AN: Dedicated to my lovely friends Elli and Kelly <3 and you too Hae-yah . Enjoy reading and commenting^^

There are a lot of things that Lee Hyukjae doesn’t know about Lee Donghae.

Donghae has to resist his laughter every time Hyukjae boasts of him knowing his every inch, every step on varieties because the younger has himself chosen to keep those little secrets to himself. Hyukjae knows he cannot lie, but he is not practically lying, just hiding some very trivial yet important things from his first and only love.

The sad part is that the members of Super Junior know his one hidden secret or the other, other than his intelligently oblivious soul mate.

Kim Kibum had seen Donghae slipping a few sleeping pills in his and Hyukjae’s drinks that one sunny afternoon to skip day-long practices.

It was their 100 day anniversary and Hyukjae was being too adamant to have their choreography done, even when other members tried assuring him that they will be fine without him leading. Donghae had no choice other than making them both sick and sleepy all blaming on 4-5 portions of Kimchi Chicken stew they had the evening before (Donghae had only one portion but that is irrelevant). Though pouting and complaining Hyukjae had surrendered himself to Donghae’s arms eventually when they were back at the dorms. The taller slept through the whole day, but Donghae was content just with his musky smell, his chiselled and unblemished face lying next to his. Kibum had just passed a knowing smirk the very next morning and Donghae could only blush at his best friend’s blazing gaze.

Hyukjae has no idea about this.

Park Jungsu had stopped him from almost leaving the dorm when their relationship got sour over Hyukjae’s ex-girlfriend three years after Super Junior’s debut.

The girl had been mentally harassing the taller for months about disclosing their private pictures and Donghae was pretty pissed off with Hyukjae’s ways of handling the matter. The ever calm and cool lead dancer had agreed to go back to her if it kept her silent and Donghae just couldn’t take it. Was Hyukjae that much insecure over their relationship? Had he no faith in him? After a long-lasting and things-throwing argument with the latter, Donghae had stormed back to his shared room to pack whatever essentials he could, all ready to abandon the dorm, members and Super Junior to go back to his family whom he missed so much. Jungsu hyung had walked over just in time to stop him from doing the deed, enveloping him in his warm embrace that had Donghae break into tears within no time. He felt like he had been crying for hours when they heard a loud smash from the bathroom located in the living room and rushed to see the chaos that went around the dorm. Donghae couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw Hyukjae lying unconscious on the tiled floor all surrounded by tids-bits of shattered glass and blood. He knew Hyukjae had done this because of him, because of their fight; he had vented all that pent up rage onto the bathroom mirror, hitting it badly. Doctor was called, the gashes were stitched, but the scar that event had put upon Donghae’s heart went deeper than just a superficial one and it took him long to stop blaming himself for the mark that still lies proud on Hyukjae’s right wrist, mocking him for his great achievement. How could he even think of leaving them, his family away from family, his better half?

Hyukjae is unaware of the world’s most stupid thought that invaded Donghae’s mind and he prays to Siwon’s lord that Hyukjae would never ever stumble upon the truth because he knows Hyukjae too well and that makes him worry about the consequences of this little-hidden fact.

Hangeng knows how he had booked tickets back to Korea, hours after the members sent Super Junior M a video stating how much they missed them.

Donghae had felt so out of place and homesick over his first tour to China with only numbered members that he was close to that he couldn’t help but spend all his money on international calls and texts. Money doesn’t matter to him when it is about the people he loves. The sweet messages that comprised the videos were tear-jerking like anything but he couldn’t control himself from releasing bitter and uncontrollable tears when he saw Hyukjae crying on the screen. He had missed him so much that the days that he had already spent in an unknown country felt longer and useless and he didn’t think twice before calling up his agency to fake illness and go back to Hyukjae. Hangeng hyung took him out of his decision telling him that Hyukjae would never want this or support him for that matter.

Hyukjae doesn’t know this.

