Sora's POV

It was getting late. Mother was still not home yet. Probably fooling around with some lecherous man again. Wasn't that all she did nowadays? Go clubbing in some ty dress, get drunk, and have one night stands with men wayy younger than her. 

She probably already forgot she has a daughter. 

Everyone already probably has forgotten me. Isn't what this world is about? Forgetting your mistakes?

I closed my eyes, laying on my bed. The past events flashed through my head.

"No! Stop, please!" I cried, feeling his nails digging into my back. He forced me down ignoring my pleas.

"Let go of me!" I screamed, tears running down my face. I was suffocating. I couldn't breathe.

He was laughing, enjoying my pain, my tears.

I screamed. The only sound that filled my ears was my screaming, and his laughing.

I screamed, covering my ears, and squeezing my eyes shut.

I wanted all of it too go away. All of it.

I wanted it to disappear.

No, I wanted to.

To be gone from this earth, and all of its pain.

I was sick of it all, I couldn't take it anymore.

I wanted to be put out of my misery.

I smiled ironically to myself.

There was a way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was half-insane, dragging myself on my knees to the bathroom. My breath came in short, frenzied gasps. 

I staggered to my feet , prying open the medicine cabinet by the handles.

I carelessly rummaged through the prescription pills, swiping them off the shelf. I didn't care if they fell on the ground and shattered, piercing my feet. I just had to find that one certain bottle.

I went through all the meds until their was nothing left in the cabinet. I screamed hysterically, pulling at my hair. It wasn't here. Where the hell is it?!?! I didn't understand. Where was it? 

I shifted through the pile of broken containters and pills, wondering if I had missed it.

Nothing. 

I ranted out loud. I REALLY needed it...Really, really needed it...I screamed as if the whole world depended on whether I found the bottle or not.

I laughed, half crazed. I really was insane. I should be locked up in a mental hospital. Erased from the world.

More memories flashed through my mind. I shook my head frantically to empty it.

I looked around the house for paper. I needed paper and a pen. I walked over numbly to my desk. Papers were scattered all over it. I had taped pictures of me and my girlfriends up on the wall. 

Suddenly, I thought of something. I took a black permanent marker and slowly, deliberately drew a big black 'X' over my face in each picture. Until I came to one picture. It was of me and Myungsoo just before I temporarily moved to the States when I was fifteen or something, which is when we lost touch with each other. I had no idea where he was now or what he was doing.

If Myungsoo was still by my side, would things have turned out differently? 

I took scissors and carefully took a picture of me and Myungsoo--I had tons of them--and carefully cut my figure out, replacing the spot where I once was with a huge, gaping hole. 

Perfect.

Next, I took a pen from my penholder and grabbed a random sheet of paper and wrote in sloppy handwriting--so much different than my neat print.

Myungsoo,

 

                 By the time you read this, I've probably long gone cold already.

               Remember the time you told me that life wasn't worth living anymore? When you just wished the earth would just open and swallow you up, or that you would get hit by a car?

 

 

                When I met you, I finally understood. The world wasn't the fairytale I had imagined. I was just living in a crystal glass ball. Seeing the real world, but pretending not to. Being ignorant, pretending my world was perfect.

 

 

                I should have known by then, there were cracks in my crystal glass ball, and one day, it would shatter.

 

                My life has been full of mistakes. But if there is one thing I don't regret, it was meeting you.

 

 

"Aish!" I yelled, scratching out line after line. This isn't what I wanted to say. Why couldn't I just write the damn words already? I crumpled the paper into a ball and threw it on my bed.

I lay on my bed, closing my eyes. I lay thinking of all the good times I once had had. Of course, those were all lies. I picked up the crumpled ball of paper and smoothed it out. 

In the end, all I wrote was:

                Forgive me. Saranghae.

Sora.

I folded it neatly and laid it on my dresser. I turned to my closet and started rummaging through my clothes.

I don't know why, but I had this sudden urge to wear my favorite outfit, the one Myungsoo once got me for my birthday. This is when I was in the States, so he shipped it over. I still have the card.

I threw clothes out of the way left and right until I found it. My fingers lingered on the cool fabric. I pressed it to my cheek. I changed into it quickly in the bathroom. 

I laughed hysterically. Myungsoo really had good taste. The crimson red long-sleeved dress and black fishnet leggings really matched myself. How could Myungsoo have been able to have guess?

I picked up the letter in my hands and walked out of my apartment. Just before my hands touched the doorknob, I ran frantically back to my room and grabbed all the pictures of Myungsoo and me.

If I was going to die, I wanted to die with the thing that was most precious to me.

