Smoke was high in the air as Daehyun took a drag from the fatty he’d rolled himself with quite unskilled fingers. Youngjae lay next to him with Daehyun’s bed dipping from the weight of more than one person. It creaked, threatening to really break this time as Youngjae rolled over and sighed, finally asking what was on his mind.

“Do you always have to beat that poor boy up?” He looked straight into Daehyun’s reddening eyes and sat up slightly, using his elbow for support.

Daehyun let out a laugh, smoke billowing from his mouth and being whisked away towards the cold winter air coming out of the open window. “Of course I do. It’s fun.” He rolled his eyes. “You of all people should know that.”

Youngjae sat up fully and leaned his against the wall, crossing his arms over his unclothed chest. “You know, I really think you should stop.” He coughed slightly, waving sour smoke from his face. “Don’t you bag on that kid enough during school hours? I feel like it’s a little too extreme to take it out on him after school. Besides, you already broke his glasses three times over. Shouldn’t you let up?” He paused, shivering. “And would you close that damn window?”

“Not gonna stop.” He closed his eyes and felt around on the floor for his leather bomber before tossing it in the direction he presumed Youngjae was in. “And that window’s open so my mom doesn’t come home to her house smelling like weed. Contrary to popular belief, I do get in trouble.”

With a sigh and a shake of his head, Youngjae crawled over Daehyun on the bed and began searching for his clothes that had been spread across the floor. When he successfully found his blue button up shirt, he threw Daehyun’s bomber back at him and slipped his own shirt on. Eventually he found his pants, shoes, socks, underwear and jacket in Daehyun’s disaster of a room. It didn’t take nearly as long as usual.

Peeking out from underneath the jacket that had been thrown across his head, Daehyun popped an eye open. “You going somewhere, babe?”

“I’m leaving.” Was all Youngjae gave him as he slipped his rather tight fitting pants on and slid his feet into his brightly coloured sneakers. He slung his backpack over one of his shoulders and lingered in the doorway only to say, “I’ll see you tomorrow,” before actually exiting Daehyun’s little trailer.

A long and overly dramatic sight left Daehyun’s lips along with another puff of smoke. He flicked the roach of his fatty into an ashtray on his bedside. He moved the jacket from his face and stared at the residual smoke slipping out of the room and into the air just outside of his room. Youngjae was always like that. Asking him to not beat up Junhong was like asking him to stop smoking. It was just down right impossible. He lived for that terrified look that the kid gave him when he raised his fist and the noise that it made when his punch landed was nothing short of divine. The entire endeavor was almost intoxicating, and he should know. He’s been to quite a few parties where age-appropriate drinks were not served.

He wasn’t sure why they were dating in the first place if they were so different from each other. Youngjae had a future and actually went to his classes. Daehyun was a burnout. There was nothing waiting for him after high school save for a spot on the fryer at the nearest McDonald’s.

Running a hand through his hair, he let out a disdainful sigh. Things were easier when he didn’t have to think so much. Youngjae used to be his favourite punching bag before a surprising turn of events. It wasn’t anything that he expected, but it seemed to work out just fine between them. The only issue was that they couldn’t be seen out in public together. Thankfully, no one really knew where Daehyun lived, so it wasn’t suspicious for Youngjae to be coming out of the same motor home every day. Daehyun just wished things could be a bit easier, a little simpler, like they were before.

With another pitiful sigh, he rolled over and hugged the blankets to his chest, inhaling the scent of Youngjae that still lingered in his sheets.

———

When Daehyun first laid eyes on Youngjae he knew that the younger kid was his next victim. It was freshman year. Daehyun had just started smoking weed and was constantly in search of kids to pound. Youngjae was his first regular. The kid was known for being a flamer, and didn’t even try to hide it. It was as if he had a flashing sign above him that said “Beat the out of me,” and Daehyun kindly took such an invitation. The only issue was, so did other kids. Youngjae was everyone’s punching bag it seemed, but Daehyun didn’t like that. He wanted him all to himself. Though he didn’t realise it at first, this was the first hint of his developing crush.