Kim Jongwoon had witnessed Donghae whining and nagging to Hyukjae’s mom over the phone one night in late December.

It was yet another day when Hyukjae ignored his multiple calls over the day only to catch up with some late night movies alone on his beloved laptop. This ongoing routine had had him anxious and insecure about their relationship, so he grabbed the opportunity and complained it to Hyukjae’s mom who loves him even more than her own son Donghae is sure of that. It was on her suggestion only when he asked it as a new year wish on Hyukjae’s Sukira KTR and as expected things became normal from then. Hyukjae was mad at him for days, though, but that does not count, the multiple midnight dates they went on after that does. Jongwoon hyung, as weird he can be, left the matter to him, not meddling with it unlike what other members would have done.

Hyukjae is still not aware that it was his mother’s genius idea.

Henry Lau and ZhouMi know that he mumbles Hyukjae’s name in his sleep when they are in China, promoting whatever events planned.

He himself had been in shock when these two Chinese members inacted him cuddling a plush pillow and murmuring Hyukkiee multiple times. A deep blush had followed Donghae’s initial shock after which he had ran after them with whatever harmful object he could grab into, his favourite fluffy slipper. The two lobsters just couldn’t stop laughing over the few days earning curious gazes from other members. They had just ignored the diva and the diva’s assistant thinking it was their yet another stupid fashion idol inside joke because thankfully for Donghae the Korean members were still not able to decipher rapid mandarin. Donghae had to shut them up with a huge bribe (read an LV latest edition ‘man’bag and a whole new violin set).

And all on heaven’s grace, Hyukjae has no clue.

Kim Heechul was aware that he had irked his beloved dongsaeng off with his out of hand fanservice with Hyukjae and Donghae paid him no mercy.

It was not a secret to the members or to Hyukjae that they will have a huge word-fight, all locked in Heechul’s shared room but they had absolutely no idea up to what extent that fight could go. Hyukjae had apologized several times but it wasn’t his fault in any way so Donghae paid him no attention, running over to Kim Heechul instead, grabbing the pretty man by his collar and throwing him into an empty room. The whole dorm had gone quite sans the muffled noises that carried on in that sinful room. Even though Donghae has his moments of temper but Heechul’s nonchalant behaviour over the matter had thrown him off the hook and he had almost hit the latter’s face, a face that Heechul loves more than anything in the world, almost spoiling his friendship with the other. But he went for his shin instead, an impeccable hit that had Heechul groan in pain.

Donghae never plans to tell this to Hyukjae because it will upset him and he knows Heechul is too proud to reveal that he got hit hard by someone younger to him.

Choi Siwon knows the time when he had so badly assumed the reality in the Hyukjae’s budding relationship with his said ideal type IU.

Donghae had been hiding inside his covers with a nightlight softly sobbing when he was alone at the dorm, other members either busy DJing, filming or practicing at the SM building. He was so absorbed in the pictures that gazed back at him from his laptop that he almost missed footsteps coming over to him. Blame all on his concentration on the fan cam catching his lover with the sweetest ever IU. The sad part was Hyukjae was not picking up his phone. In quick motion, the cover that hid his blotchy and red face was removed and he had found himself facing Siwon who had his eyes all big and curious. Without a word Donghae had launched into his lap, hugging him tightly and ruining his perfectly ironed shirt with tears. Siwon had hugged him back and run his perfect hands over the span of his back to stop him from bawling his eyes out. It was then when his phone rang and the truth got revealed. Hyukjae was with his family, eating at home not with a girl and the posts after stamped the rumour to be just a fake one and Donghae felt like world’s most stupid person ever yet again.

Duh! He will never never never tell this to Hyukjae in his whole life and he trusts Siwon just as much.

Kim Ryeowook knows just one time Donghae had adamantly tried making an Italian breakfast for Hyukjae who was still in his dreamland and ended up burning a total of 4 dishes, a bottle full of costly and exotic ingredients and uncountable numbers of bread that were apparently different from each other.