I grabbed a whole loadful of them in my arms and with my letter, walked out of the door. My room was one of the rooms on the seventh floor of the apartment complex. I walked over to the railing overlooking the street and threw the pictures up into the sky. 

They slowly drifted away falling to the ground, scattering all in different directions. I laughed, seeing my one last connection to this damn world cut off. 

But almost immeditely, tears sprang to my eyes. Those were the only memories I had left of Myungsoo. How could I let them go so easily? I frantically leaned over the railing and tried to snatch them back from the wind. 

They were all too far from my grasp except two. I swiped at the air desperately, snatching them back with my fingers. I slumped against the railing with a relieved sigh.

They were my most precious ones: one was of me and him when we were little, another was of me and him when we had grown up just before I left for the States. 

I hugged them to my chest, sobbing. I clutched them closely with my letter. 

I climbed shakily onto the railing and sat there, my legs swinging and my arms wide open. 

Slowly, passerbyers noticed me and several started screaming. I ignored them. Let them scream if they want, it won't change anything. Gradually, a large crowd started to gather. Some lady screamed hysterically, "Someone, get her down from there!!"

Some men started running up the stairs. I frowne. I didn't want them to interrupt my reverie. "Yah! Girl! Wait! You're not thinking properly. Why don't you get down from there and we'll talk this out." One of the men pleaded with me.

I ignored their pleas and raised the pictures and the letter to my lips and kissed it. I tucked it into my dress and closed my eyes.

I let go of the railing, unaware of the screams, and suddenly, I was freefalling through the sky.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

L's POV

I heard a bunch of screams right around the block from where I was enjoying a coffee with Woohyun hyung. "Eh? Is it a street fight?" I cocked my head, listening. 

Woohyun shrugged, "Wanna go find out?" 

I smirked, "Why not?" I left a tip for the waiter and stood up from my chair. I stretched luxuriously and yawned. "Man, I'm so glad I don't have a schedule today." I took off my sunglasses, "Man, I hate it when Manager hyung always makes us hide ourselves whenever we got out in public."

"Me too," Woohyun agreed, "I feel sorry for Sunggyu hyung, Dongwoo hyung, Hoya, Sungyeol, and Sungjong though." He laughed. 

We took our coffee cups and walked slowly to the source of the voices. When we turned the block, I saw a huge mass of people screaming and freaking out. Some were crying while others were frantically screaming out words, "Someone call 119!!"

"She doesn't have a heartbeat!"

"She's dead!"

At this, Woohyun and I looked at each other with alarmed glances. We ran toward the throng of people and pushing and shoving through the crowd of relentless people, I stood in the innermost circle, looking down. 

A girl of about Sungjong's age lay sprawled in the middle. Her arms were flung out from her body and her eyes were closed. A sickening, growing pool of dark red blood seeped from behind her hair. 

Several strands of black hair were thrown across her face, covering it. I nudged the person next to me, "What happene?!?!" I whispered.

The man next to me bowed his head, "I was walking along the street on my daily walk when I heard some ahjumma screaming. She was pointing up to the apartment complex, so I looked up. The girl was sitting the railing, dangling her feet. She kissed this letter and some pictures and let go. I was one of the men who tried to persuade her to not do it. She wouldn't listen."

The man wiped his eyes, "Sad story, this."

A woman kneeling next to the girl called out, "Who here knows CPR?" Several people shuffled uncomfortably. I raised my hand, "Ummm...I do." Which was true. I took a few courses when I was younger during high school. For an elective course.

Woohyun shook me by the shoulders, "Yah! Are you crazy?! Manager hyung is going to kill you!" 

I shook him off, "You want her to DIE?!"

He shook his head vehemently, "Let someone else do it!"

I shook him, "No one is volunteering! See? NO ONE." I shrugged off my coat, "I'm not going to let someone with a chance of breathing air again die." I put on my sunglasses to cover my face. Now would be the worst time for fangirls to interfere.

To be truthful, I didn't want her to make the same mistake I almost made. To end a life that was still young with endless futures.

I went over to the still body and wiped her hair away from her face. The woman next ot her looked at me suspiciously. Whoa, I have ENTIRE PURE, INNOCENT, GOODWILLING INTENTIONS. No worries there. No sane man would want to kiss a dead unconcious girl. That's just..wrong.

Her face was beautiful, I in my breath. She looked so peaceful and still like this was what she wanted. To be rid of this world. With a pang, I remembered when I had once felt that way.

It was only thanks to Sora that I was still breathing. 

Her eyes were heavily coated with eyeliner and mascara. Dried tear-tracks ran down her cheeks. Her blood rep lips were parted slightly. I put my ear to her heart to listen for a pulse.