He began beating up whoever even dared to lay a finger on Youngjae. At first, Youngjae thought he was protecting him, but then Daehyun started wailing on him and all hopes of protection were gone. Daehyun gathered a following in this process, and it mostly consisted of kids who didn’t want to get beat up by him again or those who really, truly respected him. Among them was Youngjae. He would follow him around, bruised and battered, waiting for his next scheduled beating. It wasn’t until the middle of sophomore year that Daehyun finally sorted out what his feelings were. He didn’t beat on the kid because he was gay -- and flamboyantly so -- or because he was weaker. It was because he really, really liked him. From his gorgeous, wonderfully constructed face -- Daehyun’s own internal words themselves -- to the way he spoke just absolutely resonated within him. In order to catch Youngjae’s attention, he did the only thing he knew how.

He beat him harder.

It was completely divine. Daehyun loved the way that Youngjae cowered beneath him and the how he yelped when he punched him in just the right place. He was practically addicted to the emotions that he could elicit from the kid. At first, that’s the only thing that he thought he liked about him, but then it began to grow into something more. The little flashes of smiles when he let out a bitter laugh were enchanting and his eyes were so brown Daehyun often got lost in them. He wasn’t exactly sure what this meant, but he most definitely wasn’t gay. Besides, Youngjae was essentially a girl, wasn’t he? Gay men weren’t real men. That’s what his father had told him, at least. Of course. It had to be true. His father never lied about anything, save for that time he said he’d come back. But that was fine. He was most likely just busy with whatever a father had to do. All that mattered now was telling Youngjae how he felt, and he knew just the way to do it.

They usually had their daily “appointments,” as Youngjae would refer to them as, in the back of the gym on days when rain was beating heavily onto the ground. It happened to be one of those days, and the hard falling of the water droplets could be heard clearly on the roof of the gym. That was the only sound save for Youngjae’s soft breath as Daehyun cornered him in the furthest corner of the gymnasium. Their faces were close as neither of them said a word. Youngjae held his hands firm on Daehyun’s chest, warning him not to get any closer. But Daehyun didn’t follow anyone’s rules. When he was ready -- so, after quite a few minutes of staring into those beautiful brown eyes -- he leaned in and kissed Youngjae harder than he intended to.

But it was nice. Youngjae’s lips were soft, like a girl’s, and the little surprised noise that he made was enough to send Daehyun over the edge and take it to first base. He’d done this plenty of times with girls, so it wasn't difficult to lead. It was obvious that Youngjae had never done anything even remotely like this before because he fumbled and, quite honestly, had no idea what to do with Daehyun's tongue in his mouth. Before he could even manage to make it to second, Daehyun heard a soft clearing of the throat behind him. He whipped his head around, wiping Youngjae's spit from his mouth with his sleeve only to see one of the other most formidable kids in school.

And he felt his stomach drop.

There went an entire life’s worth of a reputation. He'd built himself from the ground up and now here it was, being tossed aside. Once the entire student body found out what he'd done, he'd lose everything that he had. There was only one way to keep it, and that'd be quite the challenge. The other kid, Jason, was known for his steel punches and his strong chokehold. In order to keep everything that he gained, Daehyun would have to beat the ever loving out of him. So, he curled his fingers into fists and threw the first punch.

It was a hard battle to fight, but he managed to get through it without getting his kicked. He left Jason bloody and broken on the ground of the gym floor with pain exploding through his bleeding knuckles and everywhere else that had made contact with the kid. With one last look at Youngjae cowering in the corner he was gone. Daehyun didn’t want to think about this anymore. He’d kissed him and defended his title all in one day.

How exhausting.

It wasn’t until days later that he saw Youngjae again. He confronted Daehyun in the hall, right in front of people on their way to classes. “Why?” Was all he could ask as everyone around the two stopped. For a moment, Daehyun stared in awe at the daring thing that Youngjae just had done. He felt the burning eyes of onlookers on his back as they all anticipated his next move. There was no way that he would sacrifice his reputation for someone like Youngjae, so he did the most natural thing he could think of and beat him down until he was curled into a ball in the middle of the hallway. Once the throng of kids dispersed and no one was left in the halls, Daehyun knelt down and whispered a small, “Because I like you,” before he helped him up and left once again.

Their meetings were no longer as violent as they were before. Daehyun had taken to beating him less and kissing him more. Of course, when they were in front of others he beat Youngjae senseless, but when they were alone he did nothing but push and push until they finally got to second base. It had been in the janitor’s closet closest to the auditorium, the one that no one ever used. Daehyun revelled in the way that Youngjae whined and moaned beneath him. He was almost like every other girl Daehyun had ever been with, yet he was also something more.

Something much better.