The foul smell had woken up all the other members and Ryeowook just as sweet he is, had saved his from getting a full round of chides and teases from the members had they known that it had been Donghae that tried making some food. Because, apart from regular helpings of ramen for his hubby, Donghae never cooked, like ever. Ryeowook had just coolly shrugged, dismissing the curious gazes on him like a wisp of smoke. Donghae had brought him a new giraffe plushie that day as a thank you gift which earned him an extremely tight hug and a free midnight snack for him alone. Needless to say, all his romantic plans went down the drain that day.

Hyukjae kept sleeping through the whole ordeal, so Donghae is sure that he doesn’t even know that such a chaos happened in the kitchen.

Kim Youngwoon had caught him manipulating the third wheel amongst him and Hyukjae, Choco.

The pomeranian knew no boundaries when it came to pampering and love showering and Donghae was extremely jealous of that little fur ball. So, one day when he thought nobody was looking, Donghae sneaked her in and trained her to stay away from Hyukjae. Youngwoon had entered the lawn just in time to witness a fight between those two wherein Donghae was rolling over on the ground mumbling words like stay away or Hyukjae is mine or I will not share him with Choco atop of him The father figure of the group had for months about that same incident but made a promise that it will be kept between the two of them only saving him from further embarrassment. When Choco died, it was Donghae who had apologized to her repeatedly almost shamefully for his stupid jealousy.

Hyukjae doesn’t know.

Of all the aspects of Hyukjae’s obliviousness, the one reaches grand heights is that Hyukjae has no clue that Donghae keeps a count of the kisses they have shared and he had been doing that till date.

Now, this is one thing that Donghae wanted no member to know, but who can sneak through the ever suspicious eyes of Master Cho Kyuhyun and the man in pink Lee Sungmin.

They had caught him blushing and mumbling to himself  with a diary and pen in hand one fateful evening. In one look it would seem that Donghae was lost in another lyric jotting session but the deep crimson that never left his tanned cheek gave him away. Like a hyena on gas they had guffawed for hours and Donghae was reduced to a puddle of shy mess, not able to retort to every word that left Kyuhyun’s mouth. In the end, they helped him through his crazy idea giving him tips on how to remember the dates and marking down the most important and loved one. Though ashamed, Donghae accepted the help and for years he filled the numbers on his thick diary, thick because he knew he will never let Hyukjae go ever again. He had learnt his lesson.

Donghae only noted their lips on lips moment leaving away the other kisses because he knew then his fish brain will not able to handle this much calculation. It is a surprise even to Donghae how he still keeps up with the four digit numbers now and what will he do when the numbers get uncountable. Love can make one go through anything and it is just maths. Cho Kyuhyun had bestowed his thoughts upon him one day.

Earlier into the counting, he filled in the diary with colourful pens and hearts which got diminished with growing years but Donghae still never forgets to add an asterisk on his favourite ones albeit in plain black ink.

He, on Sungmin’s suggestion, started adding photographs too, with a helpful hand from pink lover itself. It was very difficult for him to make Hyukjae agree to peck sharing selcas but just like on everything, Hyukjae gave up in no time. Donghae is sometimes really embarrassed to let Sungmin see those private moments but if only he knew how to develop negatives. But Sungmin, as sweet he can be, passes a cute smile every time and keeps his promise of not looking if not required and most definitely not share them with his immature boyfriend. And Donghae trusts Sungmin.

Donghae loves Hyukjae’s kisses.

Who wouldn’t? But Donghae will surely flip the planet if anyone would even dare to touch those plump lips. Hyukjae’s lips are for him and him only.

They surely have the sweet moments with sweet pecks on the cheek and flying kisses and Donghae loves them too, even while on stage. He loves how well he fits in Hyukjae’s embraces.

