As you guys could see the setting has been changed to London, so from now on all the characters will be talking in English except the few one that I had highlighted like this, then it means their talking in Korean.

5 years later

London, England

Mon, 3 September 2018

A tall red hair man walked inside of a cafe. He wore black colored long sleeves shirt despite the quite warm weather and he had earphones plugged in on both of his ear. He stopped just a few steps from the door to scan the room and just then a man waved to him from the corner of the coffee house beside a quite large window. The red hair’s facial expression didn’t change as he walked closer to the other man. The other man has a slightly smaller built with black hair and a quite dark skin color.

“Leo, why are you so late?”

The black hair man whined as soon as the red hair man, Leo, sat down on a chair in front of him. Leo just stared at the other before he turned to call a waiter.

“No need Leo-ah, I’ve made your order. Latte, right?”

“What do you want Hakyeon?”

Leo asked as his expression changed only a little to show annoyance.

“It’s N.”

N or as we knew better as Hakyeon, said with a serious face. At this, Leo only gave him a blank look.

“I’ve adjusted for this few years to call you Leo from Taekwoon, why couldn’t you do the same to my name too? My name is N.”

“It’s stupid.”

“No, it’s cool. Everyone said so.”

Leo sighed and fortunately the waiter came and gave them their order. Leo took a sip of his latte as he waited for N to speak up his mind.

“So, Leo-ah, I’ve been thinking and I knew you’re very famous in your field but…I think you lacked of recognition.”

N stated nervously as he took another sip of his own drink to delay some time.

After the accident, Leo halted his education at his current university and decided to continue it at a university in London. Although he didn’t state his reason clearly, but everyone understood that it was Leo’s way to leave his past behind so nobody objected his decision. N of course as his best friend couldn’t leave him to go alone so he tagged along to London. Actually, he was afraid that Leo would try to cut off all his connection to the past and that meant he will be included too. After the accident, Leo had never been the same again. He didn’t laugh at any smile at any jokes that N tried to make nor did he responded to most of the conversation. There was barely any expression showed in neither his face nor his action. At some times, it was almost difficult to know what he was thinking if not because they had known each other for so long. At least he still stayed with N although he didn’t show he cared. For most people that just knew Leo, he seemed too cold and not many people could cope with his expressionless face. There were many who got scared at him for their first impression.

Also, the moment they landed on London, Taekwoon immediately changed his name to Leo. At first N thought that Leo was only an English name the other would use to introduce himself to new person but since then he refuse to respond when N called him Taekwoon. It was like Taekwoon has dead with Jaehwan on that accident. N suspected that Leo had even kept on living only because of Jaehwan’s last wish for him. It was difficult at first and awkward to call the man he knew since little with new name but N tried to understand it from Leo’s point of view. N, himself, had never experienced losing a person so close to him like that so he didn’t want to judge Leo harshly.

Leo continued taking design major while N took dance major. After graduation, Leo immediately started working on a small clothing company and N became dance instructor at a studio. For a few years, Leo’s design had been loved by many and his career immediately rose up immediately. Now Leo had his own studio and he often received personal request for clothes. Because of the hectic schedule, he decided to stop working on a company and focused on his own studio. Meanwhile N himself was also having a big step on his career as he got chosen a few times to dance at a famous artist concert. Beside he had started to arrange his own choreography. N had wished to open his own dance studio but he decided to delay his wish. Right now, he was satisfied to work on the dance studio that he was already familiar with and being Leo’s unofficial manager. Yeah, Leo sometimes forgot to eat if he was already focused on his work and it had become N’s duty to make him having at least 3 meals a day. Besides every request that was sent to Leo would be delivered to N first. All of Leo’s times in his career, he had neither showed his face in public nor did he write his own name. His worked has always been known with the initial “L” and nobody knew his real name. The entire interview request was always rejected as soon as they arrived. Unknowingly, even though Leo never showed his face to public, he got a number of fans because of his mysterious being. He even got a love letter once in a while sent in with a request.

And N was determined to change that. He braced himself for the next sentence he would say.

“I accepted a magazine interview for you this weekend.”

At this Leo’s attention was back on N, but his expression hadn’t changed much. It was like he had expected that N would do something like this.

“It would do well for you, Leo-ah, to have a little promotion.”

“No”

Leo said before he returned his attention to the window, seeming uninterested at the conversation anymore.

“But Leo-ah, you’ve been working anonymously all this time. What’s the point for working hard if they don’t even know what kind of person you are?”