That was when I noticed her outfit. 

It was red...a short, long-sleeved crimson dress paired with black fishnets. Just like the birthday outfit I had given to Sora on her 16th birthday. I shook my head. 

There was no living possible way this was Sora. The Sora I knew with a happy, smiling face was nothing like the lifeless, broken girl that lay before me now.

I put my mouth to hers and blew a huge gust of air into her lungs while pumping her heart. I continued to do so with the crowd worriedly overlooking me.

Finally, after what seemed like eons, her lifeless fingers twitched.

The crowd cheered and I lifted my head with a relieved sigh. 

I did it.

I stood up and looked at the crowd, "Did anyone call 119 yet?" A woman raised her hand, "I did. They're coming right now."

I nodded and walked back to Woohyun. Everywhere, the people congratulated me, "Young man, you just did a very good deed." 

"When she wakes up, she'll be glad to know someone saved her."

And so on.

Walking back to Woohyun, I smiled, "See? I told you. I prevented it from happening again..." I trailed off, losing my smile. 

Woohyun looked at me puzzled, "Again? Are you saying it happened before?" 

I shook my head, "Aniyo. I was just rambling. Hey, what's that in your hand?" I pointed to photos and a white envelope in his hand.

He looked down, "Oh! This! I was going to show you." He urgently waved it in front of my face. I found these on the ground when everyone else was looking at you."

He showed me one of the two photos. It was faded, really old. I squinted at the two kids in the photograph, "Is this the girl?" She was smiling in this one. I traced her smile. So, there was a time when she smiled. 

Woohyun nodded, "And the boy next to her? He kind of looks like you." He joked, chuckling taking the photo.  

I laughed," Seriously? You're crazy, Woohyun." 

Woohyun chuckled, "Looks like Myungsoo is a popular name nowadays. AND you have a lot of look a likes." He pulled out the envelope, waving it in front of me, "Look! This letter is even addressed to a Myungsoo!"

I shook my head in disbelief, "No way."

Woohyun smirked, "Way." He took out the letter to show to me. I looked at the heading. The paper was all crumpled and almost torn by the pressure of the pen point. 

I read the header, 

Myungsoo,

Then I skipped all the way down to the end to see if it was signed.

 Forgive me. Saranghae.

Sora.

 

 

Sora.

Sora.

Sora.

Sora.

 

"The boy next to her? He kind of looks like you." Woohyun's words echoed in my head again. 

 

I frowned, "Wait." I snatched the photo from his hands. Scrutinizing it, I almost collapsed.

This photo looked so familiar....A flash of recognition came across my face.

Oh. My. God.....There's no possible way...No, it can't be...My eyes were mistaken...I wanted to believe this wasn't true...There were a million people in the world named Sora.

But my eyes couldn't deceive me...the photo was right in front of me as evidence.

That WAS me and Sora in the picture as kids. 

And that means...that girl that attempted suicide just now...

.....Was Sora.....

I read the note again this time. Really reading it. 

Myungsoo,

 

         By the time you read this, I've probably long gone cold already.

       Remember the time you told me that life wasn't worth living anymore? When you just wished the earth would just open and swallow you up, or that you would get hit by a car?

 

 

                When I met you, I finally understood. The world wasn't the fairytale I had imagined. I was just living in a crystal glass ball. Seeing the real world, but pretending not to. Being ignorant, pretending my world was perfect.

 

I miss you. There are times I wonder if things would 

 

                I should have known by then, there were cracks in my crystal glass ball, and one day, it would shatter.

 

                My life has been full of mistakes. But if there is one thing I don't regret, it was meeting you. 

  

 

                Forgive me. Saranghae.

Sora.

Sora...what happened? What happened that made you lose your smile? 

I remembered her lifeless, broken figure on the pavement and finally broke down.

Then I remembered everything we went through back when we were young.

How she pulled my back from the brink of despair.  

My knees gave out under me and I fell to my knees, sobbing and holding the pictures and her last letter close to my heart. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

kittyxluvlee here :D Sorry for the extrememly long wait T.T I was wayyy too busy working on my Monster fic <---CLICK!! [LOL, Shameless advertising XD]. 

How was it? Le gasp! Sora committed suicide! Well..yeah..she kind of lost it just now..<.< LOL could you tell I based her part on the Epik High 'One' MV? 

I was just flowing with inspiration today so I decided to work on this one for a change. I want to thank our lovely, faithful subscribers :D I'm so glad you guys didn't get impatient ^^ 

Please comment and subscribe :D Both are very much appreciated ^^ Let's be friends!

This is kittyxluvlee signing off ^^