Donghae’s favourite kiss will undoubtedly be the small just lip on lip one under the lightening sky of the city of romance, Paris. Shindong had been there with them that day but with just a quick picture he had fled to god knows where, leaving them alone. And Donghae could absolutely not complain when he had his fingers laced with the pale ones and forehead touched other’s.

Hyukjae has absolutely got no idea how wonderful it feels when he is there beside Donghae all the time, loving him, protecting him without a care in the world. He loves Hyukjae’s compassionate and heartfelt confessions on SUKIRA because Donghae knows the small radio station is Hyukjae’s heaven where he can express whatever is eating him up. There Hyukjae has apologised to him on multiple occasions over the things and moments he could not return to Donghae. Hyukjae does not know this but Donghae will love him forever even with all his shortcomings and lack of expressions.

They say that the time reduces romance but it absolutely the other way around for Donghae and Hyukjae as the latter was more open now, not ashamed to kiss him even before members. Donghae would hit him every time he pulled a stunt like this but in all truth, he felt like on cloud nine. Earlier it would annoy him seeing the most obvious couple in their dorm sharing lovey-dovey looks while his own lover getting  so so so  very absorbed in an anime playing on the television but with Hyukjae’s blaring confidence now, he does not know where to hide his face. Before enlistment days, it was Donghae telling Hyukjae’s sudden cravings for affections off but he never imagined that in all truth Hyukjae was afraid of his future in the army.

Now, while sitting on the seat aligned with the wide glassed French windows, welcoming the soft rays of the sun, Donghae is sure that nothing can break the bond, the love he shares with Hyukjae. And even though he seldom says it, Hyukjae feels the same and the lyric book that lies on the coffee table is a living proof of that.

Donghae’s train of thoughts is broken by a warm hand slipping past his bare waist and wet peck on his toned shoulders. Embracing such a lovely gesture with wide arms, Donghae tilts his neck to the opposite side giving his lover more area to work on and Hyukjae obliges willingly.

“Why are you up so early in the morning?” Hyukjae’s tone is clear even for the mornings.

“Umm...I have to leave for Mokpo in two hours. Besides, I couldn’t sleep.” Donghae mumbles between soft sighs.

He feels Hyukjae detaching himself from his body only to stand in front of him, eyes swollen, face all red with weariness, concern all visible in his eyes.

“Did I tire you out so much? I am really sorry if I...” Donghae is quick to cut him with a small kiss, bringing his face closer to him and looking him directly in the eyes.

“No, don’t be sorry. It wasn’t because of you. It is just because of the training Hyuk, you know that.” Donghae speaks softly, pulling him in, aiming for those sinful lips again.

And they kiss and kiss and kiss.

3929, 3930........

The numbers grew in Donghae’s mind; getting all dissolved with the gentle touch of their tongues. Even if he won’t remember the exact digits, he can surely not forget the feeling and that is enough for him.

Donghae plans to share this little secret with Hyukjae when they are old, withered, toothless and surrounded by a whole soccer team of grandkids whilst sitting on their front porch. He knows that he would love the twinkle in Hyukjae’s eyes and his full gummy smile then as Hyukjae would relive their whole journey via those letters, numbers and pictures.

AN: 

ME: OMG!!!!! 46 subs on just foreword?

DONGHAE: Thank me for that.

ME: I love you and all that, but please let me talk to my lovely readers else I will tell them about what happened the night before. IN FULL DETAIL.

DONGHAE: You bad bad bad woman, HYUKKKIIIIEEE, TANYA IS BULLYING ME.

HYUKJAE: Again? Hae, how can you let someone seven years younger to you bully you so often? Aish, comeon, we have to leave for Mokpo.

ME: DON'T FORGET I LOVE YOUUUUU HAE. Ah....where was I? Yes, OMG 46 subs...You guys are just amazing...let me kiss you all and as a reward I would like to say that I am taking up requests, yayyyeee!! Just let me be your genie and tell me your wishes!! DONGHAE DON'T KILL ME!!!!

OKAY OKAY!!!! EUNHAE ones:)

Love ya ^^