“Beside the production crew promised me to only take interview. They would not take any pictures during the interview. You could even not tell your name and just go as L”

“Come on Leo-ah.”

Still getting no response from Leo, N was starting to get agitated. Leo was already difficult to persuade even before the accident but now it was like trying to move a mountain.

“Yah, Leo-ah, pay attention to your hyung when he’s speaking.”

This time Leo finally turned at him again with an annoying look. Leo didn’t like to regard N to be older than him, even though it was only a few months. N smirked, satisfied that he finally got Leo’s attention again.

“So what do you think Leo?”

“No”

“Come on Leo”

“…”

“It will be fun”

“…”

“Please?”

“No”

“Fine then, don’t. At least I’ve tried my best for you.”

N then proceeded to act annoyed at Leo. He folded his arms and looked outside the window, refusing to look at Leo. Leo gave him a look before he himself also gaze outside the window. Leo seemed lost in his own thought for a while and finally he sighed and said his decision before he regretted it.

“I’ll think about it”

N smiled as he was satisfied at Leo’s final answer. It will be easier to persuade the other after he had said it himself. Leo took another sip of his latte and he gazed out looking uninterested again.

Tue, 4 September 2018

The next day, N came back to the café and this time he was greeted by a man with brown hair and very deep dimples.

“N hyung, you’ve come. Where’s Leo hyung?”

“He’s not here binnie-ah. Leo had a few things running at his boutique right now so he can’t come out. He ordered the usual.”

“Ah, Latte right? What are you getting hyung?”

“I’ll pass bin-ah. Too much coffee is not good, you know.”

“You should tell that to Leo hyung.”

“Like he’ll listen to me. Hongbin, you know he was like ignoring me most than half of the time I spoke.”

N rested his head on the counter while Hongbin went to make the Latte. Hongbin just chuckled as N continued to rant about how Leo ignored him. Sometimes he wondered how could both of them be friends judging by their very different personalities.

Hongbin was a Korean too but he was currently studying in London and he took a part time job in a café. He knew about N and Leo because they had come too frequently, well only Leo seemed interested on the coffee. N looked like he only went there to bother the life out from Leo and rarely took the coffee. Honestly at first Hongbin felt a little intimidated by Leo’s blank face but as time passed he learnt that that was the elder’s usual expression. But N had once mentioned that Leo wasn’t used to be like that and he didn’t dare to ask why. He was sure that it’s something private and he wasn’t going to pry into that. At least Leo had become a little close with him along this time.

“Here’s the latte, hyung” Hongbin handed the older man his order while N took out his wallet and gave Hongbin his card. Hongbin took the card with a raised brow.

“He made me promise to buy him for this week, all because I tried to convince him to accept that interview. Honestly, it was a good thing for him but he made it looked like it’s a waste of time or something like that. And who repays their friends by forcing him to buy coffee for a week. I’ll be broke soon if it continues like this,” N kept on ranting while Hongbin chuckled and return his card.

“You’re a good friend hyung.”

Leo sat on his work room, holding a pencil in one of his hand while he tried to focus on his sketch. It didn’t work though and he could feel himself spacing out every other minute so he decided to halt his work for a while. He let out a big sigh and pushed himself up from his chair and walked in front of the window. His studio was located just upstairs from his boutique. The window in his studio wasn’t a see through one, so he could stand there without afraid being saw. His eyes wandered on the people and cars passing on the street below. He knew he wouldn’t get any work done today and he knew the reason too well, even without looking at the date in the calendar located on his desk. That calendar helped him to work through his deadline but right now that thing was a painful remembers. It told him that a few days later was the day when Jaehwan as well as part of himself died.

He rested his head on the cool glass and closed his eyes for a moment, allowing himself to be lost in memory. After the funeral everything was a blurred for Taekwoon. He wasn’t sure what he felt, he just felt numb and cold. Everything, every place, every person only reminded him of Jaehwan. When he opened his eyes or opened them all he could see was Jaehwan. There’s no single night where he could sleep in peace without having a nightmare about that accident. Even with Hakyeon beside him didn’t ease all those pains. And at time he could only think of fleeing from everything, ran as far away as he could possibly do. He knew it was coward but he didn’t think he could continue living in his memories so he decided to move here. He was felt guilty because Hakyeon decided to follow him here too. It meant his friend has to leave everything precious for him behind too. But Hakyeon never complaint, he just threaten that Taekwoon wouldn’t be going out from the country without him. He felt grateful for having Hakyeon in his life.

