Somewhere in Seoul, South Korea

[CHUNJI'S POV] 

"I've always wanted to meet my mother. The woman who gave me life and carried me in her stomach for 10 months, the woman who loved and protected me when I was just a small little fragile, dependable being, the woman who sacrificed her own life so I could see the light of day, the very woman whom I'll never see to thank for all that she had given me, because she died while she was giving birth to me. She lost her life so I could be alive, she lost her hopes and dreams so I could pursue mines, she lost everything only to give me everything, but without her around to share my life, it feels like I have nothing and that the biggest part of me is missing, that the big hole in my heart will never heal, and it hurts. It hurts knowing that the person I need the most to go through the hardships of this world is not beside me. And I can't help but to feel guilty about it. Guilty because I'm healthy and alive, and she isn't."

I started to sob in silence, while I was writing all of that in my journal, and before I knew it, my tears started to flow heavily and I was crying out loud.

"Today is my 18th birthday. What was supposed to be the happiest day of the year for me turned out to be the saddest, because it was also my mother's death anniversary. I've never visited my mother's grave, not even once. I feel like I don't have the right to, afterall, a murderer would never go mourn on it's victime's grave right ? So how can I show my face at a place like this, knowing that I'm the reason she's there in the first place ? I can't, I just can't !"

I was writing all of this laying on my bed under the covers to hide from my roomates. I didn't want them to find out that I was keeping a diary. I lived in a foster home and I was sharing a room with three other boys my age and in exchange for the hospitality provided to us, we had to work for Mr and Mrs Bang, and I was late. Work started at 6:30 Am, It was now 7:00 and I was still in bed. It was only a matter of time before Min Soo, the Bang's eldest son barges in to drag me to work.

And he did. Couple of seconds later, tere he was standing in the door way like he was some sort of chief.

"YAH ! LEE CHAN HEE, GET TO WORK !" He yelled, pulling the covers from over my head. I had just enough time to slip my diary under my pillow before I sat on my bed. He pulled me up from my coller and dragged me all the way to the front door. I didn't even had time to properly dress, I was still in my PJ's when I put my boots and coat on and since it was winter, the air was dry and really cold. I could feel the my legs freeze up when I stepped outside. There was just no way I was going to work outside all day dressed so lightly in that cold winter. So I turned around to go back inside and change, but Min Soo, pulled me back, I almost fell on the ground.

"Hey, where do you think you're going ?" He asked in a cold, chief like voice.

"I have to change or I'm going to freeze to death." I said shivering. It wouldnt be so bad. I though to myself. At least I'd join my mom in heaven. and be happy forever.

"You have five minutes, or I'll leave without you." 

"Alhasseo !"  

I ran back inside and climbed the stairs three by three in order to get to my room and change. I was doing my best to hurry, because Min Soo was really going to leave without me if I wasn't fast enough, and if he did, then that would mean no work for me which will result in Mr. Bang scolding me and sending me to bed hungry. ! Where are my freaking cloths. My stuff have been touched. I was going through my drawers but nothing in them was mine. The pants, the shirts, even the undies they were all someone else's.

"Mrs. Bang moved your stuff." Said a voice behind me. I turned around to see Daniel standing in the doorway with a cereale bowl in his hands. I got up and walked up to him. 

"Mwuh rah goo-yo ?" I asked a bit annoyed.

"Mrs. Bang moved your stuff." He repeated taking a spoon full of his cereales. 

"Where did she move them ?"

He shrugged his shoulders and kept eating. I sighed loudly. At that point I was freaking upset. The woman went through my stuff and moved them without even telling me beforhand. I walked pass Daniel and ran down stairs. Even if it was cold to death, I walked out of the house without my coat towards the storeroom, where Mrs. Bang was usually doing her laundry in winter. When I arrived, I started to bang on the door. "MRS. BANG !" I yelled. "PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR." no answer. So I kept banging harder and harder. Soon, Min Soo came running.

"YAH ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING !" He yelled trying top pull me away from the door. "LET GO OF ME !" I yelled back pushing him away. He grabbed me by the collar and tried to dragg me away from the storeroom door, but I lockmyself down to the ground to keep him from pulling me. "LET GO OF ME DANM IT !!" I yelled again. Finally, after a moment, the door finally open, and Mrs. Bang emerged from the storeroom.

"Aigo ! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE ?" She yelled to me and Min Soo when she saw us fight. After looking at eachother angrily, I turned my eyes on the short woman.

"A-Ajuma" I started shivering and puffing. "Daniel told me you moved my stuff."

"Geulae !" She replied.

"May I ask you where they are ?" I asked calmly. The woman gave a look in Min Soo's direction, he nodded then left. I could hear him start the truck and driving away. Afterwards, Mrs, Bang told me to follow her inside with a hand gesture, so I did. When I stepped in, I realised that she had cleaned it. The place was divided in two. On the left side were the boxes and some other junk, and on the right side was a small matriss on the ground and....my stuff. You have got to be kidding me. I though to myself. 

"Here are your stuff." She said pointing toward my bags. 

"Why are they in the storeroom ?" I asked pretending to be oblivious to the situation, when In reality, I knew what she was going to tell me.

"We have a new kid who's arriving home tomorrow afternoon." she started. "And we don't have enough room in the house for him, But since he's younger than you, I'm giving him your part of the room." She continued with a cold and detached tone. Then she left, leaving me alone in my new "room". I was on the verge of tears. I was standing in the doorway, with nothing but my Pj's on, in the cold deadly winter shivering like a leaf.

"Maybe that was my pusnishement, maybe my life was miserable because of the horror I've comitted. Since my mother died because of me, How could I even think of having a good life ? That was fair right ? Having to live like this was my only way of life, since I didn't deserve to live in the firts place."

I walked to my matress slowly as if I was a zombie who's life was drained out of it's body, and as I sat down, I started to cry big tears.

"Joesong haeyo eomma !" I started crying "I'm sorry You had to give up your life for that pityfull, worthless human being that I am ! Jeongmal Joesonghaeyo. I'm so sorryyyy !" I let myself fall on the matress burring my head into the pillow and cried myself to sleep.