It’s 4AM in the morning and Youngjae is not sleeping yet. He keeps on checking his phone if there’s actually someone who left him a message but nope. Nothing. He felt somehow anxious and burdened because he can’t see any colors lately. It makes him got insomnia and his migraine is just getting worse. He can’t seem to focus on his work and just follow the schedule as he told to. It was because of his tiredness at first, but everyone is also tired so did that count as an excuse?

Youngjae just needs to be on somone’s arms for a while to catch his color back but noone seem to do that. He remembered that whatever color he is seeing in the past, Jaebum would open his arms to hug him. Whenever, wherever. Even when only an ant wildly running on his pure skin, makes him seeing red, Jaebum would be the first one to come up to him to check if everything is okay but not this time. Jaebum also told Youngjae many times to laugh a lot around him and can only act clingy and whiny and needy to only him because Jaebum said he really likes it when Youngjae does that and feel jealous when Youngjae does it to another person. Jaebum also is indeed leader of the group, so Youngjae listened to his leader words very well. And Youngjae somehow felt special with the order. Instead, Youngjae likes that changing color on Jaebum’s face whenever he comes closer to him. Hyung’s face become pink. That is the color Youngjae loves the most from time to time. And so exactly when Youngjae didn’t get too noisy as always, Jaebum would notice something must go wrong with Youngjae in a blink of an eye and will make sure to cheer up Youngjae. Color him. But not this time, Youngjae told himself again, why not this time?

Jaebum is actually a non-skinship person but he has that exact soft spot for skinship from Youngjae. And Youngjae is just as happy as a little koala clinging onto Jaebum’s arms. They shared the same blanket for several years before decided that their room is too hot to handle two people and go separate ways. In that moment, they even shared the same color. Love.

Youngjae didn’t really remember when this all started but it’s really hard to get close to Jaebum these days. Whenever he comes by his side, Jaebum will move away. At first, it was just okay for Youngjae because why not, Jaebum has to take care six of s equally. He has to share the same amount of affection in front of the camera. And Youngjae is getting much closer to Mark lately since they raised Choco together. That was why Youngjae didn’t feel bothered about it but things just worse. The distance becomes larger and harder to reach. Jaebum didn’t even want to talk to him again or see him face to face. Whenever Youngjae tried to start a conversation about their relationship only to get cut off by Jaebum, saying he’s too tired and walk passed him.

Everyone is tired for god sake, he tries to think as positive as he can but he just can’t. Jaebum never said anything, indeed. He acted like everything is okay. Is he dumb? He needs time to be with himself, he said? Is Jaebum hyung pushing me away? Unloving me? Found someone else that can make him happier than me? Why hyung suddenly lost interest in me? What did I do wrong? Did I eat too much lately? Or, did I laugh too many much? Why in the world he didn’t wanna talk about it or at least pretend that he is bothered with it? Is the color finally started to fade?

Youngjae ranted slow and turned his back to only meet with Jinyoung’s face who is sleeping peacefully next to him. Jinyoung is indeed a mother-figure of the group. Only by looking at his sleeping face, Youngjae found a little piece of warmth, in which he really needed of now – from Jaebum. Jaebum’s warmth felt different and he likes it. He then let out another deep sigh again, suddenly tired from over-thinking of anything and surrender to sleep, something is wrong with Jaebum hyung. Youngjae got enough of this bulls already and said to himself he would just ask Jaebum what is actually happening to him in the morning. Jaebum hyung still loves me, right? He moves himself closer to Jinyoung to keep his body warm but his head couldn’t stop questioning things until his eyes felt heavy and he closed his eyes to see black.