After coming here, he left everything about him in the past, as well as the old Taekwoon. Changing his name too made him felt like he was another new person. But every year there was only once when the old Taekwoon inside him burst out and it was in days like this. Leo opened his eyes and realized that the sun has set and only a glimpse of its light shined inside the room. He turned his back to the window and slide down to sit. Three days more until Jaehwan’s 5th year death anniversary and those five years he hadn’t go home once. He knew it hurt his family but they still manage to support him.

“We’ll always wait for you. Just take your time and remember we’re always here for you,” his mother had said to him through the New Year phone call last year. He wasn’t sure how long it will come for that to happen.

A sudden knock on the door brought him back from his thought. Leo looked at the door and saw Hakyeon’s head peeking from the door taking in the state of his room. Just then he realized that night had come and his room was dark except of a little light from the street. Hakyeon made his way inside and closed the door slowly before taking a position beside him. Both of them sat together in a comfortable silence.

“Let’s go home okay? I’m starving” Hakyeon aka N said after a while. Leo let himself be pulled up by his friend and together they made their way out from his studio.

The boutique was still opened as it was only 7 p.m. and they usually closed at 9 p.m. The boutique was run by a few of their trusted new friends. There was Max in the cashier; he was younger than Leo and N by one year and they knew each other since university so when Leo opened his boutique, Max was ecstatic to help him, after all the younger man was majoring in Accounting. Then there was a few staffs around that helped the customers; Victoria, Melody, Jason, and Denise. Victoria was the eldest staff and she has been sticking to the boutique since its opening. She was older than Leo by few years and also acted as the manager of the boutique. Leo trusted all the work inside the boutique to be organized by Victoria. Melody was N’s friend in university and also majoring in dance. She worked in Leo’s boutique from opening till around 2 p.m. then she worked at dance studio till night, and it was the same studio with N. Jason was Hongbin’s friend and he has just worked for one year. Hongbin asked Leo to help his friend to find a job as the man had a hard time finding a job and they decided to let him help around the boutique. Denise was the only staff that worked part time in the boutique and she was the youngest as she was still in university. She only worked a few days a week when she had the schedule and her shift only lasted for 5 hours each time. Denise was one of the few Korean that they met in here and she was a sweet girl so they decided to help her. N was especially close to her and they acted as real brother and sister.

Leo and N went out from the back door so that none of the customers saw them. They walked back together to their apartment and no, both of them didn’t share one room but their rooms were just next to each other. When they first came out from university they did share one room but after a while they decided to live on their own. For those past few years, N had had several boyfriends and Leo didn’t want to disturb them and made N didn’t want to make him uncomfortable with his boyfriends so they mutually agree on this arrangement. After all, there weren’t many changes at all as N practically had most of his meals in Leo’s apartment and had his own spare keys.

They arrived at Leo’s apartment and as Leo walked in, N followed behind him. Leo took off his coat and walked to the kitchen to prepared dinner while N took his coat and hang it. N helped him cleaned his apartment while waiting for the dinner. They had another arrangement where N would help Leo with anything as long as he stayed out from Leo’s kitchen while he cooked. N’s first attempt to help Leo cooked had been a disaster and since then he wouldn’t let the other man anywhere near kitchen anymore.

“Leo-ah, have you thought about the interview?” N asked as both of them had already seated and eating their dinner.

“I haven’t,” Leo answered after a while. N heaved out a sigh at his reply.

“Seriously though Leo, it’s annoying how much I bothered you and you managed to ignore everything I said. You’ll go to this, alright?” N unconsciously pointed his spoon accusingly at Leo and glared at him.

“Fine.” Leo said after a while. N widened his eyes in disbelief at how fast Leo actually agreed with him.

The café’s bell rang, indicating that a customer came. Hongbin lifted his head from the cashier and smiled when he saw Leo walked toward the counter.

“The usual, hyung?”

Leo nodded and Hongbin immediately went to make the elder’s order.

“You’re not staying today, hyung?”

“No, the interview is today.”

“Ahh, I see hyung. Here’s your Latte hyung. Hyung, you looked like you didn’t have any sleep,” Hongbin said in worry while he handed Leo his coffee.

“I couldn’t sleep last night,” Leo whispered in a small voice and he looked very uncomfortable to be talking about it so Hongbin decided to let it go.

