the street over the window.

 

We spend the dinner time at the minimart while talking about some issue. We talked about school, movies, songs, celebrity, political thing and many more. There’s a lot of things that we usually talked about not just only the story of how I was very disappointed with Suho. It’s always interesting to talk with him plus we only had a chance to talk outside the school so sometimes we didn’t watch the clock and there were times when he would sleep over at my apartment.

 

“Look where you walk, miss”, he said as his hand grabbed my body when I was busy looking at my cellphone. I didn’t walk properly so he embraced me to get nearer to him.

 

I started to feel cold again when he put down his hand and we just walked side by side back to my apartment. I saw him putting his hands on his pocket and he looked straight to the front.

 

“Can we hold hands?”, I asked suddenly and I felt embarrassed to say that. I never asked him something like that before.

 

He looked at me confused but then he smiled. “Why do you have to ask?”, he said as he took out one of his hand and interwined his fingers with mine.

 

The warmth of his hand spreading to my body and I felt the heat that synchronized with the increasing rate of my heartbeat. I really didn’t want him to go. I really cherished that time as I hoped time will go slower so I could spend a little bit longer time with him

 

But suddenly something caught my eyes and I stopped walking and so did Taehyung. I guessed he also see what I see in the front of my eyes.  

 

“Oppa..?”, Hyeri said with a shock expression and I could see Suho next to her was also surprised as her. Their eyes stared at my hands that Taehyung was holding.

 

I immediately pulled my hand but Taehyung grabbed it stronger and stayed still. “Taehyung..?!”, I said in disbelief as I felt his grip on my hand was so firm that I couldn’t get parted of it. I was still startled with the situation and couldn’t think what to say to them but then Taehyung started to talk.

 

“Hi, Hyeri”

“Why did you tell them that we’re together?!”, I said in frustration as I saw him sitting casually at the sofa.

 

When we met Suho and Hyeri earlier, Taehyung was telling them that now we’re dating. I was so shock to hear that but the moment went so fast and now we’re already at my apartment.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be happy for that? It’s a stab for Suho right?”

 

“He didn’t involve in this matter Taehyung! What about Hyeri? Do you even care about her feeling?”

 

“No no you’re not talking about Hyeri it’s none of your business what she’s going to feel”

 

“What..?”

 

“I know you still love Suho so you were afraid that he knew you’re dating me and now you’re angry, Isn’t it?”

 

“What are you talking about?!”

 

Taehyung looked so pissed as he stood from the sofa and facing me. This is the first time I felt this angry to him.

 

“You still love him, just admit it”, he said and he just made me more frustrated.

 

“No! I just-“, I paused for a second to think about what words that wouldn’t  make this thing becomes more complicated.

 

“Why then?! Why if I still love him? It’s none of your business too right?”

 

He looked even more pissed and tired. “You said that I don’t care about Hyer’s feeling? What about you then? You’re also the same, you didn’t care about my feeling”

 

“What? Your feeling? Why should I..? When is it exactly this relationship involve our feeling? Remember Taehyung, you were the one that give an idea about this relationship and I think you should know that at the first place!”, I said with a very heavy breath that I couldn’t control my angriness to him. But I just realized I have said something that I would regret.

 

He was just standing there, startled with those arrogant words that I gave him just some seconds ago. But I knew it’s too late when he started to talk.

 

“Yeah you’re right, don’t bother to care about my feeling”, he said before he grabbed his coat and walked towards the door.

 

“I guess we’re not seeing each other anymore, I’m so tired. Goodnight”, with that words he slammed the door and left me with regrets.

 

That night he left was so hard for me to bear. I fully realized that I made a big mistake. The more I recalled that bitter words to him the more tears came out from my eyes.

 

And it has already been a week since that happen. Taehyung didn't text me at all and so did I. There were times when we met each other at school but he just parted his eyes right away when he saw me. That just hurt me the most.

 

Meanwhile I feel that Hyeri had told some of my classmates that Taehyung and I were dating. I didn't care, I never like her anyway. The most important thing right now is Taehyung.

 

But I still wonder what he mean that I didn't care about his feeling. Why he told Hyeri and Suho that we're dating.

 

This matter became more frustrating as I missed him so bad.

