Amidst the applause of the crowd, Jongin was miserable. Despite the award acknowledging him as a successful photographer, he was unhappy. Two agonizing months went by notwithstanding his promise to LuHan.

The call of fame blinded him. For a while, he thought he had achieved all his dreams; a recognition of his work, a dream job in Seoul and an endless tour around the world. He gained friends. He worked with people he never thought would pay attention to an amateur like him. He was paid twice his previous salary. He could buy more things for himself. Jongin felt the luckiest. But it didn’t last. Soon enough, he found himself in regret. In contrast to being blessed, he felt incomplete. Every little thing reminds him of LuHan; the morning rain that whiffs a fresh scent of flowers, taking his mind back to their rendezvous, the golden trophy that shines bright alike to LuHan’s antlers, the soft pillow he cuddles at night that is as soft as LuHan’s body. Even the sound of the birds chirping in the morning reminds him of his time with LuHan. No matter how hard he tries, his memories will always be reminiscent of a certain deerling that snatched his heart.

In the middle of his speech, LuHan’s face flashed in his mind. It took mere seconds before Jongin gave in. Without saying another word, he left the stage and stormed out of the hall.

The security personnel who ran after him found the latter’s golden trophy lying on the floor exit.

He was gone.

-

Time was testing Jongin’s patience. Six hours of travelling and Kawikee was still out of reach. He had the urge to jump off the boat that was moving so slow and swam across the ocean to reach the island and finally see LuHan again. To apologize was the first thing he ought to do.

The Kawikee Jongin remembers was nothing like before his eyes. The green foliage turned into a shade of dark brown. Scarce leaves are hanging lightly on splitting branches. The shimmering sand that used to cover the entirety of the shore was gone. The golden color of seaside changed into a mossy green, showing how unhealthy and lifeless the island has become. No bright-feathered birds hovering around. No sea turtles roaming around the seashore under the morning sun. No colorful flowers adorning the island. Jongin’s heart sunk as he looked around the paradise he once knew. With heavy footsteps, he searched for the deerling. He entered the forest, stepping on died grasses beneath him. The wood was reeking with unpleasant smell. The first sighting of a female white-tailed deer crushed Jongin’s heart. The poor soul was skinny to the bones. Her eyes were a picture of sadness. She was moving with wobbly feet, walking towards Jongin as if to ask for help. The man, torn with guilt and weary, sat on his heels and let the deer his hand. With gentleness, he the scrawny body to comfort. After he made sure the deer has no fatal wounds, Jongin took his leave and promised to her that everything will be all right. “I will fix this,” he muttered, staring deeply at the hopeful doe-eyes.

“LuHan! Where are you? I have returned! Please show yourself!” Jongin called repeatedly. He was in the deepest part of the forest where trees bent down; their branches blocking the path that was once embellished with arrays of flowers. The same course that he and LuHan tackled to reach the latter’s haven. Jongin was scared to see what was ahead. He was filled with regret, knowing he was the reason why this all happened. LuHan was heartbroken. His home was reflecting the kind of pain he endured and probably still enduring at that moment wherever he is.

Jongin stopped on his tracks and wiped away the tears in his eyes. He was tired and desperate. “Please,” he whispered. “Forgive me. I have broken my promise because I was a coward. I hurt you and tarnished the happiness that you deserve. You deserve love not betrayal. You deserve happiness not pain. I love you yet I failed you.” Jongin felt the harsh wind blowing along his nape. “I want to make this right. Will you give me another chance? Even though I don’t deserve it?”

Jongin’s plea was cut short by a rustling sound. His head turned sharply towards the direction of the shuffling bush. Something was moving weakly behind it. Jongin scampered through the trees, squeezing his body through. When his eyes fell on the fragile deerling, lying helplessly on the ground, he froze.  LuHan’s eyes were sunken. His skin was paler than before. He was hugging his knees on his chest while breathing raggedly. His antlers were covered with mud. His face was tainted with dirt. He was shivering on the cold ground, finding warmth on the fallen leaves that were splayed on his body. Jongin dropped to his knees and quickly took the delicate creature in his arms. He wiped away the dirt on his face, taking away the leaves that cover the deerling’s body.

“LuHan,” he called with a broken voice. “I’m sorry.”

-

The evening sky fell upon the island of Kawikee, sending the birds to their roosts. Jongin was setting more woods for the bonfire he put up next to the stagnant pool in the heart of the forest. He was sitting under the customized tent he brought along, next to LuHan who was lying down on a woven mat. With the fire blazing, Jongin turned to LuHan and pulled the blanket to his chest. He was caressing the pale cheeks, giving warmth amidst the chilly night. Not long, LuHan’s eyes finally fluttered open. Jongin’s chest tightened for a moment. When his eyes met LuHan’s tired orbs, the latter frowned. “LuHan. It’s me,” whispered Jongin. The deerling blinked twice before he struggled to get up. Jongin helped him.

The creature looked up to the man in disbelief. He cradled Jongin’s face, making sure the person in front of him was real. When their skin touched, the water gushed from LuHan’s eyes. Jongin pulled him into a tight embrace. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I didn’t keep my promise. I made you wait for so long. I’m sorry, LuHan.”

LuHan hummed and placed a soft kiss on Jongin’s shoulder.

“I hurt you. I left you in pain. I told you I love but I did not treasure you. This is all my fault.”

The deerling stifled a cry, “I felt so weak without you. I missed you so much, Jongin.”

“I missed you, too. I thought I would make it without you but I just fooled myself. I can’t do it without you by my side.”

LuHan drifted away from the embrace and faced Jongin, “Time was cruel.”

“And I was selfish. But now, I am going to make this right for the both of us. I made up my mind, LuHan.”

The deerling stared at him intently. His tired eyes flickered, causing Jongin to smile. “I am staying.”

LuHan’s face turned so bright. It was as if he was glowing. Jongin cradled his face and planted a kiss on his lips. “I am staying forever. With you and with you alone. Will you be mine forever, LuHan?”

The deerling blinked rapidly. He looked around and noticed how the trees branched out, spreading their natural beauty like before. The birds started singing the old love song they once chanted. There was a feeling of rebirth, not only for LuHan and for his relationship with Jongin, but also to the forest that went through a phase of lifelessness along with him. He stared at Jongin straight in the eyes and smiled.

-

Jongin lay LuHan down and kissed him passionately. Their skin welling up with warmth molded against each other. LuHan let him in with a soft sob. He clung to Jongin as if he was the only one that matters. They were moving in one, rekindling true love that buds inside their hearts; cherishing happiness they mostly deserve.