After paying and saying goodbye to Hongbin, Leo grabbed his coffee and walked toward the door. After taking a sip of the drink, Leo felt like he was alive again. Hongbin hadn’t missed his dark bags and it was only natural he had them as he couldn’t get any sleep yesterday. He tried to busy himself to death yesterday but it still didn’t help him to sleep. The nightmare still came to him every time he closed his eyes and in the end he gave up on sleep. Instead he sat beside the window and gazed outside for the whole night. N had came to check on him and wanted to accompany him but he refused them. N had to teach a morning class today and he felt guilty to make the other stay up the night with him. N finally decided to leave him alone after he insisted with the promise to wake him immediately if he needs the other.

It has been five year but why Jaehwan’s death did still affected him so much? Will it even go away someday? He wasn’t sure anymore now.

It was a beautiful morning; Taekwoon and Jaehwan were walking to school together.

“Hyung, I love you.”

“I knew Jaehwan-ah.”

“You’ll never get tired of me right hyung? Because I think I’ll keep on loving you for a long time. Until then you had to bear being with me hyung.” Jaehwan smiled and linked their hands together.

Leo was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice when another person opened the café’s door. The next thing he knew, he and the other person collided and his coffee spilled all over the person’s shirt. Leo widen his eyes in shocked and he looked up to see a man, slightly taller than him with silver (he double checked to make sure the color) hair that was styled up and a small silver earrings on his right ear. The man’s shirt was ed on the top two, revealing a little of the words inked over his collarbone and his sleeves was rolled up till his elbow. The biggest problem though was that the man’s navy shirt was now covered in Leo’s coffee and he was a little relief when he remembered it was ice instead of hot coffee.

“S-sorry. I’m really sorry,” Leo was dead embarrassed and he kept on bowing his head in apologies.

“Hey, I’m alright. It was only a shirt. After all, I’m guilty in here too since I didn’t notice you were walking out,” the man had a low voice and he didn’t sound angry but Leo still bowed his head in shame.

“It’s alright. I’m sorry for your coffee though.”

 Leo lifted his head and shook his head immediately, “No, it’s alright.”

He met the man’s eyes and the man was smiling a little but Leo didn’t know what to do with it.

“Umm…I own a boutique just near here. I’ll repay back your shirt, it’s all ruin now and you couldn’t just wear them again because their wet and,” Leo hadn’t realized he was speaking in a hurry and he was making nonsense until he heard the other man chuckled at him.

“Sure, just lead the way.”

Leo blinked a few times as if he was on trance before he turned toward the direction of his boutique. Finally remembering something, he took off his jacket and gave it to the man. The man looked at him and raised his eyebrows in question before he accepted Leo’s jacket and wore it on himself. Luckily it was still the beginning of autumn so the temperature hadn’t dropped so much. Leo walked nervously and he could felt the man walked beside him.

“I’m Ravi. I haven’t known your name though.”

“It’s Leo”

When they arrived in front of his boutique, Leo shuffled nervously in front of the glass door.

“So, you’re the infamous L?” Ravi said, his tone sounding amused.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Leo looked at the other desperately. Ravi looked at him for a while before he nodded in understanding.

They walked through the door together and were greeted by Denise.

“Welcome sir, how could I help you?”

“Help me find a shirt like this one?” Leo said, not sure at himself while he pointed at Ravi’s shirt.

“Oppa, what happened? Why are you in the boutique and who’s this guy?” Denise asked in Korean and she looked curious.

“It’s a long story,” Leo answered back in Korean and he could feel Ravi’s curious gaze on him. It made him felt a little uncomfortable.

Denise led Ravi toward another part of the boutique and showed him a few shirts that looked similar to his own. Leo let out a sigh that he hadn’t know he’s been keeping and cursed himself mentally. What had he done? This day already felt bad for him and he still hasn’t had the interview. He let himself sit in one of the waiting seats and looked around the boutique. Fortunately, none of his other staffs noticed him as they were busy with their own work. A while later, Ravi walked back with Denise and Leo had to hold his breath in awe, Ravi came back already changed in the new shirt and this new one fit his body more than his previous one. Even the color he had chosen this time suit him better, a darker blue. Another customer came in and Denise immediately went to tend for the new customer while Ravi checked himself for last time on the mirror. Leo got up on his feet and waited for the other man to finish adjusting his collar and sleeves.

“The shirt was nice.”

“Yeah, Denise had good eyes for fashion.”

“No, I mean the shirt as in the one who designed them.”

