A pair of weak shoulders slumped helplessly. It was break time and LuHan just wanted some peace and quiet in the classroom while eating his food. However, his “bullies” were not having it. They were taunting the boy, throwing insults and malicious words at him like there is no tomorrow.

“Oh~ LuHan~ C’mere, kitty kitty! Have some fun with us!”

“Though you’re disgusting, you can be of great help, too. That is, when we are bored!” said the boy who looked like the biggest jerk of all while poking LuHan’s freckle-covered cheeks. They burst into laughter when the smaller boy turned pale. With watery eyes, the poor boy stood up and quietly left the classroom. Yixing, who was there to witness it all, scratched his nails on the wooden desk, causing an ear piercing sound to resonate throughout the room. The bullies turned to him questioningly to see the boy hanging his head low.

They missed to see the dark rim casted on his face.

-

Yixing was on his way back to his apartment from the convenience store when he spotted a very familiar face at the park amidst the darkness of the night. LuHan was sitting on the swing, moving back and forth in a slow pace while looking aimlessly at the sky. Despite the cold weather, LuHan was wearing thin set of clothes; a white long sleeve shirt, wrinkled pants that he bought for sale and worn-out outdoor shoes, in contrast to Yixing who was sporting a long cardigan and a beanie.

It wasn’t his intention to stop by and talk to LuHan. Yixing don’t do that thing-just come up to someone and hit a conversation. But somehow, his feet ended up walking towards LuHan who tensed up after he felt someone’s presence.  The weak-hearted boy watched Yixing come closer through the corners of his puffy eyes. His fingers were drumming unceasingly on his lap, a gesture that tells how much anxious he was.

Yixing didn’t say anything. He just sat next to LuHan and gazed at the night sky. Awkward silence enveloped between them, at least in LuHan’s part. As for Yixing, he could not be more “comfortable”.

Truth be told, Yixing liked LuHan ever since he saw him during the first day of their freshman year. The boy lacked qualities of a charming person but Yixing’s feelings seem to have developed even more. They were both targets of bullying in school. There were many instances when he saw how the big boys with nothing else to do but ruin someone else’s life make fun of LuHan. There were also many instances when he wanted to stand up and protect him. There were moments when he was willing to get himself into trouble just to spare the other boy. But all those thoughts remained in his head. For some reason, he always ended up watching instead of doing something. Maybe because he felt like LuHan would not care about it. Or maybe because he himself was afraid to stand up.

He was a coward despite the coldness in his heart.

That day when the jocks told LuHan to die because he is a useless piece of , Yixing’s heart reached its limit.

Time ticked but no one dared to say something. LuHan wanted to run away but he was scared to move. Sure, he sees Yixing everyday at school but it never occurred to him that one night, the other boy would come in sight, approach and sit next to him in the park where he usually goes when he is sad; just the two of them. Just when he thought things couldn’t get worse, it started to sprinkle. LuHan gasped quietly when the water trickled down his cheeks. He accidentally turned to Yixing’s direction to see the boy staring at him. LuHan’s chest constricted. He quickly stood up to walk away but the taller boy was quick to grab his hand.

“You come with me.”

-

LuHan found himself wet and shivering in an unfamiliar apartment. He stayed at the doorway, not sure what to do. Yixing appeared across the room, carrying a towel to dry himself. LuHan quickly looked down and nibbled his bottom lip. In a swift motion, the other boy pulled him closer and started dabbing the cloth on LuHan’s face. The boy tensed up; his heart racing wildly at the gentle touch. It might sound ridiculous but Yixing was the first person, other than LuHan’s deceased parents, to touch him. The feeling was foreign, surprisingly refreshing though he did not want to admit it. The moment Yixing’s hand brushed along his neck, LuHan gasped and spun around; his back facing the other boy. He finally broke the silence between them, “I-I think I’m okay. I-I r-really n-need t-to go ba-ck home.”

Home for LuHan is a small room he rented near his school; no mother to welcome him every time he arrives and no father to talk to in the dining table. LuHan has always been alone like Yixing and somehow, without really asking, they already knew about it.

Yixing stared at LuHan’s back intently, “I don’t think that’s a good idea. The rain won’t stop any minute now. You don’t have an umbrella. I can’t lend you one because I don’t have any. You’ll get wet…and sick.” The last few words were spoken with great concern. It was eminent in Yixing’s voice that he actually cares for LuHan and the latter was slowly realizing it.

“Besides, I want to talk to you,” Yixing added before pulling LuHan in a sudden embrace. The other boy flinched when his body landed on Yixing’s chest. Two strong arms caged him in so he could not move about.

“WWHA-AT ARE Y-YOU—?!”

“Stay still,” Yixing whispered. Gently, he brushed the towel on LuHan’s hair to dry it. His movements were careful as if he was afraid to break LuHan.