 

I entered my room to just welcomed by the emptiness it had. I remembered the time when I really couldn't sleep because I was crying over Suho and when I called him he gladly came to my apartment just to hold me even at that time I was crying for another guy.

 

Something caught my eyes at the corner of my table, there's black T shirt still folded and tidy.

 

“In case you're crying again”

 

He brought that T shirt one night when he came to see me as he thought it would be uncomfortable if he sleeps over at my apartment and didn't get to change his clothes.

 

I hold his T shirt tightly as I could smell his sense and it just made me missing him even more. I cried again. Wondering when I started to miss him this much. I slowly realize that I was the one who made those boundaries between me and Taehyung but then I just wanted to break it now.

 

This couldn't wait any longer. The clock showed it was 7 pm, I thought Taehyung might be at his apartment. I remembered he gave me the spare key so with that I collected all the brave I had to see him.

 

There I was standing at his apartment door. I was a little bit hesitate if I should get in or not, but my hand was already trying to open the door with the key he gave me long time ago.

 

Click

 

The key really works.

 

I get in his apartment while searching his figure somewhere in there.

 

"Taehyung..?", I called him but there was no answer.

 

I thought I should wait for him so I decided to sit at the sofa. Somehow his sofa felt so comfortable and soon I fell asleep.

 

"_____(Y/N), wake up", I barely heard someone calling my name and I slowly opened my eyes to see Taehyung with only a towel to cover his waist until his knee. His hair was wet and I could smell the soap he just used.

 

I leaned my back to the sofa and still trying to adjust the light.

 

"What are you doing here?", he asked as he looked disturbed by my presence.

 

"I came to see you, what else?", I said as I  was pissed by the way he asked me. As if he just knew me this morning. I didn't want to speak rude to him but I also didn't really like when he talked like that.

 

He seemed to read my expression, that I didn't like him being ignorance. Then he went to his room to change into a proper clothes. A T shirt and a short pants that really suited him.

 

Then again he just went straight to the kitchen ignoring my presence.

 

"Taehyung, I came to talk about something..", I said when I found him at the kitchen, he was preparing 2 mugs and was busy making something. He didn't even looking at me.

 

"First, I'm.. I'm sorry about what I told you that night, I shouldn't have said that to you..", I said as I was holding the tears that emerged at the corner of my eyes. I didn't care if he was really listening or not.

 

"And the second is.. What did you mean that I didn't care about your feeling..?"

 

He stopped pouring hot water when I asked that question. His face just showed that he looked so done with me. This time he finally facing me and speak.

 

"It means that I love you, idiot"

 

That when I was so shock as I heard that three words he said. My mind was busy processing what he told me but it just didn't work.

 

"What..? What did you say..?"

 

He put down the kettle in his hand and threw a heavy breath as he closed his eyes.

 

"I know I broke the deal, okay? I just can't help it, it's true that I didn't have any feelings for you at the first time we make the deal but as the time goes by I started envy Suho that you were always crying over him so I tried to be there for you, I envy him from the way you were looking at him like there's no other person you see. I hate him for making you cry almost every night at those times, and then I hate you.. for telling me that you didn't bother to understand my feeling.."

 

I didn't budge but startled to hear him. He looked so upset and pissed at the same time. I couldn't see him like this and I hate that the fact he was holding a tears as he looked so frustrated. It was the first time I saw him like this and I hate to know that it was because of me.

 

"I love you.. I know you wouldn't accept that, but I couldn't lie to-"

 

I cut his words with a kiss. I could feel he was surprised but I keep my lips on him, pulling him closer and slipped my fingers to his hair.

 

His hands circled around my waist and pulled me even closer so there was no gap between us. And then I just realize that all this time I was holding the same feeling because that stupid deal and the boundaries I have made.

 

I pulled first when I felt a need for air. We were just panting from the long kiss while still holding each other in a tight hug.

 

"I'm sorry I was so stupid, Taehyung.. I love you too", I said as we looked straight at each other eyes.

 

He gave me a light peck on the lips before he spoke.

 

"We should really date then.."

 

I nodded and chuckled to hear that words because it sounded cheesy but straight to the point.

 

Then he pulled me again for a kiss. From that time I know who I really love and I'm glad that he loves me as much as I do. 

 

THE END