Leo blinked in shocked at the statement and found himself with no reply at the compliment. Ravi on the other hand didn’t look affected at the statement that he had just said.

“I’ll pay for them.”

“No, I owe you.”

“You didn’t destroy my shirt Leo. It was only stained a little. It could be washed you know.”

“But…”

“It’s alright. Just helped me get them washed, I’ve already gave my shirt to your staff Denise just now. I’ll come back to take them some days later.”

Leo still wasn’t convinced but the look on Ravi’s face said there was no more room for argument so he reluctantly let the matter go.

“Okay.”

“Great.”

And then Ravi walked toward the cashier while Leo was still rooted to his spot. He had just met the man but why did the other man’s presence intrigued him so much? It was strange enough and Leo just wished everything end quicker so he could leave the man and be alone. Before he knew it, Ravi had walked back to him.

“Thank you. I’ll drop by few days later.”

Leo only nodded and then he watched as Ravi turned toward the door.

“Oh yeah, don’t walk with your thought full. We don’t want something like this happen again, didn’t we?” Ravi said with a small smirk before he disappeared behind the door.

Leo only rolled his eyes in annoyance and ignored the other man. Luckily his embarrassment had died down so N didn’t saw his pink cheeks. N wouldn’t let it go away if he had seen them.

“The guy from the magazine said he’ll come soon around this time. Why don’t you wait in your studio first Leo? I told him he could go upstairs if he had arrived. I have something to discuss with Victoria. I’ll go up after I finish.”

Leo didn’t wait to hear N finished his ranting; instead he went up on his own. After going inside, Leo finally felt some peace. That morning’s event was still bugging his mind and he could still feel Ravi’s piercing gaze on him. The feeling was familiar though but he couldn’t remember when or where he had felt that.

A knock on the door startled him a bit and a man’s voice talk from the other side of the door.

“This is from ‘The Star’ magazine. Can I come in?”

That voice was too familiar and Leo felt himself held his breath as he tried to calm his beating heart.

“Came in.”

When the man came in, Leo felt all the life being drained from his body. Standing in the door was a young man, probably younger than him by a few years with a fair skin. The man had a pair of big eyes and high nose with short brown curly hair. The man looked at him with those big expectant eyes and it felt like his heart was being torn opened again. Leo stay seated and he didn’t avert his gaze from that man. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t because the man in front of him was so unreal, like he would vanish if Leo even moved his gaze somewhere for a second. And then the man spoke with a voice that felt like a knife to Leo’s heart.

“Hi, I’m Ken. I’m from ‘The Star’ magazine. You agreed to have an interview with us right, L? Wow, it’s an honor for our magazine because you agreed to have your first interview with us and we heard from N that you don’t want any picture taken right? Don’t worry, we won’t do anything that will make you uncomfortable and…”

The man, Ken, kept on ranting but his words only sounded like a blurred background voice to Leo and the only thing he knew was that he couldn’t stay here any longer. So without looking back at the other man, Leo paced out from the door and down the stairs. He could barely hear N’s voice calling for him but he ignored them and run out from the boutique.

Now that he was alone and could breath, Leo felt like he would cry. Heck even his eyes was already watery. There was only one thing in his head, Jaehwan. But he knew Jaehwan was already dead, he attended the funeral and even his family and Jaehwan’s wouldn’t lie to him, especially Hakyeon who saw himself Jaehwan’s death. They wouldn’t lie to him about Jaehwan’s death so why did he saw someone who looked like Jaehwan had came back to life again. Even his voice sounded so much like Jaehwan’s.

He felt suffocated, like he couldn’t breathe as he remembered those eyes. They reminded him of how Jaehwan usually look at him, when they were gazing at each other, when they kissed, when Jaehwan said he loved him, and the excited look in his eyes when Taekwoon said he loved him too. Jaehwan died five years ago but why did he still came back to haunt his life again? He thought he had buried all those feelings away and thrown them away, so why did it hurt the same again. It was like someone tore open that scar again and let them bled again.

He could felt when the first tear fell down from his eyes. He needed to go away before N found him here. It wasn’t his fault and he didn’t want to make the other felt any guiltier. Bowing his head, he walked along the crowded toward the park. He tried to hold back his tears because it would be weird to cry alone on the street. He kept on walking and didn’t notice that he almost ran into someone.  His feet stopped a few centimeters from another person’s and Leo lifted his head to look straight at a pair of black eyes.