“Y-you don’t h-have to do this,” LuHan insisted, although his resolve was slowly crumbling. Sensing this, Yixing heaved a sigh and decided that it was time to let it all out. LuHan noticed that the towel dropped on the wooden floor. The next thing he knew, Yixing’s head was resting on his left shoulder. He could feel the warm breath of the taller boy brushing along his neck. It caused LuHan to squeeze his eyes shut. When Yixing breathed in, LuHan’s body subconsciously move away to escape. Nevertheless, he ended up being squished by the boy. His hold was tight that LuHan felt so weak against his broad shoulders, inside those strong arms and against the rock-hard chest. When it comes to physical stature, Yixing appeared to be more mature than LuHan. The latter was small for his age and gender, not to mention his baby-face that was another reason why other boys make fun of him.

“I s-stink,” he blurted out. “D-don’t do that.”

Yixing disagreed. “You actually smell really nice.”

“NO! N-no I don’t. Please! Let go of me…”

“I won’t,” Yixing contested. “I tried before but I can’t. Now that I am brave enough to take you here, there’s no way I’m letting you go. At least not until I tell you the reason why I am doing this. You have to listen to me, LuHan.”

It was the first time LuHan heard him speak more than one sentence. In the classroom, every time the teacher asks him for an answer, Yixing would either reply in the most lazy voice or just shrug, totally ignoring the question. LuHan only knew this side of Yixing so to hear him say those words in a kind tone caused his knees to grow weaker.

Yixing turned him around so he could see his face. The smaller boy was avoiding his eyes by staring hard on the floor. Yixing didn’t force him to look up, aware that it might take a longer time for LuHan to finally warm up to him. He himself has not experienced this thing; to confess. It was like a distant dream to be able to do that with his soul as broken as LuHan’s.

“I like you.”

Those words suddenly came out of nowhere. LuHan’s mind filtered them, thinking it was an act of pity, but Yixing was quick to assure him. “I am not saying this because I feel sorry for you. Or because I feel lonely.”

LuHan’s head shook disapprovingly.

“I am being serious right now,” Yixing added. “I don’t do this thing to be honest. But I feel like if I won’t say this now, I wouldn’t be able to say this forever.”

LuHan refused to believe him. “You can’t like me,” he began with a shaking voice. “I-I am not a p-person to be liked by others.”

“Said those who treat you lowly,” Yixing butted in. His fist clenched tightly.

“But what they are saying is true. No one has ever liked me before because of how I look. I- I know this sounds r-really pathetic but th-is…this is what I feel—“

LuHan swallowed his words when he felt Yixing’s hand tracing his cheek. He threw his head to the side and avoided it but the other boy was persistent. His warmth radiated as he caressed Luhan’s face. The next thing he did melted LuHan’s doubts into oblivion. Yixing’s lips landed on his left cheek. His arms s around LuHan’s waist as he pressed their bodies together.

LuHan’s eyes watered.

Yixing was washing away the hurt in his chest that was put fabricated by false judgment and disrespect. He was kissing his imperfections; the one LuHan thought no one would be able to see as special. Shortly, tears started streaming down his reddened cheeks. He wanted to pull away but Yixing held him possessively. He even kissed away the tears.

LuHan’s face touched the softness of the bed as Yixing lay him down. The latter’s lips now found their way to LuHan’s shivering ones. The gentle kisses turned intense by the second. LuHan sunk deeper into the sheets, unresponsive. He was afraid to make a single move, worried of the consequences. Yixing pulled away for a moment and stared down at him. LuHan’s eyes were shut.

“LuHan, look at me.”

“…..”

“Please look at me.”

Yixing brushed his thumb along the other boy’s eyes, urging him to open them but LuHan didn’t want to.

“Please…” Yixing sounded so desperate. He was getting hopeless as each second passed with only silence coming from LuHan. When his heart was about to give up, he felt LuHan’s arms reaching out for him. Yixing watched the boy slowly hugged him back. There was hesitation but LuHan managed to do it. His breath hitched when LuHan sobbed. “Why do you make me feel special?”

Yixing’s eyes weighed heavy on him, “Because you are special. You have always been special to me. Sorry if I can’t tell you in the most romantic way. I just don’t work well with words. But that’s how I feel, LuHan. I’m being sincere. I really really like you.” Love even.

His heart swelled with those words. Indeed, Yixing wasn’t the kind to utter sugarcoated words but the sincerity in his action sufficed for LuHan. He took a deep breath before he made up his mind. He carefully opened his eyes.

The first thing LuHan saw was the scar on Yixing’s cheek. He lifted his fingers and dabbed them gently on the mark. He could only imagine how Yixing feels every time he sees his reflection, not to mention the bitter memories that come along with it. Like him, he always sees himself as ugly. Yixing probably felt the same, too.

LuHan’s eyes slowly traveled up to meet a pair of chocolate orbs, moistened with tears and hooded with passion.

LuHan felt braver this time. He was the one to initiate the next kiss, pressing his lips harder on Yixing’s. People say that first kisses are magical. But for LuHan, the word doesn’t equate on how he felt.

For the first time, he was able to see his own reflection, carved in the eyes of the person who sees him as special.

He wasn’t able to hide a smile. So does Yixing.